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SCHEDULE: October 2014

Times listed for EASTERN and PACIFIC timezones except where otherwise noted.

Monday, October 20

6:00 am
Full House
Crushed
Stephanie's favorite rock star, TOMMY PAGE, comes to her birthday party. D.J. also yearns for Tommy, and the girls both try to win his affection.
TV-G
6:30 am
Rules of Engagement
Role Play
TV-PG
7:00 am
Married With Children
Shoeway to Heaven
TV-PG
7:30 am
Married With Children
Driving Mr. Boondy
TV-PG
8:00 am
King of Queens, The
I, Candy
Doug's self-esteem gets a boost when a waitress flirts with him.
TV-PG
8:30 am
King of Queens, The
Sparing Carrie
Doug's bowling team must win a match or else fire Carrie.
TV-PG
9:00 am
Movie
Eurotrip
Have you ever pressed "Send" on an e-mail and immediately wished you could get it back? Scotty Thomas and his Berlin-based computer pen pal, Mieke, have been writing each other for years, sharing every detail of their lives. When Mieke makes a 'cyber pass' at Scotty, he completely freaks out, thinking that this guy he's known for years is coming on to him--in German no less. Too bad the one detail Scotty doesn't seem to know is that, in Germany, Mieke is a girl's name. By the time Scotty figures out that Mieke is a girl, and a hot one at that, Mieke has cut off her e-mail account and all contact with him. Thinking that this might be his one chance at true love--even though he's never actually met the girl--Scotty and his best friends, Cooper and the twins Jenny and Jamie, embark on a raucous trip across Europe headed for Berlin. Their trek takes them from London to Paris to Amsterdam and Eastern Europe, exposing them--literally--to every lascivious, larcenous and lecherous indulgence Europe has to offer, in a comedy that gives new meaning to the phrase "foreign relations."
TV-14
11:00 am
America's Funniest Home Videos
AFHV #2101
Little bitty butter girl and 21 reasons to love AFV
TV-G
12:00 pm
American Dad
Hurricane
Stan attempts to save his family after a hurricane floods Lower Langley--despite Fran's warnings that Stan is a bad decision-maker during a crisis.
TV-14
12:30 pm
American Dad
Ward Show, A
After he's appointed Steve's legal guardian, Roger has Principal Lewis fired for letting Steve break the school's rules; Stan and Fran vacation at a waterpark.
TV-14
1:00 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Bigfat
After the airplane he's riding in crashes in the Canadian wilderness, Peter transforms into a feral beast.
TV-14
1:30 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Total Recall
Peter discovers that he's anything but irreplaceable when Lois begins hanging out with his friends; Stewie and Brian embark on a mission to reunite Stewie with his teddy bear.
TV-14
2:00 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Save the Clam
Peter and his friends attempt to save The Drunken Clam bar from being demolished; Meg takes a job as an undertaker's assistant.
TV-14
2:30 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Farmer Guy
When a crime spree sweeps through Quahog, the Griffins move to the safety of a farm, where they're forced to open a meth lab to make ends meet.
TV-14
3:00 pm
Robot Chicken
Junk in the Trunk
Rachael Leigh Cook smashes more than eggs in her latest anti-heroin public service announcement. Optimus Prime, leader of the Transformers, falls prey to prostate cancer. The outcome is never in doubt during "World's Most One-Sided Fistfights Caught on Film." Outtakes from Dukes of Hazzard, The X-Files, Battlestar Galactica and more come to light in "Bloopers."
TV-14
3:15 pm
Robot Chicken
Nightmare Generator
The classic film Jaws gets a special edition DVD. Scandal at the North Pole is revealed in "Unsolved Case Files: Claus & Effect." The A-Team solves its problems with maximum firepower and minimal intelligence.
TV-14
3:30 pm
Childrens Hospital
I See Her Face Everywhere
As the new season begins, Cat Black is conflicted about her full term pregnancy, because the father (Nick Kroll) is 6 years old and has advanced aging disease; the doctors remember Lola who still seems to be dead; Chief has more than professional feelings for the new administrator; Glenn cures cancer.
TV-14
3:45 pm
Childrens Hospital
No One Can Replace Her
Cat goes into labor; Lola turns out not to be dead; Blake returns to Childrens Hospital after his spin-off is canceled; a sexy new doctor arrives and stirs up the flames of desire.
TV-14
4:00 pm
American Dad
Lincoln Lover
Greg introduces Stan to the Langley Falls Log Cabin Republicans. Only after Stan's taken with their fabulous ways does he realize that it's a gay group. To gain further acceptance into this wonderful group, Stan decides to become gay. Meanwhile, Terry is furious to discover Greg is a Republican.
TV-14
4:30 pm
American Dad
Merlot Down Dirty Shame
Complications ensue when Roger accompanies Francine to wine country; Klaus and Hayley trick Steve into believing he's dreaming when he's really awake.
TV-14
5:00 pm
American Dad
Roy Rodgers McFreely
After term limits force Stan out of his position as president of the HOA, Roger steps in as the new leader under the guise of one Roy Rogers McFreely. Roger uses his power to pass new resolutions and by-laws solely to anger Stan, who earlier refused to buy Roger grenadine. Stan teams up with Hayley and plots to have Roger removed from office.
TV-14
5:30 pm
American Dad
Tearjerker
Stan and the family are characters in a James Bond style spoof. Stan must stop Tearjerker, played by Roger, a diabolical film producer who makes movies that can kill. Tearjerker's fiendish plot involves abducting celebrities from his spa and replacing them with celebrity robots that make horrible movies, all in an effort to make his masterpiece "Oscar's Gold" the best and saddest movie ever, causing millions of moviegoers to cry themselves to death.
TV-14
6:00 pm
American Dad
One That Got Away, The
Roger discovers that one of his personas has taken on a life of his own. Back at home, the Smith family becomes addicted to the 1970s electronic game "Simon."
TV-14
6:30 pm
American Dad
Finger Lenting Good
Francine asks her family to give up their vices for Lent or risk losing a finger.
TV-14
7:00 pm
American Dad
Missing Kink, The
Francine discovers she has a spanking fetish; Hayley goes out on a date with Snot.
TV-14
7:30 pm
American Dad
Da Flippity Flop
Klaus swaps bodies with Stan after discovering that his original human body is on ice at the CIA; after converting the attic into a gym, Roger attempts to convince Stan to sign up for a lifetime membership.
TV-14
8:00 pm
American Dad
Independent Movie
Snot's father dies but Snot refuses to go to the funeral. Steve convinces Snot to take a road trip across the country to attend. Along the way the boys experience life as an independent movie, complete with strange characters and moments of raw emotion.
TV-14
8:30 pm
American Dad
Familyland
The Smith family goes to the theme park "Familyland" for vacation. Francine wants the family to spend the day together, but the individual members go their separate ways. Francine cries in front of a statue of the park's founder, Roy Family, and awakens Roy from a deep slumber.
TV-14
9:00 pm
American Dad
Blonde Ambition
When her efforts to save the planet prove hopeless, Hayley decides that she might get more attention if she becomes a blonde. Meanwhile, Stan and Steve go on a mission to find a new home for the Smiths.
TV-14
9:30 pm
American Dad
Rubberneckers
Stan and Francine go out to dinner and Francine catches Stan looking at another woman. Stan tells his co-workers that he got caught and the co-workers teach Stan about Rubbernecking, the art of checking out other woman on the sly.
TV-14
10:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Roommate Transmogrification, The
In the 4th season finale, Raj moves in with Sheldon when Leonard & Priya's "Star Trek" bedroom fantasy is too much for him; and the guys tease Howard when Bernadette gets her PHD, making Howard the only one without a doctorate.
TV-PG
10:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Skank Reflex Analysis, The
On the fifth season premiere, Penny worries that she's screwed things up permanently with her friends after her night with Raj, while Sheldon takes command of the paintball team.
TV-14
11:00 pm
Conan (CC)
Episode 4636
Guests: Alan Cumming, Pentatonix
TV-14
12:00 am
Cougar Town (SAP)
Lover's Touch
There is no time for romance when you're planning a wedding, and Jules is in full "AWATT" mode (All Wedding All the Time), until Travis is in an accident and rushed to the hospital. Meanwhile Grayson is feeling neglected by Jules, so the guys try to cheer him up by inventing a new game called "D-Ball," and things get dangerous when Laurie and Ellie want to play, on "Cougar Town."
TV-PG
12:30 am
Conan (CC)
Episode 4636
Guests: Alan Cumming, Pentatonix
TV-14
1:30 am
Deal With It
RC Chaos in Hotel
After causing a scene in a hotel lobby, our contestant must apologize to his buddy in the most sensible way possible, with a kiss on the lips. In the Chair: Howie Mandel. Rascal #2: A female contestant has had enough with the terrible service, and decides to get the waitress' attention in an unusual way, by throwing a shoe at her. In the chair: Yvette Nicole Brown.
TV-14
2:00 am
Deal With It
Shirts Off
Things get hot and heavy when our contestant is told to take his shirt off in the middle of a restaurant. The real challenge He must get his friend to do the same. In the chair: Joan Rivers and Melissa Rivers. You're Getting Heavy: Our contestant struggles to keep his wife at lunch after he's instructed to tell her that she's looking a little heavy. In the chair: Mel B.
TV-14
2:30 am
Movie
School for Scoundrels
Roger is a beleaguered New York City meter maid who is plagued by anxiety and low self-esteem. In order to overcome his feelings of inadequacy, Roger enrolls in a top-secret confidence-building class taught by the suavely underhanded Dr. P. Aided by his assistant, Lesher, Dr. P uses unorthodox, often dangerous methods, but he guarantees results: Employ his techniques and you will unleash your inner lion. Surrounded by a band of misfit classmates-- Walsh, who's dying to move out of mother's basement; Diego, a punching bag for his hen-pecker of a wife; and Eli, a shy guy just looking for female companionship--Roger's confidence grows and he makes his way to the head of the class, even finding the courage to ask out his longtime crush, Amanda. But Roger quickly discovers that star students have a way of catapulting Dr. P's competitive side into high gear. Soon enough, the teacher sets out to infiltrate and destroy Roger's personal and professional life. Nothing is off limits for Dr. P, not even the object of Roger's affection. In order to show Amanda Dr. P's true colors, Roger must rally his new friends and find a way to beat the master at his own game.
TV-14
4:45 am
TBS Network Preview
Episode 1
A backstage peek at TBS's original programs.
5:00 am
Married With Children
Kelly Breaks Out
TV-PG
5:30 am
Married With Children
Naughty but Niece
TV-PG
 

Tuesday, October 21

6:00 am
Full House
Spellbound
Stephanie competes in a spelling contest at school. Jesse gives Michelle a reading lesson, and Danny gives Stephanie a lesson in being a good loser.
TV-G
6:30 am
Rules of Engagement
Catering
TV-PG
7:00 am
Married With Children
Business Sucks (1)
TV-PG
7:30 am
Married With Children
Business Still Sucks (2)
TV-PG
8:00 am
King of Queens, The
Block Buster
Doug's memories of his glory days as a football player don't match those of his old teammates.
TV-PG
8:30 am
King of Queens, The
Frozen Pop
Arthur moves into the upstairs bedroom when cold weather forces him out of the basement.
TV-PG
9:00 am
Movie
Head of State
Mays Gilliam, a Washington D.C. neighborhood Alderman, is about to be red-lined out of his job. But after the untimely death of the party frontrunner, Gilliam is plucked from obscurity, and thrust into the limelight as his party''s nominee--for President of the United States. The players in Gilliam''s life include: Mitch Gilliam, his unsophisticated older brother who becomes his running mate; Kim, his ex-girlfriend who had once dumped him, but who now has a sudden change of heart as she sees a chance at becoming First Lady; Martin Geller, his campaign manager; Lisa Clark, the woman who truly believes in Gilliam; and Debra Lassiter, the woman who doesn''t have faith in his candidacy, and is serving as his reluctant advisor.
TV-14
11:00 am
America's Funniest Home Videos
AFHV #2102
People getting waxed and the seven dwarfs starring seven dogs
TV-G
12:00 pm
Cleveland Show, The
Ladies' Night
Tired of attending social gatherings with neighbors, Donna sneaks off and, pretending she's still unmarried, spends time with her friends at a single mothers group; Rallo helps Junior run for student council president.
TV-14
12:30 pm
Cleveland Show, The
Brown Thanksgiving, A
While celebrating Thanksgiving with his parents and family, Cleveland discovers that Donna's Auntie Momma is transgendered; Roberta and Federline end up at a homeless mission after Federline's car is stolen.
TV-14
1:00 pm
American Dad
Worst Stan, The
Stan arranges for Principal Lewis to marry Superintendent Riggs so he can finally be a best man at a wedding; Roger's new shorts attract the interest of Ricky Martin.
TV-14
1:30 pm
American Dad
Virtual In-Stanity
Stan uses an avatar of a hot girl to bond with Steve; Roger plots a violent end for frat brothers who stiffed him out of $20 for a limousine ride.
TV-14
2:00 pm
Family Guy (SAP)
No Country Club for Old Men
A wealthy girl invites Chris and his family to spend time at the prestigious Barrington Country Club, but complications ensue when Carter gets kicked out of the club.
TV-14
2:30 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Roads to Vegas
Brian and Stewie go to Vegas, but chaos erupts when a glitch in Stewie's new teleportation machine creates a duplicate Brian and Stewie.
TV-14
3:00 pm
Robot Chicken
Adultizzle Swizzle
It's Alien vs. Predator on the battleground of love in a special episode of "First Date." See what the future holds in "Carousel of Tomorrow." Popeye experiences a world without his hamburger-leeching friend in "It's a Wimpy-Filled Life." The modern video game Halo invades the old-school classic Donkey Kong. Mrs. McNally's third-graders present: Tim Burton's The Corpse Bride. The truth about Ponda Baba's bad day.
TV-14
3:15 pm
Robot Chicken
Gold Dust Gasoline
The animals Noah left behind try to survive the flood in their very own ark. Enjoy instant nostalgia with "That '00s Show." Mrs. McNally's third-graders produce an animated abomination in "The Best Cowboy." The world's most famous cars--from KITT to the Batmobile to the General Lee--race against each other in "3 Fast 3 Furious."
TV-14
3:30 pm
Childrens Hospital
I Am Not Afraid of Any Ghost
Halloween descends on the hospital, which causes Owen to be particularly horny for the ghost of Lola; Chief's visit to the maternity ward results in more than she bargained for; a ton of sexy girls in costumes arrive. Featuring a little boy dressed as Ernie Hudson from Ghostbusters.
TV-14
3:45 pm
Childrens Hospital
Give a Painted Brother a Break
Blake's estranged clown brother Sir Tinkle Button pays a surprise visit.áAlso featuring Ride World's Daffy Giraffy as a suspected breaker of several children's arms.
TV-14
4:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With Ross' Sandwich, The
Joey becomes exasperated from hiding Chandler and Monica's secret. Ross gets in trouble when he expresses his rage.
TV-14
4:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With Chandler's Work Laugh, The
Chandler's behavior toward his boss annoys Monica. Ross' latest romance astounds everyone.
TV-PG
5:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With Joey's Bag, The
Phoebe meets another long-lost relative. Joey wears a shoulder bag. Series star LISA KUDROW plays a dual role.
TV-PG
5:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One Where Everybody Finds Out, The
Chandler and Monica's relationship becomes less of a secret. Ross must prove to his boss that he's sane in order to return to work.
TV-14
6:00 pm
Seinfeld
Junior Mint, The
Visitors Kramer and Jerry think they killed a surgery patient; guest Susan Walters.
TV-PG
6:30 pm
Seinfeld
Smelly Car, The
A valet's odor permeates Jerry's car; guests Nick Bakay, Taylor Negron.
TV-PG
7:00 pm
Seinfeld
Mango, The
Jerry learns Elaine pretended to enjoy their intimacy; Kramer is banned from a fruit store.
TV-PG
7:30 pm
Seinfeld
Pilot, The (Part I)
Jerry and George produce their pilot, but George doesn't like the actor playing him; Kramer has a personal problem.
TV-PG
8:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Infestation Hypothesis, The
A battle of wills between Sheldon and Penny leaves Amy caught in the middle, while Leonard tries to spice up his long-distance relationship with Priya (AARTI MANN).
TV-14
8:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Pulled Groin Extrapolation, The
Attending a co-worker's wedding, Leonard and Amy (MAYIM BIALIK) get to know each other better, while Howard and Bernadette spend the weekend with Mrs. Wolowitz!
TV-PG
9:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Wiggly Finger Catalyst, The
When Raj is upset he's the only one of the four guys who's not in a relationship, Penny sets out to find the perfect date, introducing him to Emily, a girl he can actually talk to!
TV-PG
9:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Russian Rocket Reaction, The
Sheldon and Leonard get invited to a housewarming party at WIL WHEATON's house; while Howard gets an out-of-this-world opportunity!
TV-PG
10:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Rhinitis Revelation, The
Sheldon craves attention from his visiting mother.
TV-PG
10:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Good Guy Fluctuation, The
Sheldon tries to spook his friends on Halloween.
TV-14
11:00 pm
Conan (CC)
Episode 4637
Guests: Dana Carvey, Gary Gulman
TV-14
12:00 am
Cougar Town (SAP)
Full Moon Fever
One look is all it takes for Bobby to fall for Travis' photography professor (guest star Sarah Chalke as Angie), but Travis refuses to introduce them; Laurie falls for a guy she's never met when she begins a romance, via twitter, with a soldier in Iraq; and Jules and Andy prepare to go to war against an unruly gang of kids on bikes who are terrorizing the cul-de-sac, on "Cougar Town."
TV-PG
12:30 am
Conan (CC)
Episode 4637
Guests: Dana Carvey, Gary Gulman
TV-14
1:30 am
Deal With It
Cult, The
Our contestant is put in the hot seat when a prostitute approaches asking for the money he owes her, and is tasked with explaining the whole thing to his infuriated girlfriend. In the chair: Bobby Lee. A contestant alarms her son when she tells him she's been following a new spiritual leader named Gregory. Things get messy when Gregory arrives and encourages her to drink the "elixir of freedom." In the chair: Alex Mandel.
TV-14
2:00 am
Deal With It
Hypnotist
When a contestant can't stop yawning and sneezing, a nearby hypnotist offers his assistance, with some shattering results. In the chair: Josh Gad. A contestant is told to slap the ass of a supermodel. His female friend finds the action decidedly unglamorous. In the chair: Heidi Klum (& Howie Mandel).
TV-14
2:30 am
Movie
Head of State
Mays Gilliam, a Washington D.C. neighborhood Alderman, is about to be red-lined out of his job. But after the untimely death of the party frontrunner, Gilliam is plucked from obscurity, and thrust into the limelight as his party''s nominee--for President of the United States. The players in Gilliam''s life include: Mitch Gilliam, his unsophisticated older brother who becomes his running mate; Kim, his ex-girlfriend who had once dumped him, but who now has a sudden change of heart as she sees a chance at becoming First Lady; Martin Geller, his campaign manager; Lisa Clark, the woman who truly believes in Gilliam; and Debra Lassiter, the woman who doesn''t have faith in his candidacy, and is serving as his reluctant advisor.
TV-14
4:30 am
Married With Children
Dial "B" for Virgin
TV-PG
5:00 am
Married With Children
Sleepless in Chicago
TV-PG
5:30 am
Married With Children
No Pot to Pease In
TV-PG
 

Wednesday, October 22

6:00 am
Full House
Too Much Monkey Business
Danny's sister Wendy comes to town with her pet chimpanzee to interview for a job at the local zoo. The chimpanzee wreaks havoc and develops a liking for Jesse--as Joey and Wendy start their own romance.
TV-G
6:30 am
Rules of Engagement
Cooking Class
TV-PG
7:00 am
Married With Children
Dud Bowl
TV-PG
7:30 am
Married With Children
Man for No Seasons, A
TV-PG
8:00 am
King of Queens, The
Party Favor
Carrie convinces Doug to be the best man for his cousin, and helps him organize the bachelor party.
TV-PG
8:30 am
King of Queens, The
Fair Game
Doug catches Carrie cheating while playing board games with friends.
TV-PG
9:00 am
Movie
Just Married
Tom is a sports announcer who comes from blue collar roots. Sarah is a writer whose family is as wealthy as it is snobbish. Much to her family''s--and ex-boyfriend''s--horror, Sarah and Tom fall in love and get married. Following their wedding, Tom and Sarah set off for what they expect to be the perfect honeymoon; however, thanks to her conspiring family and vindictive ex, the happy couple experiences the honeymoon from hell.
TV-14
11:00 am
America's Funniest Home Videos
AFHV #2103
Department of duh and birthdays
TV-G
12:00 pm
Cleveland Show, The
From Bed to Worse
After tiring of Cleveland's presence at the house, Rallo decides to drive a wedge between Cleveland and Donna by sleeping in their bed.
TV-14
12:30 pm
Cleveland Show, The
Cleveland Brown Christmas, A
Cleveland discovers that Donna has been lying to Rallo as to why Robert never shows up for Christmas...and makes it his mission to reconnect father and son.
TV-14
1:00 pm
American Dad
Scarlett Getter, The
Francine is disgusted when Stan reestablishes contact with a crush from CIA boot camp; Bullock hires a bounty hunter to capture Roger; Steve wears Hayley's panties after concluding they bring him luck.
TV-14
1:30 pm
American Dad
Season's Beatings
When a play about the life of Jesus Christ turns into a brutal battle between Stan and Roger, Stan is excommunicated from the Christian church; Hayley and Jeff adopt an infant son whom Stan believes is the Antichrist.
TV-14
2:00 pm
Family Guy (SAP)
Finders Keepers
After Peter finally goes to the dentist to take care of his bad breath, the Griffins celebrate with a family dinner at The Founding Father Restaurant. The waiter notices Stewie coloring in his placemat, and explains that it's actually a reprinted treasure map.
TV-14
2:30 pm
Family Guy (SAP)
Vestigial Peter
Fed up with PeterÆs old, tattered, shirt, Lois takes him to the mall to buy a new outfit for church. When Peter struggles with the top button, they notice a large lump on his neck. Alarmed, they rush to the hospital where Dr. Hartman guesses that itÆs an incomplete vestigial twin.
TV-14
3:00 pm
Robot Chicken
Kiddie Pool
Michael Knight's talking car parties hard in "KITT's Day Out." A brawl rocks the nursing home in "Grandma Fu." Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen unite to fight a rampaging dragon. George Jetson's murder takes center stage in "Unsolved Case Files: I, Rosie."
TV-14
3:15 pm
Robot Chicken
Plastic Buffet
America sends Harrison Ford into space to take out a killer asteroid in "Meteorgeddon." Household animals take to the slopes for "Winter Pet Games." Chucky from Child's Play takes on the cutesy Lettuce Head Kids.
TV-14
3:30 pm
Childrens Hospital
Joke Overload
When an elderly soulful Black man (Ernie Hudson from Ghostbusters) and a racist white boy are impaled by the same flagpole, the staff learns a lesson about racial tolerance.á Lola learns a different lesson from two Star Trek fans (Adam Scott, Clark Duke); Roastmaster General Jeffrey Ross pays a visit and levels his signature insults with reckless abandon.
TV-14
3:45 pm
Childrens Hospital
End of the Middle, The
News Readers visits the set of "Childrens Hospital" as the cast and crew reflect on the show's history and recent cancellation; new questions about dolphins' place in the ecosystem; a visit with Kate Walsh ("Private Practice").
TV-14
4:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With the Girl Who Hits Joey, The
Chandler thinks Monica wants more from their relationship. Ross fails to impress his new neighbors.
TV-PG
4:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With the Cop, The
Joey wonders if he is in love with Monica. Phoebe impersonates a police officer.
TV-PG
5:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With Rachel's Inadvertent Kiss, The
Rachel interviews for a great job--but she may get it for the wrong reason. Monica competes to have a better relationship than Phoebe's.
TV-14
5:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One Where Rachel Smokes, The
Rachel submits to peer pressure at work. Joey and Ross' son audition for the same commercial -- but only one can get the part.
TV-PG
6:00 pm
Seinfeld
Pilot, The (Part 2)
Jerry and George produce their pilot, but George doesn't like the actor playing him; Kramer has a personal problem.
TV-PG
6:30 pm
Seinfeld
Glasses, The
George buys effeminate glasses; dog-bite victim Elaine thinks she has rabies.
TV-PG
7:00 pm
Seinfeld
Puffy Shirt, The
Jerry appears on ``Today'' wearing a silly shirt; guests Bryant Gumbel, Jerry Stiller.
TV-PG
7:30 pm
Seinfeld
Sniffing Accountant, The
Jerry, Kramer and Newman investigate their accountant's unexplained sniffle.
TV-PG
8:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Isolation Permutation, The
Bernadette & Penny shop for wedding dresses...without Amy.
TV-PG
8:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Ornithophobia Diffusion, The
Sheldon must overcome his fear of birds.
TV-PG
9:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Flaming Spittoon Acquisition, The
Sheldon becomes jealous when Stuart asks Amy for a date.
TV-PG
9:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Speckerman Recurrance, The
Leonard comes face-to-face with his high school bully.
TV-14
10:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Shiny Trinket Maneuver, The
Sheldon gets in trouble with Amy, and it's up to Penny to teach him how to be a better boyfriend. Howard, meanwhile, must come to grips with Bernadette's dislike of children.
TV-PG
10:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Recombination Hypothesis, The
Everything might change when Leonard offers Penny a spur of the moment invitation to a romantic dinner for two on the 100th episode of the series.
TV-14
11:00 pm
Conan (CC)
Episode 4638
Guests: Kat Dennings, Wyatt Cenac, Tenacious D
TV-14
12:00 am
Cougar Town (SAP)
One Story Town, A
Jules and the gang decide Bobby needs some help romancing Angie (guest star Sarah Chalke) so they launch "operation kiss-the-girl." Meanwhile, other former "Scrubs" cast turn up, as Ted (Sam Lloyd) and the Peons pass through on their way to audition at Disney World, on "Cougar Town."
TV-PG
12:30 am
Conan (CC)
Episode 4638
Guests: Kat Dennings, Wyatt Cenac, Tenacious D
TV-14
1:30 am
Deal With It
Blind Rose
A contestant is instructed to have wandering eyes for an attractive woman at a nearby table, and experiences his furious fiancé's jealous side with a face-full of water. In the chair: Adam Carolla. When lunch with her brother is interrupted by a diner asking the contestant to watch his elderly mother, she is instructed to take her frustration out on the helpless woman. In the chair: Alex Mandel.
TV-14
2:00 am
Deal With It
Nut Job
A concerned friend seriously questions the sanity of our contestant after she is told to brush her teeth at the table and carry out conversations with figments of her imagination. In the chair: Joan Rivers and Melissa Rivers. This contestant has to deal with a particularly difficult challenge; tell her husband that he's not the father of their child. In the chair: Bobby Lee.
TV-14
2:30 am
Movie
Just Married
Tom is a sports announcer who comes from blue collar roots. Sarah is a writer whose family is as wealthy as it is snobbish. Much to her family''s--and ex-boyfriend''s--horror, Sarah and Tom fall in love and get married. Following their wedding, Tom and Sarah set off for what they expect to be the perfect honeymoon; however, thanks to her conspiring family and vindictive ex, the happy couple experiences the honeymoon from hell.
TV-14
4:30 am
Married With Children
Naked and the Dead, but Mostly the Naked, The
TV-PG
5:00 am
Married With Children
I Want My Psycho Dad (1)
TV-PG
5:30 am
Married With Children
I Want My Psycho Dad (2)
TV-PG
 

Thursday, October 23

6:00 am
Full House
Devil Made Me Do It, The
Michelle discusses her mischievousness with the "Good Michelle" and the "Bad Michelle" before she actually misbehaves. When "Bad Michelle" wins, trouble follows.
TV-G
6:30 am
Rules of Engagement
Unpleasant Surprises
TV-PG
7:00 am
Married With Children
Kelly Takes a Shot
Bud helps Kelly with a commercial audition to prove himself to Marcy's niece.
TV-PG
7:30 am
Married With Children
Something Larry This Way Comes
TV-PG
8:00 am
King of Queens, The
Shmenkmans, The
Doug and Carrie search for new friends, who do not have children.
TV-PG
8:30 am
King of Queens, The
Meet By-Product
St. Valentine's Day finds Doug and Carrie reminiscing about the first time they met.
TV-14
9:00 am
Movie
Land of the Lost
Has-been scientist Dr. Rick Marshall, is a man with no weapons, few skills and questionable smarts who must survive an alternate universe full of marauding dinosaurs and fantastic creatures from beyond our world. Marshall has been sucked through a space-time vortex to a place of spectacular sights known as the Land of the Lost. Coming along with him for the adventure are crack-smart research assistant Holly and a redneck souvenirist named Will. Chased by a T. rex and stalked by painfully slow reptiles known as Sleestak, Marshall, Will and Holly must rely on their only ally-a primate called Chaka-to navigate out of the hybrid dimension. Escape from this routine expedition gone awry and they're her s. Get stuck, and they'll be permanent refugees in the Land of the Lost.
TV-14
11:00 am
America's Funniest Home Videos
AFHV #2104
Electrical shocks and "so you think you know videos"
TV-G
12:00 pm
Cleveland Show, The
Field of Streams
After raising money to rebuild the high school's sports stadium, Cleveland becomes the baseball team's coach...and attempts to convince his son to play ball.
TV-14
12:30 pm
Cleveland Show, The
Love Rollercoaster
Roberta disguises herself in a "fat suit" to prove she can get by without her good looks, only to attract Cleveland Jr's advances; Cleveland and his friends invent a moveable coaster for beers.
TV-14
1:00 pm
American Dad
Unbrave One, The
With Roger's help, Steve dresses up as a superhero to prove his bravery to his father; when Stan discovers that Fran may be pregnant, he hopes the infant will turn out to be the brave child he never had.
TV-14
1:30 pm
American Dad
Stanny Tendergrass
Hoping to show Steve the value of hard work, Stan gets Steve a job at a country club; Francine struggles to come up with her own catchphrase.
TV-14
2:00 pm
Family Guy (SAP)
Fistful of Meg, A
TV-14
2:30 pm
Family Guy (SAP)
Boopa-Dee Bappa Dee
The Quahog 5 News reports an ongoing price war between airlines has led to extremely reduced fares. Lois takes advantage of the situation and purchases tickets to Italy for the family.
TV-14
3:00 pm
Robot Chicken
Vegetable Fun Fest
The secrets of The Crying Game, Star Wars and The Village are exposed in "Welcome to the Spoilers." The Teen Titans strengthen their roster by adding Beavis and Butt-head. Travel back in time to witness Benny Hill's funeral. The Great Pumpkin of Peanuts fame finally shows itself--and starts killing everyone in sight.
TV-14
3:15 pm
Robot Chicken
Badunkadunk
The roller-coaster celebrity life of the Incredible Hulk is profiled in "Hollywood Spotlight." The Masters of the Universe are rocked by a Paris Hilton-style sex tape.
TV-14
3:30 pm
Childrens Hospital
Frankfurters, Allman Brothers, Death, Frankfurters
A knife stuck in a boy's chest may not be what it seems; Glenn's cancer cure is threatened by a mysterious visitor, a mind-reading girl visits the coma room.
TV-14
3:45 pm
Childrens Hospital
Hot Enough for You?
When the power goes out on the hottest day of the year, sexual tensions boil over among the staff.á Blake is date-raped.á Dori fries eggs on her boobs.
TV-14
4:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One Where Ross Can't Flirt, The
Ross' flirting technique fails to impress a cute pizza-delivery woman. A surprise awaits Joey when he tells everyone about his big television appearance.
TV-PG
4:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With the Ride Along, The
The guys enjoy riding along with a police officer -- until a gunshot is heard. Rachel overhears a telephone message for Ross from his second ex-wife.
TV-PG
5:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With the Ball, The
Phoebe's boyfriend wants her to move in with him. Ross and Joey involve Chandler and Monica in an obsessive game.
TV-PG
5:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With Joey's Big Break, The
Joey's first major film role leads to an unexpected experience in Las Vegas. Phoebe can't remember why she hates Ross.
TV-PG
6:00 pm
Seinfeld
Bris, The
A religious ceremony makes Jerry and Elaine apprehensive about being godparents.
TV-PG
6:30 pm
Seinfeld
Lip Reader, The
George enlists a lip-reader (Marlee Matlin) to learn why his girlfriend dumped him.
TV-PG
7:00 pm
Seinfeld
Barber, The
Jerry doesn't have the nerve to dump his regular barber.
TV-PG
7:30 pm
Seinfeld
Non-Fat Yogurt, The
Jerry and Elaine suspect Kramer's yogurt shop is causing their weight gain.
TV-PG
8:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Beta Test Initiation, The
Leonard and Penny "beta test" their relationship.
TV-PG
8:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Friendship Contraction, The
Sheldon's selfish demands force Leonard to reconsider their friendship. Meanwhile, Howard tries to pick his astronaut nickname. NASA astronaut MIKE MASSIMINO guest stars.
TV-PG
9:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Vacation Solution, The
When Sheldon is forced to take a vacation by the university, he goes to work with Amy in her neurobiology lab.
TV-PG
9:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Rothman Disintegration, The
When a corner office at the University opens up, Sheldon must compete for it with his office nemesis, Barry Kripke. Meanwhile, Penny receives an unusual gift from Amy.
TV-PG
10:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Werewolf Transformation, The
A change in Sheldon's routine forces him to re-evaluate his entire life, when his barber is sick. Meanwhile, Howard rethinks his decision to go into space after astronaut training.
TV-PG
10:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Weekend Vortex, The
Sheldon chooses to participate in a guys-only weekend Star Wars gaming marathon rather than go with Amy to her aunt's birthday party... and gets a lesson from Penny and Amy.
TV-PG
11:00 pm
Conan (CC)
Episode 4639
Guests: Neil Patrick Harris, Kiesza
TV-14
12:00 am
Cougar Town (SAP)
Something Big
Just as Jules is trying to work through Grayson's "baggage" from his wild single days, a chance encounter with a former fling, Holly (guest star Briga Heelan), ends with him learning that he's the father of a one-year-old baby girl he never knew he had, on "Cougar Town." Nicole Sullivan guest stars as Lynn Mettler, Jules and Grayson's pre-marriage counselor, and Sarah Chalke guest stars as Angie.
TV-PG
12:30 am
Conan (CC)
Episode 4639
Guests: Neil Patrick Harris, Kiesza
TV-14
1:30 am
Deal With It
Howie Mandel and Nick Cannon
HYPOCHONDRIAC: What starts out as simple exercises in staying healthy quickly turns into a series of obsessive procedures, as our contestant finds creative ways of keeping the germs at bay. Co-host: Howie Mandel. BEST MEDICINE: When a contestant starts acting goofy after taking a mystery pill, her brother must try and stop her from grazing on the décor, and blowing on his belly button. Co-host: Nick Cannon.
TV-14
2:00 am
Deal With It
Heidi Klum and Roman Atwood & Dennis Roady
ART CLASS: Beauty is only skin deep, and this contestant experiences that firsthand, after requesting that a model in an art class get nude for the sake of her sculpture. Co-host: Heidi Klum. CRIME FIGHTER: After witnessing a shady diner swipe some cash from a nearby table, our contestant dons a mask and cape, and gives the man a taste of vigilante justice by showing him the door...then throwing him through it. Co-hosts: Roman Atwood and Dennis Roady.
TV-14
2:30 am
Movie
Land of the Lost
Has-been scientist Dr. Rick Marshall, is a man with no weapons, few skills and questionable smarts who must survive an alternate universe full of marauding dinosaurs and fantastic creatures from beyond our world. Marshall has been sucked through a space-time vortex to a place of spectacular sights known as the Land of the Lost. Coming along with him for the adventure are crack-smart research assistant Holly and a redneck souvenirist named Will. Chased by a T. rex and stalked by painfully slow reptiles known as Sleestak, Marshall, Will and Holly must rely on their only ally-a primate called Chaka-to navigate out of the hybrid dimension. Escape from this routine expedition gone awry and they're her s. Get stuck, and they'll be permanent refugees in the Land of the Lost.
TV-14
4:30 am
Married With Children
Get the Dodge Outta Hell
TV-PG
5:00 am
Married With Children
25 Years and What Do You Get?
TV-PG
5:30 am
Married With Children
Ship Happens (1)
The Bundys and D'Arcys go on a Caribbean cruise.
TV-PG
 

Friday, October 24

6:00 am
Full House
Driving Miss D.J.
D.J. receives her learner's permit to drive, but Danny is too nervous to be a good instructor. Jesse volunteers to take over, but after D.J. scratches his car, he too, hesitates to teach her.
TV-G
6:30 am
Rules of Engagement
Timmy Quits
TV-PG
7:00 am
Married With Children
Ship Happens (2)
The Bundys' and D'Arcy's Caribbean cruise is ruined when the ship sinks.
TV-PG
7:30 am
Married With Children
And Bingo was Her Game-O
Peggy wins $10,000 playing Bingo. Meanwhile, NO MA'AM chooses their official beer.
TV-PG
8:00 am
King of Queens, The
Wild Cards
Doug hides his losing trip to Atlantic City from Carrie.
TV-PG
8:30 am
King of Queens, The
Surprise Artie
Carrie's surprise birthday party for Arthur is ruined when Doug loses the guest of honor.
TV-PG
9:00 am
Movie
I Love You, Man
Peter Klaven is a successful real estate agent who, upon getting engaged to the woman of his dreams, Zooey, discovers, to his dismay and chagrin, that he has no male friend close enough to serve as his Best Man. Peter immediately sets out to rectify the situation, embarking on a series of bizarre and awkward "man-dates," before meeting Sydney Fife, a charming, opinionated man with whom he instantly bonds. But the closer the two men get, the more Peter's relationship with Zooey suffers, ultimately forcing him to choose between his fiancée and his new found "bro," in a story that comically explores what it truly means to be a "friend."
TV-14
11:00 am
America's Funniest Home Videos
AFHV #2105
State spotlight: Florida and worth another look
TV-G
12:00 pm
Cleveland Show, The
Our Gang
After taking a group of delinquent teens under his wing, Cleveland encourages the kids to start a cookie business...which the kids misinterpret as advice on dealing drugs.
TV-14
12:30 pm
Cleveland Show, The
Buried Pleasure
After he learns about Holt's sex doll, Cleveland sets up Holt with a coworker named Jane, who turns out to be a bully; Cleveland Jr. accidentally consumes Rallo's pet fish.
TV-14
1:00 pm
American Dad
Wheels & The Legman And The Case of Grandpa's Key
Stan joins Wheels and the Legman as they attempt to solve a mystery involving a key; Klaus has his photo taken for a pet Web site.
TV-14
1:30 pm
American Dad
Old Stan in the Mountain
An old man places a hex on Stan, making him age at an alarming rate; Roger and Francine rehearse for a dance competition...but Roger has something up his sleeve.
TV-14
2:00 pm
Family Guy (SAP)
Life of Brian
While visiting 17th century Jamestown in his time machine, Stewie gives guns to the Native Americans in an effort to be amiable. Back in the present, Stewie and Brian are surprised to discover that Native Americans are now in control of the entire country.
TV-14
2:30 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Mother Tucker
Peter's mom announces that she is getting a divorce; Peter finds a father figure in anchorman Tom Tucker; Brian gets his own radio show.
TV-14
3:00 pm
Robot Chicken
Toy Meets Girl
William Shatner's toupee has adventures the action star can only dream of. Heaven's not all it's cracked up to be in "Can We Handle the Truth" Hilary Duff's new film combines history and teen drama in an updated The Diary of Anne Frank. The fates of the greatest action figure toy lines from decades past are exposed in "Where Are They Now"
TV-14
3:15 pm
Robot Chicken
Midnight Snack
"The World's Most One-Sided Fistfights" get wild at Mardi Gras. Benjamin Franklin grapples with historical figures like the Wright Brothers and Mahatma Gandhi in "Educational Wrestling Federation."
TV-14
3:30 pm
Childrens Hospital
Coffee Machine Paid for Itself, The
A hip sexy Rabbi (David Wain) arrives and seduces Valerie, angering Glenn; Sy faces a moral dilemma involving a coffee machine; Lola is confused by a mysterious organ in a cooler.
TV-14
3:45 pm
Childrens Hospital
Show Me on Montana
"Take Your Daughter to Work" day at the hospital ignites a series of conflicts involving a leering child molester (Steve Agee), Chief's sexy daughter (Lizzy Caplan), and an 11 year-old patient whose gender is yet to be determined.
TV-14
4:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One in Vegas (Part 1), The
The gang travels to Las Vegas, Nevada, where more than one surprise awaits. After Ross misinterprets Rachel's actions, a war of public humiliation results.
TV-PG
4:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One in Vegas (Part 2), The
Monica and Chandler get lucky in Las Vegas, Nevada. Rachel makes Ross regret playing a prank on her. Joey schemes for fame and fortune.
TV-PG
5:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One After Vegas, The
Two of the friends leave Las Vegas married. Joey and Phoebe have a cross-country adventure.
TV-PG
5:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One Where Ross Hugs Rachel, The
Monica is bewildered by Rachel's reaction to a change in their living arrangement. Phoebe tries to make Ross confront his feelings for Rachel.
TV-PG
6:00 pm
Seinfeld
Masseuse, The
Jerry can't get his masseuse girlfriend to give him a massage.
TV-PG
6:30 pm
Seinfeld
Cigar Store Indian, The
Jerry's gift to Elaine offends Elaine's friend; guest Al Roker.
TV-PG
7:00 pm
Seinfeld
Conversion, The
Jerry thinks his girlfriend has a fungus; George converts.
TV-PG
7:30 pm
Seinfeld
Stall, The
Elaine's toilet stall has no tissue; George acts giddy around Elaine's boyfriend (Dan Cortese); guest Jami Gertz.
TV-PG
8:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Mommy Observation, The
While Sheldon and Howard continue their bonding holiday to Houston Texas; Sheldon's surprise visit to see his Mommy forces him to start addressing a new reality. Meanwhile the rest of the gang are subjected to a surprise Koothrappali "Murder Mystery" party that leads the gang to speculate where they might all be 20 years from now.
TV-PG
8:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Indecision Amalgamation, The
Raj wrestles with dating two women at the same time; Penny is offered a part in a trashy movie; and Sheldon can't decide between two gaming systems.
TV-PG
9:00 pm
Deal With It
Howie Mandel & Nick Cannon, again
EMBARRASSING PARENT: After describing her scandalous bedroom behavior, a mother takes safe sex lessons a little too far in front of her mortified daughter. Co-host: Nick Cannon. EASILY HURT: A picture is worth a thousand words. That is, unless you're this contestant's girlfriend, who has to deal with her boyfriend's clumsy attempts at communication after biting his own tongue. Co-host: Howie Mandel.
9:30 pm
Movie (DVS)
Yes Man
Carl Allen's life is going nowhere--the operative word being "no"--until he signs up for a self-help program based on one simple covenant: say yes to everything--and anything. Unleashing the power of "YES" begins to transform Carl's life in amazing an unexpected ways, getting him promoted at work and opening the door to a new romance. But his willingness to embrace every opportunity might just become too much of a good thing.
TV-14
11:30 pm
Deal With It
Howie Mandel & Nick Cannon, again
EMBARRASSING PARENT: After describing her scandalous bedroom behavior, a mother takes safe sex lessons a little too far in front of her mortified daughter. Co-host: Nick Cannon. EASILY HURT: A picture is worth a thousand words. That is, unless you're this contestant's girlfriend, who has to deal with her boyfriend's clumsy attempts at communication after biting his own tongue. Co-host: Howie Mandel.
12:00 am
Cougar Town (SAP)
You Can Still Change Your Mind
Travis wants to take Jules and Grayson's wedding pictures, but Jules, who wants everything to be perfect for her second wedding, isn't so sure; meanwhile Bobby wants to get serious with Angie (guest star Sarah Chalke), but does she feel the same way, on "Cougar Town."
TV-PG
12:30 am
Cougar Town (SAP)
Ways to Be Wicked
No one believes Ellie when she tries to convince them that her seemingly lovely mom, Betsy (guest star Susan Blakely), is actually a sociopath; Grayson decides to help Laurie with her dream of opening a cake business, but her reaction isn't what he expected; and Bobby and Chick (Ken Jenkins) help Travis and his buddies in their plan to steal the campus cougar statue, on "Cougar Town."
TV-PG
1:00 am
Movie
You, Me and Dupree
Carl and Molly have found the one unfortunate hitch in their perfectly constructed newly wedded world: Dupree. A slacker with the soul of a poet, Dupree just can''t seem to catch a break from "The Man." When he takes a week off to go be the best-man at Carl and Molly''s wedding in Hawaii, Dupree gets the unceremonious heave-ho from his boss. Now jobless, car-less and evicted from the cot at his favorite watering hole, he just needs to crash with the Petersons for a couple of days; okay, maybe a month or so. At first, Carl is psyched to have the couch guest while Molly bears the brunt of Dupree''s well-meaning antics. But, as Carl becomes buried in his grown-up job of land development and headaches, he finds it hard to juggle Dupree and his newlywed responsibilities. As time passes, his and Molly''s houseguest uses his ample spare time to become a great companion to her, underscoring Carl''s new workaholic tendencies. Even Molly''s dad begins to fall for Dupree''s carefree wisdom, frustrating Carl to no end. Soon, everyone--but Carl--begins to root for Dupree to stick around. But just as the impish buddy starts becoming a fixture in the Petersons'' home, three becomes not just a crowd, but a full-blown comic catastrophe. As the couple realizes their ideas of a white-picket fence marriage are morphing, their loveable pal serves as a daily reminder that finding your inner Dupree might just be one of life''s hidden secrets
TV-14
3:00 am
Movie
I Love You, Man
Peter Klaven is a successful real estate agent who, upon getting engaged to the woman of his dreams, Zooey, discovers, to his dismay and chagrin, that he has no male friend close enough to serve as his Best Man. Peter immediately sets out to rectify the situation, embarking on a series of bizarre and awkward "man-dates," before meeting Sydney Fife, a charming, opinionated man with whom he instantly bonds. But the closer the two men get, the more Peter's relationship with Zooey suffers, ultimately forcing him to choose between his fiancée and his new found "bro," in a story that comically explores what it truly means to be a "friend."
TV-14
5:00 am
Married With Children
Undergraduate, The
A twelve year old boy with a crush on Kelly gets her to go to his junior prom with him.
TV-PG
5:30 am
Married With Children
User Friendly
While Al and his friends tries to find out what a light switch in the Bundy house do, Bud experiences cyber sex... with Amber.
TV-PG
 

Saturday, October 25

6:00 am
Married With Children
Shoeless Al
Al can't wear shoes because of his phony lawsuit against the mall.
TV-PG
6:30 am
Married With Children
Pump Fiction
Al and Kelly make a short film about shoes, and they end up getting $10,000 dollars to produce another one.
TV-PG
7:00 am
Married With Children
Babe in Toyland, A
Kelly becomes a prima donna after being asked to fill in on a popular children's television program.
TV-PG
7:30 am
Married With Children
Radio Free Trumaine
In an attempt for a spinoff, we follow the lives of DJs Oliver Cole and Mark Campbell at a local radio station at Bud's college. Oliver and Mark risk being expelled for revealing the truth about dean Steve Rhoades' past.
TV-PG
8:00 am
King of Queens, The
Big Dougie
Doug becomes a Big Brother and attempts a 10k run.
TV-PG
8:30 am
King of Queens, The
Soft Touch
Doug is lured into a pyramid scheme that requires him to sell water filters.
TV-PG
9:00 am
King of Queens, The
Restaurant Row
Carrie forbids Doug from eating at his favorite Italian restaurant.
TV-PG
9:30 am
King of Queens, The
Whine Country
A coin toss decides the destination for Doug and Carrie's vacation; Arthur and Spence join Doug and Carrie on vacation.
TV-PG
10:00 am
Movie
American Wedding
With Great East Falls High now just a memory, the kids have grown into adults ready to wreak havoc with a new rite of passage: Jim and Michelle are getting married--in a hurry. Jim's grandmother is sick and wants to see Jim walk down the aisle, so they're going for it in two frantic weeks. Stifler plans to be there (for the bridesmaids!) and, more importantly, to throw the ultimate bachelor party (for the strippers!). Finch is all for the hedonistic rituals, but not for letting Stifler steal the maid of honor, who happens to be Michelle's sexy younger sister, Cadence. But while everybody else sweats and frets, Jim's Dad is cool as ever, dispensing advice that no one wants to hear and getting ready for one of the best days of his life.
TV-14
12:00 pm
Movie
You, Me and Dupree
Carl and Molly have found the one unfortunate hitch in their perfectly constructed newly wedded world: Dupree. A slacker with the soul of a poet, Dupree just can''t seem to catch a break from "The Man." When he takes a week off to go be the best-man at Carl and Molly''s wedding in Hawaii, Dupree gets the unceremonious heave-ho from his boss. Now jobless, car-less and evicted from the cot at his favorite watering hole, he just needs to crash with the Petersons for a couple of days; okay, maybe a month or so. At first, Carl is psyched to have the couch guest while Molly bears the brunt of Dupree''s well-meaning antics. But, as Carl becomes buried in his grown-up job of land development and headaches, he finds it hard to juggle Dupree and his newlywed responsibilities. As time passes, his and Molly''s houseguest uses his ample spare time to become a great companion to her, underscoring Carl''s new workaholic tendencies. Even Molly''s dad begins to fall for Dupree''s carefree wisdom, frustrating Carl to no end. Soon, everyone--but Carl--begins to root for Dupree to stick around. But just as the impish buddy starts becoming a fixture in the Petersons'' home, three becomes not just a crowd, but a full-blown comic catastrophe. As the couple realizes their ideas of a white-picket fence marriage are morphing, their loveable pal serves as a daily reminder that finding your inner Dupree might just be one of life''s hidden secrets
TV-14
2:00 pm
Movie (DVS)
Yes Man
Carl Allen's life is going nowhere--the operative word being "no"--until he signs up for a self-help program based on one simple covenant: say yes to everything--and anything. Unleashing the power of "YES" begins to transform Carl's life in amazing an unexpected ways, getting him promoted at work and opening the door to a new romance. But his willingness to embrace every opportunity might just become too much of a good thing.
TV-14
4:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With Ross' Denial, The
Despite Phoebe's admonitions, Ross makes a drastic decision about Rachel. Chandler and Monica bicker over their living arrangements.
TV-PG
4:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One Where Joey Loses His Insurance, The
Injured Joey must get an acting part in order to qualify for health insurance. Rachel finally learns the truth about her marriage to Ross.
TV-PG
5:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With Joey's Porsche, The
Rachel forces Ross to terminate their marriage. Phoebe's first triplet baby-sitting experience proves stressful. Joey pretends to own a sports car.
TV-PG
5:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One on the Last Night, The
The guys and the women prepare for big changes in their living arrangements.
TV-PG
6:00 pm
Everybody Loves Raymond (SAP)
Mia Famiglia
Ray's long-lost Italian Aunt Sarina seems too good to be true.
TV-PG
6:30 pm
Everybody Loves Raymond (SAP)
Marie's Meatballs
Ray asks Marie to teach Debra to cook.
TV-PG
7:00 pm
Everybody Loves Raymond (SAP)
Checkbook, The
Ray takes over the family finances.
TV-PG
7:30 pm
Everybody Loves Raymond (SAP)
Ride Along, The
Boredom turns to terror when Ray rides on patrol with Robert.
TV-PG
8:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Transporter Malfunction, The
It's a dream come true for Sheldon when he has a close encounter with his hero, Mr. Spock -- legendary sci-fi icon LEONARD NIMOY.
TV-PG
8:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Hawking Excitation, The
Sheldon has a chance to meet his hero, STEPHEN HAWKING.
TV-PG
9:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Stag Convergence, The
Howard's wedding plans are in jeopardy after the guys (and Wil Wheaton) throw him a bachelor party and details of his sexual history are leaked online.
TV-PG
9:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Launch Acceleration, The
When NASA reschedules Howard's mission and puts his wedding plans in jeopardy, he's forced to face his fears and Bernadette's dad (guest star CASEY SANDER).
TV-PG
10:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Countdown Reflection, The
When Howard and Bernadette decide they want to be married before his NASA space launch, the gang rushes to put on a wedding, on the fifth season finale.
TV-PG
10:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Date Night Variable, The
On the sixth season premiere, Howard discovers that he can't escape his mother -- even in space! Back on earth, meanwhile, Raj turns his existence as a third wheel into an art form.
TV-14
11:00 pm
Deal With It
Howie Mandel & Nick Cannon, again
EMBARRASSING PARENT: After describing her scandalous bedroom behavior, a mother takes safe sex lessons a little too far in front of her mortified daughter. Co-host: Nick Cannon. EASILY HURT: A picture is worth a thousand words. That is, unless you're this contestant's girlfriend, who has to deal with her boyfriend's clumsy attempts at communication after biting his own tongue. Co-host: Howie Mandel.
11:30 pm
Movie (DVS)
Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy
Ron Burgundy is the top-rated anchorman in San Diego in the 1970s. When feminism marches into the newsroom in the form of ambitious newswoman Veronica Corningstone, Ron is willing to play along at first--as long as Veronica stays in her place, covering cat fashion shows, cooking, and other "female" interests. But when Veronica refuses to settle for being eye candy and steps behind the news desk, it's more than a battle between two perfectly coiffed anchor-persons--it's war.
TV-14
1:30 am
Movie
American Wedding
With Great East Falls High now just a memory, the kids have grown into adults ready to wreak havoc with a new rite of passage: Jim and Michelle are getting married--in a hurry. Jim's grandmother is sick and wants to see Jim walk down the aisle, so they're going for it in two frantic weeks. Stifler plans to be there (for the bridesmaids!) and, more importantly, to throw the ultimate bachelor party (for the strippers!). Finch is all for the hedonistic rituals, but not for letting Stifler steal the maid of honor, who happens to be Michelle's sexy younger sister, Cadence. But while everybody else sweats and frets, Jim's Dad is cool as ever, dispensing advice that no one wants to hear and getting ready for one of the best days of his life.
TV-14
3:30 am
Married With Children
Shoe Room with a View, A
Al arranges for an aerobics studio to open next to the shoe store.
TV-PG
4:00 am
Married With Children
Guess Who's Coming to Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner
When Bud decides to move out, Peggy's mother arrives to stay.
TV-PG
4:30 am
Married With Children
Requiem for a Dead Briard
The family tries to console Kelly when Buck dies.
TV-PG
5:00 am
Married With Children
Reverend Al
Al and his friends turn No Ma'am into a tax-exempt church.
TV-PG
5:30 am
Married With Children
How Bleen Was My Kelly
Kelly accidentally invents a baldness cure with some unusual side effects.
TV-PG
 

Sunday, October 26

6:00 am
Married With Children
Weaker Sex, The
Al suffers public scorn when Peggy is declared a hero for taking out a pickpocket.
TV-PG
6:30 am
Married With Children
Flight of the Bumblebee
Bud takes on wrestler King Kong Bundy as his initiation into "No Ma'am."
TV-PG
7:00 am
King of Queens, The
Flower Power
Carrie thinks Doug has lost his romantic side; Arthur is called for jury duty.
TV-PG
7:30 am
King of Queens, The
Sight Gag
Doug's gift to Carrie of corneal surgery results in her temporary blindness.
TV-PG
8:00 am
Friends (SAP)
One Where Phoebe Runs, The
Chandler learns how obsessively neat Monica is when he attempts to do her a favor. Joey desperately tries not to flirt with his sexy new roommate (ELLE MACPHERSON).
TV-PG
8:30 am
Friends (SAP)
One With Ross's Teeth, The
The guys explore their femininity. Phoebe causes trouble when she kisses someone at Rachel's work.
TV-PG
9:00 am
Friends (SAP)
One With the Apothecary Table, The
Joey finally dates Janine (ELLE MACPHERSON), but she doesn't like his friends. Rachel worries that Phoebe won't appreciate the way she furnishes their apartment
TV-PG
9:30 am
Friends (SAP)
One With The Joke, The
Ross and Chandler bicker over which of them created a raunchy joke. Phoebe antagonizes Monica and Rachel with her candor. Joey reluctantly takes a waiter job at Central Perk.
TV-PG
10:00 am
Movie
Cop Out
Two longtime NYPD partners on the trail of a stolen, rare, mint-condition baseball card find themselves up against a merciless, memorabilia-obsessed gangster. But before they can recover the prized `52 Pafko, they must first rescue a Mexican beauty who holds the key to millions of dollars in off-shore bank accounts-and who has already witnessed one high-profile murder because of them. Veteran detective Jimmy Monr needs to cash in on his perfect Pafko in order to pay for his daughter''s upcoming wedding, but in the tradition of everything that can go wrong--it''s pilfered before he has a chance to collect. Paul Hodges is Jimmy''s partner-against-crime, whose preoccupation with his wife''s alleged infidelity makes it hard for him to keep his eye on the ball, or his mind on the crime. Already in trouble and with nothing left to lose, Jimmy and Paul will have to break all the rules-including enlisting the aid of stoner thief Dave, who''s working Paul''s last nerve as Paul and Jimmy try to work the case.
TV-14
12:15 pm
Movie
Zoolander
The international misadventures of fashion model Derek Zoolander, who is hired to stop a secret cartel of political assassins posing as male models. Derek soon discovers the horrifying secret of why no male models live past the age of thirty. While Derek tries to infiltrate the fashion/assassin clique led by the mean-spirited designer Mugatu, he must also contend with Hansel, a dense, on-the-rise male model who threatens to sabotage his mission--as well as his modeling career.
TV-14
2:15 pm
Movie
Not Another Teen Movie
What a year at John Hughes High! The Wasp football team goes all the way -- into the cellar, that is, when quarterback Jake Wyler makes an errant pass and Reggie Ray racks up his umpteenth concussion. Things perk up at a dazzling year-end prom when conjoined twins Kara and Sally Fratelli are crowned prom queens. Other highlights from this year include a nasty toilet explosion that drops in the middle of Mr. Keller's English class, Jake fails to seduce Janey with a human whipped cream sundae and Janey is apprehended by police after Jake's moving serenade of Aerosmith's "Janey's Got a Gun". Many new faces deck the halls this year, including Sadie, a 90 year-old undercover reporter and foreign exchange student Areola, who becomes the object of lust for all American nerds. Malik continues to be the "token black guy," Catherine is still in love with her brother, Bruce still thinks he's Asian, and Ox is still a virgin...
TV-14
4:00 pm
Movie (DVS)
Blades of Glory
Perhaps nowhere in sports is the marriage of athleticism and grace more evident than in the arena of world champion pairs figure skating--the lifts, the jumps, the routines. It''s an elegant world, a rarefied universe, a noble place populated by the crème de la crème of skating elite. Well, it used to be. When the macho, swaggering Chazz Michael Michaels takes to the rink, he is the rock star of the arena, leaving a trail of thrashed ice and shrieking female fans in his wake. The only competitor who can match Michaels'' scores is the driven former child prodigy, Jimmy MacElroy. Spotted as a youth executing triple lutzes on the frozen pond of an orphanage, MacElroy was whisked away to days of endless training, and now stands as the picture of poise, the personification of the highest ideals of the men''s sport. Michaels and MacElroy have met in finals rounds before, but their latest head-to-head at the World Championships--when they tie for first--is more than either one can bear, and their longstanding rivalry erupts into a no-holds-barred fight. The ensuing brawl not only sets fire to the World Championship''s helpless mascot, but lands both athletes in hot water: Chazz and Jimmy are called before the sport''s governing board, stripped of their gold medals and banned from the sport for life. Now, three-and-a-half years later, both men are still trying to find their way in a world without competitive skating. Michaels has devolved into a drunken party machine, skating as a costumed evil wizard in a kiddie ice review, and MacElroy has been banished to the shoe department of a chain sporting goods store. But then, inspiration (in the form of an over-friendly, former stalker of Jimmy''s) strikes, and a loophole emerges. To skate again, all Chazz and Jimmy have to do is set aside their long festering hatred of one another and join forces--as the first male/male figure skating pair to compete in the history of the sport.
TV-14
6:00 pm
Movie (DVS)
Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy
Ron Burgundy is the top-rated anchorman in San Diego in the 1970s. When feminism marches into the newsroom in the form of ambitious newswoman Veronica Corningstone, Ron is willing to play along at first--as long as Veronica stays in her place, covering cat fashion shows, cooking, and other "female" interests. But when Veronica refuses to settle for being eye candy and steps behind the news desk, it's more than a battle between two perfectly coiffed anchor-persons--it's war.
TV-14
8:00 pm
Movie (DVS)
Campaign, The
When congressman Cam Brady commits a major, public faux pas before an election, two wealthy CEOs see an opportunity to gain influence over their North Carolina district by putting up their own candidate for the job. Their man is Marty Huggins, the naïve director of the local tourism center. At first, Marty is an improbable candidate, but with the help of his backers, a ruthless campaign manager and his family's political connections, he soon becomes a real threat to Cam's reelection.
TV-14
10:00 pm
Movie (DVS)
Campaign, The
When congressman Cam Brady commits a major, public faux pas before an election, two wealthy CEOs see an opportunity to gain influence over their North Carolina district by putting up their own candidate for the job. Their man is Marty Huggins, the naïve director of the local tourism center. At first, Marty is an improbable candidate, but with the help of his backers, a ruthless campaign manager and his family's political connections, he soon becomes a real threat to Cam's reelection.
TV-14
12:00 am
Movie (DVS)
Blades of Glory
Perhaps nowhere in sports is the marriage of athleticism and grace more evident than in the arena of world champion pairs figure skating--the lifts, the jumps, the routines. It''s an elegant world, a rarefied universe, a noble place populated by the crème de la crème of skating elite. Well, it used to be. When the macho, swaggering Chazz Michael Michaels takes to the rink, he is the rock star of the arena, leaving a trail of thrashed ice and shrieking female fans in his wake. The only competitor who can match Michaels'' scores is the driven former child prodigy, Jimmy MacElroy. Spotted as a youth executing triple lutzes on the frozen pond of an orphanage, MacElroy was whisked away to days of endless training, and now stands as the picture of poise, the personification of the highest ideals of the men''s sport. Michaels and MacElroy have met in finals rounds before, but their latest head-to-head at the World Championships--when they tie for first--is more than either one can bear, and their longstanding rivalry erupts into a no-holds-barred fight. The ensuing brawl not only sets fire to the World Championship''s helpless mascot, but lands both athletes in hot water: Chazz and Jimmy are called before the sport''s governing board, stripped of their gold medals and banned from the sport for life. Now, three-and-a-half years later, both men are still trying to find their way in a world without competitive skating. Michaels has devolved into a drunken party machine, skating as a costumed evil wizard in a kiddie ice review, and MacElroy has been banished to the shoe department of a chain sporting goods store. But then, inspiration (in the form of an over-friendly, former stalker of Jimmy''s) strikes, and a loophole emerges. To skate again, all Chazz and Jimmy have to do is set aside their long festering hatred of one another and join forces--as the first male/male figure skating pair to compete in the history of the sport.
TV-14
2:00 am
Movie
Zoolander
The international misadventures of fashion model Derek Zoolander, who is hired to stop a secret cartel of political assassins posing as male models. Derek soon discovers the horrifying secret of why no male models live past the age of thirty. While Derek tries to infiltrate the fashion/assassin clique led by the mean-spirited designer Mugatu, he must also contend with Hansel, a dense, on-the-rise male model who threatens to sabotage his mission--as well as his modeling career.
TV-14
4:00 am
Married With Children
Blonde and Blonder
Kelly's class reunion becomes the scene for an ex-nerd's revenge.
TV-PG
4:30 am
Married With Children
Dud Bowl II
Marcy is determined to keep Polk High's new football scoreboard from being named after Al.
TV-PG
5:00 am
Married With Children
Bearly Men
Al must prove himself a man so his father-in-law will take Peggy's mom back home.
TV-PG
5:30 am
Married With Children
Two That Got Away, The
Bumped from their fishing lodge cabin, Al and Jefferson seek revenge against actress Shannon Tweed.
TV-PG
 

Monday, October 27

6:00 am
Full House
Yours, Mine and Ours
Danny's plans for a fun night out with the family are doomed by the group's bad attitude. Meanwhile, Jesse and Rebecca quarrel over how to raise their twins.
TV-G
6:30 am
Rules of Engagement
Wee Problem, A
TV-PG
7:00 am
Married With Children
I Can't Believe It's Butter
Al forces Peggy's mom to get a job right before Christmas.
TV-PG
7:30 am
Married With Children
Love Conquers Al
Peggy takes Al and her parents to a marriage therapy retreat.
TV-PG
8:00 am
King of Queens, The
Walk, Man
In an effort to spend more time with Carrie, Doug hires someone to take Arthur for a walk three times a week.
TV-PG
8:30 am
King of Queens, The
Friender Bender
Doug hits and damages Deacon and Kelly's car.
TV-PG
9:00 am
Movie
Lara Croft: Tomb Raider
Lara Croft was born into wealth and groomed at the most elite schools. She travels to dangerous and mysterious locales around the globe in search of rare, lost crypts and long-forgotten empires. She speaks numerous languages, is highly trained for combat and answers to no one, obeying only a desire for adventure. But now she must face her greatest challenge yet: to find two halves of an ancient artifact buried in space and time. To possess it means ultimate power for its possessor. But to get there, she must first take on a powerful and dangerous secret society.
TV-14
11:00 am
America's Funniest Home Videos
AFHV #2106
Halloween and 28 monsters in 39 seconds
TV-G
12:00 pm
Cleveland Show, The
Curious Case of Jr. Working at the Stool, The
Cleveland Jr. takes a job at The Broken Stool, where he infuriates his father by establishing rules; Roberta competes with Lacey, a rich high school student.
TV-14
12:30 pm
Cleveland Show, The
Once Upon a Tyne in New York
Cleveland takes Donna to New York City, but ends up spending most of his time bailing out his friends when they get into trouble; Coach McFall tries to reunite with his former love, actress Tyne Daly.
TV-14
1:00 pm
American Dad
Wrestler, The
Stan panics when Barry comes close to toppling his longstanding wrestling record at Steve's school.and ends up teaching Roger how to wrestle so he can defeat Barry.
TV-14
1:30 pm
American Dad
Dr. Klaustus
After tricking Roger into going to Iraq, Klaus assumes the role of the Smiths' psychologist, but his emphasis on emotional honesty backfires.
TV-14
2:00 pm
American Dad
Stan's Best Friend
When Steve's new puppy is gravely injured, Stan attempts to save the dog using a doctor who specializes in alternative medicine.
TV-14
2:30 pm
American Dad
Less Money, Mo' Problems
Stan bets Jeff and Hayley that he and Fran can live on minimum wage for one month; Roger and Steve test-drive a Ferrari after Klaus brags about having driven one.
TV-14
3:00 pm
Robot Chicken
Celebrity Rocket
Mexico builds its greatest hero in The Six Million Peso Man. That old dancing guy from the Six Flags commercials saves-and ruins-the day. Two aliens from Space Invaders revolt. A cleaning woman finds the Batcave the hard way. Lindsay Lohan enters the world of Highlander and battles teen starlet foes.
TV-14
3:15 pm
Robot Chicken
Dragon Nuts
People of all ages love the new toy, Morning Wood! A man's groin is possessed in Idle Nuts. Live in fear when a giant midget attacks! A cleaning woman finds the Batcave the hard way. Atreyu and Falcor kick off a Neverending Party! An evening news broadcast spins out of control.
TV-14
3:30 pm
Childrens Hospital
You Know No One Can Hear You, Right?
The abortion debate is brought into relief by a visit from a prominent Senator (Ed Begley, Jr.); Owen must decide whether he can treat the 10-year-old who beats him daily; Sy finally faces his alcoholism.
TV-14
3:45 pm
Childrens Hospital
Sultan's Finger - LIVE, The
In a special live episode, a visiting Sultan needs emergency surgery; Blake faces a crucial decision about his clown make-up; Glenn cuts off his finger for Valerie.á A surprise ending reveals the shocking the truth about one of the doctors, shattering everyone's perceptions.á SEASON FINALE.
TV-14
4:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One Where Phoebe Runs, The
Chandler learns how obsessively neat Monica is when he attempts to do her a favor. Joey desperately tries not to flirt with his sexy new roommate (ELLE MACPHERSON).
TV-PG
4:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With Ross's Teeth, The
The guys explore their femininity. Phoebe causes trouble when she kisses someone at Rachel's work.
TV-PG
5:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With the Apothecary Table, The
Joey finally dates Janine (ELLE MACPHERSON), but she doesn't like his friends. Rachel worries that Phoebe won't appreciate the way she furnishes their apartment
TV-PG
5:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With The Joke, The
Ross and Chandler bicker over which of them created a raunchy joke. Phoebe antagonizes Monica and Rachel with her candor. Joey reluctantly takes a waiter job at Central Perk.
TV-PG
6:00 pm
Seinfeld
Marine Biologist, The
George poses as a marine biologist; guest Carol Kane.
TV-PG
6:30 pm
Seinfeld
Dinner Party, The
The gang shops for last-minute gifts for a dinner party.
TV-PG
7:00 pm
Seinfeld
Pie, The
A date's refusal to eat pie obsesses Jerry; a mannequin resembles Elaine; guest Lane Davies.
TV-PG
7:30 pm
Seinfeld
Stand-In, The
Kramer is a stand-in on a soap opera; George wants to break up with a girlfriend.
TV-PG
8:00 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Peter Problems
TV-14
8:30 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Brian's a Bad Father
Brian receives a call from his son, Dylan Flannigan, who wants to reconnect with him. At first, Brian is hesitant to meet up, but changes his tune when he discovers Dylan is the star of a new television show.
TV-14
9:00 pm
American Dad
CIAPOW
When Bullock sends a drone to do the job Stan and his colleagues are supposed to do, Stan is determined to prove that humans are better than robots. Meanwhile, Francine and the rest of the family participate in a slow motion race against each other in the living room.
TV-14
9:30 pm
American Dad
Steve and Snot's Test-Tubular Adventure
Stan reveals that the C.I.A. has a cloning machine at work. Steve and Snot decide to use the machine to clone girls so that they will finally have prom dates. The cloning process backfires as the girls emerge as babies.
TV-14
10:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Decoupling Fluctuation, The
When Sheldon learns that Penny is thinking about breaking up with Leonard, he tries to intervene. Meanwhile, Howard is being picked on in space by the other astronauts.
10:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Higgs Boson Observation, The
Amy's nervous when Sheldon hires Alex, a female assistant.
TV-PG
11:00 pm
Conan (CC)
Episode 4640
TV-14
12:00 am
Cougar Town (SAP)
Money Becomes King
Jules and Grayson can't see eye to eye when it comes to joining their finances, but they're both going to have to make some sacrifices if they actually want to get married -- and that is not going to be easy. Meanwhile, Laurie's Krazy Kakes business is doing surprisingly well, and Travis convinces her to make some grown up decisions of her own, on "Cougar Town."
TV-PG
12:30 am
Conan (CC)
Episode 4640
TV-14
1:30 am
Cougar Town (SAP)
Southern Accents
Jules has a hard time accepting that Holly (guest star Briga Heelan) is part of her life, a situation that does not improve after she finds out that Holly and Travis made out; Andy wants to run for mayor so he can change the town rules against weddings on the beach (something Jules has her heart set on), but Ellie won't let him; and Laurie tries to convince Bobby he's just socially inept, not prejudiced, after he blurts out some awkward comments at the cake shop, on "Cougar Town."
TV-PG
2:00 am
Movie
Lara Croft: Tomb Raider
Lara Croft was born into wealth and groomed at the most elite schools. She travels to dangerous and mysterious locales around the globe in search of rare, lost crypts and long-forgotten empires. She speaks numerous languages, is highly trained for combat and answers to no one, obeying only a desire for adventure. But now she must face her greatest challenge yet: to find two halves of an ancient artifact buried in space and time. To possess it means ultimate power for its possessor. But to get there, she must first take on a powerful and dangerous secret society.
TV-14
4:00 am
Married With Children
Hood, the Bud and the Kelly (1), The
To keep Kelly as a client, Bud sets out to produce a sexy exercise video.
TV-PG
4:30 am
Married With Children
Hood, the Bud and the Kelly (2), The
In order to save his life, Bud must finish his exercise video on time.
TV-PG
5:00 am
Married With Children
Calendar Girl
Al uses Bud's class project to beat out a rival shoe store owner.
TV-PG
5:30 am
Married With Children
Spring Break (1)
As Kelly and her friends trick Bud's fraternity out of their spring break in Florida, Al and Griff join Jefferson in Fort Lauderdale to judge a college co-ed beauty contest.
TV-PG
 

Tuesday, October 28

6:00 am
Full House
Trouble with Danny
Danny is thrilled that "Spring Cleaning Day" has arrived! He appoints chores to everyone in the house. When they gather to complain, Danny overhears. He reacts by becoming such a slob that the family asks him to be neat again.
TV-G
6:30 am
Rules of Engagement
100th
TV-PG
7:00 am
Married With Children
Spring Break (2)
As Al prepares to chest to see that Kelly is named Miss Spring Break, Marcy and Bud lead some burned fraternity brothers to Florida for revenge.
TV-PG
7:30 am
Married With Children
Agony and the Extra C, The
A Jefferson anniversary surprise is ruined when a drunken tattoo artist misspells Marcy's name.
TV-PG
8:00 am
King of Queens, The
Mean Streak
Doug tries to break the company record for the largest number of consecutive deliveries.
TV-PG
8:30 am
King of Queens, The
No Retreat
Doug goes with Carrie on her company retreat while Arthur is left to fend for himself at home.
TV-PG
9:00 am
Movie
Daredevil
He dwells in a world of external night--but the blackness is filled with sounds and scents, tastes and textures that most cannot perceive. Although attorney Matt Murdock is blind, his other four senses function with superhuman sharpness. By day, Murdock represents the downtrodden. At night he is Daredevil, a masked vigilante stalking the dark streets of the city, a relentless avenger of justice. For Daredevil justice is blind--and for the guilty, there's hell to pay.
TV-14
11:00 am
America's Funniest Home Videos
AFHV #2107
First $100,000 show of season 21
TV-G
12:00 pm
Cleveland Show, The
Brown Knight, The
Cleveland is mistakenly hailed as a hero after he ends up getting shot in an armed robbery; Rallo discovers what Roberta's "that time of the month" is all about.
TV-14
12:30 pm
Cleveland Show, The
Gone with the Wind
Cleveland's flatulence interrupts a karaoke contest at the Broken Stool, embarrassing Donna no end; Cleveland and Donna have bad news for Cleveland Jr.
TV-14
1:00 pm
American Dad
Kidney Stays in the Picture, The
When Hayley experiences kidney failure, Stan and Fran travel into the past to find the man who may be Hayley's real father.
TV-14
1:30 pm
American Dad
Ricky Spanish
Roger makes amends for the trouble he caused after he adopted a sociopathic persona; Stan and Fran get an unexpected visit from a Nigerian man whom they aided through a relief organization.
TV-14
2:00 pm
American Dad
Toy Whorey
Stan wants Steve to stop playing with toys and be a man, so he brings Steve to Mexico to make love to a prostitute; Roger attempts to retrieve a bottle of wine from Terry and Greg.
TV-14
2:30 pm
American Dad
Love, American Dad Style
Roger (Seth MacFarlane) opens a crooner's bar in the Smith family's attic and recruits Hayley (Rachael MacFarlane) as his main entertainer. Soon, all of Langley Falls becomes enthralled by her singing voice - including Roger, who takes his crush on Hayley a bit too far. Meanwhile, Stan tries to prove his manhood by negotiating a good deal on a new car.
TV-14
3:00 pm
Robot Chicken
Rodiggity
Southern-fried funerals get exciting thanks to Dixie Joe! The Booger Man makes a mess. Frankenstein's in-laws are less than pleased. Order your movie tickets from Fan-Dingo--the paper bags want you to. The cast of Final Fantasy VII get jobs at a burger chain. A young soccer player named Ricky faces life's obstacles. Bugs Bunny goes hip-hop in 8 Carrot.
TV-14
3:15 pm
Robot Chicken
password: Swordfish
Care Bears care a lot-about ethnic cleansing. See the action-packed story of Heimlich and his quest to unblock your windpipe. Rick Schroeder is fighting crime in style in the new hit series Rick Shaw. Ben Affleck sues the AFLAC duck. Corporate disputes get solved hand-to-hand in Office Fighter. Harry Potter uses magic to fight... puberty!
TV-14
3:30 pm
Childrens Hospital
Run Dr. Lola Spratt, Run
When a kid trapped in a trough of quicksand comes into the ER on a Saturday it's up to Sy to wrangle the team back together - because doctors don't work on weekends.
TV-14
3:45 pm
Childrens Hospital
Ward 8
Detective Change Briggs (Nick Offerman) is back and goes undercover in Ward 8, the wing for mentally insane children. áBlake's ex-girlfriend, Britches (Sarah Silverman), comes back and Chief and Glenn have handicapped sex.
TV-14
4:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With Rachel's Sister (Part 1), The
Rachel tries to help her pampered younger sister, Jill (REESE WITHERSPOON), find independence, but Jill flirting with Ross is not part of the plan. Monica won't admit that she is sick.
TV-PG
4:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One Where Chandler Can't Cry (Part 2), The
Rachel's sister Jill (REESE WITHERSPOON) wants Ross, but not for the reasons he thinks. Chandler astounds the others with his inability to express emotions. Is Phoebe starring in pornography LISA KUDROW plays a dual role.
TV-PG
5:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One That Could Have Been (Part 1), The
The friends ponder what might have come to pass if each had taken a different path in life.
TV-14
5:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One That Could Have Been (Part 2), The
In the speculative fantasy, Ross initiates romantic advances with his wife Carol (JANE SIBBETT); Chandler and Monica help each other overcome loneliness; Rachel learns the truth about her husband; and Phoebe sneaks out of the hospital.
TV-14
6:00 pm
Seinfeld
Wife, The
A girlfriend (Courteney Cox) poses as Jerry's wife so he can get a dry-cleaning discount.
TV-PG
6:30 pm
Seinfeld
Fire, The
A kitchen fire makes George confront his cowardliness; guests Melanie Chartoff, Dom Irrera.
TV-PG
7:00 pm
Seinfeld
Opposite, The
George learns success lies in doing the opposite of what he would normally do; guests Dedee Pfeiffer, Regis Philbin, Kathie Lee Gifford; French Stewart.
TV-PG
7:30 pm
Seinfeld
Hamptons, The
Jerry's girlfriend sees George naked during a weekend at the beach.
TV-PG
8:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Re-Entry Minimization, The
Howard returns from space...without the welcome he wanted.
TV-PG
8:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Holographic Excitation, The
The gang celebrates Halloween at Stuart's comic book store. Meanwhile Leonard and Penny discover a new spark in their relationship when he seduces her with science.
TV-PG
9:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Extract Obliteration, The
Sheldon's friendship with renowned scientist STEPHEN HAWKING is threatened by a game of "Words with Friends," while Penny secretly enrolls in a class at the local college.
TV-14
9:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Habitation Configuration, The
Bernadette pressures Howard to move out of his mother's house, while Sheldon finds himself caught in the middle of a fight between Amy and Wil Wheaton.
TV-PG
10:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
43 Peculiarity, The
Howard and Raj try to solve a mystery about Sheldon.
TV-PG
10:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Parking Spot Escalation, The
Sheldon & Howard battle over an assigned parking spot.
TV-14
11:00 pm
Conan (CC)
Episode 4641
TV-14
12:00 am
Cougar Town (SAP)
Down South
A hurricane blows into town, so that means it's time for a hurricane party at Jules' house. But there's more than one storm brewing, as Travis wants to make a play for Laurie, now that she's broken up her Skype romance with soldier Wade (guest star Edwin Hodge), and Jules is determined to keep them apart, on "Cougar Town."
TV-PG
12:30 am
Conan (CC)
Episode 4641
TV-14
1:30 am
Cougar Town (SAP)
Square One
Grayson moves in with Jules after the hurricane damages his house, but the sudden togetherness makes them wonder if they're going to make the same mistakes in their upcoming marriage that they made in their past relationships. Meanwhile, Ellie and Laurie bicker about which of them is the sexiest, dragging Travis into the argument, and Jules and Bobby dare each other to a "white shirt challenge" - to see who can wear the same while shirt longer without spilling something on it -- on "Cougar Town."
TV-PG
2:00 am
Movie
Daredevil
He dwells in a world of external night--but the blackness is filled with sounds and scents, tastes and textures that most cannot perceive. Although attorney Matt Murdock is blind, his other four senses function with superhuman sharpness. By day, Murdock represents the downtrodden. At night he is Daredevil, a masked vigilante stalking the dark streets of the city, a relentless avenger of justice. For Daredevil justice is blind--and for the guilty, there's hell to pay.
TV-14
4:00 am
Married With Children
Turning Japanese
To secure a big promotion at the bank, Marcy must first buy Al's car for her Japanese boss.
TV-PG
4:30 am
Married With Children
Bud Hits the Books
Bud's unauthorized use of the library threatens his graduation.
TV-PG
5:00 am
Married With Children
Al Goes to the Dogs
Al and Marcy clash over a doghouse for Lucky.
TV-PG
5:30 am
Married With Children
Kiss of the Coffee Woman
Al and Marcy object to Kelly and Jefferson's appearing as a couple in a suggestive TV commercial.
TV-PG
 

Wednesday, October 29

6:00 am
Full House
Five's a Crowd
D.J. has a date with one of the popular guys in her school. Fearing the boy will take advantage of D.J., Danny, Joey and Jesse follow her to end the date.
TV-G
6:30 am
Rules of Engagement
Pilot
TV-PG
7:00 am
Married With Children
Enemies
A philandering delivery man's affair with Kelly causes problems with his own suspicious girlfriend.
TV-PG
7:30 am
Married With Children
Torch Song Duet
Al helps Griff win a pair of tickets to the Olympic Games.
TV-PG
8:00 am
King of Queens, The
Oxy Moron
Doug tries to prove to Carrie that he would risk himself to save her.
TV-PG
8:30 am
King of Queens, The
Veiled Threat
A flashback shows Doug and Carrie's wedding day.
TV-PG
9:00 am
Movie
Obsessed
Derek Charles, a successful asset manager who has just received a huge promotion, is blissfully happy in his career and in his marriage to the beautiful Beth. But when Lisa, a temp worker, starts stalking Derek, everything he''s worked so hard for, are placed in jeopardy.
TV-14
11:00 am
America's Funniest Home Videos
AFHV #2108
Stage spotlight: New York and what would a monkey do
TV-G
12:00 pm
Cleveland Show, The
Brotherly Love
Rallo helps Junior as he tries to win the heart of Chanel, a girl he's infatuated with; Cleveland becomes Terry's pimp.
TV-14
12:30 pm
Cleveland Show, The
Brown History Month
After Cleveland and Lester get into a fight during Black History month, a judge orders them to work together on a float for a unity parade; Rallo tries to steal Lester's confederate flag, only to become trapped under Kendra's body.
TV-14
1:00 pm
American Dad
Killer Vacation
The Smith family's tropical vacation turns out to be anything but relaxing when Stan is assigned a mission to kill the activities director at their resort, whom his boss at the CIA insists is an ex-war criminal. Meanwhile, Hayley (Rachael MacFarlane) and Jeff (Jeff Fischer) try to rekindle their fading romance, while Roger, as his latest persona, Abigail Lemonparty, falls for an older gentleman.
TV-14
1:30 pm
American Dad
Can I Be Frank (With You)
Francine dresses up in a man suit so she can spend more time with Stan; Steve forms a boy band with his friends.
TV-14
2:00 pm
American Dad
American Stepdad
Stan invites his mother (guest voice Swoosie Kurtz) to come live with the family after Stan's stepfather dies, and tensions rise when Roger is forced to share his attic with her. But Roger and Stan's mom quickly fall in love and get married, and Stan is forced to deal with Roger as his new stepdad. Meanwhile, Steve and his friends discover a mysterious plane crash while on a bike ride and come across a long-lost script of a "Fast and Furious" movie that they are determined to get made.
TV-14
2:30 pm
American Dad
Why Can't We Be Friends
After concluding that Snot isn't cool enough to hang out with Steve, Stan concocts a scheme to separate the pair by sticking Snot in the Witness Protection Program; Roger gives Steve money to clean out his attic.
TV-14
3:00 pm
Robot Chicken
Metal Militia
Young Young Indiana Jones finds treasure at his elementary school. Rainbow Brite reveals her dark side. Montezuma gets his revenge, and the results smell terrible. Malibu Barbie learns why you don't build your Dream House in Malibu. Rom: Spaceknight meets his ultimate nemesis! Into the Blue gets a relevant skewering. Hulk Hogan busts out of prison camp in Hogan's Heroes.
TV-14
3:15 pm
Robot Chicken
Veggies for Sloth
The classic movie Beastmaster takes Broadway by storm. Mrs. McNallys third-graders present: Tim Burtons The Corpse Bride. Lance Armstrong gets revenge on France. Thrill to the Worlds Most Creative Suicides! Buck Rogers learns what his name rhymes with. A stupid guy learns hes a vampire, and thinks it rocks. The gang from Archie Comics learns that nobody cheats Death for long!
TV-14
3:30 pm
Childrens Hospital
Black Doctor, The
Blake needs a place to stay after his landlord kicks him out for being a clown. Meanwhile, áDr. Brian (Jordan Peele) returns to Childrens Hospital after leaving his job as a consultant on the medical drama 'Black Hospital.' Also, Cat is naked the entire episode.
TV-14
3:45 pm
Childrens Hospital
Home is Where the Hospital Is
Space is getting scarce in the communal apartment and someone needs to move out. Sy deals with his own undesirable living condition.
TV-14
4:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With Unagi, The
Chandler gets into trouble with his homemade gift for Monica. Ross tries to teach martial arts to Rachel and Phoebe. Joey hires a look-alike.
TV-PG
4:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One Where Ross Dates a Student, The
When a fire damages their apartment, Rachel and Phoebe must choose between living temporarily with Joey or Monica. Ross gets into trouble where he teaches.
TV-PG
5:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With Joey's Fridge, The
Ross worries when his student/girlfriend goes on vacation with her wild friends. Meanwhile, Joey's refrigerator breaks down.
TV-PG
5:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E., The
In this episode, primarily composed of clips from earlier shows, Joey auditions for a major television role. But Chandler almost ruins everything.
TV-PG
6:00 pm
Seinfeld
Raincoats, The (Part 1)
Kramer's scheme to sell vintage raincoats backfires; George sells his dad's clothes; guest Judge Reinhold.
TV-PG
6:30 pm
Seinfeld
Raincoats, The (Part 2 )
Kramer's scheme to sell vintage raincoats backfires; George sells his dad's clothes; guest Judge Reinhold.
TV-PG
7:00 pm
Seinfeld
Chaperone, The
Kramer chaperons Jerry's date with a beauty contestant; guest Ian Abercrombie.
TV-PG
7:30 pm
Seinfeld
Big Salad, The
Kramer helps an athlete wanted for a brutal crime flee police; guest Michelle Forbes.
TV-PG
8:00 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Hell Comes to Quahog
Brian and Stewie try to save the town when corporate giant Superstore puts all the local shops out of business.
TV-14
8:30 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Saving Private Brian
Brian and Stewie find themselves in boot camp; Chris and his rock band have a hit with their single ``Evil, Evil Monkey.''
TV-14
9:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Fish Guts Displacement, The
Howard bonds with his father-n-law on a fishing trip.
TV-PG
9:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Santa Simulation, The
Sheldon unwillingly revisits some Christmas memories during a lively game of Dungeons and Dragons, while Raj joins the girls for ladies night out.
TV-14
10:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Egg Salad Equivalency, The
Sheldon is accused of sexual harassment at the University and winds up dragging Leonard, Raj and Howard into the fray.
TV-14
10:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Bakersfield Expedition, The
Leonard's car is stolen when the guys take a road trip to a comic book convention in Bakersfield, dressed as Star Trek characters.
TV-PG
11:00 pm
Conan (CC)
Episode 4642
TV-14
12:00 am
Cougar Town (SAP)
It'll All Work Out
When Jules realizes that the cul-de-sac crew didn't celebrate Thanksgiving together, she decides to celebrate the holiday, even though it's spring. But the family spirit is shattered, in more ways than one, when Little Stan gets his hands on Big Carl and Jules questions Ellie's parenting skills. Meanwhile, Travis struggles to write Jules' wedding vows and asks Bobby and Laurie for help, and Grayson helps a nervous Andy practice for the annual pizza toss for candidates running for mayor, on "Cougar Town."
TV-PG
12:30 am
Conan (CC)
Episode 4642
TV-14
1:30 am
Office, The (SAP)
Shareholder Meeting
Michael brings Dwight, Andy, and Oscar to NYC when he's being recognized at the Dunder Mifflin shareholder meeting as their top manager. Meanwhile, Jim has trouble getting the rest of the staff to believe he has the same authority as Michael.
TV-PG
2:00 am
Movie
Obsessed
Derek Charles, a successful asset manager who has just received a huge promotion, is blissfully happy in his career and in his marriage to the beautiful Beth. But when Lisa, a temp worker, starts stalking Derek, everything he''s worked so hard for, are placed in jeopardy.
TV-14
4:00 am
Married With Children
Joke's on Al, The
Al and Jefferson vie to claim the title of King of Practical Jokes.
TV-PG
4:30 am
Married With Children
Stepford Peg, The
Peggy's amnesia allows Al to mold her into the perfect wife.
TV-PG
5:00 am
Married With Children
Children of the Corns
Al and Griff try to blackmail their sweatshop-owning boss for a raise.
TV-PG
5:30 am
Married With Children
Twisted
A killer storm strikes, leaving the Bundys and D'Arcys sharing a basement shelter.
TV-PG
 

Thursday, October 30

6:00 am
Full House
Girls Will Be Boys
A boy in Michelle's class calls Teddy a sissy for being Michelle's friend. Michelle talks to Jesse about the difference between boys and girls and starts acting like a miniature version of Jesse.
TV-G
6:30 am
Rules of Engagement
Birthday Deal, The
TV-PG
7:00 am
Married With Children
Grime and Punishment
When he starts charging Bud rent, Al is confined to the basement until he makes some much-needed repairs.
TV-PG
7:30 am
Married With Children
Crimes Against Obesity
As he's trying to celebrate his birthday, Al is put on trial by a group of obese women.
TV-PG
8:00 am
King of Queens, The
Ticker Treat
Doug's Halloween decorations frighten Arthur into a minor heart attack.
TV-PG
8:30 am
King of Queens, The
Lyin' Hearted
Doug encounters one of his delivery customers while accompanying Arthur to the hospital.
TV-PG
9:00 am
Movie
My Best Friend's Girl
Tank (Dane Cook) faces the ultimate test of friendship when his best friend (Jason Biggs) hires him to take his ex-girlfriend (Kate Hudson) out on a lousy date in order to make her realize how great her former boyfriend is.
TV-14
11:00 am
America's Funniest Home Videos
AFHV #2109
Golden oldies and bird brains
TV-G
12:00 pm
Cleveland Show, The
Cleveland's Angels
After Cleveland gambles away money meant for Roberta's college fund, Kendra, Donna and Arianna embark on a mission to retrieve the money from a crooked riverboat casino.
TV-14
12:30 pm
Cleveland Show, The
You're the Best Man, Cleveland Brown!
Freight Train and Cookie announce their plans to re-marry; Cleveland is chosen to be best man...until he's replaced by Donna's ex-husband; Cleveland Jr. offers to pay for the wedding ceremony after he inherits money from his mother.
TV-14
1:00 pm
American Dad
Adventures in Hayleysitting
The Smith family's regular babysitter, Lindsay (guest voice Alison Brie), breaks her leg in a soccer match, so Stan and Francine are forced to leave Steve with Hayley, despite her track record of being extremely irresponsible. When Hayley teases Steve about being a goody-two-shoes, Steve is determined to prove her wrong and sneaks out of the house to go to a party with the cool kids.
TV-14
1:30 pm
American Dad
National Treasure 4: Baby Franny: She's Doing Well: The Hole Story
A Langley Falls talk show outs Francine as "Baby Franny," the toddler who was once rescued from a well by a heroic fireman (guest voice Will Forte). Then, on the anniversary of her rescue, she falls down the well again and makes a shocking discovery. Meanwhile, Stan and Roger have an entrepreneurial "eureka!" moment when they think of the world's next game-changing business opportunity - male stripper shoes.
TV-14
2:00 pm
American Dad
Finger Lenting Good
Francine asks her family to give up their vices for Lent or risk losing a finger.
TV-14
2:30 pm
American Dad
Adventures of Twill Ongenbone and His Boy Jabari, The
Francine tries to teach Roger the value of hard work after he fakes a masters degree and buys an Oscar. Steve interviews Stan for a personal history assignment at school.
TV-14
3:00 pm
Robot Chicken
Sausage Fest
Li'l Hitler will win your heart! The Library of Heaven yields answers even God doesn't want you to know. The Burger King serves up some delicious B&E. Garfield and Heathcliff take each other to court. A giraffe deals with the stages of death. Action Jackson endorses laundry detergent. Never pick up a hitchhiking pig! The gang from Police Academy joins the X-Men.
TV-14
3:15 pm
Robot Chicken
Drippy Pony
Learn the secret life of Batman villain the Penguin. Kids will love playing with My Stalker! Orlando Bloom must help his fellow passengers survive after a plane crash. Meet Cork, the world's greatest retarded detective! Jesus and the Argonauts find action and adventure, and turn their backs on it. The Micronauts climb a mountain. The U.S. government declares war on Christmas.
TV-14
3:30 pm
Childrens Hospital
Nip/Tug
Pediatric Plastic Surgeon, Tug Spano, arrives at Childrens Hospital while Max Von Sydow mixes up babies in the Maternity Ward and Glenn and Owen take a walk to get a snack.
TV-14
3:45 pm
Childrens Hospital
70's Episode, The
Dr. Richie is back from killing babies in `Nam. áLola wants to be a lady doctor and Dr. Brian is just doin' what he does. á
TV-14
4:00 pm
The Carbonaro Effect
Got the Bug Out
Posing as a technician, Michael literally "gets the bug out" of a customer's phone and has him convinced it was in there all along. Then, as a seemingly ordinary bartender, he makes patrons fall for a never-ending beer bottle and a shot that breaks the laws of physics. Plus, he infiltrates an office and has gullible coworkers believing that he can freeze-dry animals and reanimate them.
TV-PG
4:30 pm
The Carbonaro Effect
Problem with Chocolate Turtles and Seeds, A
Posing as a cashier, Michael makes a shopper's face appear on a milk carton and tries to convince her that she really is a missing person. Then, in a shipping store he has customers believing that impossible technology of the future has arrived, like a bowling ball that can be mailed in a flat box. Plus, he has a hotel guest questioning her identity when he swaps her ID, and stumps a valet when he does a disappearing act from his car.
TV-14
5:00 pm
The Carbonaro Effect
Waddle, A Scratch..., A
Posing as a thrift store employee, Michael makes shoppers believe that a real waddling duck is just a lifelike decoy, and confuses clerks with a never-ending chain of hangers. Then, he convinces liquor store customers that some corks are made of cheese and a wine can freeze on command. Plus, in a museum he shocks a gullible new employee by destroying a priceless piece then impossibly reconstructing it.
TV-14
5:30 pm
The Carbonaro Effect
Just Smash It Out
Michael convinces car wash patrons that he broke their window, only to miraculously fix it with the push of a button. Then, dry cleaning customers are confused when Michael is suddenly wearing their clothes in the blink of an eye. Plus, he has pet store shoppers convinced that theyÆre seeing multiple fish in an empty water bowl.
TV-14
6:00 pm
Seinfeld
Pledge Drive, The
Jerry cashes old birthday checks from his grandmother.
TV-PG
6:30 pm
Seinfeld
Chinese Woman, The
George's crossed phone lines acquaint the gang with a woman who isn't what she seems.
TV-PG
7:00 pm
Seinfeld
Couch, The
Elaine dates the guy who delivered Jerry's new couch.
TV-PG
7:30 pm
Seinfeld
Gymnast, The
Elaine must substitute for her boss in a merger deal; a girlfriend's mom sees George eating out of the trash; guest Maurice Godin.
TV-PG
8:00 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Whistle While Your Wife Works
When Peter's boss (Carrie Fisher) tells him he needs to pick up the pace, Lois goes to the brewery to help him.
TV-14
8:30 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Prick Up Your Ears
Lois volunteers to teach a sex-ed class at the high school when she learns that Chris has some incorrect information on the subject.
TV-14
9:00 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Chick Cancer
Stewie marries his old friend Olivia; Lois introduces Peter to chick flicks.
TV-14
9:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Cooper, The/Kripke Inversion
Outraged that he's being forced to work with his university nemesis, Barry Kripke (guest star JOHN ROSS BOWIE), Sheldon faces a crisis of conscience.
TV-14
10:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Spoiler Alert Segmentation, The
When Sheldon and Leonard fight, it affects Penny and Amy's living arrangements. Meanwhile, Raj takes care of Mrs. Wolowitz while Howard is away.
TV-14
10:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Tangible Affection Proof, The
Sheldon struggles to find a Valentine's gift for Amy.
TV-14
11:00 pm
Conan (CC)
Episode 4643
TV-14
12:00 am
Cougar Town (SAP)
My Life/Your World (Part 1 of 2)
"My Life/Your World" -- When Grayson complains that he's living the movie "Groundhog Day" because the gang shows up at the same time every day at Jules' house, Jules asks for a "Groundhog Day"-themed bachelorette party so that Ellie and Laurie can explain the movie to her. Then, fed up with the lack of privacy, Grayson convinces Jules to elope to Napa . . . but the cul de sac crew happily tags along, on "Cougar Town." David Arquette guest stars as a hotel concierge who'll go to great (and possibly illegal) lengths to help the wine wedding go off without a hitch.
TV-PG
12:30 am
Conan (CC)
Episode 4643
TV-14
1:30 am
Office, The (SAP)
Scott's Tots
A decade-old promise to pay college tuition for a bunch of children comes back to haunt Michael. With rumors of Dunder Mifflin going under dragging down the staff, Jim hopes an Employee of the Month award will raise spirits, unaware it's a ploy by Dwight to get him fired.
TV-PG
2:00 am
Movie
Source Code
When decorated soldier Captain Colter Stevens wakes up in the body of an unknown man, he discovers he's part of a mission to find the bomber of a Chicago commuter train. In an assignment unlike any he's ever known, he learns he's part of a government experiment called the "Source Code," a program that enables him to cross over into another man's identity in the last 8 minutes of his life. With a second, much larger target threatening to kill millions in downtown Chicago, Colter re-lives the incident over and over again, gathering clues each time, until he can solve the mystery of who is behind the bombs and prevent the next attack.
TV-14
4:00 am
Married With Children
Kelly's Gotta Habit
As Kelly agrees to give up sex for a big TV commercial, Al teams with Officer Dan for an appearance on Cops.
TV-PG
4:30 am
Married With Children
Requiem for a Chevyweight (1)
Al struggles to find a part for his ailing car.
TV-PG
5:00 am
Married With Children
Juggs Have Left the Building, The
Peggy and Kelly team up as a singing duo for a talent contest in Branson, Missouri.
TV-PG
5:30 am
Married With Children
Requiem for a Chevyweight (2)
Following the death of his Dodge, Al sets out to get a new car.
TV-PG
 

Friday, October 31

6:00 am
Full House
Captain Video (Part 1)
Michelle joins the "Honey-Bees" and to the family's dismay tries to earn her first badge in cooking. When the TV station terminates Jesse as Joey's sidekick, Jesse decides to put all his effort into his music career--with no success, however, until the Beach Boys offer him exclusive rights to one of their songs.
TV-G
6:30 am
Rules of Engagement
Young and the Restless
TV-PG
7:00 am
Married With Children
Bud on the Side
Al's boss falls in love with Bud.
TV-PG
7:30 am
Married With Children
Bundy Thanksgiving, A
An untimely death threatens Al's Thanksgiving tradition; Kelly tries to a pet turkey from becoming a holiday dinner.
TV-PG
8:00 am
King of Queens, The
Depo Man
Carrie asks Doug to be an expert witness at her boss's trial.
TV-PG
8:30 am
King of Queens, The
Life Sentence
Doug sets up a camera in the basement to monitor Arthur.
TV-PG
9:00 am
Movie
Envy
Tim and Nick are best friends, neighbors and co-workers, whose equal footing is suddenly tripped up when one of Nick's hare-brained get-rich-quick schemes actually succeeds: the Vaporizer, a spray that literally makes dog poop, or any other kind for that matter, evaporate into thin air--to where, exactly, is anyone's guess. Tim, who had scoffed at Nick's idea and passed on an opportunity to get in on the deal, can only watch as Nick's fortune--and Tim's own envy--grow to equally outrageous proportions. When the flames of jealousy are fanned by an oddball drifter who imposes himself into the situation, Tim's life careens wildly out of control, taking Nick's with it.
TV-PG
11:00 am
America's Funniest Home Videos
AFHV #2110
Christmas 2010
TV-G
12:00 pm
Cleveland Show, The
Harder, Better, Faster, Browner
Cleveland helps ignite the career of a struggling rapper after the pair produce a new hit single.
TV-14
12:30 pm
Cleveland Show, The
Cleveland Live!
In this "live" broadcast of "The Cleveland Show," complications ensue when Cleveland and Donna attempt to celebrate their anniversary.
TV-14
1:00 pm
American Dad
Blood Crieth Unto Heaven
In a tribute to and send-up of the Pulitzer Prize-winning play, "August: Osage County," a dark secret is revealed about the Smith family's past when Francine invites Stan's incarcerated dad, Jack, to Stan's birthday party. Also in this spoof, Roger plays Edna, a maid who nurses Bullock and Hayley's love child. But when Edna falls in love with Bullock, it could mean dire consequences for the kid.
TV-14
1:30 pm
American Dad
Max Jets
Roger (Seth MacFarlane) announces that "Max Jets," a character of Roger's who enjoys showering the Smith family with money, is soon getting out of prison. But a wrench is thrown in the system when Max falls in love with Gina (Michelle Monaghan), a gold-digging waitress who threatens the family's inheritance.
TV-14
2:00 pm
American Dad
Naked to the Limit, One More Time
Roger pretends to be Jeff's imaginary friend, so he can freely roam naked around the house with no disguise. But when big-mouth Jeff figures out that Roger is an alien, Stan issues an ultimatum: either Roger or Jeff must be killed immediately. Meanwhile, Steve becomes insecure about the shape of his rear end.
TV-14
2:30 pm
American Dad
For Black Eyes Only
In Part 2 of "The Tearjerker Saga," a "James Bond" parody, Stan and his wife, Sexpun Tocome's honeymoon is brutally interrupted when Black Villain (guest voice Kevin Michael Richardson) fatally shoots Sexpun. Determined to get his revenge, Stan teams up with former nemesis The Tearjerker to track down Black Villain and put a stop to his evil plan to melt the arctic glaciers.
TV-14
3:00 pm
Robot Chicken
Lust for Puppets
The creators imagine how Babar might rule with an iron tusk, where O.J. might search for his ex-wife's killer and what Skynet might send back as their next Terminator, plus check out the latest superhero movie.
TV-14
3:15 pm
Robot Chicken
Anne Marie's Pride
Mr. T and the Foo Fighters forge an unlikely alliance. Stretch Armstrong needs a corn syrup transplant. A mermaid shows a surface boy the wonders of Atlantis. A guy dates his GPS navigational system. Learn the untold origin of Alvin and the Chipmunks! Roger Ebert and guest reviewer M. Night Shyamalan present upcoming feature films, including Schindler's List 2: Schindler's Pissed.
TV-14
3:30 pm
Childrens Hospital
Father's Day
It's Fathers Day at Childrens Hospital and Lola and Brian are determined to finding Cat's estranged father. Meanwhile the other doctors wait on a prisoner to be executed so they can use his black heart for a transplant.
TV-14
3:45 pm
Childrens Hospital
Stryker Bites the Dust
After the untimely death of beloved Dr. Brock Striker (Rob Riggle), Sy orders the entire staff to undergo counseling before they can practice medicine again.
TV-14
4:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With the Proposal (Part 1), The
Chandler plans to propose to Monica.
TV-PG
4:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With the Proposal (Part 2), The
Monica asks Chandler to be her husband.
TV-PG
5:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With the Fake Monica, The
Monica meets a woman who helps her live out her fantasies. Ross' pet monkey becomes sexually mature and makes everyone crazy.
TV-PG
5:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With the Ick Factor, The
Monica finds out more than she wants to know about her latest love. Chandler's friends at work treat him differently since his promotion. Ross' ex-wife begins giving birth.
TV-PG
6:00 pm
Seinfeld
Soup, The
Jerry regrets accepting a designer suit from an obnoxious comedian (Stephen Hytner).
TV-PG
6:30 pm
Seinfeld
Secretary, The
A new secretary's efficiency arouses George; Jerry spots a dry cleaner wearing his clothes.
TV-PG
7:00 pm
Seinfeld
Switch, The
Kramer's mom (Sheree North) reveals her son's name to George; guest Terry Sweeney.
TV-PG
7:30 pm
Seinfeld
Race, The
An ex-classmate questions Jerry's status as the fastest runner in high school; guest Vicki Lewis.
TV-PG
8:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Middle Earth Paradigm, The
Penny hosts a Halloween party, putting Leonard, Sheldon, Wolowitz, and Koothrappali through a new test of their social skills.
TV-PG
8:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Good Guy Fluctuation, The
Sheldon tries to spook his friends on Halloween.
TV-14
9:00 pm
Deal With It
Happy Howie-ween with Ross Matthews & Bobby Lee
FOOTBALL: This contestant has football on the brain and decides to kick off the new season while her friend watches from the sideline. Co-host: Bobby Lee. CHAMPAGNE PROBLEMS: After faking a foot injury, a contestant enlists the help of a friend, then offers a thank-you with a face full of foot. Co-host: Ross Matthews.
9:30 pm
Movie (DVS)
Zombieland
Two men have found a way to survive a world overrun by zombies. Columbus is a big wuss - but when you're afraid of being eaten by zombies, fear can keep you alive. Tallahassee is an AK-totin', zombie-slayin' badass whose single determination is to get the last Twinkie on earth. As they join forces with Wichita and Little Rock, who have also found unique ways to survive the zombie mayhem, they will have to determine which is worse: relying on each other or succumbing to the zombies.
TV-14
11:30 pm
Deal With It
Happy Howie-ween with Ross Matthews & Bobby Lee
FOOTBALL: This contestant has football on the brain and decides to kick off the new season while her friend watches from the sideline. Co-host: Bobby Lee. CHAMPAGNE PROBLEMS: After faking a foot injury, a contestant enlists the help of a friend, then offers a thank-you with a face full of foot. Co-host: Ross Matthews.
12:00 am
Movie
Spider-Man
Orphaned at an early age, Peter Parker lives in Queens, New York with his beloved Aunt May and Uncle Ben. Peter leads the life of a normal student, working as a photographer at the school paper, pining after the beautiful Mary Jane Watson and hanging out with buddy Harry Osborn. On a school trip, during which Peter and his classmates are given a science demonstration on arachnids, Peter is bitten by a genetically-altered spider. Soon after, he discovers that he has unusual powers: he is endowed with the strength and agility of a spider along with a keen, ESP-like "spider-sense." Peter first uses his powers to make money, but in the face of a tragedy that hits close to home, he vows to dedicate his life to fighting crime, taking to heart the words of his beloved Uncle Ben: "With great power comes great responsibility." Meanwhile, megalomaniacal businessman Norman Osborn, Harry's father, is undergoing some changes of his own. An experimental formula has gone awry, increasing his intelligence and strength but also driving him insane. He is now the Green Goblin, Spider-Man's arch enemy, who will put young Peter Parker's vow to fight crime and help innocent people to the ultimate test.
TV-PG
2:30 am
Movie (DVS)
Zombieland
Two men have found a way to survive a world overrun by zombies. Columbus is a big wuss - but when you're afraid of being eaten by zombies, fear can keep you alive. Tallahassee is an AK-totin', zombie-slayin' badass whose single determination is to get the last Twinkie on earth. As they join forces with Wichita and Little Rock, who have also found unique ways to survive the zombie mayhem, they will have to determine which is worse: relying on each other or succumbing to the zombies.
TV-14
4:30 am
Married With Children
Live Nude Peg
Al falls in love with a stripper, unaware that she's actually his wife.
TV-PG
5:00 am
Married With Children
God Help Ye Merry Bundymen
As Al and Griff lose their jobs on Christmas Eve, Marcy and Jefferson's entry in a neighborhood contest is sabotaged by Kelly and Bud.
TV-PG
5:30 am
Married With Children
T*R*A*S*H
Al and Griff join Jefferson in the National Guard.
TV-PG
 

Saturday, November 1

6:00 am
Married With Children
Babe in Toyland, A
Kelly becomes a prima donna after being asked to fill in on a popular children's television program.
TV-PG
6:30 am
Married With Children
Breaking Up Is Easy to Do (1)
A party game sends Al and Peggy to a marriage counselor; Kelly squares off in the boxing ring against a rival actress.
TV-PG
7:00 am
Married With Children
Breaking Up Is Easy to Do (2)
When Al moves out, he and Peggy throw themselves into the singles scene, with widely different results.
TV-PG
7:30 am
Married With Children
Breaking Up Is Easy to Do (3)
While Al finds single life dismal, Peggy tries to land a new husband.
TV-PG
8:00 am
King of Queens, The
Double Downer
Doug spoils Carrie's plans for a romantic weekend when he organizes an outing to Atlantic City -- and his boss ends up joining them.
TV-PG
8:30 am
King of Queens, The
Ovary Action
Holiday visitors interrupt Doug and Carrie's attempt to conceive.
TV-PG
9:00 am
King of Queens, The
Food Fight
Carrie grows jealous when Spence's girlfriend (Christine Nelson) recruits Doug to test her culinary homework.
TV-PG
9:30 am
Movie
Journey to the Center of the Earth
No one believes that Trevor Anderson is on to something. The science professor's unconventional hypotheses have put him on the fringe of the academic community. But during an expedition in Iceland, Trevor and his teenage nephew, Sean, accompanied by their beautiful local guide, Hannah, make a breakthrough discovery that launches them on a thrilling adventure into the unknown. As their journey takes them deep beneath the Earth's surface, they travel through never-before-seen worlds that bring them face-to-face with surreal and unimaginable creatures, stretching the bounds of the visionary scientist's own imagination.
TV-PG
11:15 am
Movie
Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time
Set in 9th century Persia, an adventurous young prince uncovers a dangerous artifact in a remote mountain kingdom. With the help of a rival princess, he must stop a despot from unleashing a sandstorm that could destroy all mankind.
TV-PG
1:30 pm
Movie
Spider-Man
Orphaned at an early age, Peter Parker lives in Queens, New York with his beloved Aunt May and Uncle Ben. Peter leads the life of a normal student, working as a photographer at the school paper, pining after the beautiful Mary Jane Watson and hanging out with buddy Harry Osborn. On a school trip, during which Peter and his classmates are given a science demonstration on arachnids, Peter is bitten by a genetically-altered spider. Soon after, he discovers that he has unusual powers: he is endowed with the strength and agility of a spider along with a keen, ESP-like "spider-sense." Peter first uses his powers to make money, but in the face of a tragedy that hits close to home, he vows to dedicate his life to fighting crime, taking to heart the words of his beloved Uncle Ben: "With great power comes great responsibility." Meanwhile, megalomaniacal businessman Norman Osborn, Harry's father, is undergoing some changes of his own. An experimental formula has gone awry, increasing his intelligence and strength but also driving him insane. He is now the Green Goblin, Spider-Man's arch enemy, who will put young Peter Parker's vow to fight crime and help innocent people to the ultimate test.
TV-PG
4:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One Where Heckles Dies, The
The downstairs neighbor dies and bequeaths his strange possessions to Monica and Rachel.
TV-PG
4:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With Phoebe's Husband, The
Everyone is surprised when Phoebe's husband shows up.
TV-PG
5:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With Five Steaks And an Eggplant, The
The friends want to give Ross a birthday party but disagree about money. Monica gets promoted and learns a tough lesson.
TV-PG
5:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With Monica's Thunder, The
Monica excitedly reveals her good news to everyone, but Rachel and Ross upstage her. Chandler has trouble making love.
TV-PG
6:00 pm
Everybody Loves Raymond (SAP)
Family Bed, The
Ally's nightmares keep everybody awake.
TV-PG
6:30 pm
Everybody Loves Raymond (SAP)
Good Girls
Marie prefers Robert's girlfriend to Debra.
TV-PG
7:00 pm
Everybody Loves Raymond (SAP)
T-Ball
Debra fights with a T-ball parent about unhealthy snacks.
TV-PG
7:30 pm
Everybody Loves Raymond (SAP)
Traffic School
Robert uses a ventriloquist's dummy to enliven his traffic-school classes.
TV-PG
8:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Monster Isolation, The
Raj vows never to leave his apartment after a horrible date.
TV-PG
8:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Contractual Obligation Implementation, The
Leonard, Sheldon and Howard try to advance the cause of women in science by speaking with junior high girls about their future careers, while Raj plans his date with Lucy.
TV-PG
9:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Closet Reconfiguration, The
To open or not to open When Howard finds a letter from his father, he's forced to confront his past. And Leonard and Penny throw a "grown-up" cocktail party at the apartment.
TV-PG
9:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Tenure Turbulence, The
Leonard, Sheldon and Raj fight for tenure at the University.
TV-14
10:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Closure Alternative, The
After one of his favorite TV shows gets canceled too soon, Sheldon feels lost, so Amy tries to help him get over his compulsive need for closure by retraining his brain.
TV-PG
10:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Proton Resurgence, The
Leonard and Sheldon hire Professor Proton (guest star BOB NEWHART), the host of their favorite childhood TV show to perform. Raj leaves his dog with Howard and Bernadette.
TV-PG
11:00 pm
Deal With It
Happy Howie-ween with Ross Matthews & Bobby Lee
FOOTBALL: This contestant has football on the brain and decides to kick off the new season while her friend watches from the sideline. Co-host: Bobby Lee. CHAMPAGNE PROBLEMS: After faking a foot injury, a contestant enlists the help of a friend, then offers a thank-you with a face full of foot. Co-host: Ross Matthews.
11:30 pm
Fake Off
Art of the Fake, The
The Art Of The Fake: The next generation talent show has arrived, as ten teams of performers go head-to-head recreating iconic pop culture moments. Judges Harry Shum Jr. (Glee), Michael Curry (Cirque du Soleil) and Chilli (TLC) lead the way! Kicking off the season, a video-mapping troupe reinvents the worldÆs most infamous shipwreck, skilled street dancers pop-n-lock with classic video game characters, and a theater troupe hits the gridiron to ôfakeö the biggest football game of the year.
12:30 am
Movie (DVS)
Meet the Fockers
Now that Greg Focker is "in" with his soon-to-be in-laws, Jack and Dina Byrnes, it looks like smooth sailing for him and his fiancée, Pam. But that''s before Pam''s parents meet Greg''s parents, Bernie and Roz Focker. The hyper-relaxed Fockers and the tightly-wound Byrneses are woefully mismatched from the start, and no matter how hard Greg and Pam try, there is just no bringing their families together.
TV-14
2:00 am
Movie
Heartbreak Kid, The
After years of bachelorhood and ample pressure from his father, Doc, and best friend Mac, Eddie Cantrow starts to wonder if he is being too picky about the women he meets. So when a chance encounter with an alluring blonde named Lila leads to a sweet romance, Eddie impulsively proposes. But right after the wedding, as the newlyweds get to know each other on the drive down the California coast, Eddie begins to realize he's made a terrible mistake. Soon after reaching their exotic Mexican hideaway, he falls for the down-to-earth Miranda, who has no clue he's on his honeymoon. Now Eddie has to find a way to extricate himself from his days-old marriage without losing the girl of his dreams.
TV-14
4:15 am
TBS Network Preview
Episode 1
A backstage peek at TBS's original programs.
4:30 am
Married With Children
Taxing Problem
About to be audited by the IRS, Al has to come up with a quick five grand and decides to sell Peggy's hair.
TV-PG
5:00 am
Married With Children
You Gotta Know When to Fold 'Em (1)
About to be audited by the IRS, Al has to come up with a quick five grand and decides to sell Peggy's hair.
TV-PG
5:30 am
Married With Children
Birthday Boy Toy
As Jefferson's worries about getting old force him into taking a job, Al tries to cure Peggy's shopping addiction.
TV-PG
 

Sunday, November 2

6:00 am
Married With Children
Damn Bundys
Al sells his soul for a chance to play in the Super Bowl.
TV-PG
6:30 am
King of Queens, The
Dougie Nights
Doug starts club-hopping with newly single Deacon.
TV-PG
7:00 am
King of Queens, The
No Orleans
Doug and Carrie sneak off to New Orleans without Doug's cousins.
TV-PG
7:30 am
Friends (SAP)
One With the Birth, The
When Carol gives birth, Ross and Susan almost miss the event. Joey befriends an unmarried pregnant woman.
TV-PG
8:00 am
Friends (SAP)
One Where Rachel Finds Out, The
Rachel finds out about Ross' secret love for her -- but another surprise awaits her.
TV-PG
8:30 am
Friends (SAP)
One With Ross's New Girlfriend, The
Rachel gets an unpleasant surprise when Ross returns home. Phoebe has varied success cutting the friends' hair.
TV-14
9:00 am
Friends (SAP)
One With the Breast Milk, The
Phoebe unwittingly disgusts everybody. Joey competes with a fellow salesman.
TV-PG
9:30 am
Movie (DVS)
Paul Blart: Mall Cop
A single, suburban dad tries to make ends meet as a security officer at a New Jersey mall. It''s a job he takes very seriously, though no one else does. When Santa''s helpers at the mall stage a coup, shutting down the megaplex and taking hostages (Paul''s daughter and sweetheart among them), Jersey''s most formidable mall cop will have to become a real cop to save the day.
TV-PG
11:30 am
Movie
You, Me and Dupree
Carl and Molly have found the one unfortunate hitch in their perfectly constructed newly wedded world: Dupree. A slacker with the soul of a poet, Dupree just can''t seem to catch a break from "The Man." When he takes a week off to go be the best-man at Carl and Molly''s wedding in Hawaii, Dupree gets the unceremonious heave-ho from his boss. Now jobless, car-less and evicted from the cot at his favorite watering hole, he just needs to crash with the Petersons for a couple of days; okay, maybe a month or so. At first, Carl is psyched to have the couch guest while Molly bears the brunt of Dupree''s well-meaning antics. But, as Carl becomes buried in his grown-up job of land development and headaches, he finds it hard to juggle Dupree and his newlywed responsibilities. As time passes, his and Molly''s houseguest uses his ample spare time to become a great companion to her, underscoring Carl''s new workaholic tendencies. Even Molly''s dad begins to fall for Dupree''s carefree wisdom, frustrating Carl to no end. Soon, everyone--but Carl--begins to root for Dupree to stick around. But just as the impish buddy starts becoming a fixture in the Petersons'' home, three becomes not just a crowd, but a full-blown comic catastrophe. As the couple realizes their ideas of a white-picket fence marriage are morphing, their loveable pal serves as a daily reminder that finding your inner Dupree might just be one of life''s hidden secrets
TV-14
1:45 pm
Movie (DVS)
Hall Pass
Rick and Fred are best friends who have a lot in common, including the fact that they have each been married for many years. But when the two men begin to show signs of restlessness at home, their wives take a bold approach to revitalizing their marriages: granting them a "hall pass," one week of freedom to do whatever they want...no questions asked. At first, it sounds like a dream come true for Rick and Fred. But it isn't long before they discover that their expectations of the single life--and themselves--are completely, and hilariously, out of sync with reality.
TV-14
3:45 pm
Movie
Heartbreak Kid, The
After years of bachelorhood and ample pressure from his father, Doc, and best friend Mac, Eddie Cantrow starts to wonder if he is being too picky about the women he meets. So when a chance encounter with an alluring blonde named Lila leads to a sweet romance, Eddie impulsively proposes. But right after the wedding, as the newlyweds get to know each other on the drive down the California coast, Eddie begins to realize he's made a terrible mistake. Soon after reaching their exotic Mexican hideaway, he falls for the down-to-earth Miranda, who has no clue he's on his honeymoon. Now Eddie has to find a way to extricate himself from his days-old marriage without losing the girl of his dreams.
TV-14
6:00 pm
Movie (DVS)
Meet the Fockers
Now that Greg Focker is "in" with his soon-to-be in-laws, Jack and Dina Byrnes, it looks like smooth sailing for him and his fiancée, Pam. But that''s before Pam''s parents meet Greg''s parents, Bernie and Roz Focker. The hyper-relaxed Fockers and the tightly-wound Byrneses are woefully mismatched from the start, and no matter how hard Greg and Pam try, there is just no bringing their families together.
TV-14
8:00 pm
Network Television Premiere (DVS)
Crazy, Stupid, Love
At fortysomething, straight-laced Cal Weaver is living the dream - good job, nice house, great kids and marriage to his high school sweetheart. But when Cal learns that his wife, Emily, has cheated on him and wants a divorce, his "perfect" life quickly unravels. Worse, in today's single world, Cal, who hasn't dated in decades, stands out as the epitome of un-smooth. Now spending his free evenings sulking alone at a local bar, the hapless Cal is taken on as wingman and protege to handsome, thirtysomething player Jacob Palmer. In an effort to help Cal get over his wife and start living his life, Jacob opens Cal's eyes to the many options before him: flirty women, manly drinks and a sense of style that can't be found at Supercuts or The Gap. Cal and Emily aren't the only ones looking for love in what might be all the wrong places: Cal's 13-year-old son, Robbie, is crazy about his 17-year-old babysitter, Jessica, who harbors a crush on Cal. And despite Cal's makeover and his many new conquests, the one thing that can't be made over is his heart, which seems to keep leading him back to where he began.
TV-14
10:30 pm
Network Television Premiere (DVS)
Crazy, Stupid, Love
At fortysomething, straight-laced Cal Weaver is living the dream - good job, nice house, great kids and marriage to his high school sweetheart. But when Cal learns that his wife, Emily, has cheated on him and wants a divorce, his "perfect" life quickly unravels. Worse, in today's single world, Cal, who hasn't dated in decades, stands out as the epitome of un-smooth. Now spending his free evenings sulking alone at a local bar, the hapless Cal is taken on as wingman and protege to handsome, thirtysomething player Jacob Palmer. In an effort to help Cal get over his wife and start living his life, Jacob opens Cal's eyes to the many options before him: flirty women, manly drinks and a sense of style that can't be found at Supercuts or The Gap. Cal and Emily aren't the only ones looking for love in what might be all the wrong places: Cal's 13-year-old son, Robbie, is crazy about his 17-year-old babysitter, Jessica, who harbors a crush on Cal. And despite Cal's makeover and his many new conquests, the one thing that can't be made over is his heart, which seems to keep leading him back to where he began.
TV-14
1:00 am
Movie (DVS)
Hall Pass
Rick and Fred are best friends who have a lot in common, including the fact that they have each been married for many years. But when the two men begin to show signs of restlessness at home, their wives take a bold approach to revitalizing their marriages: granting them a "hall pass," one week of freedom to do whatever they want...no questions asked. At first, it sounds like a dream come true for Rick and Fred. But it isn't long before they discover that their expectations of the single life--and themselves--are completely, and hilariously, out of sync with reality.
TV-14
3:00 am
Movie
You, Me and Dupree
Carl and Molly have found the one unfortunate hitch in their perfectly constructed newly wedded world: Dupree. A slacker with the soul of a poet, Dupree just can''t seem to catch a break from "The Man." When he takes a week off to go be the best-man at Carl and Molly''s wedding in Hawaii, Dupree gets the unceremonious heave-ho from his boss. Now jobless, car-less and evicted from the cot at his favorite watering hole, he just needs to crash with the Petersons for a couple of days; okay, maybe a month or so. At first, Carl is psyched to have the couch guest while Molly bears the brunt of Dupree''s well-meaning antics. But, as Carl becomes buried in his grown-up job of land development and headaches, he finds it hard to juggle Dupree and his newlywed responsibilities. As time passes, his and Molly''s houseguest uses his ample spare time to become a great companion to her, underscoring Carl''s new workaholic tendencies. Even Molly''s dad begins to fall for Dupree''s carefree wisdom, frustrating Carl to no end. Soon, everyone--but Carl--begins to root for Dupree to stick around. But just as the impish buddy starts becoming a fixture in the Petersons'' home, three becomes not just a crowd, but a full-blown comic catastrophe. As the couple realizes their ideas of a white-picket fence marriage are morphing, their loveable pal serves as a daily reminder that finding your inner Dupree might just be one of life''s hidden secrets
TV-14
5:00 am
Married With Children
Chicago Shoe Exchange
Al and Griff trade the shoe store's inventory for a massage chair.
TV-PG
5:30 am
Married With Children
Lez Be Friends
Al strikes up a friendship with Marcy's identical cousin.
TV-PG