PRINT

SCHEDULE: June 2017

Times listed for EASTERN and PACIFIC timezones except where otherwise noted.

Saturday, June 24

6:00 am
Everybody Loves Raymond (SAP)
Ride Along, The
Boredom turns to terror when Ray rides on patrol with Robert.
TV-PG
6:30 am
Everybody Loves Raymond (SAP)
Family Bed, The
Ally's nightmares keep everybody awake.
TV-PG
7:00 am
Everybody Loves Raymond (SAP)
Good Girls
Marie prefers Robert's girlfriend to Debra.
TV-PG
7:30 am
Movie
Kicking & Screaming
Phil Weston is an average Joe who''s had to put up all his life with his overly competitive father, Buck. When Phil decides to coach his 10-year-old son''s soccer team, he goes head-to-head for the league championship against Buck, who coaches his own young son on the preeminent team of the league. Old scores come into play as Phil and Buck find themselves going to extreme measures to win the championship trophy.
TV-PG
9:30 am
Movie (DVS)
17 Again
At 17 Mike O''Donell (Zac Efron) was on top of the world; he was a basketball star and was a shoe in for a college scholarship. But on what''s supposed to be his big game where college scouts are checking him out, His girlfriend Scarlett reveals that she''s pregnant. Mike decides to leave the game and asks Scarlett to marry him. During their marriage, Mike could only whine about the life he lost because he married her. So she throws him out. And when he loses his job, he returns to the only place he''s happy at - his old high school. And while looking at his high school photo, a janitor asks him if he wishes he could be 17 again and he says yes. One night while driving he sees the janitor on a bridge and apparently jumps in and he goes after him. When he returns to his friend Ned''s house, where he has been staying, he sees that he is 17 again. He decides to take this opportunity to get the life he lost.
TV-14
11:45 am
Movie (DVS)
Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Ricky Bobby has always dreamed of driving fast--real fast--like his father, Reese Bobby, who left the family to pursue his racing dreams. Early on, Ricky's mother, Lucy Bobby worried that her boy was also destined to end up as a professional daredevil on wheels. Ricky enters the racing arena as a "jackman" for slovenly driver Terry Cheveaux and accidentally gets his big break behind the wheel when Cheveaux makes an unscheduled pit stop during a race to gorge on a chicken sandwich. Ricky jumps into the car and so begins the ballad of Ricky Bobby. Ricky quickly becomes one of NASCAR's top stars, supported by his pit boys--the impressively large crew chief Lucius Washington, a trio of lovably moronic but loyal crew members, Herschell, Kyle and Glenn, as well as racing partner and boyhood best friend, Cal Naughton, Jr. They are all part of the Dennit Racing team, headed by wealthy Dennit Senior and his petulant son, Dennit Junior, whose jealousy of Ricky Bobby increases with every victory. In a short time, Ricky Bobby is on top of the world. He has everything a championship NASCAR driver could ever want--a gorgeous wife, Carley, a lakeside mansion, two hell-raising sons, Walker and Texas Ranger, huge sponsor endorsements and a string of victories from Daytona to Darlington. Ricky Bobby's "win at all costs" approach had made him a natural hero. But after a frightening crash sends Ricky Bobby to the hospital, he loses his nerve and falls on hard times. When his career and his wife are taken over by his friend Cal, Ricky Bobby turns his back on racing and takes his sons back to his small hometown to live with his mother. But Ricky just isn't cut for the slow life away from the race track and soon hits rock bottom. His mother reluctantly turns to the only person she can think of to help her son--his estranged father Reese Bobby. Ricky Bobby will do anything to find a way back to the top, no matter how many speed bumps life throws his way.
TV-14
2:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One After Joey and Rachel Kiss, The
In Barbados, Monica, Chandler and Phoebe eavesdrop on their friends' passionate encounters; Monica styles her hair to look like a blowfish; Phoebe and Mike rekindle their romance.
TV-PG
2:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One Where Ross Is Fine, The
Ross drinks too much alcohol at dinner with Rachel, Joey and Charlie; Frank Jr. cannot cope with his precocious triplets.
TV-PG
3:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One with Ross's Tan, The
Rachel and Joey nervously anticipate their first real date; Monica and Phoebe try to avoid an obnoxious friend with a fake British accent; Ross emerges from a tanning booth with a two-toned appearance.
TV-PG
3:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One with the Cake, The
An X-rated cake is delivered to Emma's first birthday party.
TV-PG
4:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One Where Rachel's Sister Babysits, The
Rachel convinces her sister to baby-sit over Ross' protests; Joey writes a letter to an adoption agency on Monica and Chandler's behalf.
TV-PG
4:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One with Ross's Grant, The
When Ross interviews with Charlie's ex-boyfriend for a prized grant, the doctor makes a shocking stipulation; Chandler lies about watching Joey's bizarre audition tape.
TV-PG
5:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One with the Home Study, The
Monica and Chandler fuss over their apartment as they expect a visit from the adoption worker; Phoebe and Mike opt for a small wedding and donate the extra money to a children's charity.
TV-PG
5:30 pm
2 Broke Girls (DVS)
And the Break-Up Scene
Caroline thinks she's doing Max a favor but she is really stealing Max's thunder when she takes it upon herself to facilitate Max's breakup with Robbie.
TV-14
6:00 pm
2 Broke Girls (DVS)
And Strokes of Goodwill
Max introduces Caroline to the art of thrift store shopping, which takes a dangerous turn when a battle erupts over a T-shirt.
TV-14
6:30 pm
2 Broke Girls (DVS)
And the Rich People Problems
Max gets a taste of Caroline's posh life when they break into her former townhouse to retrieve her night guard.
TV-14
7:00 pm
2 Broke Girls (DVS)
And the 90s Horse Party
Caroline and Max throw a '90s-themed party at the diner to attract rich hipsters and raise money for their cupcake business. Caroline is horrified when her rich ex-boyfriend, William, comes into the diner.
TV-14
7:30 pm
2 Broke Girls (DVS)
And the Disappearing Bed
Caroline tries to build herself a Murphy bed, the kind which folds into the wall, in Max's apartment. Meanwhile, the chemistry between Max and Johnny heats up.
TV-14
8:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Love Spell Potential, The
When the girls' trip to Vegas falls through, the guys invite them to a Dungeons & Dragons date night that causes Sheldon and Amy's relationship to take an unexpected turn.
TV-PG
8:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Bon Voyage Reaction, The
On the sixth season finale, Sheldon and Penny are thrown for a loop when Leonard is offered an exciting new job opportunity overseas.
TV-PG
9:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Hofstadter Insufficiency, The
Leonard is away at sea, so Sheldon & Penny spend some time together and spill some revealing secrets. Meanwhile, Howard comes to Raj's aid after his breakup with his girlfriend.
TV-PG
9:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Deception Verification, The
Leonard returns from the North Sea expedition and finds things chilly between him and Sheldon, while Howard's relationship with his mother opens the door to questions about his masculinity.
TV-14
10:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Scavenger Vortex, The
Raj puts together a scavenger hunt that turns into serious, cutthroat competition among the gang.
TV-PG
10:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Raiders Minimization, The
Sheldon is fit to be tied when Amy ruins one of his favorite adventure films, while Leonard finds the key to getting Penny to do his bidding, and Raj & Stuart get creative with their online-dating profiles.
TV-PG
11:00 pm
Full Frontal with Samantha Bee
June 21, 2017
Full Frontal takes a walk through the Upside Down! Or as it was known before Trump... the English language.
TV-MA
11:30 pm
Wrecked (DVS)
Ransom
Newly arrived pirates attempt to ransom Danny and maroon the others. Steve tries to make amends for murdering a survivor. The pirates are the captains now.
TV-MA
11:58 pm
Wrecked (DVS)
Poison
After the pirates decide to stay on the island, Pack tries to negotiate a truce. Steve pitches Danny a new business venture. Pack is the captain now.
TV-MA
12:30 am
Movie (DVS)
Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightning Thief
Trouble-prone Percy Jackson is having problems in high school - but that's the least of his challenges. It's the 21st century, but the gods of Mount Olympus seem to have walked out of the pages of Percy's Greek mythology texts and into his life. Percy has learned that his real father is Poseidon, god of the sea, which means Percy is a demigod - half human, half god. At the same time, the powerful gods on Olympus are feuding, which could launch a war enveloping our entire planet. Now, Percy must prepare for the adventure of a lifetime, and the stakes couldn't be higher. With ominous storm clouds brewing over Earth and his own life now in peril, Percy travels to a special enclave called Camp Half Blood, where he trains to harness his newly discovered powers and prevent a devastating war among the gods. There, Percy meets two fellow demigods - the warrior Annabeth, who is searching for her mother, the goddess Athena; and his friend and protector, Grover, who is actually a brave but untested satyr. Grover and Annabeth then join Percy on an incredible transcontinental odyssey that takes them six hundred stories above New York City (the portal to Mount Olympus) and to the iconic Hollywood sign, under which burn the fires of the Underworld. At journey's end rests the fate of the world - and the life of Percy's mother Sally, whom Percy must rescue from the depths of Hell itself.
TV-PG
3:00 am
Movie (DVS)
Journey 2: The Mysterious Island
Young adventurer Sean receives a coded distress signal from a mysterious island where no island should exist--a place of strange life forms, mountains of gold, deadly volcanoes, and more than one astonishing secret. Unable to stop him from going, Sean's new stepfather joins the quest. Together with a helicopter pilot and his beautiful, strong-willed daughter, they set out to find the island, rescue its lone inhabitant and escape before seismic shock waves force the island under the sea and bury its treasures forever.
TV-PG
5:00 am
New Girl
Kryptonite
Nick and Schmidt convince Jess to get her stuff out of her ex-boyfriend Spencer's apartment; Jess meets new roommate Winston, who has returned from playing basketball in Latvia; and Winston tries to get his old room back from Schmidt.
TV-14
5:30 am
New Girl
Wedding
The guys are invited to a wedding of a mutual friend. Nick, fearful he will run into his ex-girlfriend Caroline, asks Jess to be his date. Meanwhile, Winston takes his role as an usher very seriously, and gets competitive on the dance floor with a young guest. Schmidt not only catches the eye of a beautiful woman, but also his "frenemy" Gretchen, whom he sleeps with at every wedding reception.
TV-14
 

Sunday, June 25

6:00 am
Everybody Loves Raymond (SAP)
T-Ball
Debra fights with a T-ball parent about unhealthy snacks.
TV-PG
6:30 am
Everybody Loves Raymond (SAP)
Traffic School
Robert uses a ventriloquist's dummy to enliven his traffic-school classes.
TV-PG
7:00 am
Friends (SAP)
One with the Birth Mother, The
A prospective birth mother labors under a misconception about Monica and Chandler's respective occupations.
TV-PG
7:30 am
Friends (SAP)
One Where Chandler Gets Caught, The
Rachel and Phoebe spot Chandler getting into a vehicle with a mysterious blond woman.
TV-PG
8:00 am
Friends (SAP)
One Where the Stripper Cries, The
Joey appears as a celebrity contestant on $100,000 Pyramid. Monica and Rachel hire an ungainly stripper for Phoebe's bachelorette party.
TV-14
8:30 am
Friends (SAP)
One with Phoebe's Wedding, The
A blizzard causes Phoebe and Mike's wedding to spiral out of control; uptight Monica steps in as her friend's wedding planner, then drives everyone crazy.
TV-PG
9:00 am
Friends (SAP)
One Where Joey Speaks French, The
Monica and Chandler show Erica the sights but also learn their baby's biological father might be an unsavory character. Joey begs Phoebe to teach him how to speak French before an audition.
TV-PG
9:30 am
Friends (SAP)
One with Princess Consuela, The
Rachel goes to a job interview at a restaurant and winds up sitting next to her current boss. Joey feels abandoned because Monica and Chandler are leaving.
TV-PG
10:00 am
Friends (SAP)
One Where Estelle Dies, The
Ross tries to win back Rachel's job with her former fashion employer. Phoebe tries to keep Joey from learning about his agent's death; Monica and Chandler make a horrifying discovery.
TV-PG
10:30 am
Friends (SAP)
One with Rachel's Going Away Party
One of the guys becomes offended when Rachel does not give him the same goodbye she gives the others.
TV-PG
11:00 am
Movie (DVS)
Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey, The
Bilbo Baggins is swept into an epic quest to reclaim the lost Dwarf Kingdom of Erebor from the fearsome Dragon Smaug. Approached out of the blue by the Wizard Gandalf the Grey, Bilbo finds himself joining a company of 13 Dwarves led by the legendary warrior Thorin Oakenshield. Their journey will take them into the Wild, through treacherous lands swarming with Goblins, Orcs and deadly Wargs, as well as a mysterious and sinister figure known only as the Necromancer. Although their goal lies to the East and the wastelands of the Lonely Mountain, first they must escape the Goblin tunnels, where Bilbo meets the creature that will change his life forever - Gollum. Here, alone with Gollum, on the shores of an underground lake, the unassuming Bilbo Baggins not only discovers depths of ingenuity and courage that surprise even him, he also gains possession of Gollum's "precious" ring that holds unexpected and useful qualities - a simple, gold ring that is tied to the fate of all Middle-earth in ways Bilbo cannot begin to know.
TV-PG
2:30 pm
Movie (DVS)
Journey 2: The Mysterious Island
Young adventurer Sean receives a coded distress signal from a mysterious island where no island should exist--a place of strange life forms, mountains of gold, deadly volcanoes, and more than one astonishing secret. Unable to stop him from going, Sean's new stepfather joins the quest. Together with a helicopter pilot and his beautiful, strong-willed daughter, they set out to find the island, rescue its lone inhabitant and escape before seismic shock waves force the island under the sea and bury its treasures forever.
TV-PG
4:30 pm
Movie (DVS)
Percy Jackson and the Olympians: The Lightning Thief
Trouble-prone Percy Jackson is having problems in high school - but that's the least of his challenges. It's the 21st century, but the gods of Mount Olympus seem to have walked out of the pages of Percy's Greek mythology texts and into his life. Percy has learned that his real father is Poseidon, god of the sea, which means Percy is a demigod - half human, half god. At the same time, the powerful gods on Olympus are feuding, which could launch a war enveloping our entire planet. Now, Percy must prepare for the adventure of a lifetime, and the stakes couldn't be higher. With ominous storm clouds brewing over Earth and his own life now in peril, Percy travels to a special enclave called Camp Half Blood, where he trains to harness his newly discovered powers and prevent a devastating war among the gods. There, Percy meets two fellow demigods - the warrior Annabeth, who is searching for her mother, the goddess Athena; and his friend and protector, Grover, who is actually a brave but untested satyr. Grover and Annabeth then join Percy on an incredible transcontinental odyssey that takes them six hundred stories above New York City (the portal to Mount Olympus) and to the iconic Hollywood sign, under which burn the fires of the Underworld. At journey's end rests the fate of the world - and the life of Percy's mother Sally, whom Percy must rescue from the depths of Hell itself.
TV-PG
7:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Workplace Proximity, The
Amy takes a job at Sheldon's university, putting their relationship to the test.
TV-PG
7:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Romance Resonance, The
Sheldon makes a major scientific breakthrough, but he feels it may haunt him for the rest of career. Meanwhile, Howard makes a grand romantic gesture to Bernadette, which causes Penny to put more effort into her relationship with Leonard.
TV-PG
8:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Proton Displacement, The
When Sheldon's childhood hero, Professor Proton, seeks Leonard's help with an experiment, the slighted Sheldon goes nuclear and decides to get revenge by befriending another TV science guy.
TV-PG
8:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Itchy Brain Simulation, The
Leonard fails to stop Sheldon from overreacting after a past slight comes to light, and as punishment Leonard must walk a mile in Sheldon's shoes. Meanwhile, Penny has a run-in with Raj's former girlfriend Lucy.
TV-PG
9:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Thanksgiving Decoupling, The
Howard's mother has a say when he and Bernadette host Thanksgiving dinner for the gang.
TV-PG
9:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Discovery Dissipation, The
When Sheldon's accidental scientific discovery is disproved, Amy and Leonard try to help him deal with the shame and the disappointment. Meanwhile, Howard and Bernadette open their home to Raj for a week.
TV-PG
10:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Cooper Extraction, The
With Sheldon in Texas, the gang gathers to decorate for Christmas, and they contemplate if each would have had a wonderful life had they never met him.
TV-PG
10:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Hesitation Ramification, The
Penny turns to Leonard for comfort after her guest appearance on NCIS does not turn out well. She ends up putting Leonard on the spot regarding their relationship. Sheldon works on his sense of humor and Raj practices talking to girls.
TV-PG
11:00 pm
Wrecked (DVS)
Ransom
Newly arrived pirates attempt to ransom Danny and maroon the others. Steve tries to make amends for murdering a survivor. The pirates are the captains now.
TV-MA
11:30 pm
Wrecked (DVS)
Poison
After the pirates decide to stay on the island, Pack tries to negotiate a truce. Steve pitches Danny a new business venture. Pack is the captain now.
TV-MA
12:00 am
Movie (DVS)
Campaign, The
When congressman Cam Brady commits a major, public faux pas before an election, two wealthy CEOs see an opportunity to gain influence over their North Carolina district by putting up their own candidate for the job. Their man is Marty Huggins, the naïve director of the local tourism center. At first, Marty is an improbable candidate, but with the help of his backers, a ruthless campaign manager and his family''s political connections, he soon becomes a real threat to Cam''s reelection.
TV-14
2:00 am
Movie (DVS)
Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy
San Diego's top television news anchor faces unexpected competition from a woman.
TV-14
4:00 am
Everybody Loves Raymond (SAP)
Six Feet Under
Ray has a midlife crisis. Frank sells Marie's burial plot for a profit.
TV-PG
4:30 am
Everybody Loves Raymond (SAP)
Garage Sale, The
Ray is surprised to learn that Debra doesn't want more children.
TV-PG
5:00 am
Everybody Loves Raymond (SAP)
Wedding Part 1, The
Ray recalls his wedding day.
TV-PG
5:30 am
Everybody Loves Raymond (SAP)
Wedding Part 2, The
Ray recalls proposing to Debra and the elaborate plans for their wedding.
TV-PG
 

Monday, June 26

6:00 am
Married With Children
Sleepless in Chicago
Al must sleep with Marcy so that Jefferson can cash in her valuable Barbie doll.
TV-PG
6:30 am
Married With Children
No Pot to Pease In
The Bundys and D'Arcys discover a new TV show modeled after their lives.
TV-PG
7:00 am
Married With Children
Dud Bowl
Al reunites his old high school football team to play the championship game that never was.
TV-PG
7:30 am
Married With Children
Man for No Seasons, A
Al and his friends decide to remedy the professional baseball strike themselves.
TV-PG
8:00 am
Friends (SAP)
Last One Part 1, The
The six friends say goodbye and embark on the next chapters of their lives.
TV-PG
8:30 am
Friends (SAP)
Last One Part 2, The
The six friends say goodbye and embark on the next chapters of their lives.
TV-PG
9:00 am
Friends (SAP)
Pilot
Six friends in their twenties pursue careers, love and happiness in New York City while relying on each other for support.
TV-PG
9:30 am
Friends (SAP)
One with the Sonogram, The
Ross is stunned to learn his ex-wife is pregnant with their child. Monica's dinner for her overly critical parents is a disaster.
TV-PG
10:00 am
Friends (SAP)
One with the Thumb, The
The group loves Monica's new boyfriend; Chandler resumes smoking; and Phoebe receives a large sum of money unexpectedly.
TV-PG
10:30 am
Friends (SAP)
One with George Stephanopoulos, The
While the men attend a hockey game and end up at a hospital, the women spy on President Clinton's top aide, George Stephanopoulos, who lives across the street. Rachel receives her first paycheck.
TV-PG
11:00 am
Friends (SAP)
One with the East German Laundry Detergent, The
While Phoebe and Chandler end their respective romantic relationships, Rachel and Ross do laundry together on their first date.
TV-PG
11:30 am
Friends (SAP)
One with the Butt, The
Joey gets a film role as a stand-in for Al Pacino's butt. Ross tries to be less conservative. Chandler has an affair with a married woman.
TV-14
12:00 pm
Cleveland Show, The
Wide World Of The Cleveland Show, The
As Cleveland and his family travel the world...in Italy, Cleveland must choose between Junior and Rallo to run "the family business;" in Mexico, Junior insists on having a Quinceanera, even though it's for girls; in Japan, Cleveland builds a robot to attend Junior's eating competition.
TV-14
12:30 pm
Cleveland Show, The
Here Comes the Bribe
A marriage counselor tells Cleveland he can skew counseling sessions with Donna in his favor, provided he receives compensation, Junior's favorite refrigerator breaks.
TV-14
1:00 pm
American Dad
Love, American Dad Style
Roger opens a crooner's bar in the Smith family's attic and recruits Hayley as his main entertainer. Soon all of Langley Falls becomes enthralled by her singing voice, including Roger, who takes his crush on Hayley a bit too far. Meanwhile, Stan tries to prove his manhood by negotiating a good deal on a new car.
TV-14
1:30 pm
American Dad
Killer Vacation
The Smith family's tropical vacation turns out to be anything but relaxing when Stan is assigned a mission to kill the activities director at their resort, whom his boss at the CIA insists is an ex-war criminal. Meanwhile, Hayley and Jeff try to rekindle their fading romance, while Roger, as his latest persona, Abigail Lemonparty, falls for an older gentleman.
TV-14
2:00 pm
American Dad (DVS)
Can I Be Frank (With You)
Francine dresses up in a man suit so she can spend more time with Stan; Steve forms a boy band with his friends.
TV-14
2:30 pm
American Dad (DVS)
American Stepdad
Stan invites his mother to come live with the family after Stan's stepfather dies, and tensions rise when Roger is forced to share his attic with her. But Roger and Stan's mom quickly fall in love and get married, and Stan is forced to deal with Roger as his new stepdad. Steve and his friends discover a mysterious plane crash while on a bike ride and come across a long-lost script of a Fast and Furious movie that they are determined to get made.
TV-14
3:00 pm
Bob's Burgers
I Get Psy-Chic Out of You
After predicting that a telemarketer is calling the restaurant when the phone rings, Linda and the kids believe that she is a psychic. Needless to say, her predictions irk Bob and spell out hilarious happenings.
TV-PG
3:30 pm
Bob's Burgers
Equestranauts
In homage to the Bronies subculture, Tina attends her first Equestra-Con, a convention based on her favorite animated pony show, The Equestranauts. To her surprise, she finds that the show's fans are middle-aged men called Equesticles. When a powerful super-fan tricks Tina out of her rare toy pony, it's up to Bob to go undercover to get it back.
TV-14
4:00 pm
Bob's Burgers
Ambergris
Gene, Louise, and Tina discover a seaweed-covered object at the beach that turns out to be a large hunk of Ambergris, an extremely valuable, but illegal, byproduct of whale poop that is used in high-end perfumes, and Louise tries to cheat Gene and Tina out of the profit she hopes to make by selling the treasure on the black market. Meanwhile, Bob and Linda deal with their psychologically unstable landlord who is building them a new bathroom.
TV-14
4:30 pm
Bob's Burgers
Kids Run Away, The
Upon learning that she has a cavity and needs a filling, Louise runs away from the dentist's office and seeks refuge at Aunt Gail's. When Louise refuses to go home, Linda sends Tina and Gene to join her and bets her that she won't last the weekend with Aunt Gail's craziness.
TV-PG
5:00 pm
Bob's Burgers
Gene It On
Tina decides to try out for the cheerleading squad, but it's actually Gene who gets noticed in the crowd for his spirit and cheering ability. Meanwhile, during her cheer audition, Tina falls and bites her tongue, leaving her unable to speak and a mischievous Louise steps up to be her translator.
TV-14
5:30 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Friends Without Benefits
Meg discovers that a boy she has a crush on is gay - and that has his eye on Chris.
TV-14
6:00 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Jesus, Mary and Joseph!
As Christmas approaches...Peter tells the story of the Nativity, with friends and family members appearing as biblical characters.
TV-14
6:30 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Space Cadet
After Chris enrolls in a NASA space camp, Stewie accidentally launches the Griffins into outer space.
TV-14
7:00 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Brian's Play
Brian's dreams come true when he writes a play and it's a hit...but his happiness evaporates when Stewie writes a better play in one night.
TV-14
7:30 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Giggity Wife, The
After accidentally marrying a prostitute, Quagmire pretends to be gay to end the relationship.
TV-14
8:00 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Valentine's Day in Quahog
This Valentine's Day episode features a series of comic vignettes centered around the residents of Quahog.
TV-14
8:30 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Chris Cross
After Meg sees Chris stealing money out of Lois' purse, she blackmails him into doing everything she says.
TV-14
9:00 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Call Girl
When Peter loses the family's money, Lois takes a job as a phone sex operator.
TV-14
9:30 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Turban Cowboy
After befriending a Muslim man, Peter becomes interested in Islamic culture - only to become unwittingly involved in a terrorist plot to blow up a Quahog bridge.
TV-14
10:00 pm
American Dad (DVS)
Why Can't We Be Friends
After concluding that Snot isn't cool enough to hang out with Steve, Stan concocts a scheme to separate the pair by sticking Snot in the Witness Protection Program; Roger gives Steve money to clean out his attic.
TV-14
10:30 pm
American Dad (DVS)
Adventures in Hayleysitting
The Smith family's regular babysitter, Lindsay, breaks her leg in a soccer match so Stan and Francine are forced to leave Steve with Hayley despite her track record of being extremely irresponsible. When Hayley teases Steve about being a goody-two-shoes, Steve is determined to prove her wrong and sneaks out of the house to go to a party with the cool kids.
TV-14
11:00 pm
Conan (CC)
Episode 7997
Guests: The Cast of Fist Fight starring Ice Cube, Charlie Day, Tracy Morgan, Jillian Bell and JoAnna Garcia Swisher, Katherine Ryan
TV-14
12:00 am
Seinfeld
Blood, The
Jerry's parents notice his weight gain and ask Izzy (Lloyd Bridges) to train him.
TV-PG
12:30 am
Conan (CC)
Episode 7997
Guests: The Cast of Fist Fight starring Ice Cube, Charlie Day, Tracy Morgan, Jillian Bell and JoAnna Garcia Swisher, Katherine Ryan
TV-14
1:30 am
Seinfeld
Junk Mail, The
Jerry agrees to perform for a car company in exchange for a new car.
TV-PG
2:00 am
2 Broke Girls (DVS)
And the Pretty Problem
Caroline drags Max to a cake-decorating class to increase their skill level and learn how to make more attractive cupcakes for their business.
TV-14
2:30 am
2 Broke Girls (DVS)
And the Hoarder Culture
Caroline and Max walk into a hoarding nightmare and end up waist-deep in clutter when they take a job cleaning an apartment to make extra money. Plus, Max discovers Johnny has been keeping a secret from her.
TV-14
3:00 am
Movie
Time Machine, The
Scientist and inventor Alexander Hartdegen is determined to prove that time travel is possible. His determination is turned to desperation by a personal tragedy that now drives him to want to change the past. Testing his theories with a time machine of his own invention, Hartdegen is hurtled 800,000 years into the future. There he finds a post-apocalyptic world where he discovers that mankind has been divided into the hunter and the hunted.
TV-PG
5:00 am
Married With Children
I Want My Psycho Dad Part 1
Al protests the cancellation of his favorite TV show.
TV-PG
5:30 am
Married With Children
I Want My Psycho Dad Part 2
The No Ma'am men take their Psycho Dad protest to Washington, D.C.
TV-PG
 

Tuesday, June 27

6:00 am
Married With Children
Naked and the Dead, but Mostly the Naked, The
Al and his friends are forced to take their wives to a strip club.
TV-PG
6:30 am
Married With Children
Kelly Takes a Shot
Bud helps Kelly with a commercial audition to prove himself to Marcy's niece.
TV-PG
7:00 am
Married With Children
Get the Dodge Outta Hell
Al's Dodge goes into the car wash, but doesn't come out.
TV-PG
7:30 am
Married With Children
25 Years and What Do You Get?
Al and Peggy plans and good intentions or their 25th wedding anniversary are upset.
TV-PG
8:00 am
Married With Children
Ship Happens Part 1
After winning a magazine sweepstakes, Peggy takes Al and the D'Arcys on a Caribbean cruise.
TV-PG
8:30 am
Married With Children
Ship Happens Part 2
After the sinking of their cruise ship, the Bundys and D'Arcys are left to fend for themselves at sea.
TV-PG
9:00 am
King of Queens, The
Cello, Goodbye
Doug fears Carrie's new job is coming between them.
TV-PG
9:30 am
King of Queens, The
Paternal Affairs
Arthur dates Doug's favorite, recently divorced aunt.
TV-PG
10:00 am
King of Queens, The
Rock, The
Doug belatedly learns Carrie's engagement ring is valuable.
TV-PG
10:30 am
King of Queens, The
Road Rayge
Doug cheats on a driver's test and loses his license.
TV-PG
11:00 am
Cleveland Show, The
When a Man (Or a Freight Train) Loves His Cookie
When Freight Train misses their anniversary, Cookie runs off with musician George Clinton; Junior's visit to an office supply store triggers an elaborate fantasy.
TV-14
11:30 am
Cleveland Show, The
Pins, Spins and Fins
Rallo thinks he's a stud bowler when he keeps scoring strikes by using the gutter rails. But when his prowess goes to his head, Donna reveals to him the hard truth: little kids mostly suck at everything. Cleveland, Lester, Holt and Terry decide their friendship has become too predictable, and attempt to spice things up by taking a road trip to an abandoned amusement park.
TV-14
12:00 pm
American Dad
National Treasure 4: Baby Franny: She's Doing Well: The Hole Story
A Langley Falls talk show outs Francine as Baby Franny, the toddler who was once rescued from a well by a heroic fireman. On the anniversary of her rescue, she falls down the well again and makes a shocking discovery. Stan and Roger have an entrepreneurial eureka moment when they think of the world's next game-changing business opportunity, male stripper shoes.
TV-14
12:30 pm
American Dad
Finger Lenting Good
Francine asks her family to give up their vices for Lent or risk losing a finger.
TV-14
1:00 pm
American Dad
Adventures of Twill Ongenbone and His Boy Jabari, The
Francine tries to teach Roger the value of hard work after he fakes a masters degree and buys an Oscar. Steve interviews Stan for a personal history assignment at school.
TV-14
1:30 pm
American Dad
Blood Crieth Unto Heaven
A dark secret is revealed about the Smith family's past when Francine invites Stan's incarcerated dad, Jack, to Stan's birthday party. Also, Roger plays Edna, a maid who nurses Bullock and Hayley's love child. But when Edna falls in love with Bullock, it could mean dire consequences for the kid.
TV-14
2:00 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
12 and a Half Angry Men
Mayor West goes on trial for murder after his aide is found stabbed to death.
TV-14
2:30 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Bigfat
After the airplane he's riding in crashes in the Canadian wilderness, Peter transforms into a feral beast.
TV-14
3:00 pm
Wrecked (DVS)
Ransom
Newly arrived pirates attempt to ransom Danny and maroon the others. Steve tries to make amends for murdering a survivor. The pirates are the captains now.
TV-MA
3:30 pm
Wrecked (DVS)
Poison
After the pirates decide to stay on the island, Pack tries to negotiate a truce. Steve pitches Danny a new business venture. Pack is the captain now.
TV-MA
4:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One with the Blackout, The
A citywide power outage leaves Chandler stranded in the vestibule for an automatic banking machine with gorgeous model Jill Connick. Ross tries to ask Rachel out on a date. Joey learns Monica used to be infatuated with him.
TV-PG
4:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One Where the Nana Dies Twice, The
When Ross and Monica's grandmother dies, the whole gang attends the funeral service. Chandler questions his sexual persona when a co-worker wants to arrange a date for him with another guy.
TV-14
5:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One with Mrs. Bing, The
Chandler's flamboyant mother comes to New York for a visit. Phoebe and Monica cause a traffic accident.
TV-PG
5:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One with the Dozen Lasagnas, The
Rachel's Italian boyfriend tries to seduce Phoebe. Rachel accidentally reveals a secret to Ross. Monica's aunt refuses to take the lasagnas she ordered from Monica.
TV-PG
6:00 pm
Seinfeld
Merv Griffin Show, The
Jerry dates a toy collector; Kramer thinks he finds a TV show's furniture set.
TV-PG
6:30 pm
Seinfeld
Slicer, The
Kramer buys a meat slicer; Jerry's date (Marcia Cross) considers his job meaningless.
TV-PG
7:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Occupation Recalibration, The
There's impactful news on the work front as Penny makes a big step toward pursuing a full-time acting career, and Sheldon is forced to take a vacation.
TV-PG
7:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Convention Conundrum, The
Unable to score tickets for Comic-Con, Sheldon decides to stage his own comic-book convention, while the ladies attempt to act like grown ups.
TV-PG
8:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Locomotive Manipulation, The
Amy has amour on her mind when she talks Sheldon into a romantic Valentine's Day getaway to Napa Valley wine country. Back at home, Leonard and Penny make an emergency visit to the vet with Raj's dog.
TV-PG
8:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Table Polarization, The
Leonard's purchase of a dining-room table for the apartment doesn't sit well with Sheldon, so much so that it forces him to reevaluate his life. Meanwhile, Bernadette isn't quite over the moon about Howard taking another trip to space.
TV-PG
9:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Friendship Turbulence, The
Things turn rocky between Sheldon and Wolowitz after a barrage of insults, and Bernadette steps in to mediate a peace. Meanwhile, Penny is offered a movie role that may prove embarrassing.
TV-PG
9:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Mommy Observation, The
While Sheldon and Howard continue their bonding holiday to Houston Texas, Sheldon's surprise visit to see his mommy forces him to start addressing a new reality. Meanwhile, the rest of the gang are subjected to a surprise Koothrappali Murder Mystery party that leads the gang to speculate where they might all be 20 years from now.
TV-PG
10:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Indecision Amalgamation, The
Raj wrestles with dating two women at the same time; Penny is offered a part in a trashy movie; and Sheldon can't decide between two gaming systems.
TV-PG
10:30 pm
Wrecked (DVS)
Caiman
After something taints their water upstream, Florence and Karen hike into the jungle to find the source. The others debate whether they want the pirates to spoil "Game of Thrones." Steve strikes up an unlikely romance. Florence is the captain now.
11:00 pm
Conan (CC)
Episode 71005
Guests: Sir Patrick Stewart, Jerrod Carmichael, Kurt Braunohler
TV-14
12:00 am
Wrecked (DVS)
Caiman
After something taints their water upstream, Florence and Karen hike into the jungle to find the source. The others debate whether they want the pirates to spoil "Game of Thrones." Steve strikes up an unlikely romance. Florence is the captain now.
12:30 am
Conan (CC)
Episode 71005
Guests: Sir Patrick Stewart, Jerrod Carmichael, Kurt Braunohler
TV-14
1:30 am
Seinfeld
Betrayal, The
Elaine drags Jerry and George to a wedding in India; Kramer's life is threatened.
TV-PG
2:00 am
2 Broke Girls (DVS)
And the Really Petty Cash
Johnny's girlfriend, Cashandra has a devious plan in mind when she hires Max and Caroline to bake cupcakes for an art show featuring his work.
TV-14
2:30 am
2 Broke Girls (DVS)
And the Very Christmas Thanksgiving
It's Caroline's first broke holiday season and, to earn extra money, she and Max apply to work as elves at a department store's Santaland.
TV-14
3:00 am
Movie
Longshots, The
When Curtis Plummer, a down on his luck former high school football star, takes the only job he can find, babysitting his misfit niece Jasmine, he discovers that she has the skills that once made him a great quarterback. The only place these two opposites get along is on the field, so Curtis is determined to turn Jasmine into the star of the local team, The Minden Browns, and get his own stride back by becoming the coach. The boys on the team don't want her but when this girl quarterback shows them she's got the skills, she'll turn their whole world upside down.
TV-PG
5:00 am
Married With Children
Something Larry This Way Comes
Al goes out of his way to help Kelly and meet his TV idol, Larry Storch.
TV-PG
5:30 am
Married With Children
And Bingo Was Her Game-O
Peggy is invited to play in a big bingo tournament; Al and his friends set out to choose No Ma'am's new official beer.
TV-PG
 

Wednesday, June 28

6:00 am
Married With Children
User Friendly
While Al and his friends tries to find out what a light switch in the Bundy house do, Bud experiences cyber sex with Amber.
TV-PG
6:30 am
Married With Children
Pump Fiction
Al and Kelly make a short film about shoes, and they end up getting $10,000 dollars to produce another one.
TV-PG
7:00 am
Married With Children
Radio Free Trumaine
In an attempt for a spinoff, we follow the lives of DJs Oliver Cole and Mark Campbell at a local radio station at Bud's college. Oliver and Mark risk being expelled for revealing the truth about dean Steve Rhoades' past.
TV-PG
7:30 am
Married With Children
Shoeless Al
Al can't wear shoes because of his phony lawsuit against the mall.
TV-PG
8:00 am
Married With Children
Undergraduate, The
A twelve-year-old boy with a crush on Kelly gets her to go to his junior prom with him.
TV-PG
8:30 am
Married With Children
Guess Who's Coming to Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner
When Bud decides to move out, Peggy's mother arrives to stay.
TV-PG
9:00 am
King of Queens, The
Educating Doug
Doug takes an English lit class to please Carrie.
TV-PG
9:30 am
King of Queens, The
Supermarket Story
Carrie's plan for a simple Thanksgiving falls apart when she shops for food.
TV-PG
10:00 am
King of Queens, The
Fixer Upper
Doug doesn't want Carrie to play matchmaker for Spence.
TV-PG
10:30 am
King of Queens, The
Crappy Birthday
Doug forgets Carrie's 30th birthday.
TV-PG
11:00 am
Cleveland Show, The
Brownsized
Cleveland accepts Mr. Waterman's offer to quit his job and receive six months severance pay. There's only one catch: figuring out a way to tell Donna. Rallo finds a new beau for Robert after Federline forgets about their anniversary.
TV-14
11:30 am
Cleveland Show, The
Rodent Like This, A
When a rat is discovered in the Brown home, Donna and the kids move out, leaving Cleveland to deal with the problem. But Cleveland discovers he likes living by himself and forms a friendship with the whiskered pest.
TV-14
12:00 pm
American Dad
Max Jets
Roger announces Max Jets, a character of Roger's who enjoys showering the Smith family with money, is soon getting out of prison. But a wrench is thrown in the system when Max falls in love with Gina, a gold-digging waitress who threatens the family's inheritance.
TV-14
12:30 pm
American Dad
Naked to the Limit, One More Time
Roger pretends to be Jeff's imaginary friend so he can freely roam naked around the house with no disguise. But when big-mouth Jeff figures out Roger is an alien, Stan issues an ultimatum, either Roger or Jeff must be killed immediately. Meanwhile, Steve becomes insecure about the shape of his rear end.
TV-14
1:00 pm
American Dad
For Black Eyes Only
Stan's honeymoon with his wife, Sexpun Tocome, is brutally interrupted when Black Villain fatally shoots Sexpun. Determined to get his revenge, Stan teams up with former nemesis the Tearjerker to track down Black Villain and put a stop to his evil plan to melt the arctic glaciers.
TV-14
1:30 pm
American Dad
Spelling Bee My Baby
Francine pressures Steve to win the National Spelling Bee so he can get into a top college. Stan and Roger try to slam Hayley through the five stages of grief so she will get over Jeff faster.
TV-14
2:00 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Total Recall
Peter discovers that he's anything but irreplaceable when Lois begins hanging out with his friends; Stewie and Brian embark on a mission to reunite Stewie with his teddy bear.
TV-14
2:30 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Death Has a Shadow
Peter gets drunk, setting off a series of events which end at the Super Bowl.
TV-14
3:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One with the Boobies, The
Chandler sees Rachel nude. Joey learns his father is having an affair.
TV-PG
3:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One with the Stoned Guy, The
A restaurant owner interviews Monica for a chef's position. Ross asks Joey how to talk dirty to women.
TV-14
4:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One with Two Parts Part 1, The
Phoebe's twin sister causes confusion and conflict. Ross attends childbirth classes with his ex-wife and her girlfriend.
TV-PG
4:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One with Two Parts Part 2, The
Rachel and Monica squabble over two handsome doctors. Ross ponders his impending fatherhood with his own father.
TV-PG
5:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One with All the Poker, The
The women lose money in a poker game with the men. After getting advice from a champion card player, they demand a rematch.
TV-PG
5:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One Where the Monkey Gets Away, The
Rachel accidentally lets Ross' pet monkey escape, and the friends form a search party. Rachel learns that her former best friend is engaged to marry Rachel's former fiance.
TV-PG
6:00 pm
Seinfeld
Apology, The
Jerry's girlfriend teaches him some naked truths; George anticipates an apology.
TV-PG
6:30 pm
Seinfeld
Strike, The
George's father invents a new holiday; Kramer returns to work at the bagel shop.
TV-PG
7:00 pm
Seinfeld
Dealership, The
Jerry seeks a good deal on a new car from Elaine's boyfriend (Patrick Warburton).
TV-PG
7:30 pm
Seinfeld
Reverse Peephole, The
Puddy wears a fur coat; Jerry doesn't use a wallet; Newman may face eviction.
TV-PG
8:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Relationship Diremption, The
Raj and Howard double-date and the latter is flushed with embarrassment after Raj's girlfriend reveals a secret she knows about Howard. Meanwhile, Sheldon is at loose ends when he begins to believe he's wasted his life trying to prove string theory.
TV-PG
8:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Anything Can Happen Recurrence, The
Leonard reinstates Anything Can Happen Thursday, and it leads the regimented Sheldon to attempt something spontaneous, which creates friction among Penny, Amy and Bernadette. Meanwhile, Raj requests help from Howard in prepping for a date with Emily.
TV-PG
9:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Proton Transmogrification, The
A grief-stricken Sheldon receives counseling from his childhood TV idol, Professor Proton, while Penny and Leonard reach a relationship milestone and turn it into a competition and Bernadette and Amy turn Star Wars Day into a special event for the guys.
TV-PG
9:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Gorilla Dissolution, The
A trying day at the movie shoot leaves Penny with questions about her life choices, so she decides to act on it; and caring for a bedridden Mrs. Wolowitz proves a challenge for Howard and Bernadette.
TV-PG
10:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Status Quo Combustion, The
Sheldon gets caught up in all the life-altering changes going on around him and considers a monumental move.
TV-PG
10:30 pm
Full Frontal with Samantha Bee
Episode 2052
TV-MA
11:00 pm
Conan (CC)
Episode 71007
Guests: Carl Reiner, Lauren Lapkus, Hurray for the Riff Raff
TV-14
12:00 am
Seinfeld
Cartoon, The
Susan's old friend Sally succeeds with a one-woman show about Jerry.
TV-PG
12:30 am
Conan (CC)
Episode 71007
Guests: Carl Reiner, Lauren Lapkus, Hurray for the Riff Raff
TV-14
1:30 am
The Detour
Wedding, The
Instead of getting back on the road, Robin agrees to marry the southern gentleman Dr. Rob and his Russian bride but soon realizes that something is very, very, very, very wrong.
TV-MA
2:00 am
The Detour
Road, The
Blue Thunder is stuck in traffic. Nate and Robin take a stroll down memory lane about how they met and the kids learn an important lesson in too much information. Seriously. Too much. Stop telling us all this.
TV-MA
2:30 am
The Detour
Drop, The
Nate needs to take a detour to Salvation, Florida where it's Christmas every day of the year except on Christmas. Things get tense when the family discovers Nate has been lying to them in addition to the fact that they are being followed by government goons.
TV-MA
3:00 am
The Detour
Track, The
The Parkers finally make it to Ft. Lauderdale only to have Nate's plan of getting his job back completely unravel. Fortunately, at a nearby race track, there is hope.
TV-MA
3:30 am
The Detour
Beach, The
Nate, Robin and the kids attempt to take down Nate's company in epic whistle blowing fashion. It won't be easy, but if there's one thing we've learned about this family is that they don't give up without at least a punch to the throat and maybe a cheap kick to the groin.
TV-MA
4:00 am
Married With Children
Shoe Room with a View, A
Al arranges for an aerobics studio to open next to the shoe store.
TV-PG
4:30 am
Married With Children
Requiem for a Dead Briard
The family tries to console Kelly when Buck dies.
TV-PG
5:00 am
Married With Children
Reverend Al
Al and his friends turn No Ma'am into a tax-exempt church.
TV-PG
5:30 am
Married With Children
How Bleen Was My Kelly
Kelly accidentally invents a baldness cure with some unusual side effects.
TV-PG
 

Thursday, June 29

6:00 am
Married With Children
Weaker Sex, The
Al suffers public scorn when Peggy is declared a hero for taking out a pickpocket.
TV-PG
6:30 am
Married With Children
Flight of the Bumblebee
Bud takes on wrestler King Kong Bundy as his initiation into No Ma'am.
TV-PG
7:00 am
Married With Children
Blonde and Blonder
Kelly's class reunion becomes the scene for an ex-nerd's revenge.
TV-PG
7:30 am
Married With Children
Two That Got Away, The
Bumped from their fishing lodge cabin, Al and Jefferson seek revenge against actress Shannon Tweed.
TV-PG
8:00 am
Married With Children
Dud Bowl II
Marcy is determined to keep Polk High's new football scoreboard from being named after Al.
TV-PG
8:30 am
Married With Children
Bearly Men
Al must prove himself a man so his father-in-law will take Peggy's mom back home.
TV-PG
9:00 am
King of Queens, The
Noel Cowards
Arthur's Christmas gift drives Doug and Carrie crazy.
TV-PG
9:30 am
King of Queens, The
Best Man
Doug discovers Carrie's shocking secret at a wedding.
TV-PG
10:00 am
King of Queens, The
Dog Days
A barking dog keeps the Heffernans up all night.
TV-PG
10:30 am
King of Queens, The
Hungry Man
Doug embarrasses Carrie at her boss' cocktail party.
TV-PG
11:00 am
Cleveland Show, The
Hangover Part Tubbs, The
Donna campaigns to be elected to the school board; Cleveland accidentally "kills" an opponent while playing "the Hurt Locker game;" Junior realizes he's an excellent driver.
TV-14
11:30 am
Cleveland Show, The
California Dreamin' (All the Cleves Are Brown)
The Browns relocate to Los Angeles so Cleveland can pursue his fantasy of becoming a major league baseball scout; Donna and the kids are seduced by the glamorous Hollywood lifestyle.
TV-14
12:00 pm
American Dad (DVS)
Missing Kink, The
Francine discovers she has a spanking fetish; Hayley goes out on a date with Snot.
TV-14
12:30 pm
American Dad (DVS)
Boring Identity, The
When Stan loses his memory, Francine attempts to transform him into the perfect husband; Roger joins Steve's newspaper route.
TV-14
1:00 pm
American Dad
Full Cognitive Redaction of Avery Bullock by the Coward Stan Smith, The
Stan learns that the CIA wants to wipe out Bullock's memory after he exhibits signs of dementia; Roger hires Stelio Kontos to deal with a student who's bullying Steve at school.
TV-14
1:30 pm
American Dad
Lost in Space
In order to return to Earth, the space-bound Jeff must convince an emperor that he is in love with Hayley.
TV-14
2:00 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
I Never Met The Dead Man
Teaching Meg to drive, Peter wrecks a satellite dish; Stewie hates vegetables.
TV-14
2:30 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Chitty Chitty Death Bang
It's Stewie's first birthday, but Meg is at a party that is really a cult meeting.
TV-14
3:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One with the Evil Orthodontist, The
Rachel reunites with her duplicitous ex-fiance. Chandler agonizes about a woman who doesn't call him after the first date.
TV-14
3:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One with the Fake Monica, The
Monica meets a woman who helps her live out her fantasies. Ross' pet monkey becomes sexually mature and makes everyone crazy.
TV-PG
4:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One with the Ick Factor, The
Monica finds out more than she wants to know about her latest love. Chandler's friends at work treat him differently since his promotion. Ross' ex-wife begins giving birth.
TV-PG
4:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One with the Birth, The
When Carol gives birth, Ross and Susan almost miss the event. Joey befriends an unmarried pregnant woman.
TV-PG
5:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One Where Rachel Finds Out, The
Rachel finds out about Ross' secret love for her but another surprise awaits her.
TV-PG
5:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One with Ross's New Girlfriend, The
Rachel gets an unpleasant surprise when Ross returns home. Phoebe has varied success cutting the friends' hair.
TV-14
6:00 pm
Wrecked (DVS)
Caiman
After something taints their water upstream, Florence and Karen hike into the jungle to find the source. The others debate whether they want the pirates to spoil "Game of Thrones." Steve strikes up an unlikely romance. Florence is the captain now.
6:30 pm
Seinfeld
Strongbox, The
Kramer hides his strongbox key at Jerry's place; a neighbor feuds with Jerry.
TV-PG
7:00 pm
Seinfeld
Wizard, The
Jerry buys his father an electronic organizer; Kramer retires to Florida.
TV-PG
7:30 pm
Seinfeld
Burning, The
George seeks timely exits; Jerry's gal has a secret; Elaine learns Puddy is religious.
TV-PG
8:00 pm
Seinfeld
Bookstore, The
George hopes to meet women at a bookstore where Jerry spots Uncle Leo shoplifting.
TV-PG
8:30 pm
Seinfeld
Frogger, The
Elaine eats Peterman's cake; Kramer helps George steal an arcade game.
TV-PG
9:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Locomotion Interruption, The
Amy and Leonard take a surprise road trip to Arizona, while Penny goes on a job interview at Bernadette's company, and Howard has problems wrapping his head around Stuart's relationship with Mrs. Wolowitz.
TV-PG
9:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Junior Professor Solution, The
Sheldon is ordered to teach a class, and the gang is surprised when Howard signs up to take it; and tensions between Penny and Bernadette afford Amy an opportunity to play one against the other.
TV-PG
10:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
First Pitch Insufficiency, The
A nervous Wolowitz is thrown for a loop when NASA asks him to toss out the first pitch at a Los Angeles Angels baseball game. Meanwhile, Sheldon brags that he and Amy are a better couple than Leonard and Penny.
TV-PG
10:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Hook-Up Reverberation, The
Raj's girlfriend, Emily, gives Penny the cold shoulder after he reveals some info about their past history; and the guys contemplate buying into Stuart's comic-book emporium.
TV-PG
11:00 pm
Conan (CC)
Episode 71009
Guests: Adam Sandler, Dana White
TV-14
12:00 am
Seinfeld
Clip Show Part 1, The
Clips highlight the show's past nine seasons.
TV-PG
12:30 am
Conan (CC)
Episode 71009
Guests: Adam Sandler, Dana White
TV-14
1:30 am
Seinfeld
Clip Show Part 2, The
Clips highlight the show's past nine seasons.
TV-PG
2:00 am
2 Broke Girls (DVS)
And the Reality Check
Max and Caroline try to find Chestnut a job so the horse will have lodging and shelter for the winter. Meanwhile, Peach, the mother of the twins Max babysits, auditions for television reality show Real Housewives of TriBeCa.
TV-14
2:30 am
2 Broke Girls (DVS)
And the Pop-Up Sale
When Max's stove breaks, Caroline tries to return some expensive rings to Barney's department store, but discovers her surname is no longer an asset at the store where she used to get special treatment.
TV-14
3:00 am
Movie
Perfect Getaway, A
Cliff and Cydney are an adventurous young couple celebrating their honeymoon by backpacking to one of the most beautiful, and remote, beaches in Hawaii. Hiking the wild, secluded trails, they believe they've found paradise. But when the pair comes across a group of frightened hikers discussing the horrifying murder of another newlywed couple on the islands, they begin to question whether they should turn back. Unsure whether to stay or flee, Cliff and Cydney join up with two other couples, and things begin to go terrifyingly wrong. Far from civilization or rescue, everyone begins to look like a threat and nobody knows whom to trust. Paradise becomes hell on earth as a brutal battle for survival begins.
TV-14
5:00 am
Married With Children
Love Conquers Al
Peggy takes Al and her parents to a marriage therapy retreat.
TV-PG
5:30 am
Married With Children
I Can't Believe It's Butter
Al forces Peggy's mom to get a job right before Christmas.
TV-PG
 

Friday, June 30

6:00 am
Married With Children
Hood, the Bud and the Kelly Part 1, The
To keep Kelly as a client, Bud sets out to produce a sexy exercise video.
TV-PG
6:30 am
Married With Children
Hood, the Bud and the Kelly Part 2, The
In order to save his life, Bud must finish his exercise video on time.
TV-PG
7:00 am
Married With Children
Calendar Girl
Al uses Bud's class project to beat out a rival shoe store owner.
TV-PG
7:30 am
Married With Children
Agony and the Extra C, The
A Jefferson anniversary surprise is ruined when a drunken tattoo artist misspells Marcy's name.
TV-PG
8:00 am
Married With Children
Spring Break Part 1
As Kelly and her friends trick Bud's fraternity out of their spring break in Florida, Al and Griff join Jefferson in Fort Lauderdale to judge a college co-ed beauty contest.
TV-PG
8:30 am
Married With Children
Spring Break Part 2
As Al prepares to chest to see that Kelly is named Miss Spring Break, Marcy and Bud lead some burned fraternity brothers to Florida for revenge.
TV-PG
9:00 am
King of Queens, The
Court Date
Doug hatches a scheme after Carrie gets a traffic ticket.
TV-PG
9:30 am
King of Queens, The
S'ain't Valentine's
Arthur meets an intoxicating woman (Anne Meara) at a St. Valentine's Day dance.
TV-PG
10:00 am
King of Queens, The
White Collar
A new promotion makes Doug miserable.
TV-PG
10:30 am
King of Queens, The
Rayney Day
Doug plays golf in the rain; guest Ray Romano.
TV-PG
11:00 am
Cleveland Show, The
Fist and the Furious
Cleveland attempts to improve Dr. Fist's social life, only to discover he used to work for the mob; Rallo and Junior discover a business opportunity in the form of a food truck.
TV-14
11:30 am
Cleveland Show, The
Squirt's Honor
When Rallo joins Stoolbend's version of the Boy Scouts, he discovers he can make money selling candy bars for a fictitious charity; Cleveland and Donna win a vacation.
TV-14
12:00 pm
American Dad
Da Flippity Flop
Klaus swaps bodies with Stan after discovering that his original human body is on ice at the CIA; after converting the attic into a gym, Roger attempts to convince Stan to sign up for a lifetime membership.
TV-14
12:30 pm
American Dad
Steve and Snot's Test-Tubular Adventure
Stan reveals that the C.I.A. has a cloning machine at work. Steve and Snot decide to use the machine to clone girls so that they will finally have prom dates. The cloning process backfires as the girls emerge as babies.
TV-14
1:00 pm
American Dad
Poltergasm
Steve and Roger discover that the house is haunted. The ghost appears as an apparition of a younger Francine. The ghost grows more powerful until it attacks Hayley's boyfriend and pulls him into the netherworld.
TV-14
1:30 pm
American Dad
Buck, Wild
Steve is eager to prove that he's no longer a little boy, so he sets off to prove his manhood by joining Stan, Bullock, and the rest of the CIA on their annual hunting trip. Meanwhile, Roger and Klaus set off on a cross-country road trip.
TV-14
2:00 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Mind Over Murder
Peter is under house arrest after punching a pregnant woman he thought was a man.
TV-PG
2:30 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Hero Sits Next Door, A
Peter, jealous of the new neighbors, foils a bank robbery for attention.
TV-PG
3:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One with the Breast Milk, The
Phoebe unwittingly disgusts everybody. Joey competes with a fellow salesman.
TV-PG
3:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One Where Heckles Dies, The
The downstairs neighbor dies and bequeaths his strange possessions to Monica and Rachel.
TV-PG
4:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One with Phoebe's Husband, The
Everyone is surprised when Phoebe's husband shows up.
TV-PG
4:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One with Five Steaks and an Eggplant, The
The friends want to give Ross a birthday party but disagree about money. Monica gets promoted and learns a tough lesson.
TV-PG
5:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One with the Baby on the Bus, The
Matt and Chandler try to attract women with baby Ben. Phoebe gets terminated from her singing job and replaced by a professional, Stephanie.
TV-PG
5:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One Where Ross Finds Out, The
Dramatic developments occur in Ross and Rachel's relationship. Chandler regrets asking Monica to help him lose weight.
TV-PG
6:00 pm
Seinfeld
Maid, The
Jerry begins a relationship with his maid (Angela Featherstone); George wants a nickname.
TV-PG
6:30 pm
Seinfeld
Finale Part 1, The
After NBC picks up Jerry and George's sitcom, the four pals are arrested for breaking the good Samaritan law.
TV-PG
7:00 pm
Seinfeld
Finale Part 2, The
After NBC picks up Jerry and George's sitcom, the four pals are arrested for breaking the good Samaritan law.
TV-PG
7:30 pm
Seinfeld
Ex-Girlfriend, The
George puzzles over how to dump a domineering girlfriend.
TV-PG
8:00 pm
Movie (DVS)
Tyler Perry's Madea Goes to Jail
After a high-speed freeway chase puts Madea in front of the judge, her reprieve is short-lived as anger management issues get the best of her and land her in jail. A gleeful Joe couldn''t be happier at Madea''s misfortune. But Madea''s eccentric family members the Browns rally behind her, lending their special "country" brand of support. Meanwhile, Assistant District Attorney Joshua Hardaway is on the fast track to career success. But Hardaway lands a case too personal to handle--defending young prostitute and former drug addict Candace Washington--and asks his fiancée and fellow ADA Linda Holmes to fill in on his behalf. When Candace ends up in jail, Madea befriends the young woman, protecting her in a "motherly" way as only Madea can.
TV-14
10:00 pm
Movie (DVS)
Why Did I Get Married?
Dr. Patricia Agnew, a psychologist, has written a best seller about marriage: hers and those of three other couples who together take a week's vacation each year to ask themselves, "Why did I get married?" It's time for one of those weeks, and all four relationships are strained: Patricia and her husband Gavin have the shadow of grief between them; Terry believes that Diane has abandoned him for her work; Angela, who's built a successful business, belittles her husband Marcus, who works for her; Mike is cruel to Sheila, his religious, overweight wife. During the week, each person's secret comes out. Will these marriages survive?
TV-14
12:00 am
Wrecked (DVS)
Caiman
After something taints their water upstream, Florence and Karen hike into the jungle to find the source. The others debate whether they want the pirates to spoil "Game of Thrones." Steve strikes up an unlikely romance. Florence is the captain now.
12:30 am
Movie (DVS)
Tyler Perry's Madea Goes to Jail
After a high-speed freeway chase puts Madea in front of the judge, her reprieve is short-lived as anger management issues get the best of her and land her in jail. A gleeful Joe couldn''t be happier at Madea''s misfortune. But Madea''s eccentric family members the Browns rally behind her, lending their special "country" brand of support. Meanwhile, Assistant District Attorney Joshua Hardaway is on the fast track to career success. But Hardaway lands a case too personal to handle--defending young prostitute and former drug addict Candace Washington--and asks his fiancée and fellow ADA Linda Holmes to fill in on his behalf. When Candace ends up in jail, Madea befriends the young woman, protecting her in a "motherly" way as only Madea can.
TV-14
2:30 am
Movie (DVS)
Why Did I Get Married?
Dr. Patricia Agnew, a psychologist, has written a best seller about marriage: hers and those of three other couples who together take a week's vacation each year to ask themselves, "Why did I get married?" It's time for one of those weeks, and all four relationships are strained: Patricia and her husband Gavin have the shadow of grief between them; Terry believes that Diane has abandoned him for her work; Angela, who's built a successful business, belittles her husband Marcus, who works for her; Mike is cruel to Sheila, his religious, overweight wife. During the week, each person's secret comes out. Will these marriages survive?
TV-14
5:00 am
Everybody Loves Raymond (SAP)
Invasion, The
Termite-tenters force the Barones to seek shelter with Ray's parents.
TV-PG
5:30 am
Everybody Loves Raymond (SAP)
Driving Frank
Debra refuses to let the children ride with unsafe driver Frank.
TV-PG
 

Saturday, July 1

6:00 am
Everybody Loves Raymond (SAP)
Apartment, The
Ray notices Robert's new neighbors are all sexy women.
TV-PG
6:30 am
Everybody Loves Raymond (SAP)
Toaster, The
Frank and Marie trade Ray's Christmas gift for a coffee maker.
TV-PG
7:00 am
Movie (DVS)
A-Team, The
Convicted by a military court for a crime they didn't commit, a daring team of former Special Forces soldiers must utilize their unique talents to break out of prison and tackle their toughest mission yet.
TV-14
9:30 am
Movie (DVS)
Red
Frank, J, Marvin and Victoria used to be the CIA''s top agents - but the secrets they know just made them the Agency''s top targets. Now framed for assassination, they must use all of their collective cunning, experience and teamwork to stay one step ahead of their deadly pursuers and stay alive. To stop the operation, the team embarks on an impossible, cross-country mission to break into the top-secret CIA headquarters, where they will uncover one of the biggest conspiracies and cover-ups in government history.
TV-14
11:30 am
Movie
Red 2
Retired black-ops CIA agent Frank Moses reunites his motley team of elite operatives for a worldwide hunt to track down a missing portable nuclear device. In order to succeed, they'll need to survive relentless assassins, ruthless terrorists and power-crazed government officials, who all want to get their hands on the next-generation weapon. The mission takes Frank and his team to Paris, London and Moscow. They are outgunned, outnumbered and have only their wits, old-school skills and each other to rely on as they try to save the world-and stay alive.
TV-14
2:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One with Russ, The
Joey gets a great acting opportunity. Rachel dates a guy who is amazingly similar to Ross.
TV-PG
2:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One with the Lesbian Wedding, The
Carol and Susan prepare for their wedding with some help from an uncomfortable Ross.
TV-PG
3:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One After the Super Bowl Part 1, The
Ross searches for his former pet monkey. Joey dates an obsessed fan.
TV-PG
3:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One After the Super Bowl Part 2, The
Ross spends some quality time with Marcel, his former pet monkey. Chandler gets a big surprise from a sexy former classmate.
TV-PG
4:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One with the Prom Video, The
Monica's old home video shows Ross' true feelings for Rachel. Joey gives a gaudy gift to Chandler.
TV-PG
4:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One Where Ross and Rachel...You Know, The
Ross and Rachel encounter obstacles to romance. Monica becomes enamored with a handsome, older doctor.
TV-14
5:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One Where Joey Moves Out, The
Monica's parents find out about her middle-aged boyfriend. Chandler and Joey argue and it could mean the end of their living arrangement.
TV-PG
5:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One Where Eddie Moves In, The
Joey wants to move back in with Chandler, but there's a new problem. Phoebe tapes a rock video. Ross upsets Monica.
TV-PG
6:00 pm
2 Broke Girls (DVS)
And the Secret Ingredient
In the midst of her new obsession with couponing, Caroline discovers the secret ingredient to Max's cupcakes.
TV-14
6:30 pm
2 Broke Girls (DVS)
And the Upstairs Neighbor
Max and Caroline are suspicious of the new upstairs neighbor, Sophie, who moves in after the old tenant dies.
TV-14
7:00 pm
2 Broke Girls (DVS)
And the Blind Spot
Max and Caroline must prove their cleaning skills to upstairs neighbor Sophie in order to be hired as maids for her cleaning business.
TV-14
7:30 pm
2 Broke Girls (DVS)
And the Broken Hearts
It's Valentine's Day and Max shows her softer side when Earl has a heart attack and ends up in the hospital after seeing Sophie all dressed up. Meanwhile, Caroline attempts to rekindle an old flame of hers.
TV-14
8:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Focus Attenuation, The
Amy and Bernadette accuse former party girl Penny of becoming a party pooper when she lets an email from work impact their girls' weekend in Las Vegas. Meanwhile, the guys brainstorm about inventing something cool.
TV-14
8:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Expedition Approximation, The
Sheldon and Raj undertake an underground research expedition that turns into a test of how long before they get under each other's skin. Meanwhile, Leonard and Penny argue about money.
TV-PG
9:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Misinterpretation Agitation
Amy and Bernadette organize a prom to be held atop the guys' apartment complex but Sheldon is leery of all the prom pomp, circumstance and romancing that goes with it.
TV-PG
9:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Prom Equivalency, The
Penny's flirtatious sales pitch leaves a doctor-client smitten and the guys must pitch in to help her deal with him, while, Bernadette and Amy debate whether female scientists ought to play the sexuality card.
TV-PG
10:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Septum Deviation, The
Leonard needs surgery for a deviated septum, and Sheldon gets his nose out of joint because he feels an operation is too dangerous and that his roommate may not make it out alive.
TV-PG
10:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Champagne Reflection, The
It's a banner day for Sheldon as he bids a sad farewell to his Fun With Flags podcast. Meanwhile, Leonard, Howard and Raj probe a late professor's research in search of some hidden significance.
TV-PG
11:00 pm
Full Frontal with Samantha Bee
Episode 2052
TV-MA
11:30 pm
Wrecked (DVS)
Caiman
After something taints their water upstream, Florence and Karen hike into the jungle to find the source. The others debate whether they want the pirates to spoil "Game of Thrones." Steve strikes up an unlikely romance. Florence is the captain now.
12:00 am
Movie (DVS)
A-Team, The
Convicted by a military court for a crime they didn't commit, a daring team of former Special Forces soldiers must utilize their unique talents to break out of prison and tackle their toughest mission yet.
TV-14
2:30 am
Movie
Back to the Future
"Back to the Future" follows a boy, played by Michael J. Fox, and his rough life in high school after being tormented by the principal, and a rough relationship with his father. When he befriends a scientist, played by Christopher Lloyd, he finds out that he is working on a time machine and is accidentally sent to the 1950s. He interferes with the romance of his parents, and must get them reunited to ensure his own existence back in the 1980s. "Back to the Future" has cemented itself as a 1980s classic.
TV-PG
5:00 am
Married With Children
Turning Japanese
To secure a big promotion at the bank, Marcy must first buy Al's car for her Japanese boss.
TV-PG
5:30 am
Married With Children
Al Goes to the Dogs
Al and Marcy clash over a doghouse for Lucky.
TV-PG
 

Sunday, July 2

6:00 am
Friends (SAP)
One Where Dr. Ramoray Dies, The
Monica and Richard experience the same romantic problems as Rachel and Ross. Joey's ill-advised comments to a fan magazine threaten his acting career.
TV-14
6:30 am
Friends (SAP)
One Where Eddie Won't Go, The
Chandler wants his annoying new roommate to move out. Joey's exorbitant bills come due. The women learn from a book about personal empowerment.
TV-PG
7:00 am
Friends (SAP)
One Where Old Yeller Dies, The
Monica's boyfriend impresses Chandler and Joey. Phoebe finds out what she missed as a child.
TV-PG
7:30 am
Friends (SAP)
One with the Bullies, The
Chandler and Joey are scared of two bullies. Phoebe meets her long-lost family members.
TV-PG
8:00 am
Friends (SAP)
One with the Two Parties, The
Rachel gets a surprise at her birthday party when her parents show up.
TV-PG
8:30 am
Friends (SAP)
One with the Chicken Pox, The
When Phoebe catches chicken pox, her chances for romance with a former lover are almost ruined. Monica worries that she is too strange for Richard.
TV-PG
9:00 am
Friends (SAP)
One with Barry and Mindy's Wedding, The
Rachel is a bridesmaid at her ex-fiance's wedding. Monica and Richard's relationship is jeopardized when the subject of children is discussed.
TV-PG
9:30 am
Movie
Back to the Future
"Back to the Future" follows a boy, played by Michael J. Fox, and his rough life in high school after being tormented by the principal, and a rough relationship with his father. When he befriends a scientist, played by Christopher Lloyd, he finds out that he is working on a time machine and is accidentally sent to the 1950s. He interferes with the romance of his parents, and must get them reunited to ensure his own existence back in the 1980s. "Back to the Future" has cemented itself as a 1980s classic.
TV-PG
12:00 pm
Movie
Back to the Future Part II
Sequel to the 1985 hit "Back to the Future," where Marty McFly goes into the future.
TV-PG
2:30 pm
Movie
Back to the Future Part III
Marty McFly drives into the Old West to rescue Doc, whose blossoming romance makes him reluctant to return, from the clutches of the villainous Tannen Gang.
TV-PG
5:00 pm
Movie (DVS)
Hunger Games: Catching Fire, The
After arriving safely home from their unprecedented victory in the 74th Annual Hunger Games, Katniss and Peeta discover they must do a quick turnaround and begin a Victors Tour.
TV-14
8:00 pm
Movie (DVS)
Hunger Games, The
Every year in the ruins of what was once North America, the nation of Panem forces each of its twelve districts to send a teenage boy and girl to compete in the Hunger Games. Part twisted entertainment, part government intimidation tactic, the Hunger Games are a nationally televised event in which "Tributes" must fight with one another until one survivor remains. Pitted against highly-trained Tributes who have prepared for these Games their entire lives, Katniss is forced to rely upon her sharp instincts as well as the mentorship of drunken former victor Haymitch Abernathy. If she's ever to return home to District 12, Katniss must make impossible choices in the arena that weigh survival against humanity and life against love.
TV-14
11:00 pm
Wrecked (DVS)
Caiman
After something taints their water upstream, Florence and Karen hike into the jungle to find the source. The others debate whether they want the pirates to spoil "Game of Thrones." Steve strikes up an unlikely romance. Florence is the captain now.
11:30 pm
Movie (DVS)
Hunger Games, The
Every year in the ruins of what was once North America, the nation of Panem forces each of its twelve districts to send a teenage boy and girl to compete in the Hunger Games. Part twisted entertainment, part government intimidation tactic, the Hunger Games are a nationally televised event in which "Tributes" must fight with one another until one survivor remains. Pitted against highly-trained Tributes who have prepared for these Games their entire lives, Katniss is forced to rely upon her sharp instincts as well as the mentorship of drunken former victor Haymitch Abernathy. If she's ever to return home to District 12, Katniss must make impossible choices in the arena that weigh survival against humanity and life against love.
TV-14
2:30 am
Movie (DVS)
Hunger Games: Catching Fire, The
After arriving safely home from their unprecedented victory in the 74th Annual Hunger Games, Katniss and Peeta discover they must do a quick turnaround and begin a Victors Tour.
TV-14
5:30 am
Married With Children
Enemies
A philandering delivery man's affair with Kelly causes problems with his own suspicious girlfriend.
TV-PG
 

Monday, July 3

6:00 am
Married With Children
Bud Hits the Books
Bud's unauthorized use of the library threatens his graduation.
TV-PG
6:30 am
Married With Children
Kiss of the Coffee Woman
Al and Marcy object to Kelly and Jefferson's appearing as a couple in a suggestive TV commercial.
TV-PG
7:00 am
Married With Children
Torch Song Duet
Al helps Griff win a pair of tickets to the Olympic Games.
TV-PG
7:30 am
Married With Children
Joke's on Al, The
Al and Jefferson vie to claim the title of King of Practical Jokes.
TV-PG
8:00 am
Friends (SAP)
One Where No One's Ready, The
Ross becomes frantic trying to get everyone ready to leave to hear his speech at the museum.
TV-PG
8:30 am
Friends (SAP)
One with the Jam, The
Monica wants to have a baby. A man is stalking Phoebe.
TV-PG
9:00 am
Friends (SAP)
One with the Metaphorical Tunnel, The
Chandler wants to commit to a relationship with Janice. Phoebe poses as Joey's agent.
TV-PG
9:30 am
Friends (SAP)
One with Frank Jr., The
Phoebe tries to be more friendly with her half-brother. Ross meets Isabella Rossellini.
TV-PG
10:00 am
Friends (SAP)
One with the Flashback, The
The friends recall secrets from their pasts.
TV-PG
10:30 am
Friends (SAP)
One with the Race Car Bed, The
Joey sees Janice kissing her husband, whom she is divorcing while she dates Chandler. Rachel's father clashes with Ross.
TV-PG
11:00 am
Friends (SAP)
One with the Giant Poking Device, The
Chandler and Janice make a difficult decision about their relationship. Monica accidentally injures Ben and tries to hide it from Ross.
TV-PG
11:30 am
Friends (SAP)
One Where Chandler Can't Remember Which Sister, The
Rachel meets a handsome stranger, who might help her career. Chandler gets into trouble with Joey's sisters.
TV-14
12:00 pm
Cleveland Show, The
Who Done Did It?
Cleveland seeks revenge against people who've wronged him and his family...until he's accused of a murder he didn't commit.
TV-14
12:30 pm
Cleveland Show, The
Grave Danger
Cleveland and his friends discover the joys of hanging out at a local cemetery; Rallo befriends neighborhood tough guys after making a trip to Robert's apartment in East Stoolbend.
TV-14
1:00 pm
American Dad
Crotchwalkers
In a desperate attempt to show Steve that she's still a cool mom, Francine teaches him a vast array of shoplifting techniques to try out at the local mall.
TV-14
1:30 pm
American Dad
Kung Pao Turkey
Stan's plan for a perfect Thanksgiving watching football in his underwear is thwarted when Francine invites her adoptive parents to join them for the holiday. Meanwhile, Francine's mom encourages Hayley to get back on the dating scene and invites an eligible bachelor over, but her true intentions are revealed at Thanksgiving dinner.
TV-14
2:00 pm
American Dad (DVS)
Independent Movie
Snot's father dies but Snot refuses to go to the funeral. Steve convinces Snot to take a road trip across the country to attend.
TV-14
2:30 pm
American Dad (DVS)
Faking Bad
When Hayley tries to go clubbing with her old friends she is turned away at the door because she doesn't have proper ID. Hayley convinces Steve to make a fake ID for her. The fake ID is so good that Hayley and Steve go into business together as counterfeiters.
TV-14
3:00 pm
Bob's Burgers
Wharf Horse
Motivated by the promise of a new beachside burger joint, Bob conspires with Felix to convince Mr. Fischoeder to sell Wonder Wharf. Meanwhile, Tina protests the destruction of the wharf's carousel by chaining herself to it.
TV-14
3:30 pm
Bob's Burgers
World Wharf II: The Wharfening
It's Linda and the kids to the rescue when Felix takes desperate measures, and puts Bob and Mr. Fischoeder in danger.
TV-14
4:00 pm
Bob's Burgers
Work Hard or Die Trying, Girl
When Gene's Die Hard-inspired musical doesn't get picked for the school's fall performance, he decides to stage an underground show with the help of Louise. But Wagstaff Middle School families begin to feud when they learn Eugene has planned his show on the very same night as Courtney's school-sanctioned Working Girl-inspired musical featuring Tina.
TV-PG
4:30 pm
Bob's Burgers
Tina and the Real Ghost
Tina begins an out-of-this-world romance with a ghost that is believed to be living in the Belcher's basement. And when Bob realizes that an in-house ghost may increase revenues, he too becomes a fan of the paranormal entity.
TV-PG
5:00 pm
Bob's Burgers
Friends with Burger-Fits
Bob becomes Teddy's workout buddy after finding out his burgers contributed to Teddy's bad health. The two enroll in a stuntman boot camp where their friendship is put to the test. Meanwhile, the kids make an ice rink in the freezer with Linda running their underground ice-wrestling league.
TV-PG
5:30 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Save the Clam
Peter and his friends attempt to save The Drunken Clam bar from being demolished; Meg takes a job as an undertaker's assistant.
TV-14
6:00 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Farmer Guy
When a crime spree sweeps through Quahog, the Griffins move to the safety of a farm, where they're forced to open a meth lab to make ends meet.
TV-14
6:30 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
No Country Club for Old Men
A wealthy girl invites Chris and his family to spend time at the prestigious Barrington Country Club, but complications ensue when Carter gets kicked out of the club.
TV-14
7:00 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Roads to Vegas
Brian and Stewie go to Vegas, but chaos erupts when a glitch in Stewie's new teleportation machine creates a duplicate Brian and Stewie.
TV-14
7:30 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Finders Keepers
After Peter finally goes to the dentist to take care of his bad breath, the Griffins celebrate with a family dinner at The Founding Father Restaurant. The waiter notices Stewie coloring in his placemat, and explains that it's actually a reprinted treasure map.
TV-14
8:00 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Vestigial Peter
Fed up with Peter¿s old, tattered, shirt, Lois takes him to the mall to buy a new outfit for church. When Peter struggles with the top button, they notice a large lump on his neck. Alarmed, they rush to the hospital where Dr. Hartman guesses that it¿s an incomplete vestigial twin.
TV-14
8:30 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Quagmire's Quagmire
Quagmire purchases a new laptop, which promptly gets infected by viruses from all of the dirty websites he visits. When he takes it in to be fixed, the technician, Sonja, is unfazed by his browser history and actually recommends alternate sites. Impressed, Quagmire asks her out on a date.
TV-14
9:00 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Fistful of Meg, A
A new kid arrives at James Woods High and quickly earns the nickname "Mental Mike" for his aggressive and violent reputation.
TV-14
9:30 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Boopa-Dee Bappa Dee
The Quahog 5 News reports an ongoing price war between airlines has led to extremely reduced fares. Lois takes advantage of the situation and purchases tickets to Italy for the family.
TV-14
10:00 pm
American Dad (DVS)
Roger's Baby
Hayley experiences what pregnancy would be like after Roger agrees to give birth to Jeff so he can be human again. Snot's feelings are hurt when Steve secretly signs him up for a makeover.
TV-14
10:30 pm
American Dad (DVS)
Ninety North, Zero West
The Smith family must rescue Steve after he is kidnapped and taken to the North Pole. There, Santa Claus is using children to mine for precious stones that he needs to perform an ancient ritual.
TV-14
11:00 pm
Conan (CC)
Episode 71011
Guests: Reese Witherspoon, Nick Swardson
TV-14
12:00 am
Seinfeld
Pony Remark, The
Jerry thinks his off-the-cuff remark killed a woman.
TV-PG
12:30 am
Conan (CC)
Episode 71011
Guests: Reese Witherspoon, Nick Swardson
TV-14
1:30 am
Seinfeld
Busboy, The
A busboy loses his job and his cat because of George.
TV-PG
2:00 am
2 Broke Girls (DVS)
And the Kosher Cupcakes
Max tries to pass off her cupcakes as kosher when she and Caroline serve them at a boy's Bar Mitzvah.
TV-14
2:30 am
2 Broke Girls (DVS)
And the One Night Stands
Max joins Caroline on a trip to visit her father in prison.
TV-14
3:00 am
Movie
Hundred-Foot Journey, The
When an Indian patriarch and his talented culinary son open a restaurant across the road from an acclaimed five-star French restaurant, it sets off a series of events that blends the two disparate cultures in more than one way. In a quaint French village, the two owners rival each other in taste, décor and music, but the French restaurant's owner Madame Mallory and the Indian restaurant owner Papa Kadam discover they have more in common than they think.
TV-PG
5:45 am
TBS Network Preview
Episode 1
A backstage peek at TBS's original programs.
 

Tuesday, July 4

6:00 am
Married With Children
Twisted
A killer storm strikes, leaving the Bundys and D'Arcys sharing a basement shelter.
TV-PG
6:30 am
Married With Children
Children of the Corns
Al and Griff try to blackmail their sweatshop-owning boss for a raise.
TV-PG
7:00 am
Married With Children
Kelly's Gotta Habit
As Kelly agrees to give up sex for a big TV commercial, Al teams with Officer Dan for an appearance on Cops.
TV-PG
7:30 am
Married With Children
Requiem for a Chevyweight Part 1
Al struggles to find a part for his ailing car.
TV-PG
8:00 am
Married With Children
Requiem for a Chevyweight Part 2
Following the death of his Dodge, Al sets out to get a new car.
TV-PG
8:30 am
Married With Children
Bundy Thanksgiving, A
An untimely death threatens Al's Thanksgiving tradition; Kelly tries to a pet turkey from becoming a holiday dinner.
TV-PG
9:00 am
King of Queens, The
Train Wreck
Doug is disappointed when his beautiful young trainee doesn't make Carrie jealous.
TV-PG
9:30 am
King of Queens, The
Where's Poppa
Hit by a foul ball, Doug ends up at Dr. Becker's and makes a friend (Bill Cosby).
TV-PG
10:00 am
July 4th Movie Marathon (DVS)
17 Again
At 17 Mike O''Donell (Zac Efron) was on top of the world; he was a basketball star and was a shoe in for a college scholarship. But on what''s supposed to be his big game where college scouts are checking him out, His girlfriend Scarlett reveals that she''s pregnant. Mike decides to leave the game and asks Scarlett to marry him. During their marriage, Mike could only whine about the life he lost because he married her. So she throws him out. And when he loses his job, he returns to the only place he''s happy at - his old high school. And while looking at his high school photo, a janitor asks him if he wishes he could be 17 again and he says yes. One night while driving he sees the janitor on a bridge and apparently jumps in and he goes after him. When he returns to his friend Ned''s house, where he has been staying, he sees that he is 17 again. He decides to take this opportunity to get the life he lost.
TV-14
12:00 pm
July 4th Movie Marathon (DVS)
Tammy
Tammy is having a bad day. She's totaled her clunker car, gotten fired from her thankless job at a greasy burger joint, and instead of finding comfort at home, finds her husband getting comfortable with the neighbor in her own house. It's time to take her boom box and book it. The bad news is she's broke and without wheels. The worse news is her grandma, Pearl, is her only option-with a car, cash, and an itch to see Niagara Falls. Not exactly the escape Tammy had in mind. But on the road, with grandma riding shot gun, it may be just what Tammy needs.
TV-14
1:45 pm
July 4th Movie Marathon (DVS)
Blended
After a disastrous blind date, single parents Lauren and Jim agree on only one thing: they never want to see each other again. But when they each sign up separately for a fabulous family vacation with their kids, they're all stuck sharing a suite at a luxurious African safari resort for a week.
TV-14
4:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One with All the Jealousy, The
Ross overreacts when Rachel starts working with a handsome guy. Monica becomes enamored with a sexy busboy.
TV-PG
4:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One Where Monica and Richard Are Just Friends, The
When Monica and Richard accidentally meet, they decide to become friends with dire consequences.
TV-14
5:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One with Phoebe's Ex-Partner, The
Phoebe's ex-singing partner wants to make Phoebe's signature song, Smelly Cat, a commercial success. Chandler dates a woman with a handicap.
TV-PG
5:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One Where Ross and Rachel Take a Break Part 1, The
Phoebe becomes involved with a foreign diplomat. Ross becomes involved with another woman after a fight with Rachel.
TV-PG
6:00 pm
Seinfeld
Chinese Restaurant, The
Jerry, Elaine and George need reservations at a Chinese restaurant.
TV-PG
6:30 pm
Seinfeld
Subway, The
The friends encounter adventure on the subway.
TV-PG
7:00 pm
Seinfeld
Pez Dispenser, The
George worries over gaining the upper hand in his current romance.
TV-PG
7:30 pm
Seinfeld
Bubble Boy, The
Jerry gets lost en route to visiting a sickly fan; guest Jessica Lundy.
TV-PG
8:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Clean Room Infiltration, The
On Christmas Eve, Amy plans a traditional Victorian dinner, while Raj, Leonard and Howard scramble to remove a pigeon that flew into the clean room at the university.
TV-PG
8:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Space Probe Disintegration, The
While Raj eagerly awaits data from a space probe in which he was involved, Howard keeps distracting him. Later, dress shopping with Penny and Amy doesn't exactly prove to be a good fit for Leonard and Sheldon.
TV-PG
9:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Anxiety Optimization, The
Sheldon becomes concerned that his cushy lifestyle is impacting his professional progress and keeping him from achieving scientific renown, so he asks the gang to make life more difficult for him.
TV-PG
9:30 pm
Wrecked (DVS)
Ransom
Newly arrived pirates attempt to ransom Danny and maroon the others. Steve tries to make amends for murdering a survivor. The pirates are the captains now.
TV-MA
10:00 pm
Wrecked (DVS)
Poison
After the pirates decide to stay on the island, Pack tries to negotiate a truce. Steve pitches Danny a new business venture. Pack is the captain now.
TV-MA
10:30 pm
Wrecked (DVS)
Caiman
After something taints their water upstream, Florence and Karen hike into the jungle to find the source. The others debate whether they want the pirates to spoil "Game of Thrones." Steve strikes up an unlikely romance. Florence is the captain now.
11:00 pm
Conan (CC)
Episode 71013
Guests: Dax Shepard & Michael Pena, Kaitlin Olson, Gary Clark Jr.
TV-14
12:00 am
Seinfeld
Baby Shower, The
Kramer persuades Jerry to get illegal cable service; guest Christine Dunford.
TV-PG
12:30 am
Conan (CC)
Episode 71013
Guests: Dax Shepard & Michael Pena, Kaitlin Olson, Gary Clark Jr.
TV-14
1:30 am
Seinfeld
Jacket, The
Jerry loves an expensive suede jacket until he buys it.
TV-PG
2:00 am
2 Broke Girls (DVS)
And the Spring Break
Max and Caroline take a vacation from their lives when they are asked to dog-sit at a couple's posh apartment.
TV-14
2:30 am
2 Broke Girls (DVS)
And the Drug Money
In an effort to raise money to help Caroline's father, Max convinces Caroline to partake in a clinical drug trial.
TV-14
3:00 am
Movie (DVS)
17 Again
At 17 Mike O''Donell (Zac Efron) was on top of the world; he was a basketball star and was a shoe in for a college scholarship. But on what''s supposed to be his big game where college scouts are checking him out, His girlfriend Scarlett reveals that she''s pregnant. Mike decides to leave the game and asks Scarlett to marry him. During their marriage, Mike could only whine about the life he lost because he married her. So she throws him out. And when he loses his job, he returns to the only place he''s happy at - his old high school. And while looking at his high school photo, a janitor asks him if he wishes he could be 17 again and he says yes. One night while driving he sees the janitor on a bridge and apparently jumps in and he goes after him. When he returns to his friend Ned''s house, where he has been staying, he sees that he is 17 again. He decides to take this opportunity to get the life he lost.
TV-14
5:00 am
Married With Children
Juggs Have Left the Building, The
Peggy and Kelly team up as a singing duo for a talent contest in Branson, Missouri.
TV-PG
5:30 am
Married With Children
God Help Ye Merry Bundymen
As Al and Griff lose their jobs on Christmas Eve, Marcy and Jefferson's entry in a neighborhood contest is sabotaged by Kelly and Bud.
TV-PG
 

Wednesday, July 5

6:00 am
Married With Children
Crimes Against Obesity
As he's trying to celebrate his birthday, Al is put on trial by a group of obese women.
TV-PG
6:30 am
Married With Children
Stepford Peg, The
Peggy's amnesia allows Al to mold her into the perfect wife.
TV-PG
7:00 am
Married With Children
Bud on the Side
Al's boss falls in love with Bud.
TV-PG
7:30 am
Married With Children
Grime and Punishment
When he starts charging Bud rent, Al is confined to the basement until he makes some much-needed repairs.
TV-PG
8:00 am
Married With Children
T*R*A*S*H
Al and Griff join Jefferson in the National Guard.
TV-PG
8:30 am
Married With Children
Breaking Up Is Easy to Do Part 1
A party game sends Al and Peggy to a marriage counselor; Kelly squares off in the boxing ring against a rival actress.
TV-PG
9:00 am
King of Queens, The
Time Share
Doug and Carrie befriend their weird neighbors in order to get a Hamptons time share.
TV-PG
9:30 am
King of Queens, The
Maybe Baby
Doug and Carrie contemplate having a baby; Arthur recalls the day Carrie was born.
TV-PG
10:00 am
King of Queens, The
Art House
Arthur gets his own apartment after Doug's patience wears too thin.
TV-PG
10:30 am
King of Queens, The
Major Disturbance
The Palmers' vacation plans are ruined when Doug frightens Major so much he refuses to be babysat by the Heffernans. In the meantime, Arthur begins hiring out himself and friends from the senior center to ride with solo drivers so they can use car-pool lanes.
TV-PG
11:00 am
Cleveland Show, The
Of Lice And Men
Rallo is forced to have his head shaved after he contracts lice; Cleveland housesits for Freight Train and Cookie.
TV-14
11:30 am
Cleveland Show, The
Mr. and Mrs. Brown
Cleveland and Cookie get mistaken for a married couple; after he gets caught stealing a candy bar, Rallo pins the theft on Junior.
TV-14
12:00 pm
American Dad
Minstrel Krampus
When Steve starts acting like a spoiled brat during the holidays, Stan takes him to see his incarcerated Grandpa Jack, who tells him the story of how he caught Minstrel Krampus, a legendary demon who punishes naughty children on Christmas. Stan decides that releasing Krampus is the only way to straighten out Steve's attitude. But when Krampus kidnaps Steve, it's up to Stan and Roger to get him back. Meanwhile, Hayley gets a job at the airport, but quickly realizes that she might not be cut out for customer service.
TV-14
12:30 pm
American Dad
Vision: Impossible
Roger gets into a serious car accident and wakes up from his coma to discover that he now has the ability to see the future. He uses this ability to rescue the Smith family from dangerous situations.
TV-14
1:00 pm
American Dad
Familyland
The Smith family goes to Familyland theme park for vacation. Francine wants the family to spend the day together, but the individual members go their separate ways. Francine cries in front of a statue of the park's founder, Roy Family, and awakens Roy from a deep slumber.
TV-14
1:30 pm
American Dad
Cock of the Sleepwalk
Stan celebrates his one hundredth kill for the C.I.A and says his success as an assassin comes from him not having a conscience. The night of the celebration Stan sleepwalks and performs good deeds for his family. Upon waking up, Stan is shocked to learn that his conscience is taking control of his body.
TV-14
2:00 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Life of Brian
While visiting 17th century Jamestown in his time machine, Stewie gives guns to the Native Americans in an effort to be amiable. Back in the present, Stewie and Brian are surprised to discover that Native Americans are now in control of the entire country.
TV-14
2:30 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
In Harmony's Way
Peter and Quagmire both scream when a bee flies by and realize they harmonize well together. They start writing and singing songs in their spare time. Mort overhears them one day and is amazed by their talent. He offers to manage them since he used to have his own record label in the 70¿s.
TV-14
3:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One the Morning After Part 2, The
Ross wakes up with Chloe but an oblivious Rachel wants to resume their relationship.
TV-PG
3:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One Without the Ski Trip, The
Ross and Rachel remain apart while their friends feel forced to choose between them.
TV-PG
4:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One with the Hypnosis Tape, The
Phoebe is distraught when her brother wants to marry a woman twice his age. While working as a waitress, Monica gets a tip from an admirer worth a small fortune. A hypnosis tape makes Chandler act like a woman.
TV-PG
4:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One with the Tiny T-Shirt, The
Ross is upset when Rachel returns his personal belongings and dates Mark. Monica dates a millionaire.
TV-PG
5:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One with the Dollhouse, The
Joey thinks he's found his true love. Rachel's boss dates Chandler, creating big trouble for Rachel. Monica inherits a dollhouse.
TV-14
5:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One with a Chick and a Duck, The
When Pete buys a restaurant, Monica must make a difficult decision. Ross makes a sacrifice for Rachel. Joey buys Chandler an unusual pet.
TV-PG
6:00 pm
Seinfeld
Boyfriend Part 1, The
Jerry and Elaine vie for time with his new friend, baseball player Keith Hernandez.
TV-PG
6:30 pm
Seinfeld
Boyfriend Part 2, The
Jerry and Elaine vie for time with his new friend, baseball player Keith Hernandez.
TV-PG
7:00 pm
Seinfeld
Contest, The
Jerry, George, Kramer and Elaine vie at self-denial; guests Estelle Harris, Jane Leeves.
TV-PG
7:30 pm
Seinfeld
Junior Mint, The
Visitors Kramer and Jerry think they killed a surgery patient; guest Susan Walters.
TV-PG
8:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Troll Manifestation, The
An online troll rips Leonard and Sheldon's published physics paper, so the guys rally to defend the two and expose the bully, while a girls night out leads to Penny, Amy and Bernadette dishing about embarrassing past events.
TV-PG
8:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Comic Book Store Regeneration, The
Amid the excitement of Stuart reopening his comic-book store, Howard gets some unsettling news; and after teaching Sheldon how to "let it go," Penny doesn't practice what she preaches when she learns something maddening about Amy.
TV-PG
9:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Intimacy Acceleration, The
An experiment designed to make participants fall in love piques Penny and Leonard's interest, so they decide to put it to the test. Meanwhile, Leonard, Amy, Raj and Emily have an encounter with a "zombie".
TV-PG
9:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Colonization Application, The
There's trouble in paradise when Amy discovers Sheldon signed up for a one-way mission to colonize Mars, and the two get into a dogfight at a pet store. Meanwhile, Leonard makes a very "adult" purchase for Penny.
TV-PG
10:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Leftover Thermalization, The
An electrical short thaws the last meal that was cooked by Mrs. Wolowitz, and the gang ponders what to do with it, while Sheldon and Leonard's work is featured in a magazine, but only one receives credit.
TV-PG
10:30 pm
Full Frontal with Samantha Bee
11:00 pm
Conan (CC)
Episode 71016
Guests: Wanda Sykes, Mr. T, Dead Man Winter
TV-14
12:00 am
Seinfeld
Phone Message, The
George regrets a nasty message he put on a date's answering machine.
TV-PG
12:30 am
Conan (CC)
Episode 71016
Guests: Wanda Sykes, Mr. T, Dead Man Winter
TV-14
1:30 am
Angie Tribeca
Pilot
The mayor is being blackmailed and the lieutenant is just sick about it. Angie Tribeca is assigned a new partner, Jay Geils, to find the blackmailer and bring him to justice. The only problem Tribeca works alone.
TV-14
2:00 am
Angie Tribeca
Wedding Planner Did It, The
A baker's been murdered and the lieutenant is just sick about it. Tribeca must track down the murderer before any other people get murdered by that murderer. The only problem She doesn't know who did it.
TV-14
2:30 am
Angie Tribeca
Famous Ventriloquist Did It, The
A ventriloquist is dead and the lieutenant is just sick about it. On the case, Tribeca delves into the salacious world of American ventriloquism. The only problem Geils always wanted to be a ventriloquist, which may not sound like a problem but is.
TV-PG
3:00 am
Angie Tribeca
Thumb Affair, The
A priceless work of art is missing and the lieutenant is extremely sick. Tribeca and Geils search and high and low and in the middle to recover the stolen painting. The only problems The demons in Tribeca's past and the lieutenant's lingering illness.
TV-14
3:30 am
Angie Tribeca
Commissioner Bigfish
Tribeca and Geils are poking around into a prostitution ring and the lieutenant is just sick, mostly about it. Afraid of what they might uncover, he orders them to stop. The only problem "Stop" isn't a word in Angie Tribeca's vocabulary.
TV-14
4:00 am
Married With Children
Breaking Up Is Easy to Do Part 2
When Al moves out, he and Peggy throw themselves into the singles scene, with widely different results.
TV-PG
4:30 am
Married With Children
Breaking Up Is Easy to Do Part 3
While Al finds single life dismal, Peggy tries to land a new husband.
TV-PG
5:00 am
Married With Children
Live Nude Peg
Al falls in love with a stripper, unaware that she's actually his wife.
TV-PG
5:30 am
Married With Children
Babe in Toyland, A
Kelly becomes a prima donna after being asked to fill in on a popular children's television program.
TV-PG
 

Thursday, July 6

6:00 am
Married With Children
Birthday Boy Toy
As Jefferson's worries about getting old force him into taking a job, Al tries to cure Peggy's shopping addiction.
TV-PG
6:30 am
Married With Children
Damn Bundys
Al sells his soul for a chance to play in the Super Bowl.
TV-PG
7:00 am
Married With Children
Lez Be Friends
Al strikes up a friendship with Marcy's identical cousin.
TV-PG
7:30 am
Married With Children
Desperate Half-Hour Part 1, The
Bud's prison pen pal arrives to rob the Bundys.
TV-PG
8:00 am
Married With Children
How to Marry a Moron Part 2
Al objects to Kelly marrying an armed robber, until he discovers that he's the heir to a family fortune.
TV-PG
8:30 am
Married With Children
Chicago Shoe Exchange
Al and Griff trade the shoe store's inventory for a massage chair.
TV-PG
9:00 am
King of Queens, The
Brace Yourself
An unflattering picture by Major prompts Arthur to ask Doug and Carrie for braces. Meanwhile, Kelly hires an out-of-work Spence to help out around the house.
TV-PG
9:30 am
King of Queens, The
Moxie Moron
Doug and Deacon fill in for Supervisor O'Boyle at the IPS depot. Carrie regrets her decision to complain about her company's chinzy gift for work on an important project.
TV-PG
10:00 am
King of Queens, The
Ruff Goin'
Feeling hurt over not being invited to a block party, Doug adopts a dog just to prove to the neighbors that he's an okay guy, a decision he soon regrets. Meanwhile, Arthur falls prey to the gambling bug when trying to help Danny beat it.
TV-PG
10:30 am
King of Queens, The
Mama Cast
Doug decides to spend the Heffernans' tax refund on an ice cream truck. Meanwhile, Carrie fills in as a pretend mom at model homes, and discovers a reemergence of her maternal desires.
TV-PG
11:00 am
Cleveland Show, The
Crazy Train
When Freight Train begins treating Cleveland with respect, Donna concludes there's only one cause: a mental breakdown; Junior and Rallo make off with a cherry-picker.
TV-14
11:30 am
Cleveland Show, The
Wheel! Of! Family!
An exhausted Cleveland and Donna ask relatives for help when Junior, Roberta and Rallo run them ragged; Robert and Dee Dee adopt a baby; Junior takes a pole dancing class.
TV-14
12:00 pm
American Dad
Introducing the Naughty Stewardesses
Stan takes Francine on a surprise trip to Sacramento, but Francine is bored. They meet the Naughty Stewardesses, four women who use their status as flight attendants to find love and adventure.
TV-14
12:30 pm
American Dad
I Ain't No Holodeck Boy
Stan thinks that Steve and his friends spend too much time indoors playing video games. He wishes that the boys would go outside and have the kind of adventures in the woods that he had as a child. When Stan learns that the C.I.A. has a hologram deck that can simulate real environments, he drugs the boys and places them inside, making them think they have been left in the woods.
TV-14
1:00 pm
American Dad
Stan Goes on the Pill
Francine is frustrated that Stan only pretends to pay attention when she talks. Stan takes a pill engineered by the C.I.A. to help male agents listen to females. Stan takes too much and the pill physically transforms him into a woman.
TV-14
1:30 pm
American Dad
Honey, I'm Homeland
Stan goes undercover at an Occupy Wall Street rally and gets kidnapped by a group of radical leftists. The liberals subject Stan to horrific torture to re-educate him, but Stan escapes. After Stan returns home, Hayley notices Stan's odd behavior and fears that he may have been brainwashed.
TV-14
2:00 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Christmas Guy
The Griffins visit the Quahog Mall for the Christmas Carnival only to find that it has been canceled. Upset, Stewie begins to act out.
TV-14
2:30 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Peter Problems
Lately Peter hasn't been able to perform very well in the bedroom. So he asks Quagmire and Joe to step in and help him get his mojo back.
TV-14
3:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One with the Screamer, The
Ross tries to convince Rachel that her date is psychotic. Joey's play gets terrible reviews.
TV-PG
3:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One with Ross's Thing, The
Ross finds a strange growth on his buttocks. Phoebe can't choose between two guys. Monica's boyfriend surprises her.
TV-PG
4:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One with the Ultimate Fighting Champion, The
Monica's boyfriend cannot stop fighting. Chandler's boss is overly friendly.
TV-PG
4:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One at the Beach, The
The friends stay at a beach house. Phoebe meets someone who knows details about her family. Rachel expresses her jealousy of Ross' uninhibited girlfriend.
TV-PG
5:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One with the Jellyfish, The
Ross loves dating Rachel again but hates what he did to accomplish the reconciliation. Phoebe gets to know her mother.
TV-PG
5:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One with the Cat, The
Phoebe thinks her adoptive mother's spirit inhabits a stray cat. Joey's attempt to sell his entertainment center proves hazardous.
TV-PG
6:00 pm
Seinfeld
Marine Biologist, The
George poses as a marine biologist; guest Carol Kane.
TV-PG
6:30 pm
Seinfeld
Opposite, The
George learns success lies in doing the opposite of what he would normally do; guests Dedee Pfeiffer, Regis Philbin, Kathie Lee Gifford; French Stewart.
TV-PG
7:00 pm
Seinfeld
Hamptons, The
Jerry's girlfriend sees George naked during a weekend at the beach.
TV-PG
7:30 pm
Seinfeld
Fusilli Jerry, The
A mechanic pal (Patrick Warburton) uses Jerry's romantic techniques on Elaine.
TV-PG
8:00 pm
Seinfeld
Soup Nazi, The
Jerry's favorite soup vendor won't serve his new girlfriend (Alexandra Wentworth).
TV-PG
8:30 pm
Seinfeld
Comeback, The
Jerry joins a tennis club; a co-worker's insults test George.
TV-PG
9:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Skywalker Incursion, The
A speaking engagement at UC Berkeley puts Leonard and Sheldon in a galaxy not too far, far away from their idol George Lucas' Skywalker Ranch, and they considrer dropping by.
TV-PG
9:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Fortification Implementation, The
When Sheldon and Amy build a blanket fort, they come to a big crossroad in their relationship. And Wolowitz is shocked when a man claiming to be his half-brother he never knew he had shows up at his front door. And, when Penny is invited to appear on Wil Wheaton's podcast, she and Leonard have a huge, on-air argument.
TV-PG
10:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Communication Deterioration, The
In the event of Alien contact, NASA asks Raj to craft a message for the extraterrestrials, and the guys battle over how it should be handled. Meanwhile, Penny must decide between auditioning for a film role or keeping her job in pharmaceutical sales.
TV-PG
10:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Graduation Transmission, The
Wolowitz questions his engineering abilities when he and Sheldon can't get a drone to fly. Meanwhile, a canceled flight nearly prevents Leonard from giving the commencement address at his former high school. And Raj pits his parents against each other when his father cuts him off financially.
TV-PG
11:00 pm
Conan (CC)
Episode 71018
Guests: Chelsea Handler, Scott Eastwood, The Regrettes
TV-14
12:00 am
Seinfeld
Apartment, The
Jerry regrets encouraging Elaine to move into his building.
TV-PG
12:30 am
Conan (CC)
Episode 71018
Guests: Chelsea Handler, Scott Eastwood, The Regrettes
TV-14
1:30 am
Seinfeld
Stranded, The
Waiting for a ride, Jerry and Elaine keep a party's host up late.
TV-PG
2:00 am
2 Broke Girls (DVS)
And the Messy Purse Smackdown
Caroline promises Earl that she will drop his tax return in the mail but when she learns that Max has never filed her taxes, she gets sidetracked trying to help Max.
TV-14
2:30 am
2 Broke Girls (DVS)
And the Big Buttercream Breakthrough
Max's babysitting gig with Peach is in peril if the cupcakes she and Caroline deliver to Peach's socialite friend aren't perfect.
TV-14
3:00 am
Movie
Rudy
All his life, people have told Rudy he's not good enough, not smart enough, not big enough. But nothing can stop his impossible dream of playing football for Notre Dame. From the time he's a young boy, Rudy is determined to join the Fighting Irish. But his blue collar family only laughs at his ambitions - they know Rudy will follow his father and brothers to the local steel mill. And, for four long years after high school, he does just that. But some dreams won't die, as Rudy proves when he goes to heroic lengths to win admission to Notre Dame. Once there, he becomes a walk-on player, serving as little more than a human tackling dummy against the starting players. Bloodied but unbeaten, Rudy wins the respect of legendary coach Ara Parseghian and the other Irish players, who give him one shot at gridiron glory.
TV-PG
5:30 am
Married With Children
Pilot
Al and Peg Bundy meet their newlywed neighbors, Steve and Marcy Rhoades. Peg informs Marcy how to train her new husband, while Al teaches Steve how to be a man again.
TV-PG
 

Friday, July 7

6:00 am
Married With Children
Thinergy
Marcy enlightens Peggy with a new diet book called Thinergy, a program which only works if both partners go through it together.
TV-PG
6:30 am
Married With Children
But I Didn't Shoot the Deputy
Steve and Marcy buy a huge watch dog which annoys Al with his constant barking. But when Peggy hears a noise in the night, Al accidentally shoots the dog.
TV-PG
7:00 am
Married With Children
Whose Room Is It Anyway?
The Rhoades get a tax refund and they decide to build a room, but can't decide on what kind of room to build, a pool room for Al or an exercise room for Peggy.
TV-PG
7:30 am
Married With Children
Have You Driven a Ford Lately?
Al and Steve buy a classic Mustang and become consumed in restoring back to mint condition.
TV-PG
8:00 am
Married With Children
Sixteen Years and What Do You Get?
Al's credit card is maxed out when he tries to find a gift for Peggy on their anniversary.
TV-PG
8:30 am
Married With Children
Married ... Without Children
Al and Peg run away for the weekend and leave Bud and Kelly with the Rhoades, who've underestimated their intelligence.
TV-PG
9:00 am
King of Queens, The
Home Cheapo
Carrie is convinced Deacon and Kelly were only able to afford a vacation home by being cheap. Meanwhile, Arthur tries to help Spence get a new job.
TV-PG
9:30 am
King of Queens, The
Affair Trade
Doug panics when he starts getting sexy phone messages meant for another Doug Heffernan, but Carrie doesn't seem to care. Meanwhile, Danny tries to force a wedge between Spence and a new lady friend.
TV-PG
10:00 am
King of Queens, The
Offensive Fowl
Carrie soon grows tired of Doug's forcing his new vegetarian lifestyle down her throat. Meanwhile, Carrie's boss wants to start discussing novels with her, and Spence takes on some humiliating new jobs.
TV-PG
10:30 am
King of Queens, The
Mild Bunch
Doug's 20th high school reunion seems like a dud until an old friend comes up with a way to retaliate for past grievances with their old principal, while Danny and Spence try to hook up with old classmates. Carrie and Arthur try to have a movie night together.
TV-14
11:00 am
Cleveland Show, The
Pilot
Cleveland and his overweight 14-year-old son say goodbye to Quahog and set out for California. Along the way, Cleveland stops in his old hometown, where he eventually marries former classmate Donna Tubbs.
TV-14
11:30 am
Cleveland Show, The
Da Doggone Daddy-Daughter Dinner Dance
Cleveland asks Roberta to accompany him to a daddy/daughter dance at school, but his hopes of establishing a bond are torpedoed after he accidentally runs over the family's dog.
TV-14
12:00 pm
American Dad
She Swill Survive
Stan is tired of Hayley being lazy and unemployed, so he forces her to take a job in Roger's bar. Deputy Director Bullock is a regular at the bar, and he confesses his secrets to Hayley.
TV-14
12:30 pm
American Dad
Rubberneckers
Stan and Francine go out to dinner and Francine catches Stan looking at another woman. Stan tells his co-workers that he got caught and the co-workers teach Stan about Rubbernecking, the art of checking out other woman on the sly.
TV-14
1:00 pm
American Dad (DVS)
Permanent Record Wrecker
Stan is laid off from work and has to search for a job for the first time in over twenty years. When he applies for jobs, Stan learns that his permanent record has been wiped clean of his C.I.A. experience and no one wants to hire him.
TV-14
1:30 pm
American Dad (DVS)
News Glance with Genevieve Vavance
Hayley wants to save the world through investigative journalism so she becomes an intern for a local news reporter. The reporter turns out to be Roger, who gets ratings through sensationalized stories.
TV-14
2:00 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Grimm Job
Stewie is having trouble falling asleep, so Peter decides to read him three fairytales from the Brothers Grimm. As he reads, familiar Quahogians become characters in the stories.
TV-14
2:30 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Brian's a Bad Father
Brian receives a call from his son, Dylan Flannigan, who wants to reconnect with him. At first, Brian is hesitant to meet up, but changes his tune when he discovers Dylan is the star of a new television show.
TV-14
3:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One with the Cuffs, The
Monica tries to prove her mother wrong. Chandler gets into an embarrassing situation while dating Rachel's boss.
TV-14
3:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One with the Ballroom Dancing, The
Joey makes an odd deal with the building superintendent to prevent him from evicting Rachel and Monica. Phoebe wants to date her sexy massage client.
TV-PG
4:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One with Joey's New Girlfriend, The
Joey thinks Chandler hates Joey's new girlfriend--but the truth could be even more upsetting. Ross and Rachel try to make each other jealous.
TV-14
4:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One with the Dirty Girl, The
Ross' beautiful new girlfriend has a disgusting secret. Chandler becomes more familiar with Joey's girlfriend.
TV-PG
5:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One Where Chandler Crosses the Line, The
Chandler is guilt-ridden after kissing Joey's girlfriend. Ross' musical talents are not as amazing as he and Phoebe think.
TV-PG
5:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One Where They're Going to Party!, The
The guys try to be spontaneous and wild. After Monica gives a bad restaurant review, she receives a new career opportunity. Rachel's boss offers her a promotion.
TV-PG
6:00 pm
Seinfeld
Yada Yada, The
George realizes his girlfriend's slang may leave out vital information.
TV-PG
6:30 pm
Seinfeld
Merv Griffin Show, The
Jerry dates a toy collector; Kramer thinks he finds a TV show's furniture set.
TV-PG
7:00 pm
Seinfeld
Betrayal, The
Elaine drags Jerry and George to a wedding in India; Kramer's life is threatened.
TV-PG
7:30 pm
Seinfeld
Strike, The
George's father invents a new holiday; Kramer returns to work at the bagel shop.
TV-PG
8:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Maternal Combustion, The
Leonard and Sheldon's mothers come to town to celebrate their sons getting an award, but the opinionated women engage in an altercation over religion.
TV-PG
8:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Commitment Determination, The
In the Season 8 finale, Leonard and Penny are pressured to set a wedding date by Sheldon, whose relationship with Amy has taken an interesting turn.
TV-14
9:00 pm
Movie (DVS)
Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers, The
As Frodo and Sam infiltrate Mordor, their allies try to protect Rohan from the evil Sauron.
TV-PG
1:00 am
Movie (DVS)
Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King, The
The Fellowship of the Ring fights its last desperate battle to save Middle Earth from the forces of evil.
TV-PG
5:30 am
Everybody Loves Raymond (SAP)
Pants on Fire
Marie discovers Ray threw a wild party as a teenager.
TV-PG