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SCHEDULE: October 2014

Times listed for EASTERN and PACIFIC timezones except where otherwise noted.

Friday, October 24

6:00 am
Full House
Driving Miss D.J.
D.J. receives her learner's permit to drive, but Danny is too nervous to be a good instructor. Jesse volunteers to take over, but after D.J. scratches his car, he too, hesitates to teach her.
TV-G
6:30 am
Rules of Engagement
Timmy Quits
TV-PG
7:00 am
Married With Children
Ship Happens (2)
The Bundys' and D'Arcy's Caribbean cruise is ruined when the ship sinks.
TV-PG
7:30 am
Married With Children
And Bingo was Her Game-O
Peggy wins $10,000 playing Bingo. Meanwhile, NO MA'AM chooses their official beer.
TV-PG
8:00 am
King of Queens, The
Wild Cards
Doug hides his losing trip to Atlantic City from Carrie.
TV-PG
8:30 am
King of Queens, The
Surprise Artie
Carrie's surprise birthday party for Arthur is ruined when Doug loses the guest of honor.
TV-PG
9:00 am
Movie
I Love You, Man
Peter Klaven is a successful real estate agent who, upon getting engaged to the woman of his dreams, Zooey, discovers, to his dismay and chagrin, that he has no male friend close enough to serve as his Best Man. Peter immediately sets out to rectify the situation, embarking on a series of bizarre and awkward "man-dates," before meeting Sydney Fife, a charming, opinionated man with whom he instantly bonds. But the closer the two men get, the more Peter's relationship with Zooey suffers, ultimately forcing him to choose between his fiancée and his new found "bro," in a story that comically explores what it truly means to be a "friend."
TV-14
11:00 am
America's Funniest Home Videos
AFHV #2105
State spotlight: Florida and worth another look
TV-G
12:00 pm
Cleveland Show, The
Our Gang
After taking a group of delinquent teens under his wing, Cleveland encourages the kids to start a cookie business...which the kids misinterpret as advice on dealing drugs.
TV-14
12:30 pm
Cleveland Show, The
Buried Pleasure
After he learns about Holt's sex doll, Cleveland sets up Holt with a coworker named Jane, who turns out to be a bully; Cleveland Jr. accidentally consumes Rallo's pet fish.
TV-14
1:00 pm
American Dad
Wheels & The Legman And The Case of Grandpa's Key
Stan joins Wheels and the Legman as they attempt to solve a mystery involving a key; Klaus has his photo taken for a pet Web site.
TV-14
1:30 pm
American Dad
Old Stan in the Mountain
An old man places a hex on Stan, making him age at an alarming rate; Roger and Francine rehearse for a dance competition...but Roger has something up his sleeve.
TV-14
2:00 pm
Family Guy (SAP)
Life of Brian
While visiting 17th century Jamestown in his time machine, Stewie gives guns to the Native Americans in an effort to be amiable. Back in the present, Stewie and Brian are surprised to discover that Native Americans are now in control of the entire country.
TV-14
2:30 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Mother Tucker
Peter's mom announces that she is getting a divorce; Peter finds a father figure in anchorman Tom Tucker; Brian gets his own radio show.
TV-14
3:00 pm
Robot Chicken
Toy Meets Girl
William Shatner's toupee has adventures the action star can only dream of. Heaven's not all it's cracked up to be in "Can We Handle the Truth" Hilary Duff's new film combines history and teen drama in an updated The Diary of Anne Frank. The fates of the greatest action figure toy lines from decades past are exposed in "Where Are They Now"
TV-14
3:15 pm
Robot Chicken
Midnight Snack
"The World's Most One-Sided Fistfights" get wild at Mardi Gras. Benjamin Franklin grapples with historical figures like the Wright Brothers and Mahatma Gandhi in "Educational Wrestling Federation."
TV-14
3:30 pm
Childrens Hospital
Coffee Machine Paid for Itself, The
A hip sexy Rabbi (David Wain) arrives and seduces Valerie, angering Glenn; Sy faces a moral dilemma involving a coffee machine; Lola is confused by a mysterious organ in a cooler.
TV-14
3:45 pm
Childrens Hospital
Show Me on Montana
"Take Your Daughter to Work" day at the hospital ignites a series of conflicts involving a leering child molester (Steve Agee), Chief's sexy daughter (Lizzy Caplan), and an 11 year-old patient whose gender is yet to be determined.
TV-14
4:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One in Vegas (Part 1), The
The gang travels to Las Vegas, Nevada, where more than one surprise awaits. After Ross misinterprets Rachel's actions, a war of public humiliation results.
TV-PG
4:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One in Vegas (Part 2), The
Monica and Chandler get lucky in Las Vegas, Nevada. Rachel makes Ross regret playing a prank on her. Joey schemes for fame and fortune.
TV-PG
5:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One After Vegas, The
Two of the friends leave Las Vegas married. Joey and Phoebe have a cross-country adventure.
TV-PG
5:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One Where Ross Hugs Rachel, The
Monica is bewildered by Rachel's reaction to a change in their living arrangement. Phoebe tries to make Ross confront his feelings for Rachel.
TV-PG
6:00 pm
Seinfeld
Masseuse, The
Jerry can't get his masseuse girlfriend to give him a massage.
TV-PG
6:30 pm
Seinfeld
Cigar Store Indian, The
Jerry's gift to Elaine offends Elaine's friend; guest Al Roker.
TV-PG
7:00 pm
Seinfeld
Conversion, The
Jerry thinks his girlfriend has a fungus; George converts.
TV-PG
7:30 pm
Seinfeld
Stall, The
Elaine's toilet stall has no tissue; George acts giddy around Elaine's boyfriend (Dan Cortese); guest Jami Gertz.
TV-PG
8:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Mommy Observation, The
While Sheldon and Howard continue their bonding holiday to Houston Texas; Sheldon's surprise visit to see his Mommy forces him to start addressing a new reality. Meanwhile the rest of the gang are subjected to a surprise Koothrappali "Murder Mystery" party that leads the gang to speculate where they might all be 20 years from now.
TV-PG
8:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Indecision Amalgamation, The
Raj wrestles with dating two women at the same time; Penny is offered a part in a trashy movie; and Sheldon can't decide between two gaming systems.
TV-PG
9:00 pm
Deal With It
Howie Mandel & Nick Cannon, again
EMBARRASSING PARENT: After describing her scandalous bedroom behavior, a mother takes safe sex lessons a little too far in front of her mortified daughter. Co-host: Nick Cannon. EASILY HURT: A picture is worth a thousand words. That is, unless you're this contestant's girlfriend, who has to deal with her boyfriend's clumsy attempts at communication after biting his own tongue. Co-host: Howie Mandel.
TV-14
9:30 pm
Movie (DVS)
Yes Man
Carl Allen's life is going nowhere--the operative word being "no"--until he signs up for a self-help program based on one simple covenant: say yes to everything--and anything. Unleashing the power of "YES" begins to transform Carl's life in amazing an unexpected ways, getting him promoted at work and opening the door to a new romance. But his willingness to embrace every opportunity might just become too much of a good thing.
TV-14
11:30 pm
Deal With It
Howie Mandel & Nick Cannon, again
EMBARRASSING PARENT: After describing her scandalous bedroom behavior, a mother takes safe sex lessons a little too far in front of her mortified daughter. Co-host: Nick Cannon. EASILY HURT: A picture is worth a thousand words. That is, unless you're this contestant's girlfriend, who has to deal with her boyfriend's clumsy attempts at communication after biting his own tongue. Co-host: Howie Mandel.
TV-14
12:00 am
Cougar Town (SAP)
You Can Still Change Your Mind
Travis wants to take Jules and Grayson's wedding pictures, but Jules, who wants everything to be perfect for her second wedding, isn't so sure; meanwhile Bobby wants to get serious with Angie (guest star Sarah Chalke), but does she feel the same way, on "Cougar Town."
TV-PG
12:30 am
Cougar Town (SAP)
Ways to Be Wicked
No one believes Ellie when she tries to convince them that her seemingly lovely mom, Betsy (guest star Susan Blakely), is actually a sociopath; Grayson decides to help Laurie with her dream of opening a cake business, but her reaction isn't what he expected; and Bobby and Chick (Ken Jenkins) help Travis and his buddies in their plan to steal the campus cougar statue, on "Cougar Town."
TV-PG
1:00 am
Movie
You, Me and Dupree
Carl and Molly have found the one unfortunate hitch in their perfectly constructed newly wedded world: Dupree. A slacker with the soul of a poet, Dupree just can''t seem to catch a break from "The Man." When he takes a week off to go be the best-man at Carl and Molly''s wedding in Hawaii, Dupree gets the unceremonious heave-ho from his boss. Now jobless, car-less and evicted from the cot at his favorite watering hole, he just needs to crash with the Petersons for a couple of days; okay, maybe a month or so. At first, Carl is psyched to have the couch guest while Molly bears the brunt of Dupree''s well-meaning antics. But, as Carl becomes buried in his grown-up job of land development and headaches, he finds it hard to juggle Dupree and his newlywed responsibilities. As time passes, his and Molly''s houseguest uses his ample spare time to become a great companion to her, underscoring Carl''s new workaholic tendencies. Even Molly''s dad begins to fall for Dupree''s carefree wisdom, frustrating Carl to no end. Soon, everyone--but Carl--begins to root for Dupree to stick around. But just as the impish buddy starts becoming a fixture in the Petersons'' home, three becomes not just a crowd, but a full-blown comic catastrophe. As the couple realizes their ideas of a white-picket fence marriage are morphing, their loveable pal serves as a daily reminder that finding your inner Dupree might just be one of life''s hidden secrets
TV-14
3:00 am
Movie
I Love You, Man
Peter Klaven is a successful real estate agent who, upon getting engaged to the woman of his dreams, Zooey, discovers, to his dismay and chagrin, that he has no male friend close enough to serve as his Best Man. Peter immediately sets out to rectify the situation, embarking on a series of bizarre and awkward "man-dates," before meeting Sydney Fife, a charming, opinionated man with whom he instantly bonds. But the closer the two men get, the more Peter's relationship with Zooey suffers, ultimately forcing him to choose between his fiancée and his new found "bro," in a story that comically explores what it truly means to be a "friend."
TV-14
5:00 am
Married With Children
Undergraduate, The
A twelve year old boy with a crush on Kelly gets her to go to his junior prom with him.
TV-PG
5:30 am
Married With Children
User Friendly
While Al and his friends tries to find out what a light switch in the Bundy house do, Bud experiences cyber sex... with Amber.
TV-PG
 

Saturday, October 25

6:00 am
Married With Children
Shoeless Al
Al can't wear shoes because of his phony lawsuit against the mall.
TV-PG
6:30 am
Married With Children
Pump Fiction
Al and Kelly make a short film about shoes, and they end up getting $10,000 dollars to produce another one.
TV-PG
7:00 am
Married With Children
Babe in Toyland, A
Kelly becomes a prima donna after being asked to fill in on a popular children's television program.
TV-PG
7:30 am
Married With Children
Radio Free Trumaine
In an attempt for a spinoff, we follow the lives of DJs Oliver Cole and Mark Campbell at a local radio station at Bud's college. Oliver and Mark risk being expelled for revealing the truth about dean Steve Rhoades' past.
TV-PG
8:00 am
King of Queens, The
Big Dougie
Doug becomes a Big Brother and attempts a 10k run.
TV-PG
8:30 am
King of Queens, The
Soft Touch
Doug is lured into a pyramid scheme that requires him to sell water filters.
TV-PG
9:00 am
King of Queens, The
Restaurant Row
Carrie forbids Doug from eating at his favorite Italian restaurant.
TV-PG
9:30 am
King of Queens, The
Whine Country
A coin toss decides the destination for Doug and Carrie's vacation; Arthur and Spence join Doug and Carrie on vacation.
TV-PG
10:00 am
Movie
American Wedding
With Great East Falls High now just a memory, the kids have grown into adults ready to wreak havoc with a new rite of passage: Jim and Michelle are getting married--in a hurry. Jim's grandmother is sick and wants to see Jim walk down the aisle, so they're going for it in two frantic weeks. Stifler plans to be there (for the bridesmaids!) and, more importantly, to throw the ultimate bachelor party (for the strippers!). Finch is all for the hedonistic rituals, but not for letting Stifler steal the maid of honor, who happens to be Michelle's sexy younger sister, Cadence. But while everybody else sweats and frets, Jim's Dad is cool as ever, dispensing advice that no one wants to hear and getting ready for one of the best days of his life.
TV-14
12:00 pm
Movie
You, Me and Dupree
Carl and Molly have found the one unfortunate hitch in their perfectly constructed newly wedded world: Dupree. A slacker with the soul of a poet, Dupree just can''t seem to catch a break from "The Man." When he takes a week off to go be the best-man at Carl and Molly''s wedding in Hawaii, Dupree gets the unceremonious heave-ho from his boss. Now jobless, car-less and evicted from the cot at his favorite watering hole, he just needs to crash with the Petersons for a couple of days; okay, maybe a month or so. At first, Carl is psyched to have the couch guest while Molly bears the brunt of Dupree''s well-meaning antics. But, as Carl becomes buried in his grown-up job of land development and headaches, he finds it hard to juggle Dupree and his newlywed responsibilities. As time passes, his and Molly''s houseguest uses his ample spare time to become a great companion to her, underscoring Carl''s new workaholic tendencies. Even Molly''s dad begins to fall for Dupree''s carefree wisdom, frustrating Carl to no end. Soon, everyone--but Carl--begins to root for Dupree to stick around. But just as the impish buddy starts becoming a fixture in the Petersons'' home, three becomes not just a crowd, but a full-blown comic catastrophe. As the couple realizes their ideas of a white-picket fence marriage are morphing, their loveable pal serves as a daily reminder that finding your inner Dupree might just be one of life''s hidden secrets
TV-14
2:00 pm
Movie (DVS)
Yes Man
Carl Allen's life is going nowhere--the operative word being "no"--until he signs up for a self-help program based on one simple covenant: say yes to everything--and anything. Unleashing the power of "YES" begins to transform Carl's life in amazing an unexpected ways, getting him promoted at work and opening the door to a new romance. But his willingness to embrace every opportunity might just become too much of a good thing.
TV-14
4:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With Ross' Denial, The
Despite Phoebe's admonitions, Ross makes a drastic decision about Rachel. Chandler and Monica bicker over their living arrangements.
TV-PG
4:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One Where Joey Loses His Insurance, The
Injured Joey must get an acting part in order to qualify for health insurance. Rachel finally learns the truth about her marriage to Ross.
TV-PG
5:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With Joey's Porsche, The
Rachel forces Ross to terminate their marriage. Phoebe's first triplet baby-sitting experience proves stressful. Joey pretends to own a sports car.
TV-PG
5:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One on the Last Night, The
The guys and the women prepare for big changes in their living arrangements.
TV-PG
6:00 pm
Everybody Loves Raymond (SAP)
Mia Famiglia
Ray's long-lost Italian Aunt Sarina seems too good to be true.
TV-PG
6:30 pm
Everybody Loves Raymond (SAP)
Marie's Meatballs
Ray asks Marie to teach Debra to cook.
TV-PG
7:00 pm
Everybody Loves Raymond (SAP)
Checkbook, The
Ray takes over the family finances.
TV-PG
7:30 pm
Everybody Loves Raymond (SAP)
Ride Along, The
Boredom turns to terror when Ray rides on patrol with Robert.
TV-PG
8:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Transporter Malfunction, The
It's a dream come true for Sheldon when he has a close encounter with his hero, Mr. Spock -- legendary sci-fi icon LEONARD NIMOY.
TV-PG
8:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Hawking Excitation, The
Sheldon has a chance to meet his hero, STEPHEN HAWKING.
TV-PG
9:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Stag Convergence, The
Howard's wedding plans are in jeopardy after the guys (and Wil Wheaton) throw him a bachelor party and details of his sexual history are leaked online.
TV-PG
9:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Launch Acceleration, The
When NASA reschedules Howard's mission and puts his wedding plans in jeopardy, he's forced to face his fears and Bernadette's dad (guest star CASEY SANDER).
TV-PG
10:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Countdown Reflection, The
When Howard and Bernadette decide they want to be married before his NASA space launch, the gang rushes to put on a wedding, on the fifth season finale.
TV-PG
10:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Date Night Variable, The
On the sixth season premiere, Howard discovers that he can't escape his mother -- even in space! Back on earth, meanwhile, Raj turns his existence as a third wheel into an art form.
TV-14
11:00 pm
Deal With It
Howie Mandel & Nick Cannon, again
EMBARRASSING PARENT: After describing her scandalous bedroom behavior, a mother takes safe sex lessons a little too far in front of her mortified daughter. Co-host: Nick Cannon. EASILY HURT: A picture is worth a thousand words. That is, unless you're this contestant's girlfriend, who has to deal with her boyfriend's clumsy attempts at communication after biting his own tongue. Co-host: Howie Mandel.
TV-14
11:30 pm
Movie (DVS)
Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy
Ron Burgundy is the top-rated anchorman in San Diego in the 1970s. When feminism marches into the newsroom in the form of ambitious newswoman Veronica Corningstone, Ron is willing to play along at first--as long as Veronica stays in her place, covering cat fashion shows, cooking, and other "female" interests. But when Veronica refuses to settle for being eye candy and steps behind the news desk, it's more than a battle between two perfectly coiffed anchor-persons--it's war.
TV-14
1:30 am
Movie
American Wedding
With Great East Falls High now just a memory, the kids have grown into adults ready to wreak havoc with a new rite of passage: Jim and Michelle are getting married--in a hurry. Jim's grandmother is sick and wants to see Jim walk down the aisle, so they're going for it in two frantic weeks. Stifler plans to be there (for the bridesmaids!) and, more importantly, to throw the ultimate bachelor party (for the strippers!). Finch is all for the hedonistic rituals, but not for letting Stifler steal the maid of honor, who happens to be Michelle's sexy younger sister, Cadence. But while everybody else sweats and frets, Jim's Dad is cool as ever, dispensing advice that no one wants to hear and getting ready for one of the best days of his life.
TV-14
3:30 am
Married With Children
Shoe Room with a View, A
Al arranges for an aerobics studio to open next to the shoe store.
TV-PG
4:00 am
Married With Children
Guess Who's Coming to Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner
When Bud decides to move out, Peggy's mother arrives to stay.
TV-PG
4:30 am
Married With Children
Requiem for a Dead Briard
The family tries to console Kelly when Buck dies.
TV-PG
5:00 am
Married With Children
Reverend Al
Al and his friends turn No Ma'am into a tax-exempt church.
TV-PG
5:30 am
Married With Children
How Bleen Was My Kelly
Kelly accidentally invents a baldness cure with some unusual side effects.
TV-PG
 

Sunday, October 26

6:00 am
Married With Children
Weaker Sex, The
Al suffers public scorn when Peggy is declared a hero for taking out a pickpocket.
TV-PG
6:30 am
Married With Children
Flight of the Bumblebee
Bud takes on wrestler King Kong Bundy as his initiation into "No Ma'am."
TV-PG
7:00 am
King of Queens, The
Flower Power
Carrie thinks Doug has lost his romantic side; Arthur is called for jury duty.
TV-PG
7:30 am
King of Queens, The
Sight Gag
Doug's gift to Carrie of corneal surgery results in her temporary blindness.
TV-PG
8:00 am
Friends (SAP)
One Where Phoebe Runs, The
Chandler learns how obsessively neat Monica is when he attempts to do her a favor. Joey desperately tries not to flirt with his sexy new roommate (ELLE MACPHERSON).
TV-PG
8:30 am
Friends (SAP)
One With Ross's Teeth, The
The guys explore their femininity. Phoebe causes trouble when she kisses someone at Rachel's work.
TV-PG
9:00 am
Friends (SAP)
One With the Apothecary Table, The
Joey finally dates Janine (ELLE MACPHERSON), but she doesn't like his friends. Rachel worries that Phoebe won't appreciate the way she furnishes their apartment
TV-PG
9:30 am
Friends (SAP)
One With The Joke, The
Ross and Chandler bicker over which of them created a raunchy joke. Phoebe antagonizes Monica and Rachel with her candor. Joey reluctantly takes a waiter job at Central Perk.
TV-PG
10:00 am
Movie
Cop Out
Two longtime NYPD partners on the trail of a stolen, rare, mint-condition baseball card find themselves up against a merciless, memorabilia-obsessed gangster. But before they can recover the prized `52 Pafko, they must first rescue a Mexican beauty who holds the key to millions of dollars in off-shore bank accounts-and who has already witnessed one high-profile murder because of them. Veteran detective Jimmy Monr needs to cash in on his perfect Pafko in order to pay for his daughter''s upcoming wedding, but in the tradition of everything that can go wrong--it''s pilfered before he has a chance to collect. Paul Hodges is Jimmy''s partner-against-crime, whose preoccupation with his wife''s alleged infidelity makes it hard for him to keep his eye on the ball, or his mind on the crime. Already in trouble and with nothing left to lose, Jimmy and Paul will have to break all the rules-including enlisting the aid of stoner thief Dave, who''s working Paul''s last nerve as Paul and Jimmy try to work the case.
TV-14
12:15 pm
Movie
Zoolander
The international misadventures of fashion model Derek Zoolander, who is hired to stop a secret cartel of political assassins posing as male models. Derek soon discovers the horrifying secret of why no male models live past the age of thirty. While Derek tries to infiltrate the fashion/assassin clique led by the mean-spirited designer Mugatu, he must also contend with Hansel, a dense, on-the-rise male model who threatens to sabotage his mission--as well as his modeling career.
TV-14
2:15 pm
Movie
Not Another Teen Movie
What a year at John Hughes High! The Wasp football team goes all the way -- into the cellar, that is, when quarterback Jake Wyler makes an errant pass and Reggie Ray racks up his umpteenth concussion. Things perk up at a dazzling year-end prom when conjoined twins Kara and Sally Fratelli are crowned prom queens. Other highlights from this year include a nasty toilet explosion that drops in the middle of Mr. Keller's English class, Jake fails to seduce Janey with a human whipped cream sundae and Janey is apprehended by police after Jake's moving serenade of Aerosmith's "Janey's Got a Gun". Many new faces deck the halls this year, including Sadie, a 90 year-old undercover reporter and foreign exchange student Areola, who becomes the object of lust for all American nerds. Malik continues to be the "token black guy," Catherine is still in love with her brother, Bruce still thinks he's Asian, and Ox is still a virgin...
TV-14
4:00 pm
Movie (DVS)
Blades of Glory
Perhaps nowhere in sports is the marriage of athleticism and grace more evident than in the arena of world champion pairs figure skating--the lifts, the jumps, the routines. It''s an elegant world, a rarefied universe, a noble place populated by the crème de la crème of skating elite. Well, it used to be. When the macho, swaggering Chazz Michael Michaels takes to the rink, he is the rock star of the arena, leaving a trail of thrashed ice and shrieking female fans in his wake. The only competitor who can match Michaels'' scores is the driven former child prodigy, Jimmy MacElroy. Spotted as a youth executing triple lutzes on the frozen pond of an orphanage, MacElroy was whisked away to days of endless training, and now stands as the picture of poise, the personification of the highest ideals of the men''s sport. Michaels and MacElroy have met in finals rounds before, but their latest head-to-head at the World Championships--when they tie for first--is more than either one can bear, and their longstanding rivalry erupts into a no-holds-barred fight. The ensuing brawl not only sets fire to the World Championship''s helpless mascot, but lands both athletes in hot water: Chazz and Jimmy are called before the sport''s governing board, stripped of their gold medals and banned from the sport for life. Now, three-and-a-half years later, both men are still trying to find their way in a world without competitive skating. Michaels has devolved into a drunken party machine, skating as a costumed evil wizard in a kiddie ice review, and MacElroy has been banished to the shoe department of a chain sporting goods store. But then, inspiration (in the form of an over-friendly, former stalker of Jimmy''s) strikes, and a loophole emerges. To skate again, all Chazz and Jimmy have to do is set aside their long festering hatred of one another and join forces--as the first male/male figure skating pair to compete in the history of the sport.
TV-14
6:00 pm
Movie (DVS)
Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy
Ron Burgundy is the top-rated anchorman in San Diego in the 1970s. When feminism marches into the newsroom in the form of ambitious newswoman Veronica Corningstone, Ron is willing to play along at first--as long as Veronica stays in her place, covering cat fashion shows, cooking, and other "female" interests. But when Veronica refuses to settle for being eye candy and steps behind the news desk, it's more than a battle between two perfectly coiffed anchor-persons--it's war.
TV-14
8:00 pm
Movie (DVS)
Campaign, The
When congressman Cam Brady commits a major, public faux pas before an election, two wealthy CEOs see an opportunity to gain influence over their North Carolina district by putting up their own candidate for the job. Their man is Marty Huggins, the naïve director of the local tourism center. At first, Marty is an improbable candidate, but with the help of his backers, a ruthless campaign manager and his family's political connections, he soon becomes a real threat to Cam's reelection.
TV-14
10:00 pm
Movie (DVS)
Campaign, The
When congressman Cam Brady commits a major, public faux pas before an election, two wealthy CEOs see an opportunity to gain influence over their North Carolina district by putting up their own candidate for the job. Their man is Marty Huggins, the naïve director of the local tourism center. At first, Marty is an improbable candidate, but with the help of his backers, a ruthless campaign manager and his family's political connections, he soon becomes a real threat to Cam's reelection.
TV-14
12:00 am
Movie (DVS)
Blades of Glory
Perhaps nowhere in sports is the marriage of athleticism and grace more evident than in the arena of world champion pairs figure skating--the lifts, the jumps, the routines. It''s an elegant world, a rarefied universe, a noble place populated by the crème de la crème of skating elite. Well, it used to be. When the macho, swaggering Chazz Michael Michaels takes to the rink, he is the rock star of the arena, leaving a trail of thrashed ice and shrieking female fans in his wake. The only competitor who can match Michaels'' scores is the driven former child prodigy, Jimmy MacElroy. Spotted as a youth executing triple lutzes on the frozen pond of an orphanage, MacElroy was whisked away to days of endless training, and now stands as the picture of poise, the personification of the highest ideals of the men''s sport. Michaels and MacElroy have met in finals rounds before, but their latest head-to-head at the World Championships--when they tie for first--is more than either one can bear, and their longstanding rivalry erupts into a no-holds-barred fight. The ensuing brawl not only sets fire to the World Championship''s helpless mascot, but lands both athletes in hot water: Chazz and Jimmy are called before the sport''s governing board, stripped of their gold medals and banned from the sport for life. Now, three-and-a-half years later, both men are still trying to find their way in a world without competitive skating. Michaels has devolved into a drunken party machine, skating as a costumed evil wizard in a kiddie ice review, and MacElroy has been banished to the shoe department of a chain sporting goods store. But then, inspiration (in the form of an over-friendly, former stalker of Jimmy''s) strikes, and a loophole emerges. To skate again, all Chazz and Jimmy have to do is set aside their long festering hatred of one another and join forces--as the first male/male figure skating pair to compete in the history of the sport.
TV-14
2:00 am
Movie
Zoolander
The international misadventures of fashion model Derek Zoolander, who is hired to stop a secret cartel of political assassins posing as male models. Derek soon discovers the horrifying secret of why no male models live past the age of thirty. While Derek tries to infiltrate the fashion/assassin clique led by the mean-spirited designer Mugatu, he must also contend with Hansel, a dense, on-the-rise male model who threatens to sabotage his mission--as well as his modeling career.
TV-14
4:00 am
Married With Children
Blonde and Blonder
Kelly's class reunion becomes the scene for an ex-nerd's revenge.
TV-PG
4:30 am
Married With Children
Dud Bowl II
Marcy is determined to keep Polk High's new football scoreboard from being named after Al.
TV-PG
5:00 am
Married With Children
Bearly Men
Al must prove himself a man so his father-in-law will take Peggy's mom back home.
TV-PG
5:30 am
Married With Children
Two That Got Away, The
Bumped from their fishing lodge cabin, Al and Jefferson seek revenge against actress Shannon Tweed.
TV-PG
 

Monday, October 27

6:00 am
Full House
Yours, Mine and Ours
Danny's plans for a fun night out with the family are doomed by the group's bad attitude. Meanwhile, Jesse and Rebecca quarrel over how to raise their twins.
TV-G
6:30 am
Rules of Engagement
Wee Problem, A
TV-PG
7:00 am
Married With Children
I Can't Believe It's Butter
Al forces Peggy's mom to get a job right before Christmas.
TV-PG
7:30 am
Married With Children
Love Conquers Al
Peggy takes Al and her parents to a marriage therapy retreat.
TV-PG
8:00 am
King of Queens, The
Walk, Man
In an effort to spend more time with Carrie, Doug hires someone to take Arthur for a walk three times a week.
TV-PG
8:30 am
King of Queens, The
Friender Bender
Doug hits and damages Deacon and Kelly's car.
TV-PG
9:00 am
Movie
Lara Croft: Tomb Raider
Lara Croft was born into wealth and groomed at the most elite schools. She travels to dangerous and mysterious locales around the globe in search of rare, lost crypts and long-forgotten empires. She speaks numerous languages, is highly trained for combat and answers to no one, obeying only a desire for adventure. But now she must face her greatest challenge yet: to find two halves of an ancient artifact buried in space and time. To possess it means ultimate power for its possessor. But to get there, she must first take on a powerful and dangerous secret society.
TV-14
11:00 am
America's Funniest Home Videos
AFHV #2106
Halloween and 28 monsters in 39 seconds
TV-G
12:00 pm
Cleveland Show, The
Curious Case of Jr. Working at the Stool, The
Cleveland Jr. takes a job at The Broken Stool, where he infuriates his father by establishing rules; Roberta competes with Lacey, a rich high school student.
TV-14
12:30 pm
Cleveland Show, The
Once Upon a Tyne in New York
Cleveland takes Donna to New York City, but ends up spending most of his time bailing out his friends when they get into trouble; Coach McFall tries to reunite with his former love, actress Tyne Daly.
TV-14
1:00 pm
American Dad
Wrestler, The
Stan panics when Barry comes close to toppling his longstanding wrestling record at Steve's school.and ends up teaching Roger how to wrestle so he can defeat Barry.
TV-14
1:30 pm
American Dad
Dr. Klaustus
After tricking Roger into going to Iraq, Klaus assumes the role of the Smiths' psychologist, but his emphasis on emotional honesty backfires.
TV-14
2:00 pm
American Dad
Stan's Best Friend
When Steve's new puppy is gravely injured, Stan attempts to save the dog using a doctor who specializes in alternative medicine.
TV-14
2:30 pm
American Dad
Less Money, Mo' Problems
Stan bets Jeff and Hayley that he and Fran can live on minimum wage for one month; Roger and Steve test-drive a Ferrari after Klaus brags about having driven one.
TV-14
3:00 pm
Robot Chicken
Celebrity Rocket
Mexico builds its greatest hero in The Six Million Peso Man. That old dancing guy from the Six Flags commercials saves-and ruins-the day. Two aliens from Space Invaders revolt. A cleaning woman finds the Batcave the hard way. Lindsay Lohan enters the world of Highlander and battles teen starlet foes.
TV-14
3:15 pm
Robot Chicken
Dragon Nuts
People of all ages love the new toy, Morning Wood! A man's groin is possessed in Idle Nuts. Live in fear when a giant midget attacks! A cleaning woman finds the Batcave the hard way. Atreyu and Falcor kick off a Neverending Party! An evening news broadcast spins out of control.
TV-14
3:30 pm
Childrens Hospital
You Know No One Can Hear You, Right?
The abortion debate is brought into relief by a visit from a prominent Senator (Ed Begley, Jr.); Owen must decide whether he can treat the 10-year-old who beats him daily; Sy finally faces his alcoholism.
TV-14
3:45 pm
Childrens Hospital
Sultan's Finger - LIVE, The
In a special live episode, a visiting Sultan needs emergency surgery; Blake faces a crucial decision about his clown make-up; Glenn cuts off his finger for Valerie.á A surprise ending reveals the shocking the truth about one of the doctors, shattering everyone's perceptions.á SEASON FINALE.
TV-14
4:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One Where Phoebe Runs, The
Chandler learns how obsessively neat Monica is when he attempts to do her a favor. Joey desperately tries not to flirt with his sexy new roommate (ELLE MACPHERSON).
TV-PG
4:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With Ross's Teeth, The
The guys explore their femininity. Phoebe causes trouble when she kisses someone at Rachel's work.
TV-PG
5:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With the Apothecary Table, The
Joey finally dates Janine (ELLE MACPHERSON), but she doesn't like his friends. Rachel worries that Phoebe won't appreciate the way she furnishes their apartment
TV-PG
5:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With The Joke, The
Ross and Chandler bicker over which of them created a raunchy joke. Phoebe antagonizes Monica and Rachel with her candor. Joey reluctantly takes a waiter job at Central Perk.
TV-PG
6:00 pm
Seinfeld
Marine Biologist, The
George poses as a marine biologist; guest Carol Kane.
TV-PG
6:30 pm
Seinfeld
Dinner Party, The
The gang shops for last-minute gifts for a dinner party.
TV-PG
7:00 pm
Seinfeld
Pie, The
A date's refusal to eat pie obsesses Jerry; a mannequin resembles Elaine; guest Lane Davies.
TV-PG
7:30 pm
Seinfeld
Stand-In, The
Kramer is a stand-in on a soap opera; George wants to break up with a girlfriend.
TV-PG
8:00 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Peter Problems
TV-14
8:30 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Brian's a Bad Father
Brian receives a call from his son, Dylan Flannigan, who wants to reconnect with him. At first, Brian is hesitant to meet up, but changes his tune when he discovers Dylan is the star of a new television show.
TV-14
9:00 pm
American Dad
CIAPOW
When Bullock sends a drone to do the job Stan and his colleagues are supposed to do, Stan is determined to prove that humans are better than robots. Meanwhile, Francine and the rest of the family participate in a slow motion race against each other in the living room.
TV-14
9:30 pm
American Dad
Steve and Snot's Test-Tubular Adventure
Stan reveals that the C.I.A. has a cloning machine at work. Steve and Snot decide to use the machine to clone girls so that they will finally have prom dates. The cloning process backfires as the girls emerge as babies.
TV-14
10:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Decoupling Fluctuation, The
When Sheldon learns that Penny is thinking about breaking up with Leonard, he tries to intervene. Meanwhile, Howard is being picked on in space by the other astronauts.
10:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Higgs Boson Observation, The
Amy's nervous when Sheldon hires Alex, a female assistant.
TV-PG
11:00 pm
Conan (CC)
Episode 4640
Guests: Bear Hands
TV-14
12:00 am
Cougar Town (SAP)
Money Becomes King
Jules and Grayson can't see eye to eye when it comes to joining their finances, but they're both going to have to make some sacrifices if they actually want to get married -- and that is not going to be easy. Meanwhile, Laurie's Krazy Kakes business is doing surprisingly well, and Travis convinces her to make some grown up decisions of her own, on "Cougar Town."
TV-PG
12:30 am
Conan (CC)
Episode 4640
Guests: Bear Hands
TV-14
1:30 am
Cougar Town (SAP)
Southern Accents
Jules has a hard time accepting that Holly (guest star Briga Heelan) is part of her life, a situation that does not improve after she finds out that Holly and Travis made out; Andy wants to run for mayor so he can change the town rules against weddings on the beach (something Jules has her heart set on), but Ellie won't let him; and Laurie tries to convince Bobby he's just socially inept, not prejudiced, after he blurts out some awkward comments at the cake shop, on "Cougar Town."
TV-PG
2:00 am
Movie
Lara Croft: Tomb Raider
Lara Croft was born into wealth and groomed at the most elite schools. She travels to dangerous and mysterious locales around the globe in search of rare, lost crypts and long-forgotten empires. She speaks numerous languages, is highly trained for combat and answers to no one, obeying only a desire for adventure. But now she must face her greatest challenge yet: to find two halves of an ancient artifact buried in space and time. To possess it means ultimate power for its possessor. But to get there, she must first take on a powerful and dangerous secret society.
TV-14
4:00 am
Married With Children
Hood, the Bud and the Kelly (1), The
To keep Kelly as a client, Bud sets out to produce a sexy exercise video.
TV-PG
4:30 am
Married With Children
Hood, the Bud and the Kelly (2), The
In order to save his life, Bud must finish his exercise video on time.
TV-PG
5:00 am
Married With Children
Calendar Girl
Al uses Bud's class project to beat out a rival shoe store owner.
TV-PG
5:30 am
Married With Children
Spring Break (1)
As Kelly and her friends trick Bud's fraternity out of their spring break in Florida, Al and Griff join Jefferson in Fort Lauderdale to judge a college co-ed beauty contest.
TV-PG
 

Tuesday, October 28

6:00 am
Full House
Trouble with Danny
Danny is thrilled that "Spring Cleaning Day" has arrived! He appoints chores to everyone in the house. When they gather to complain, Danny overhears. He reacts by becoming such a slob that the family asks him to be neat again.
TV-G
6:30 am
Rules of Engagement
100th
TV-PG
7:00 am
Married With Children
Spring Break (2)
As Al prepares to chest to see that Kelly is named Miss Spring Break, Marcy and Bud lead some burned fraternity brothers to Florida for revenge.
TV-PG
7:30 am
Married With Children
Agony and the Extra C, The
A Jefferson anniversary surprise is ruined when a drunken tattoo artist misspells Marcy's name.
TV-PG
8:00 am
King of Queens, The
Mean Streak
Doug tries to break the company record for the largest number of consecutive deliveries.
TV-PG
8:30 am
King of Queens, The
No Retreat
Doug goes with Carrie on her company retreat while Arthur is left to fend for himself at home.
TV-PG
9:00 am
Movie
Daredevil
He dwells in a world of external night--but the blackness is filled with sounds and scents, tastes and textures that most cannot perceive. Although attorney Matt Murdock is blind, his other four senses function with superhuman sharpness. By day, Murdock represents the downtrodden. At night he is Daredevil, a masked vigilante stalking the dark streets of the city, a relentless avenger of justice. For Daredevil justice is blind--and for the guilty, there's hell to pay.
TV-14
11:00 am
America's Funniest Home Videos
AFHV #2107
First $100,000 show of season 21
TV-G
12:00 pm
Cleveland Show, The
Brown Knight, The
Cleveland is mistakenly hailed as a hero after he ends up getting shot in an armed robbery; Rallo discovers what Roberta's "that time of the month" is all about.
TV-14
12:30 pm
Cleveland Show, The
Gone with the Wind
Cleveland's flatulence interrupts a karaoke contest at the Broken Stool, embarrassing Donna no end; Cleveland and Donna have bad news for Cleveland Jr.
TV-14
1:00 pm
American Dad
Kidney Stays in the Picture, The
When Hayley experiences kidney failure, Stan and Fran travel into the past to find the man who may be Hayley's real father.
TV-14
1:30 pm
American Dad
Ricky Spanish
Roger makes amends for the trouble he caused after he adopted a sociopathic persona; Stan and Fran get an unexpected visit from a Nigerian man whom they aided through a relief organization.
TV-14
2:00 pm
American Dad
Toy Whorey
Stan wants Steve to stop playing with toys and be a man, so he brings Steve to Mexico to make love to a prostitute; Roger attempts to retrieve a bottle of wine from Terry and Greg.
TV-14
2:30 pm
American Dad
Love, American Dad Style
Roger (Seth MacFarlane) opens a crooner's bar in the Smith family's attic and recruits Hayley (Rachael MacFarlane) as his main entertainer. Soon, all of Langley Falls becomes enthralled by her singing voice - including Roger, who takes his crush on Hayley a bit too far. Meanwhile, Stan tries to prove his manhood by negotiating a good deal on a new car.
TV-14
3:00 pm
Robot Chicken
Rodiggity
Southern-fried funerals get exciting thanks to Dixie Joe! The Booger Man makes a mess. Frankenstein's in-laws are less than pleased. Order your movie tickets from Fan-Dingo--the paper bags want you to. The cast of Final Fantasy VII get jobs at a burger chain. A young soccer player named Ricky faces life's obstacles. Bugs Bunny goes hip-hop in 8 Carrot.
TV-14
3:15 pm
Robot Chicken
password: Swordfish
Care Bears care a lot-about ethnic cleansing. See the action-packed story of Heimlich and his quest to unblock your windpipe. Rick Schroeder is fighting crime in style in the new hit series Rick Shaw. Ben Affleck sues the AFLAC duck. Corporate disputes get solved hand-to-hand in Office Fighter. Harry Potter uses magic to fight... puberty!
TV-14
3:30 pm
Childrens Hospital
Run Dr. Lola Spratt, Run
When a kid trapped in a trough of quicksand comes into the ER on a Saturday it's up to Sy to wrangle the team back together - because doctors don't work on weekends.
TV-14
3:45 pm
Childrens Hospital
Ward 8
Detective Change Briggs (Nick Offerman) is back and goes undercover in Ward 8, the wing for mentally insane children. áBlake's ex-girlfriend, Britches (Sarah Silverman), comes back and Chief and Glenn have handicapped sex.
TV-14
4:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With Rachel's Sister (Part 1), The
Rachel tries to help her pampered younger sister, Jill (REESE WITHERSPOON), find independence, but Jill flirting with Ross is not part of the plan. Monica won't admit that she is sick.
TV-PG
4:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One Where Chandler Can't Cry (Part 2), The
Rachel's sister Jill (REESE WITHERSPOON) wants Ross, but not for the reasons he thinks. Chandler astounds the others with his inability to express emotions. Is Phoebe starring in pornography LISA KUDROW plays a dual role.
TV-PG
5:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One That Could Have Been (Part 1), The
The friends ponder what might have come to pass if each had taken a different path in life.
TV-14
5:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One That Could Have Been (Part 2), The
In the speculative fantasy, Ross initiates romantic advances with his wife Carol (JANE SIBBETT); Chandler and Monica help each other overcome loneliness; Rachel learns the truth about her husband; and Phoebe sneaks out of the hospital.
TV-14
6:00 pm
Seinfeld
Wife, The
A girlfriend (Courteney Cox) poses as Jerry's wife so he can get a dry-cleaning discount.
TV-PG
6:30 pm
Seinfeld
Fire, The
A kitchen fire makes George confront his cowardliness; guests Melanie Chartoff, Dom Irrera.
TV-PG
7:00 pm
Seinfeld
Opposite, The
George learns success lies in doing the opposite of what he would normally do; guests Dedee Pfeiffer, Regis Philbin, Kathie Lee Gifford; French Stewart.
TV-PG
7:30 pm
Seinfeld
Hamptons, The
Jerry's girlfriend sees George naked during a weekend at the beach.
TV-PG
8:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Re-Entry Minimization, The
Howard returns from space...without the welcome he wanted.
TV-PG
8:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Holographic Excitation, The
The gang celebrates Halloween at Stuart's comic book store. Meanwhile Leonard and Penny discover a new spark in their relationship when he seduces her with science.
TV-PG
9:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Extract Obliteration, The
Sheldon's friendship with renowned scientist STEPHEN HAWKING is threatened by a game of "Words with Friends," while Penny secretly enrolls in a class at the local college.
TV-14
9:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Habitation Configuration, The
Bernadette pressures Howard to move out of his mother's house, while Sheldon finds himself caught in the middle of a fight between Amy and Wil Wheaton.
TV-PG
10:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
43 Peculiarity, The
Howard and Raj try to solve a mystery about Sheldon.
TV-PG
10:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Parking Spot Escalation, The
Sheldon & Howard battle over an assigned parking spot.
TV-14
11:00 pm
Conan (CC)
Episode 4641
Guests: Ashton Kutcher, Krysten Ritter, Beck
TV-14
12:00 am
Cougar Town (SAP)
Down South
A hurricane blows into town, so that means it's time for a hurricane party at Jules' house. But there's more than one storm brewing, as Travis wants to make a play for Laurie, now that she's broken up her Skype romance with soldier Wade (guest star Edwin Hodge), and Jules is determined to keep them apart, on "Cougar Town."
TV-PG
12:30 am
Conan (CC)
Episode 4641
Guests: Ashton Kutcher, Krysten Ritter, Beck
TV-14
1:30 am
Cougar Town (SAP)
Square One
Grayson moves in with Jules after the hurricane damages his house, but the sudden togetherness makes them wonder if they're going to make the same mistakes in their upcoming marriage that they made in their past relationships. Meanwhile, Ellie and Laurie bicker about which of them is the sexiest, dragging Travis into the argument, and Jules and Bobby dare each other to a "white shirt challenge" - to see who can wear the same while shirt longer without spilling something on it -- on "Cougar Town."
TV-PG
2:00 am
Movie
Daredevil
He dwells in a world of external night--but the blackness is filled with sounds and scents, tastes and textures that most cannot perceive. Although attorney Matt Murdock is blind, his other four senses function with superhuman sharpness. By day, Murdock represents the downtrodden. At night he is Daredevil, a masked vigilante stalking the dark streets of the city, a relentless avenger of justice. For Daredevil justice is blind--and for the guilty, there's hell to pay.
TV-14
4:00 am
Married With Children
Turning Japanese
To secure a big promotion at the bank, Marcy must first buy Al's car for her Japanese boss.
TV-PG
4:30 am
Married With Children
Bud Hits the Books
Bud's unauthorized use of the library threatens his graduation.
TV-PG
5:00 am
Married With Children
Al Goes to the Dogs
Al and Marcy clash over a doghouse for Lucky.
TV-PG
5:30 am
Married With Children
Kiss of the Coffee Woman
Al and Marcy object to Kelly and Jefferson's appearing as a couple in a suggestive TV commercial.
TV-PG
 

Wednesday, October 29

6:00 am
Full House
Five's a Crowd
D.J. has a date with one of the popular guys in her school. Fearing the boy will take advantage of D.J., Danny, Joey and Jesse follow her to end the date.
TV-G
6:30 am
Rules of Engagement
Pilot
TV-PG
7:00 am
Married With Children
Enemies
A philandering delivery man's affair with Kelly causes problems with his own suspicious girlfriend.
TV-PG
7:30 am
Married With Children
Torch Song Duet
Al helps Griff win a pair of tickets to the Olympic Games.
TV-PG
8:00 am
King of Queens, The
Oxy Moron
Doug tries to prove to Carrie that he would risk himself to save her.
TV-PG
8:30 am
King of Queens, The
Veiled Threat
A flashback shows Doug and Carrie's wedding day.
TV-PG
9:00 am
Movie
Obsessed
Derek Charles, a successful asset manager who has just received a huge promotion, is blissfully happy in his career and in his marriage to the beautiful Beth. But when Lisa, a temp worker, starts stalking Derek, everything he''s worked so hard for, are placed in jeopardy.
TV-14
11:00 am
America's Funniest Home Videos
AFHV #2108
Stage spotlight: New York and what would a monkey do
TV-G
12:00 pm
Cleveland Show, The
Brotherly Love
Rallo helps Junior as he tries to win the heart of Chanel, a girl he's infatuated with; Cleveland becomes Terry's pimp.
TV-14
12:30 pm
Cleveland Show, The
Brown History Month
After Cleveland and Lester get into a fight during Black History month, a judge orders them to work together on a float for a unity parade; Rallo tries to steal Lester's confederate flag, only to become trapped under Kendra's body.
TV-14
1:00 pm
American Dad
Killer Vacation
The Smith family's tropical vacation turns out to be anything but relaxing when Stan is assigned a mission to kill the activities director at their resort, whom his boss at the CIA insists is an ex-war criminal. Meanwhile, Hayley (Rachael MacFarlane) and Jeff (Jeff Fischer) try to rekindle their fading romance, while Roger, as his latest persona, Abigail Lemonparty, falls for an older gentleman.
TV-14
1:30 pm
American Dad
Can I Be Frank (With You)
Francine dresses up in a man suit so she can spend more time with Stan; Steve forms a boy band with his friends.
TV-14
2:00 pm
American Dad
American Stepdad
Stan invites his mother (guest voice Swoosie Kurtz) to come live with the family after Stan's stepfather dies, and tensions rise when Roger is forced to share his attic with her. But Roger and Stan's mom quickly fall in love and get married, and Stan is forced to deal with Roger as his new stepdad. Meanwhile, Steve and his friends discover a mysterious plane crash while on a bike ride and come across a long-lost script of a "Fast and Furious" movie that they are determined to get made.
TV-14
2:30 pm
American Dad
Why Can't We Be Friends
After concluding that Snot isn't cool enough to hang out with Steve, Stan concocts a scheme to separate the pair by sticking Snot in the Witness Protection Program; Roger gives Steve money to clean out his attic.
TV-14
3:00 pm
Robot Chicken
Metal Militia
Young Young Indiana Jones finds treasure at his elementary school. Rainbow Brite reveals her dark side. Montezuma gets his revenge, and the results smell terrible. Malibu Barbie learns why you don't build your Dream House in Malibu. Rom: Spaceknight meets his ultimate nemesis! Into the Blue gets a relevant skewering. Hulk Hogan busts out of prison camp in Hogan's Heroes.
TV-14
3:15 pm
Robot Chicken
Veggies for Sloth
The classic movie Beastmaster takes Broadway by storm. Mrs. McNallys third-graders present: Tim Burtons The Corpse Bride. Lance Armstrong gets revenge on France. Thrill to the Worlds Most Creative Suicides! Buck Rogers learns what his name rhymes with. A stupid guy learns hes a vampire, and thinks it rocks. The gang from Archie Comics learns that nobody cheats Death for long!
TV-14
3:30 pm
Childrens Hospital
Black Doctor, The
Blake needs a place to stay after his landlord kicks him out for being a clown. Meanwhile, áDr. Brian (Jordan Peele) returns to Childrens Hospital after leaving his job as a consultant on the medical drama 'Black Hospital.' Also, Cat is naked the entire episode.
TV-14
3:45 pm
Childrens Hospital
Home is Where the Hospital Is
Space is getting scarce in the communal apartment and someone needs to move out. Sy deals with his own undesirable living condition.
TV-14
4:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With Unagi, The
Chandler gets into trouble with his homemade gift for Monica. Ross tries to teach martial arts to Rachel and Phoebe. Joey hires a look-alike.
TV-PG
4:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One Where Ross Dates a Student, The
When a fire damages their apartment, Rachel and Phoebe must choose between living temporarily with Joey or Monica. Ross gets into trouble where he teaches.
TV-PG
5:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With Joey's Fridge, The
Ross worries when his student/girlfriend goes on vacation with her wild friends. Meanwhile, Joey's refrigerator breaks down.
TV-PG
5:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With Mac and C.H.E.E.S.E., The
In this episode, primarily composed of clips from earlier shows, Joey auditions for a major television role. But Chandler almost ruins everything.
TV-PG
6:00 pm
Seinfeld
Raincoats, The (Part 1)
Kramer's scheme to sell vintage raincoats backfires; George sells his dad's clothes; guest Judge Reinhold.
TV-PG
6:30 pm
Seinfeld
Raincoats, The (Part 2 )
Kramer's scheme to sell vintage raincoats backfires; George sells his dad's clothes; guest Judge Reinhold.
TV-PG
7:00 pm
Seinfeld
Chaperone, The
Kramer chaperons Jerry's date with a beauty contestant; guest Ian Abercrombie.
TV-PG
7:30 pm
Seinfeld
Big Salad, The
Kramer helps an athlete wanted for a brutal crime flee police; guest Michelle Forbes.
TV-PG
8:00 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Hell Comes to Quahog
Brian and Stewie try to save the town when corporate giant Superstore puts all the local shops out of business.
TV-14
8:30 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Saving Private Brian
Brian and Stewie find themselves in boot camp; Chris and his rock band have a hit with their single ``Evil, Evil Monkey.''
TV-14
9:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Fish Guts Displacement, The
Howard bonds with his father-n-law on a fishing trip.
TV-PG
9:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Santa Simulation, The
Sheldon unwillingly revisits some Christmas memories during a lively game of Dungeons and Dragons, while Raj joins the girls for ladies night out.
TV-14
10:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Egg Salad Equivalency, The
Sheldon is accused of sexual harassment at the University and winds up dragging Leonard, Raj and Howard into the fray.
TV-14
10:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Bakersfield Expedition, The
Leonard's car is stolen when the guys take a road trip to a comic book convention in Bakersfield, dressed as Star Trek characters.
TV-PG
11:00 pm
Conan (CC)
Episode 4642
Guests: Jon Cryer, Katharine McPhee, Bob Odenkirk
TV-14
12:00 am
Cougar Town (SAP)
It'll All Work Out
When Jules realizes that the cul-de-sac crew didn't celebrate Thanksgiving together, she decides to celebrate the holiday, even though it's spring. But the family spirit is shattered, in more ways than one, when Little Stan gets his hands on Big Carl and Jules questions Ellie's parenting skills. Meanwhile, Travis struggles to write Jules' wedding vows and asks Bobby and Laurie for help, and Grayson helps a nervous Andy practice for the annual pizza toss for candidates running for mayor, on "Cougar Town."
TV-PG
12:30 am
Conan (CC)
Episode 4642
Guests: Jon Cryer, Katharine McPhee, Bob Odenkirk
TV-14
1:30 am
Office, The (SAP)
Shareholder Meeting
Michael brings Dwight, Andy, and Oscar to NYC when he's being recognized at the Dunder Mifflin shareholder meeting as their top manager. Meanwhile, Jim has trouble getting the rest of the staff to believe he has the same authority as Michael.
TV-PG
2:00 am
Movie
Obsessed
Derek Charles, a successful asset manager who has just received a huge promotion, is blissfully happy in his career and in his marriage to the beautiful Beth. But when Lisa, a temp worker, starts stalking Derek, everything he''s worked so hard for, are placed in jeopardy.
TV-14
4:00 am
Married With Children
Joke's on Al, The
Al and Jefferson vie to claim the title of King of Practical Jokes.
TV-PG
4:30 am
Married With Children
Stepford Peg, The
Peggy's amnesia allows Al to mold her into the perfect wife.
TV-PG
5:00 am
Married With Children
Children of the Corns
Al and Griff try to blackmail their sweatshop-owning boss for a raise.
TV-PG
5:30 am
Married With Children
Twisted
A killer storm strikes, leaving the Bundys and D'Arcys sharing a basement shelter.
TV-PG
 

Thursday, October 30

6:00 am
Full House
Girls Will Be Boys
A boy in Michelle's class calls Teddy a sissy for being Michelle's friend. Michelle talks to Jesse about the difference between boys and girls and starts acting like a miniature version of Jesse.
TV-G
6:30 am
Rules of Engagement
Birthday Deal, The
TV-PG
7:00 am
Married With Children
Grime and Punishment
When he starts charging Bud rent, Al is confined to the basement until he makes some much-needed repairs.
TV-PG
7:30 am
Married With Children
Crimes Against Obesity
As he's trying to celebrate his birthday, Al is put on trial by a group of obese women.
TV-PG
8:00 am
King of Queens, The
Ticker Treat
Doug's Halloween decorations frighten Arthur into a minor heart attack.
TV-PG
8:30 am
King of Queens, The
Lyin' Hearted
Doug encounters one of his delivery customers while accompanying Arthur to the hospital.
TV-PG
9:00 am
Movie
My Best Friend's Girl
Tank (Dane Cook) faces the ultimate test of friendship when his best friend (Jason Biggs) hires him to take his ex-girlfriend (Kate Hudson) out on a lousy date in order to make her realize how great her former boyfriend is.
TV-14
11:00 am
America's Funniest Home Videos
AFHV #2109
Golden oldies and bird brains
TV-G
12:00 pm
Cleveland Show, The
Cleveland's Angels
After Cleveland gambles away money meant for Roberta's college fund, Kendra, Donna and Arianna embark on a mission to retrieve the money from a crooked riverboat casino.
TV-14
12:30 pm
Cleveland Show, The
You're the Best Man, Cleveland Brown!
Freight Train and Cookie announce their plans to re-marry; Cleveland is chosen to be best man...until he's replaced by Donna's ex-husband; Cleveland Jr. offers to pay for the wedding ceremony after he inherits money from his mother.
TV-14
1:00 pm
American Dad
Adventures in Hayleysitting
The Smith family's regular babysitter, Lindsay (guest voice Alison Brie), breaks her leg in a soccer match, so Stan and Francine are forced to leave Steve with Hayley, despite her track record of being extremely irresponsible. When Hayley teases Steve about being a goody-two-shoes, Steve is determined to prove her wrong and sneaks out of the house to go to a party with the cool kids.
TV-14
1:30 pm
American Dad
National Treasure 4: Baby Franny: She's Doing Well: The Hole Story
A Langley Falls talk show outs Francine as "Baby Franny," the toddler who was once rescued from a well by a heroic fireman (guest voice Will Forte). Then, on the anniversary of her rescue, she falls down the well again and makes a shocking discovery. Meanwhile, Stan and Roger have an entrepreneurial "eureka!" moment when they think of the world's next game-changing business opportunity - male stripper shoes.
TV-14
2:00 pm
American Dad
Finger Lenting Good
Francine asks her family to give up their vices for Lent or risk losing a finger.
TV-14
2:30 pm
American Dad
Adventures of Twill Ongenbone and His Boy Jabari, The
Francine tries to teach Roger the value of hard work after he fakes a masters degree and buys an Oscar. Steve interviews Stan for a personal history assignment at school.
TV-14
3:00 pm
Robot Chicken
Sausage Fest
Li'l Hitler will win your heart! The Library of Heaven yields answers even God doesn't want you to know. The Burger King serves up some delicious B&E. Garfield and Heathcliff take each other to court. A giraffe deals with the stages of death. Action Jackson endorses laundry detergent. Never pick up a hitchhiking pig! The gang from Police Academy joins the X-Men.
TV-14
3:15 pm
Robot Chicken
Drippy Pony
Learn the secret life of Batman villain the Penguin. Kids will love playing with My Stalker! Orlando Bloom must help his fellow passengers survive after a plane crash. Meet Cork, the world's greatest retarded detective! Jesus and the Argonauts find action and adventure, and turn their backs on it. The Micronauts climb a mountain. The U.S. government declares war on Christmas.
TV-14
3:30 pm
Childrens Hospital
Nip/Tug
Pediatric Plastic Surgeon, Tug Spano, arrives at Childrens Hospital while Max Von Sydow mixes up babies in the Maternity Ward and Glenn and Owen take a walk to get a snack.
TV-14
3:45 pm
Childrens Hospital
70's Episode, The
Dr. Richie is back from killing babies in `Nam. áLola wants to be a lady doctor and Dr. Brian is just doin' what he does. á
TV-14
4:00 pm
The Carbonaro Effect
Got the Bug Out
Posing as a technician, Michael literally "gets the bug out" of a customer's phone and has him convinced it was in there all along. Then, as a seemingly ordinary bartender, he makes patrons fall for a never-ending beer bottle and a shot that breaks the laws of physics. Plus, he infiltrates an office and has gullible coworkers believing that he can freeze-dry animals and reanimate them.
TV-PG
4:30 pm
The Carbonaro Effect
Problem with Chocolate Turtles and Seeds, A
Posing as a cashier, Michael makes a shopper's face appear on a milk carton and tries to convince her that she really is a missing person. Then, in a shipping store he has customers believing that impossible technology of the future has arrived, like a bowling ball that can be mailed in a flat box. Plus, he has a hotel guest questioning her identity when he swaps her ID, and stumps a valet when he does a disappearing act from his car.
TV-14
5:00 pm
The Carbonaro Effect
Waddle, A Scratch..., A
Posing as a thrift store employee, Michael makes shoppers believe that a real waddling duck is just a lifelike decoy, and confuses clerks with a never-ending chain of hangers. Then, he convinces liquor store customers that some corks are made of cheese and a wine can freeze on command. Plus, in a museum he shocks a gullible new employee by destroying a priceless piece then impossibly reconstructing it.
TV-14
5:30 pm
The Carbonaro Effect
Just Smash It Out
Michael convinces car wash patrons that he broke their window, only to miraculously fix it with the push of a button. Then, dry cleaning customers are confused when Michael is suddenly wearing their clothes in the blink of an eye. Plus, he has pet store shoppers convinced that theyÆre seeing multiple fish in an empty water bowl.
TV-14
6:00 pm
Seinfeld
Pledge Drive, The
Jerry cashes old birthday checks from his grandmother.
TV-PG
6:30 pm
Seinfeld
Chinese Woman, The
George's crossed phone lines acquaint the gang with a woman who isn't what she seems.
TV-PG
7:00 pm
Seinfeld
Couch, The
Elaine dates the guy who delivered Jerry's new couch.
TV-PG
7:30 pm
Seinfeld
Gymnast, The
Elaine must substitute for her boss in a merger deal; a girlfriend's mom sees George eating out of the trash; guest Maurice Godin.
TV-PG
8:00 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Whistle While Your Wife Works
When Peter's boss (Carrie Fisher) tells him he needs to pick up the pace, Lois goes to the brewery to help him.
TV-14
8:30 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Prick Up Your Ears
Lois volunteers to teach a sex-ed class at the high school when she learns that Chris has some incorrect information on the subject.
TV-14
9:00 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Chick Cancer
Stewie marries his old friend Olivia; Lois introduces Peter to chick flicks.
TV-14
9:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Cooper, The/Kripke Inversion
Outraged that he's being forced to work with his university nemesis, Barry Kripke (guest star JOHN ROSS BOWIE), Sheldon faces a crisis of conscience.
TV-14
10:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Spoiler Alert Segmentation, The
When Sheldon and Leonard fight, it affects Penny and Amy's living arrangements. Meanwhile, Raj takes care of Mrs. Wolowitz while Howard is away.
TV-14
10:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Tangible Affection Proof, The
Sheldon struggles to find a Valentine's gift for Amy.
TV-14
11:00 pm
Conan (CC)
Episode 4643
Guests: Jake Gyllenhaal, Judy Greer, The War on Drugs
TV-14
12:00 am
Cougar Town (SAP)
My Life/Your World (Part 1 of 2)
"My Life/Your World" -- When Grayson complains that he's living the movie "Groundhog Day" because the gang shows up at the same time every day at Jules' house, Jules asks for a "Groundhog Day"-themed bachelorette party so that Ellie and Laurie can explain the movie to her. Then, fed up with the lack of privacy, Grayson convinces Jules to elope to Napa . . . but the cul de sac crew happily tags along, on "Cougar Town." David Arquette guest stars as a hotel concierge who'll go to great (and possibly illegal) lengths to help the wine wedding go off without a hitch.
TV-PG
12:30 am
Conan (CC)
Episode 4643
Guests: Jake Gyllenhaal, Judy Greer, The War on Drugs
TV-14
1:30 am
Office, The (SAP)
Scott's Tots
A decade-old promise to pay college tuition for a bunch of children comes back to haunt Michael. With rumors of Dunder Mifflin going under dragging down the staff, Jim hopes an Employee of the Month award will raise spirits, unaware it's a ploy by Dwight to get him fired.
TV-PG
2:00 am
Movie
Source Code
When decorated soldier Captain Colter Stevens wakes up in the body of an unknown man, he discovers he's part of a mission to find the bomber of a Chicago commuter train. In an assignment unlike any he's ever known, he learns he's part of a government experiment called the "Source Code," a program that enables him to cross over into another man's identity in the last 8 minutes of his life. With a second, much larger target threatening to kill millions in downtown Chicago, Colter re-lives the incident over and over again, gathering clues each time, until he can solve the mystery of who is behind the bombs and prevent the next attack.
TV-14
4:00 am
Married With Children
Kelly's Gotta Habit
As Kelly agrees to give up sex for a big TV commercial, Al teams with Officer Dan for an appearance on Cops.
TV-PG
4:30 am
Married With Children
Requiem for a Chevyweight (1)
Al struggles to find a part for his ailing car.
TV-PG
5:00 am
Married With Children
Juggs Have Left the Building, The
Peggy and Kelly team up as a singing duo for a talent contest in Branson, Missouri.
TV-PG
5:30 am
Married With Children
Requiem for a Chevyweight (2)
Following the death of his Dodge, Al sets out to get a new car.
TV-PG
 

Friday, October 31

6:00 am
Full House
Captain Video (Part 1)
Michelle joins the "Honey-Bees" and to the family's dismay tries to earn her first badge in cooking. When the TV station terminates Jesse as Joey's sidekick, Jesse decides to put all his effort into his music career--with no success, however, until the Beach Boys offer him exclusive rights to one of their songs.
TV-G
6:30 am
Rules of Engagement
Young and the Restless
TV-PG
7:00 am
Married With Children
Bud on the Side
Al's boss falls in love with Bud.
TV-PG
7:30 am
Married With Children
Bundy Thanksgiving, A
An untimely death threatens Al's Thanksgiving tradition; Kelly tries to a pet turkey from becoming a holiday dinner.
TV-PG
8:00 am
King of Queens, The
Depo Man
Carrie asks Doug to be an expert witness at her boss's trial.
TV-PG
8:30 am
King of Queens, The
Life Sentence
Doug sets up a camera in the basement to monitor Arthur.
TV-PG
9:00 am
Movie
Envy
Tim and Nick are best friends, neighbors and co-workers, whose equal footing is suddenly tripped up when one of Nick's hare-brained get-rich-quick schemes actually succeeds: the Vaporizer, a spray that literally makes dog poop, or any other kind for that matter, evaporate into thin air--to where, exactly, is anyone's guess. Tim, who had scoffed at Nick's idea and passed on an opportunity to get in on the deal, can only watch as Nick's fortune--and Tim's own envy--grow to equally outrageous proportions. When the flames of jealousy are fanned by an oddball drifter who imposes himself into the situation, Tim's life careens wildly out of control, taking Nick's with it.
TV-PG
11:00 am
America's Funniest Home Videos
AFHV #2110
Christmas 2010
TV-G
12:00 pm
Cleveland Show, The
Harder, Better, Faster, Browner
Cleveland helps ignite the career of a struggling rapper after the pair produce a new hit single.
TV-14
12:30 pm
Cleveland Show, The
Cleveland Live!
In this "live" broadcast of "The Cleveland Show," complications ensue when Cleveland and Donna attempt to celebrate their anniversary.
TV-14
1:00 pm
American Dad
Blood Crieth Unto Heaven
In a tribute to and send-up of the Pulitzer Prize-winning play, "August: Osage County," a dark secret is revealed about the Smith family's past when Francine invites Stan's incarcerated dad, Jack, to Stan's birthday party. Also in this spoof, Roger plays Edna, a maid who nurses Bullock and Hayley's love child. But when Edna falls in love with Bullock, it could mean dire consequences for the kid.
TV-14
1:30 pm
American Dad
Max Jets
Roger (Seth MacFarlane) announces that "Max Jets," a character of Roger's who enjoys showering the Smith family with money, is soon getting out of prison. But a wrench is thrown in the system when Max falls in love with Gina (Michelle Monaghan), a gold-digging waitress who threatens the family's inheritance.
TV-14
2:00 pm
American Dad
Naked to the Limit, One More Time
Roger pretends to be Jeff's imaginary friend, so he can freely roam naked around the house with no disguise. But when big-mouth Jeff figures out that Roger is an alien, Stan issues an ultimatum: either Roger or Jeff must be killed immediately. Meanwhile, Steve becomes insecure about the shape of his rear end.
TV-14
2:30 pm
American Dad
For Black Eyes Only
In Part 2 of "The Tearjerker Saga," a "James Bond" parody, Stan and his wife, Sexpun Tocome's honeymoon is brutally interrupted when Black Villain (guest voice Kevin Michael Richardson) fatally shoots Sexpun. Determined to get his revenge, Stan teams up with former nemesis The Tearjerker to track down Black Villain and put a stop to his evil plan to melt the arctic glaciers.
TV-14
3:00 pm
Robot Chicken
Lust for Puppets
The creators imagine how Babar might rule with an iron tusk, where O.J. might search for his ex-wife's killer and what Skynet might send back as their next Terminator, plus check out the latest superhero movie.
TV-14
3:15 pm
Robot Chicken
Anne Marie's Pride
Mr. T and the Foo Fighters forge an unlikely alliance. Stretch Armstrong needs a corn syrup transplant. A mermaid shows a surface boy the wonders of Atlantis. A guy dates his GPS navigational system. Learn the untold origin of Alvin and the Chipmunks! Roger Ebert and guest reviewer M. Night Shyamalan present upcoming feature films, including Schindler's List 2: Schindler's Pissed.
TV-14
3:30 pm
Childrens Hospital
Father's Day
It's Fathers Day at Childrens Hospital and Lola and Brian are determined to finding Cat's estranged father. Meanwhile the other doctors wait on a prisoner to be executed so they can use his black heart for a transplant.
TV-14
3:45 pm
Childrens Hospital
Stryker Bites the Dust
After the untimely death of beloved Dr. Brock Striker (Rob Riggle), Sy orders the entire staff to undergo counseling before they can practice medicine again.
TV-14
4:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With the Proposal (Part 1), The
Chandler plans to propose to Monica.
TV-PG
4:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With the Proposal (Part 2), The
Monica asks Chandler to be her husband.
TV-PG
5:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With the Fake Monica, The
Monica meets a woman who helps her live out her fantasies. Ross' pet monkey becomes sexually mature and makes everyone crazy.
TV-PG
5:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With the Ick Factor, The
Monica finds out more than she wants to know about her latest love. Chandler's friends at work treat him differently since his promotion. Ross' ex-wife begins giving birth.
TV-PG
6:00 pm
Seinfeld
Soup, The
Jerry regrets accepting a designer suit from an obnoxious comedian (Stephen Hytner).
TV-PG
6:30 pm
Seinfeld
Secretary, The
A new secretary's efficiency arouses George; Jerry spots a dry cleaner wearing his clothes.
TV-PG
7:00 pm
Seinfeld
Switch, The
Kramer's mom (Sheree North) reveals her son's name to George; guest Terry Sweeney.
TV-PG
7:30 pm
Seinfeld
Race, The
An ex-classmate questions Jerry's status as the fastest runner in high school; guest Vicki Lewis.
TV-PG
8:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Middle Earth Paradigm, The
Penny hosts a Halloween party, putting Leonard, Sheldon, Wolowitz, and Koothrappali through a new test of their social skills.
TV-PG
8:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Good Guy Fluctuation, The
Sheldon tries to spook his friends on Halloween.
TV-14
9:00 pm
Deal With It
Happy Howie-ween with Ross Mathews & Bobby Lee
FOOTBALL: This contestant has football on the brain and decides to kick off the new season while her friend watches from the sideline. Co-host: Bobby Lee. CHAMPAGNE PROBLEMS: After faking a foot injury, a contestant enlists the help of a friend, then offers a thank-you with a face full of foot. Co-host: Ross Mathews.
9:30 pm
Movie (DVS)
Zombieland
Two men have found a way to survive a world overrun by zombies. Columbus is a big wuss - but when you're afraid of being eaten by zombies, fear can keep you alive. Tallahassee is an AK-totin', zombie-slayin' badass whose single determination is to get the last Twinkie on earth. As they join forces with Wichita and Little Rock, who have also found unique ways to survive the zombie mayhem, they will have to determine which is worse: relying on each other or succumbing to the zombies.
TV-14
11:30 pm
Deal With It
Happy Howie-ween with Ross Mathews & Bobby Lee
FOOTBALL: This contestant has football on the brain and decides to kick off the new season while her friend watches from the sideline. Co-host: Bobby Lee. CHAMPAGNE PROBLEMS: After faking a foot injury, a contestant enlists the help of a friend, then offers a thank-you with a face full of foot. Co-host: Ross Mathews.
12:00 am
Movie
Spider-Man
Orphaned at an early age, Peter Parker lives in Queens, New York with his beloved Aunt May and Uncle Ben. Peter leads the life of a normal student, working as a photographer at the school paper, pining after the beautiful Mary Jane Watson and hanging out with buddy Harry Osborn. On a school trip, during which Peter and his classmates are given a science demonstration on arachnids, Peter is bitten by a genetically-altered spider. Soon after, he discovers that he has unusual powers: he is endowed with the strength and agility of a spider along with a keen, ESP-like "spider-sense." Peter first uses his powers to make money, but in the face of a tragedy that hits close to home, he vows to dedicate his life to fighting crime, taking to heart the words of his beloved Uncle Ben: "With great power comes great responsibility." Meanwhile, megalomaniacal businessman Norman Osborn, Harry's father, is undergoing some changes of his own. An experimental formula has gone awry, increasing his intelligence and strength but also driving him insane. He is now the Green Goblin, Spider-Man's arch enemy, who will put young Peter Parker's vow to fight crime and help innocent people to the ultimate test.
TV-PG
2:30 am
Movie (DVS)
Zombieland
Two men have found a way to survive a world overrun by zombies. Columbus is a big wuss - but when you're afraid of being eaten by zombies, fear can keep you alive. Tallahassee is an AK-totin', zombie-slayin' badass whose single determination is to get the last Twinkie on earth. As they join forces with Wichita and Little Rock, who have also found unique ways to survive the zombie mayhem, they will have to determine which is worse: relying on each other or succumbing to the zombies.
TV-14
4:30 am
Married With Children
Live Nude Peg
Al falls in love with a stripper, unaware that she's actually his wife.
TV-PG
5:00 am
Married With Children
God Help Ye Merry Bundymen
As Al and Griff lose their jobs on Christmas Eve, Marcy and Jefferson's entry in a neighborhood contest is sabotaged by Kelly and Bud.
TV-PG
5:30 am
Married With Children
T*R*A*S*H
Al and Griff join Jefferson in the National Guard.
TV-PG
 

Saturday, November 1

6:00 am
Married With Children
Babe in Toyland, A
Kelly becomes a prima donna after being asked to fill in on a popular children's television program.
TV-PG
6:30 am
Married With Children
Breaking Up Is Easy to Do (1)
A party game sends Al and Peggy to a marriage counselor; Kelly squares off in the boxing ring against a rival actress.
TV-PG
7:00 am
Married With Children
Breaking Up Is Easy to Do (2)
When Al moves out, he and Peggy throw themselves into the singles scene, with widely different results.
TV-PG
7:30 am
Married With Children
Breaking Up Is Easy to Do (3)
While Al finds single life dismal, Peggy tries to land a new husband.
TV-PG
8:00 am
King of Queens, The
Double Downer
Doug spoils Carrie's plans for a romantic weekend when he organizes an outing to Atlantic City -- and his boss ends up joining them.
TV-PG
8:30 am
King of Queens, The
Ovary Action
Holiday visitors interrupt Doug and Carrie's attempt to conceive.
TV-PG
9:00 am
King of Queens, The
Food Fight
Carrie grows jealous when Spence's girlfriend (Christine Nelson) recruits Doug to test her culinary homework.
TV-PG
9:30 am
Movie
Journey to the Center of the Earth
No one believes that Trevor Anderson is on to something. The science professor's unconventional hypotheses have put him on the fringe of the academic community. But during an expedition in Iceland, Trevor and his teenage nephew, Sean, accompanied by their beautiful local guide, Hannah, make a breakthrough discovery that launches them on a thrilling adventure into the unknown. As their journey takes them deep beneath the Earth's surface, they travel through never-before-seen worlds that bring them face-to-face with surreal and unimaginable creatures, stretching the bounds of the visionary scientist's own imagination.
TV-PG
11:15 am
Movie
Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time
Set in 9th century Persia, an adventurous young prince uncovers a dangerous artifact in a remote mountain kingdom. With the help of a rival princess, he must stop a despot from unleashing a sandstorm that could destroy all mankind.
TV-PG
1:30 pm
Movie
Spider-Man
Orphaned at an early age, Peter Parker lives in Queens, New York with his beloved Aunt May and Uncle Ben. Peter leads the life of a normal student, working as a photographer at the school paper, pining after the beautiful Mary Jane Watson and hanging out with buddy Harry Osborn. On a school trip, during which Peter and his classmates are given a science demonstration on arachnids, Peter is bitten by a genetically-altered spider. Soon after, he discovers that he has unusual powers: he is endowed with the strength and agility of a spider along with a keen, ESP-like "spider-sense." Peter first uses his powers to make money, but in the face of a tragedy that hits close to home, he vows to dedicate his life to fighting crime, taking to heart the words of his beloved Uncle Ben: "With great power comes great responsibility." Meanwhile, megalomaniacal businessman Norman Osborn, Harry's father, is undergoing some changes of his own. An experimental formula has gone awry, increasing his intelligence and strength but also driving him insane. He is now the Green Goblin, Spider-Man's arch enemy, who will put young Peter Parker's vow to fight crime and help innocent people to the ultimate test.
TV-PG
4:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One Where Heckles Dies, The
The downstairs neighbor dies and bequeaths his strange possessions to Monica and Rachel.
TV-PG
4:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With Phoebe's Husband, The
Everyone is surprised when Phoebe's husband shows up.
TV-PG
5:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With Five Steaks And an Eggplant, The
The friends want to give Ross a birthday party but disagree about money. Monica gets promoted and learns a tough lesson.
TV-PG
5:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With Monica's Thunder, The
Monica excitedly reveals her good news to everyone, but Rachel and Ross upstage her. Chandler has trouble making love.
TV-PG
6:00 pm
Everybody Loves Raymond (SAP)
Family Bed, The
Ally's nightmares keep everybody awake.
TV-PG
6:30 pm
Everybody Loves Raymond (SAP)
Good Girls
Marie prefers Robert's girlfriend to Debra.
TV-PG
7:00 pm
Everybody Loves Raymond (SAP)
T-Ball
Debra fights with a T-ball parent about unhealthy snacks.
TV-PG
7:30 pm
Everybody Loves Raymond (SAP)
Traffic School
Robert uses a ventriloquist's dummy to enliven his traffic-school classes.
TV-PG
8:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Monster Isolation, The
Raj vows never to leave his apartment after a horrible date.
TV-PG
8:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Contractual Obligation Implementation, The
Leonard, Sheldon and Howard try to advance the cause of women in science by speaking with junior high girls about their future careers, while Raj plans his date with Lucy.
TV-PG
9:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Closet Reconfiguration, The
To open or not to open When Howard finds a letter from his father, he's forced to confront his past. And Leonard and Penny throw a "grown-up" cocktail party at the apartment.
TV-PG
9:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Tenure Turbulence, The
Leonard, Sheldon and Raj fight for tenure at the University.
TV-14
10:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Closure Alternative, The
After one of his favorite TV shows gets canceled too soon, Sheldon feels lost, so Amy tries to help him get over his compulsive need for closure by retraining his brain.
TV-PG
10:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Proton Resurgence, The
Leonard and Sheldon hire Professor Proton (guest star BOB NEWHART), the host of their favorite childhood TV show to perform. Raj leaves his dog with Howard and Bernadette.
TV-PG
11:00 pm
Deal With It
Happy Howie-ween with Ross Mathews & Bobby Lee
FOOTBALL: This contestant has football on the brain and decides to kick off the new season while her friend watches from the sideline. Co-host: Bobby Lee. CHAMPAGNE PROBLEMS: After faking a foot injury, a contestant enlists the help of a friend, then offers a thank-you with a face full of foot. Co-host: Ross Mathews.
11:30 pm
Fake Off
Art of the Fake, The
The Art Of The Fake: The next generation talent show has arrived, as ten teams of performers go head-to-head recreating iconic pop culture moments. Judges Harry Shum Jr. (Glee), Michael Curry (Cirque du Soleil) and Chilli (TLC) lead the way! Kicking off the season, a video-mapping troupe reinvents the worldÆs most infamous shipwreck, skilled street dancers pop-n-lock with classic video game characters, and a theater troupe hits the gridiron to ôfakeö the biggest football game of the year.
12:30 am
Movie (DVS)
Meet the Fockers
Now that Greg Focker is "in" with his soon-to-be in-laws, Jack and Dina Byrnes, it looks like smooth sailing for him and his fiancée, Pam. But that''s before Pam''s parents meet Greg''s parents, Bernie and Roz Focker. The hyper-relaxed Fockers and the tightly-wound Byrneses are woefully mismatched from the start, and no matter how hard Greg and Pam try, there is just no bringing their families together.
TV-14
2:00 am
Movie
Heartbreak Kid, The
After years of bachelorhood and ample pressure from his father, Doc, and best friend Mac, Eddie Cantrow starts to wonder if he is being too picky about the women he meets. So when a chance encounter with an alluring blonde named Lila leads to a sweet romance, Eddie impulsively proposes. But right after the wedding, as the newlyweds get to know each other on the drive down the California coast, Eddie begins to realize he's made a terrible mistake. Soon after reaching their exotic Mexican hideaway, he falls for the down-to-earth Miranda, who has no clue he's on his honeymoon. Now Eddie has to find a way to extricate himself from his days-old marriage without losing the girl of his dreams.
TV-14
4:15 am
TBS Network Preview
Episode 1
A backstage peek at TBS's original programs.
4:30 am
Married With Children
Taxing Problem
About to be audited by the IRS, Al has to come up with a quick five grand and decides to sell Peggy's hair.
TV-PG
5:00 am
Married With Children
You Gotta Know When to Fold 'Em (1)
About to be audited by the IRS, Al has to come up with a quick five grand and decides to sell Peggy's hair.
TV-PG
5:30 am
Married With Children
Birthday Boy Toy
As Jefferson's worries about getting old force him into taking a job, Al tries to cure Peggy's shopping addiction.
TV-PG
 

Sunday, November 2

6:00 am
Married With Children
Damn Bundys
Al sells his soul for a chance to play in the Super Bowl.
TV-PG
6:30 am
King of Queens, The
Dougie Nights
Doug starts club-hopping with newly single Deacon.
TV-PG
7:00 am
King of Queens, The
No Orleans
Doug and Carrie sneak off to New Orleans without Doug's cousins.
TV-PG
7:30 am
Friends (SAP)
One With the Birth, The
When Carol gives birth, Ross and Susan almost miss the event. Joey befriends an unmarried pregnant woman.
TV-PG
8:00 am
Friends (SAP)
One Where Rachel Finds Out, The
Rachel finds out about Ross' secret love for her -- but another surprise awaits her.
TV-PG
8:30 am
Friends (SAP)
One With Ross's New Girlfriend, The
Rachel gets an unpleasant surprise when Ross returns home. Phoebe has varied success cutting the friends' hair.
TV-14
9:00 am
Friends (SAP)
One With the Breast Milk, The
Phoebe unwittingly disgusts everybody. Joey competes with a fellow salesman.
TV-PG
9:30 am
Movie (DVS)
Paul Blart: Mall Cop
A single, suburban dad tries to make ends meet as a security officer at a New Jersey mall. It''s a job he takes very seriously, though no one else does. When Santa''s helpers at the mall stage a coup, shutting down the megaplex and taking hostages (Paul''s daughter and sweetheart among them), Jersey''s most formidable mall cop will have to become a real cop to save the day.
TV-PG
11:30 am
Movie
You, Me and Dupree
Carl and Molly have found the one unfortunate hitch in their perfectly constructed newly wedded world: Dupree. A slacker with the soul of a poet, Dupree just can''t seem to catch a break from "The Man." When he takes a week off to go be the best-man at Carl and Molly''s wedding in Hawaii, Dupree gets the unceremonious heave-ho from his boss. Now jobless, car-less and evicted from the cot at his favorite watering hole, he just needs to crash with the Petersons for a couple of days; okay, maybe a month or so. At first, Carl is psyched to have the couch guest while Molly bears the brunt of Dupree''s well-meaning antics. But, as Carl becomes buried in his grown-up job of land development and headaches, he finds it hard to juggle Dupree and his newlywed responsibilities. As time passes, his and Molly''s houseguest uses his ample spare time to become a great companion to her, underscoring Carl''s new workaholic tendencies. Even Molly''s dad begins to fall for Dupree''s carefree wisdom, frustrating Carl to no end. Soon, everyone--but Carl--begins to root for Dupree to stick around. But just as the impish buddy starts becoming a fixture in the Petersons'' home, three becomes not just a crowd, but a full-blown comic catastrophe. As the couple realizes their ideas of a white-picket fence marriage are morphing, their loveable pal serves as a daily reminder that finding your inner Dupree might just be one of life''s hidden secrets
TV-14
1:45 pm
Movie (DVS)
Hall Pass
Rick and Fred are best friends who have a lot in common, including the fact that they have each been married for many years. But when the two men begin to show signs of restlessness at home, their wives take a bold approach to revitalizing their marriages: granting them a "hall pass," one week of freedom to do whatever they want...no questions asked. At first, it sounds like a dream come true for Rick and Fred. But it isn't long before they discover that their expectations of the single life--and themselves--are completely, and hilariously, out of sync with reality.
TV-14
3:45 pm
Movie
Heartbreak Kid, The
After years of bachelorhood and ample pressure from his father, Doc, and best friend Mac, Eddie Cantrow starts to wonder if he is being too picky about the women he meets. So when a chance encounter with an alluring blonde named Lila leads to a sweet romance, Eddie impulsively proposes. But right after the wedding, as the newlyweds get to know each other on the drive down the California coast, Eddie begins to realize he's made a terrible mistake. Soon after reaching their exotic Mexican hideaway, he falls for the down-to-earth Miranda, who has no clue he's on his honeymoon. Now Eddie has to find a way to extricate himself from his days-old marriage without losing the girl of his dreams.
TV-14
6:00 pm
Movie (DVS)
Meet the Fockers
Now that Greg Focker is "in" with his soon-to-be in-laws, Jack and Dina Byrnes, it looks like smooth sailing for him and his fiancée, Pam. But that''s before Pam''s parents meet Greg''s parents, Bernie and Roz Focker. The hyper-relaxed Fockers and the tightly-wound Byrneses are woefully mismatched from the start, and no matter how hard Greg and Pam try, there is just no bringing their families together.
TV-14
8:00 pm
Network Television Premiere (DVS)
Crazy, Stupid, Love
At fortysomething, straight-laced Cal Weaver is living the dream - good job, nice house, great kids and marriage to his high school sweetheart. But when Cal learns that his wife, Emily, has cheated on him and wants a divorce, his "perfect" life quickly unravels. Worse, in today's single world, Cal, who hasn't dated in decades, stands out as the epitome of un-smooth. Now spending his free evenings sulking alone at a local bar, the hapless Cal is taken on as wingman and protege to handsome, thirtysomething player Jacob Palmer. In an effort to help Cal get over his wife and start living his life, Jacob opens Cal's eyes to the many options before him: flirty women, manly drinks and a sense of style that can't be found at Supercuts or The Gap. Cal and Emily aren't the only ones looking for love in what might be all the wrong places: Cal's 13-year-old son, Robbie, is crazy about his 17-year-old babysitter, Jessica, who harbors a crush on Cal. And despite Cal's makeover and his many new conquests, the one thing that can't be made over is his heart, which seems to keep leading him back to where he began.
TV-14
10:30 pm
Network Television Premiere (DVS)
Crazy, Stupid, Love
At fortysomething, straight-laced Cal Weaver is living the dream - good job, nice house, great kids and marriage to his high school sweetheart. But when Cal learns that his wife, Emily, has cheated on him and wants a divorce, his "perfect" life quickly unravels. Worse, in today's single world, Cal, who hasn't dated in decades, stands out as the epitome of un-smooth. Now spending his free evenings sulking alone at a local bar, the hapless Cal is taken on as wingman and protege to handsome, thirtysomething player Jacob Palmer. In an effort to help Cal get over his wife and start living his life, Jacob opens Cal's eyes to the many options before him: flirty women, manly drinks and a sense of style that can't be found at Supercuts or The Gap. Cal and Emily aren't the only ones looking for love in what might be all the wrong places: Cal's 13-year-old son, Robbie, is crazy about his 17-year-old babysitter, Jessica, who harbors a crush on Cal. And despite Cal's makeover and his many new conquests, the one thing that can't be made over is his heart, which seems to keep leading him back to where he began.
TV-14
1:00 am
Movie (DVS)
Hall Pass
Rick and Fred are best friends who have a lot in common, including the fact that they have each been married for many years. But when the two men begin to show signs of restlessness at home, their wives take a bold approach to revitalizing their marriages: granting them a "hall pass," one week of freedom to do whatever they want...no questions asked. At first, it sounds like a dream come true for Rick and Fred. But it isn't long before they discover that their expectations of the single life--and themselves--are completely, and hilariously, out of sync with reality.
TV-14
3:00 am
Movie
You, Me and Dupree
Carl and Molly have found the one unfortunate hitch in their perfectly constructed newly wedded world: Dupree. A slacker with the soul of a poet, Dupree just can''t seem to catch a break from "The Man." When he takes a week off to go be the best-man at Carl and Molly''s wedding in Hawaii, Dupree gets the unceremonious heave-ho from his boss. Now jobless, car-less and evicted from the cot at his favorite watering hole, he just needs to crash with the Petersons for a couple of days; okay, maybe a month or so. At first, Carl is psyched to have the couch guest while Molly bears the brunt of Dupree''s well-meaning antics. But, as Carl becomes buried in his grown-up job of land development and headaches, he finds it hard to juggle Dupree and his newlywed responsibilities. As time passes, his and Molly''s houseguest uses his ample spare time to become a great companion to her, underscoring Carl''s new workaholic tendencies. Even Molly''s dad begins to fall for Dupree''s carefree wisdom, frustrating Carl to no end. Soon, everyone--but Carl--begins to root for Dupree to stick around. But just as the impish buddy starts becoming a fixture in the Petersons'' home, three becomes not just a crowd, but a full-blown comic catastrophe. As the couple realizes their ideas of a white-picket fence marriage are morphing, their loveable pal serves as a daily reminder that finding your inner Dupree might just be one of life''s hidden secrets
TV-14
5:00 am
Married With Children
Chicago Shoe Exchange
Al and Griff trade the shoe store's inventory for a massage chair.
TV-PG
5:30 am
Married With Children
Lez Be Friends
Al strikes up a friendship with Marcy's identical cousin.
TV-PG
 

Monday, November 3

6:00 am
Full House
Crushed
Stephanie's favorite rock star, TOMMY PAGE, comes to her birthday party. D.J. also yearns for Tommy, and the girls both try to win his affection.
TV-G
6:30 am
Rules of Engagement
Game On
TV-PG
7:00 am
Married With Children
Desperate Half-Hour (1), The
Bud's prison pen pal arrives to rob the Bundys.
TV-PG
7:30 am
Married With Children
How to Marry a Moron (2)
Al objects to Kelly marrying an armed robber, until he discovers that he's the heir to a family fortune.
TV-PG
8:00 am
King of Queens, The
Missing Links
Doug and Carrie search for a compatible couple to take with them to the firm's annual golf outing.
TV-PG
8:30 am
King of Queens, The
Hero Worship
Doug's uncle (Gavin MacLeod) offers to back financially his desire to open a sandwich shop.
TV-PG
9:00 am
Movie
Envy
Tim and Nick are best friends, neighbors and co-workers, whose equal footing is suddenly tripped up when one of Nick's hare-brained get-rich-quick schemes actually succeeds: the Vaporizer, a spray that literally makes dog poop, or any other kind for that matter, evaporate into thin air--to where, exactly, is anyone's guess. Tim, who had scoffed at Nick's idea and passed on an opportunity to get in on the deal, can only watch as Nick's fortune--and Tim's own envy--grow to equally outrageous proportions. When the flames of jealousy are fanned by an oddball drifter who imposes himself into the situation, Tim's life careens wildly out of control, taking Nick's with it.
TV-PG
11:00 am
America's Funniest Home Videos
AFHV #2111
I do's and don't's and state spotlight: New Jersey
TV-G
12:00 pm
Cleveland Show, The
How Cleveland Got His Groove Back
After being humiliated in a baseball challenge, Cleveland decides to vacation in Africa, but a layover in Hawaii proves to be the cure for his shattered confidence.
TV-14
12:30 pm
Cleveland Show, The
It's the Great Pancake, Junior Brown
When Cleveland concludes that Cleveland Jr. is too young for Halloween trick or treating, Junior reinvents his personality and becomes one of the "cool kids."
TV-14
1:00 pm
American Dad
Spelling Bee My Baby
Francine pressures Steve to win the National Spelling Bee so he can get into a top college. Stan and Roger try to slam Hayley through the five stages of grief so she will get over Jeff faster.
TV-14
1:30 pm
American Dad
Missing Kink, The
Francine discovers she has a spanking fetish; Hayley goes out on a date with Snot.
TV-14
2:00 pm
American Dad
Boring Identity, The
When Stan loses his memory, Francine attempts to transform him into the perfect husband; Roger joins Steve's newspaper route.
TV-14
2:30 pm
American Dad
Full Cognitive Redaction of Avery Bullock by the Coward Stan Smith, The
Stan learns that the CIA wants to wipe out Bullock's memory after he exhibits signs of dementia; Roger hires Stelio Kontos to deal with a student who's bullying Steve at school.
TV-14
3:00 pm
Robot Chicken
Terms of Endaredevil
Discover the secret origins of Mo-Larr, Eternian Destist! Lara Croft makes a terrifying find in a tomb, He-Man's father proves that sometimes the apple falls very, very far from the tree, and the creators imagine how Gargamel might finally get the best of the Smurf's in Smurfitar!
TV-14
3:15 pm
Robot Chicken
Big Trouble in Little Clerks 2
The creators imagine what goes on deep in the jungles of Pandora late at night, Harold and his purple crayon go on an adventure in a bad neighborhood, Major Nelson uses Jeannie to get back at NASA for firing him, and everyone in the G.I. Joe ranks gets to animal sidekick.
TV-14
3:30 pm
Childrens Hospital
Children's Hospital: A Play in Three Acts
Childrens Hospital presents a very special episode that will take you back to simpler times, when ladies wore dresses, men wore top hats and clowns knew their place.
TV-14
3:45 pm
Childrens Hospital
Munch by Proxy
Owen's secret wife, Alicia Silverstone, brings their baby in with a mysterious wound. Val dances with the Devil and by 'dances' I mean plays chess for her life.
TV-14
4:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With Rachel's Book, The
Monica is outraged to find out what her parents did with her wedding fund. Joey discovers Rachel's late-night reading material.
TV-PG
4:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With Phoebe's Cookies, The
Monica desperately tries to figure out a secret cookie recipe. Chandler fails to impress Monica's father.
TV-PG
5:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With Rachel's Assistant, The
Rachel is in a quandary when a sexy but unqualified man (EDDIE CAHILL) applies to be her assistant. Chandler, Monica and Ross tell embarrassing secrets about one another.
TV-PG
5:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With the Engagement Picture, The
Joey tries to teach Chandler how to smile for the camera. Phoebe and Ross bicker over their divorcing friends.
TV-PG
6:00 pm
Seinfeld
Scofflaw, The
A friend (Jon Lovitz) fakes illness to get Jerry's sympathy; Kramer obstructs justice.
TV-PG
6:30 pm
Seinfeld
Kiss Hello, The
Jerry stops greeting friends with a kiss; Uncle Leo puts Nana in a nursing home; guest Wendie Malick, Carol Leifer.
TV-PG
7:00 pm
Seinfeld
Beard, The
Elaine tries to change a gay man; George and his date have similar problems.
TV-PG
7:30 pm
Seinfeld
Doorman, The
A doorman (Larry Miller) tries to cause trouble for Jerry; Kramer develops a male undergarment.
TV-PG
8:00 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
He's Bla-ack!
With the Brown family moving back to Quahog, it looks like the old gang is reunited. But PeterÆs friendship with Cleveland is quickly put on hold when Donna and Lois butt heads over different parenting styles, and forbid them to see each other.
TV-14
8:30 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Chap Stewie
Stewie is happily watching the season finale of his favorite British television program when Chris and Peter suddenly show up in the living room, playing a game where they run around and hit each other with mattresses. Peter knocks Chris into the television set, which breaks and leaves Stewie furious because he can't watch his show. He throws a tantrum and gets sent to his room, where he decides to rebuild his time machine and use it to prevent his birth into the Griffin family.
TV-14
9:00 pm
American Dad
Scents and Sensei-bility
Steve and Snot are fed up with being bullied. When they enroll in a karate class, Snot is brainwashed by the sensei and its Steve's mission to get him back. Meanwhile, Klaus develops a horrible odor and is forced into being an outside pet.
TV-14
9:30 pm
American Dad
Kung Pao Turkey
Stan's plans for a perfect Thanksgiving watching football in his underwear are thwarted when Francine invites her adoptive parents to join them for the holiday. Meanwhile, Francine's mom encourages Hayley to get back on the dating scene and invites an eligible bachelor over, but her true intentions are revealed at Thanksgiving dinner.
TV-14
10:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Love Spell Potential, The
When the girls' trip to Vegas falls through, the guys invite them to a Dungeons & Dragons date night that causes Sheldon and Amy's relationship to take an unexpected turn.
TV-PG
10:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Bon Voyage Reaction, The
On the sixth season finale, Sheldon and Penny are thrown for a loop when Leonard is offered an exciting new job opportunity overseas.
TV-PG
11:00 pm
Conan (CC)
Episode 5644
Guests: Jane Fonda, Ramon Rodriguez and Twin Shadow
TV-14
12:00 am
Friends of the People
Meet the Friends
The Friends of the People debut their unique brand of humor including; an introduction to celebrity mash-up character Tracy Morgan Freeman, a night with a man who has an over active brain worm, and a heated Squabblin & Quarrelin' debate with the Lucas Brothers. Plus the FOTP create fun moments with real people on the streets of NYC.
TV-14
12:30 am
Conan (CC)
Episode 5644
Guests: Jane Fonda, Ramon Rodriguez and Twin Shadow
TV-14
1:30 am
Cougar Town (SAP)
My Life/Your World (Part 2 of 2)
"My Life/Your World" -- When Grayson complains that he's living the movie "Groundhog Day" because the gang shows up at the same time every day at Jules' house, Jules asks for a "Groundhog Day"-themed bachelorette party so that Ellie and Laurie can explain the movie to her. Then, fed up with the lack of privacy, Grayson convinces Jules to elope to Napa . . . but the cul de sac crew happily tags along, on "Cougar Town." David Arquette guest stars as a hotel concierge who'll go to great (and possibly illegal) lengths to help the wine wedding go off without a hitch.
TV-PG
2:00 am
Movie
Envy
Tim and Nick are best friends, neighbors and co-workers, whose equal footing is suddenly tripped up when one of Nick's hare-brained get-rich-quick schemes actually succeeds: the Vaporizer, a spray that literally makes dog poop, or any other kind for that matter, evaporate into thin air--to where, exactly, is anyone's guess. Tim, who had scoffed at Nick's idea and passed on an opportunity to get in on the deal, can only watch as Nick's fortune--and Tim's own envy--grow to equally outrageous proportions. When the flames of jealousy are fanned by an oddball drifter who imposes himself into the situation, Tim's life careens wildly out of control, taking Nick's with it.
TV-PG
4:00 am
Married With Children
Pilot
Al and Peg Bundy meet their newlywed neighbors, Steve and Marcy Rhoades. Peg informs Marcy how to train her new husband, while Al teaches Steve how to be a man again.
TV-PG
4:30 am
Married With Children
Thinergy
Marcy enlightens Peggy with a new diet book called "Thinergy," a program which only works if both partners go through it together.
TV-PG
5:00 am
Married With Children
Sixteen Years and What Do You Get?
Al's credit card is maxed out when he tries to find a gift for Peggy on their anniversary.
TV-PG
5:30 am
Married With Children
But I Didn't Shoot the Deputy
Steve and Marcy buy a huge watch dog which annoys Al with his constant barking. But when Peggy hears a noise in the night, Al accidentally shoots the dog.
TV-PG
 

Tuesday, November 4

6:00 am
Full House
Spellbound
Stephanie competes in a spelling contest at school. Jesse gives Michelle a reading lesson, and Danny gives Stephanie a lesson in being a good loser.
TV-G
6:30 am
Rules of Engagement
Kids
TV-PG
7:00 am
Married With Children
Have You Driven a Ford Lately?
Al and Steve buy a classic Mustang and become consumed in restoring back to mint condition.
TV-PG
7:30 am
Married With Children
Whose Room Is It Anyway?
The Rhoades get a tax refund and they decide to build a room, but can't decide on what kind of room to build, a pool room for Al or an exercise room for Peggy.
TV-PG
8:00 am
King of Queens, The
Screwed Driver
Doug's parents take over the house when Carrie goes on a business trip.
TV-PG
8:30 am
King of Queens, The
Lush Life
Doug tries to get Carrie inebriated so he can cheat on his diet.
TV-PG
9:00 am
Movie
Tyler Perry's The Family That Preys
Wealthy socialite Charlotte Cartwright and her dear friend Alice Pratt, a working class woman of high ideals, have enjoyed a lasting friendship throughout many years. Suddenly, their lives become mired in turmoil as their adult children's extramarital affairs, unethical business practices and a dark paternity secret threaten to derail family fortunes and unravel the lives of all involved. Alice's self-centered newlywed daughter Andrea is betraying her trusting husband Chris by engaging in a torrid affair with her boss and mother's best friend's son William. While cheating on his wife Jillian with a string of ongoing dalliances with his mistress Andrea, William's true focus is to replace the COO of his mother's lucrative construction corporation. Meanwhile, Alice's other daughter Pam, a kind but no nonsense woman married to a hard working construction worker, tries to steer the family in a more positive direction. While paternity secrets, marital infidelity, greed and unsavory business dealings threaten to derail both families, Charlotte and Alice decide to take a breather from it all by making a cross-country road trip in which they rediscover themselves and possibly find a way to save their families from ruin.
TV-14
11:00 am
America's Funniest Home Videos
AFHV #2112
Naughty boys and football
TV-G
12:00 pm
Cleveland Show, The
Little Man on Campus
After his star pitcher is forced to leave the high school's baseball team, Cleveland enlists Holt's help after he turns out to have an excellent pitching arm.
TV-14
12:30 pm
Cleveland Show, The
Fat and Wet
Donna asks Cleveland to keep an eye on Rallo, but the boy almost drowns in a swimming pool, leaving Cleveland vulnerable to Rallo's blackmail scheme; Cleveland Jr. and Kendra attempt to eliminate discrimination against heavy-set people.
TV-14
1:00 pm
American Dad
Lost in Space
In order to return to Earth, the space-bound Jeff must convince an Emperor that he is in love with Hayley.
TV-14
1:30 pm
American Dad
Da Flippity Flop
Klaus swaps bodies with Stan after discovering that his original human body is on ice at the CIA; after converting the attic into a gym, Roger attempts to convince Stan to sign up for a lifetime membership.
TV-14
2:00 pm
American Dad
Steve and Snot's Test-Tubular Adventure
Stan reveals that the C.I.A. has a cloning machine at work. Steve and Snot decide to use the machine to clone girls so that they will finally have prom dates. The cloning process backfires as the girls emerge as babies.
TV-14
2:30 pm
American Dad
Poltergasm
Steve and Roger discover that the house is haunted. The ghost appears as an apparition of a younger Francine. The ghost grows more powerful until it attacks Hayley's boyfriend and pulls him into the netherworld.
TV-14
3:00 pm
Robot Chicken
Casablankman
See! Rubik the Amazing Cube as he returns for one last adventure. Watch! As kids try out the newest fad getting Suped. Discover! The secret behind a small doorway in a little boys room. And finally, the creators imagine what Eternias 24-hour gym might be like.
TV-14
3:15 pm
Robot Chicken
Godfather of the Bride II, The
Remember when MTV used to actually be about music The MTV logo does and its out for revenge. The Robot Chicken Nerd dreams of hanging out with Michael Knight from Knight Rider. A bunch of Spocks from the future gather for a surprise party and the creators imagine what television will be like in the year 2013.
TV-14
3:30 pm
Childrens Hospital
Night Shift, The
Tonight the Childrens Hospital doctors are assigned to work the Nightshfit. European doctor, Velam Geza (Nick Kroll) joins the team to help show them the ropes. A doctor dies.
TV-14
3:45 pm
Childrens Hospital
Chet Episode, The
In a very special episode, the action follows a day in the life of the creepy, pathetic paramedic, Chet (Brian Huskey).
TV-14
4:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With the Nap Partners, The
Rachel and Phoebe compete to be Monica's maid of honor, but Monica doesn't want to make the decision. Chandler tries to apologize to a girlfriend from his youth.
TV-PG
4:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With Ross's Library Book, The
Chandler's former girlfriend (MAGGIE WHEELER) manipulates Chandler and Monica. Rachel and Phoebe meddle in Joey's relationship. KRISTIN DAVIS also guest stars.
TV-PG
5:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With All the Candy, The
Rachel gets in trouble for dating her assistant (EDDIE CAHILL). Monica tries to become friendlier with her neighbors. Phoebe needs lessons in riding a bike.
TV-PG
5:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With All the Cheesecakes, The
Phoebe's former boyfriend returns for one night only, but Joey could ruin their plans. Monica plots revenge on her cousin's wedding day.
TV-PG
6:00 pm
Seinfeld
Jimmy, The
Jerry suspects his dentist and hygienist are living out their fantasies at his expense.
TV-PG
6:30 pm
Seinfeld
Doodle, The
Fleas force Jerry and his parents out of his apartment; guest Christa Miller.
TV-PG
7:00 pm
Seinfeld
Fusilli Jerry, The
A mechanic pal (Patrick Warburton) uses Jerry's romantic techniques on Elaine.
TV-PG
7:30 pm
Seinfeld
Diplomat's Club, The
Kramer woos a rich Texan in hopes she will finance his women's fashion line; guests Debra Jo Rupp, Kim Zimmer.
TV-PG
8:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Hofstadter Insufficiency, The
In the Season 7 premiere, Leonard is away at sea, so Sheldon & Penny spend some time together and spill some revealing secrets. Meanwhile, Howard comes to Raj's aid after his breakup with his girlfriend.
TV-PG
8:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Deception Verification, The
Leonard returns from the North Sea expedition and finds things chilly between him and Sheldon, while Howard's relationship with his mother opens the door to questions about his masculinity.
TV-14
9:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Scavenger Vortex, The
Raj puts together a scavenger hunt that turns into serious, cutthroat competition among the gang.
TV-PG
9:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Raiders Minimization, The
Sheldon is fit to be tied when Amy ruins one of his favorite adventure films, while Leonard finds the key to getting Penny to do his bidding, and Raj & Stuart get creative with their online-dating profiles.
TV-PG
10:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Workplace Proximity, The
Amy takes a job at Sheldon's university, putting their relationship to the test.
TV-PG
10:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Proton Displacement, The
When Sheldon's childhood hero, Professor Proton (Bob Newhart), seeks Leonard's help with an experiment, the slighted Sheldon goes nuclear and decides to get revenge by befriending another TV science guy, Bill Nye.
TV-PG
11:00 pm
Conan (CC)
Episode 5645
Guests: Jane Fonda, Ramon Rodriguez and Twin Shadow
TV-14
12:00 am
Cougar Town (SAP)
Blue Sunday
It's the first week of marriage for Grayson and Jules, but when Grayson doesn't know the rules, he soon becomes Jules' "coffee and wine bitch." After Travis' 21st birthday, Bobby tries to make up for lost time by teaching him lessons about being a man. And Ellie and Laurie try to pull Jules out of her depression when Grayson refuses to apologize for what he did in her dream.
TV-14
12:30 am
Conan (CC)
Episode 5645
Guests: Jane Fonda, Ramon Rodriguez and Twin Shadow
TV-14
1:30 am
Cougar Town (SAP)
I Need to Know
Jules releases Travis from mandatory family night, but when he stays away too long, she becomes crazed. Ellie discovers she can get Andy to do anything she wants by training him like a dog. And the guys grow mustaches to look cool like Tom Selleck
TV-14
2:00 am
Movie
3:45 am
TBS Network Preview
Episode 1
A backstage peek at TBS's original programs.
4:00 am
Married With Children
Al Loses His Cherry
An argument leads Al to Luke's bachelor pad, where he basks in the swingers life he had envisioned.
TV-PG
4:30 am
Married With Children
Peggy Sue Got Work
When Peggy asks Al for a VCR, Marcy suggests that she go to work and earn the money herself where she learns what having a job is all about...minimum wage.
TV-PG
5:00 am
Married With Children
Married ... Without Children
Al and Peg run away for the weekend and leave Bud and Kelly with the Rhoades, who've underestimated their intelligence.
TV-PG
5:30 am
Married With Children
Poker Game, The
Steve loses his paycheck in a poker game to Al and needs to get it back before Marcy finds out.
TV-PG
 

Wednesday, November 5

6:00 am
Full House
Too Much Monkey Business
Danny's sister Wendy comes to town with her pet chimpanzee to interview for a job at the local zoo. The chimpanzee wreaks havoc and develops a liking for Jesse--as Joey and Wendy start their own romance.
TV-G
6:30 am
Rules of Engagement
Hard Day's Night
TV-PG
7:00 am
Married With Children
Where's the Boss?
Al can't seem to find Gary anywhere, which leads him to the conclusion that she's dead. He decides to go find another job.
TV-PG
7:30 am
Married With Children
Nightmare on Al's Street
Marcy has dreams about Al while Steve is on a business trip, leading her to ask Peggy for help.
TV-PG
8:00 am
King of Queens, The
Patrons Ain't
When their accountant makes them feel guilty about their lack of charitable donations, Doug and Carrie decide to make a large donation to a school library.
TV-PG
8:30 am
King of Queens, The
Bun Dummy
Doug tries to find a tactful way of telling Carrie he does not like her new hairstyle.
TV-PG
9:00 am
Movie
Spy Next Door, The
Bob Ho is an undercover CIA superspy who decides to give up his career in espionage to settle down with his next-door neighbor and girlfriend, Gillian. But Bob has one more mission to complete before Gillian agrees to marry him--winning over her three opinionated kids. When Gillian suddenly has to leave town, Bob volunteers to babysit the children so he can earn their approval. But when one of the kids mistakenly downloads a top-secret formula from his computer, Bob''s archenemy, a Russian terrorist, moves in for the attack, forcing Bob to juggle the roles of spy and prospective stepfather in the most challenging mission of his career.
TV-PG
11:00 am
America's Funniest Home Videos
AFHV #2113
Guest appearances by the canine stars of "Beverly Hills Chihuahua 2"
TV-G
12:00 pm
Cleveland Show, The
Another Bad Thanksgiving
Donna's sister abandons her two children during the Thanksgiving holiday so she and Holt can run off to Las Vegas.
TV-14
12:30 pm
Cleveland Show, The
Murray Christmas
During the Christmas holiday, Cleveland inadvertently gives his father a heart attack; Rallo makes friends with a Jewish man who lives at a retirement home.
TV-14
1:00 pm
American Dad
Buck, Wild
TV-14
1:30 pm
American Dad
Crotchwalkers
In a desperate attempt to show Steve that she's still a "cool" mom, Francine teaches him a vast array of shoplifting techniques to try out at the local mall. When their attempt to pull off the ultimate heist at "The Gash" goes awry, Steve is captured and sent to a Venezuelan sweatshop. Meanwhile, Roger, Hayley and Klaus form Langley Falls' first Russian Balalaika trio.
TV-14
2:00 pm
American Dad
Kung Pao Turkey
Stan's plans for a perfect Thanksgiving watching football in his underwear are thwarted when Francine invites her adoptive parents to join them for the holiday. Meanwhile, Francine's mom encourages Hayley to get back on the dating scene and invites an eligible bachelor over, but her true intentions are revealed at Thanksgiving dinner.
TV-14
2:30 pm
American Dad
Independent Movie
Snot's father dies but Snot refuses to go to the funeral. Steve convinces Snot to take a road trip across the country to attend. Along the way the boys experience life as an independent movie, complete with strange characters and moments of raw emotion.
TV-14
3:00 pm
Robot Chicken
Executed by the State
Season Six flies in with a brand spankin' new opening credit sequence! The Robot Chicken writers put G.I. Joe up to his biggest challenge yet; Find out what being a vegetarian is really all about; the creators answer the questions surrounding Starbucks famous logo; We see the next Hollywood blockbuster as Orville Redenbacher stars in Children of the Popcorn.
TV-14
3:15 pm
Robot Chicken
Crushed by a Steamroller on My 53rd Birthday
See how the writers imagine what goes on after an Alvin and the Chipmunks concert; Mary Poppins is the kind of nanny we'd love to have around; We discover why B.A. Baracus hates flying so much; The creators put G.I. Joe in a real war situation in Afghanistan.
TV-14
3:30 pm
Childrens Hospital
Party Down
Jewish heart surgeon, Glenn Richie, never had a Bar Mitzvah, so now it's up to his girlfriend Valerie and long time nemesis Rabbi Jewy McJewJew (David Wain) to plan one. áAlso, Owen Maestro sets out on a quest to get his foreskin back.
TV-14
3:45 pm
Childrens Hospital
Newsreaders
Newsreaders is back with their follow up episode on the Childrens Hospital cast.
TV-14
4:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One Where They're Up All Night, The
Monica falls asleep during sex. Rachel argues with Tag (EDDIE CAHILL). Ross and Joey get stranded on the roof.
TV-PG
4:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One Where Rosita Dies, The
Phoebe becomes involved with a suicidal office worker (JASON ALEXANDER). Rachel breaks Joey's favorite chair. Monica's beloved childhood belongings are destroyed.
TV-PG
5:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One Where They All Turn Thirty, The
Rachel's 30th birthday prompts the friends to reminisce about their own 30th birthdays.
TV-PG
5:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With Joey's New Brain, The
Joey's character on a daytime drama becomes more prominent to the chagrin of the show's diva star (SUSAN SARANDON). Phoebe and Rachel argue over who should return a sexy man's misplaced cell phone to him.
TV-PG
6:00 pm
Seinfeld
Understudy, The
George is suspected of injuring Bette Midler in a softball game.
TV-PG
6:30 pm
Seinfeld
Face Painter, The
Elaine's boyfriend's behavior at a hockey game appalls her and Jerry.
TV-PG
7:00 pm
Seinfeld
Highlights of a Hundred (Part I)
Jerry Seinfeld presents highlights from the series' first 100 episodes.
TV-PG
7:30 pm
Seinfeld
Highlights of a Hundred (Part 2)
Jerry Seinfeld presents highlights from the series' first 100 episodes.
TV-PG
8:00 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Barely Legal
Meg cannot find a date for the junior prom, so Brian goes with her.
TV-14
8:30 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Road to Rupert
Brian accidentally sells Stewie's beloved teddy bear, Rupert; Meg must drive Peter around after he loses his license.
TV-14
9:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Itchy Brain Simulation, The
Leonard fails to stop Sheldon from overreacting after a past slight comes to light, and as punishment Leonard must walk a mile in Sheldon's shoes. Meanwhile, Penny has a run-in with Raj's former girlfriend Lucy.
TV-PG
9:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Discovery Dissipation, The
When Sheldon's accidental scientific discovery is disproved, Amy and Leonard try to help him deal with the shame and the disappointment. Meanwhile, Howard and Bernadette open their home to Raj for a week.
TV-PG
10:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Hesitation Ramification, The
Penny turns to Leonard for comfort after her guest appearance on NCIS does not turn out well. She ends up putting Leonard on the spot regarding their relationship. Sheldon works on his sense of humor and Raj practices talking to girls.
TV-PG
10:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Occupation Recalibration, The
There's impactful news on the work front as Penny makes a big step toward pursuing a full-time acting career, and Sheldon is forced to take a vacation.
TV-PG
11:00 pm
Conan (CC)
Episode 5646
Guests: Jane Fonda, Ramon Rodriguez and Twin Shadow
TV-14
12:00 am
Cougar Town (SAP)
Between Two Worlds
Jules begins to worry that her marriage to Grayson lacks passion. But when she enlists Ellie to start a verbal firestorm, things quickly get too heated. Laurie helps Travis find his superpower. And Bobby tries to shake things up by taking on a 'cooler' persona.
TV-14
12:30 am
Conan (CC)
Episode 5646
Guests: Jane Fonda, Ramon Rodriguez and Twin Shadow
TV-14
1:30 am
Cougar Town (SAP)
I Should Have Known It
When Tom gets a new girlfriend (guest star Ali Wentworth), the girls decide to investigate. Bobby goes on a fake date with Ellie to improve his table manners. And after getting fed up with the girls' rules, Andy and Grayson rebel.
TV-14
2:00 am
Movie
Spy Next Door, The
Bob Ho is an undercover CIA superspy who decides to give up his career in espionage to settle down with his next-door neighbor and girlfriend, Gillian. But Bob has one more mission to complete before Gillian agrees to marry him--winning over her three opinionated kids. When Gillian suddenly has to leave town, Bob volunteers to babysit the children so he can earn their approval. But when one of the kids mistakenly downloads a top-secret formula from his computer, Bob''s archenemy, a Russian terrorist, moves in for the attack, forcing Bob to juggle the roles of spy and prospective stepfather in the most challenging mission of his career.
TV-PG
4:00 am
Married With Children
Johnny B. Gone
Al and Peggy have tickets to attend the final night of their favorite hamburger joint. But when family problems get in the way, Al may miss out on the historical night.
TV-PG
4:30 am
Married With Children
Buck Can Do It
Buck mates another dog, making the owner of the dog so angry that he sues Al.
TV-PG
5:00 am
Married With Children
Poppy's By the Tree (1)
The Bundys are at a hotel in Florida, only to find that an ax murderer lives there.
TV-PG
5:30 am
Married With Children
Poppy's By the Tree (2)
Peg gets kidnapped! Can Al get her back
TV-PG
 

Thursday, November 6

6:00 am
Full House
Devil Made Me Do It, The
Michelle discusses her mischievousness with the "Good Michelle" and the "Bad Michelle" before she actually misbehaves. When "Bad Michelle" wins, trouble follows.
TV-G
6:30 am
Rules of Engagement
Jeff's Wooby
TV-PG
7:00 am
Married With Children
If I Were a Rich Man
Al and Steve find out about 1 million dollars missing from the bank and the other Bundys think they have it.
TV-PG
7:30 am
Married With Children
For Whom the Bell Tolls
The phone line to the Bundys get cut off after Al refuses to pay the bill.
TV-PG
8:00 am
King of Queens, The
Shrink Wrap
Carrie and Doug send Arthur to a psychiatrist (William Hurt), to whom he reveals his relationship with his father (Ben Stiller).
TV-PG
8:30 am
King of Queens, The
Eddie Money
Doug tries to keep secret from Carrie $5,000 he won in a gambling pool.
TV-PG
9:00 am
Movie
Norbit
Norbit has never had it easy. As a baby, he was abandoned on the steps of a Chinese restaurant/orphanage and raised by Mr. Wong. Things get worse when he''s forced into marriage by the mean, junk food-chugging queen, Rasputia. Just when Norbit''s hanging by his last thread, his childhood sweetheart, Kate, moves back to town.
TV-PG
11:00 am
America's Funniest Home Videos
AFHV #2114
Second $100,000 show of season 21
TV-G
12:00 pm
Cleveland Show, The
Beer Walk
Cleveland invites his friend from Quahog to participate in a charity beer walk; Rallo dresses up like characters from famous horror movies.
TV-14
12:30 pm
Cleveland Show, The
Ain't Nothin' But Mutton Bustin'
Cleveland and Rallo bond at a sheep-riding exhibit at a petting zoo, but Rallo is crushed when he finds out what happens to the animals when they can no longer be ridden.
TV-14
1:00 pm
American Dad
Faking Bad
When Hayley tries to go clubbing with her old friends she is turned away at the door because she doesn't have proper ID. Hayley convinces Steve to make a fake ID for her. The fake ID is so good that Hayley and Steve go into business together as counterfeiters.
TV-14
1:30 pm
American Dad
Minstrel Krampus
When Steve starts acting like a spoiled brat during the holidays, Stan takes him to see his incarcerated Grandpa Jack, who tells him the story of how he caught Minstrel Krampus, a legendary demon who punishes naughty children on Christmas. Stan decides that releasing Krampus is the only way to straighten out Steve's attitude. But when Krampus kidnaps Steve, it's up to Stan and Roger to get him back. Meanwhile, Hayley gets a job at the airport, but quickly realizes that she might not be cut out for customer service.
TV-14
2:00 pm
American Dad
Vision: Impossible
Roger gets into a serious car accident and wakes up from his coma to discover that he now has the ability to see the future. He uses this ability to rescue the Smith family from dangerous situations.
TV-14
2:30 pm
American Dad
Familyland
The Smith family goes to the theme park "Familyland" for vacation. Francine wants the family to spend the day together, but the individual members go their separate ways. Francine cries in front of a statue of the park's founder, Roy Family, and awakens Roy from a deep slumber.
TV-14
3:00 pm
Robot Chicken
Punctured Jugular
Robot Chicken pitches The Fast and the Furious 6; We see Wilson from Cast Away in a Bourne Identity-type role; We find out what Odd Job does on his day off; The writers dream how different Scooby-Doo would be if Lisbeth Salander joined them.
TV-14
3:15 pm
Robot Chicken
Poisoned by Relatives
TV-MA
3:30 pm
Childrens Hospital
Boy with the Pancakes Tattoo
An airborne amnesia virus spreads panic. It also spreads memory loss.
TV-14
3:45 pm
Childrens Hospital
Staff Dance
Owen (Rob Huebel) is stunned when pop superstar Madonna (Madonna) pays a visit.
TV-14
4:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With the Truth About London, The
Chandler finds out who Monica really wanted to have sex with on the night they became lovers. Ross is furious after Rachel teaches Ben (COLE MITCHELL SPROUSE) practical jokes.
TV-PG
4:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With the Cheap Wedding Dress, The
Monica battles another shopper for the perfect wedding dress. Ross and Joey compete for the same woman.
TV-PG
5:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With Joey's Award, The
Joey overreacts at a daytime drama awards show. Daytime drama actresses McKENZIE WESTMORE and ALISON SWEENEY guest star.
TV-PG
5:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With Ross & Monica's Cousin, The
Monica's gorgeous cousin (DENISE RICHARDS) unwittingly wreaks havoc on Chandler and Ross. Rachel and Phoebe hastily plan a surprise bridal party for Monica.
TV-PG
6:00 pm
Seinfeld
Engagement, The
In an effort to grow up, George proposes marriage to former girlfriend Susan.
TV-PG
6:30 pm
Seinfeld
Postponement, The
Feeling overwhelmed, George wants to postpone marrying Susan.
TV-PG
7:00 pm
Seinfeld
Maestro, The
Elaine's boyfriend's comments on villas in Tuscany stirs Jerry's curiosity.
TV-PG
7:30 pm
Seinfeld
Wink, The
An uncontrollable wink creates problems for George and Kramer.
TV-PG
8:00 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Peter's Two Dads
After Peter's dad dies, he finds out that his real father lives in Ireland; Stewie realizes that he likes when Lois spanks him, so he purposely gets into trouble.
TV-14
8:30 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Tan Aquatic with Steve Zissou, The
Peter beats up a bully who harasses Chris; Stewie obsesses over getting a tan then fears he has cancer after spending too much time in a tanning booth.
TV-14
9:00 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Airport '07
Peter causes Quagmire to lose his job as a pilot; Hugh Hefner gives Quagmire advice, which leads him to save the day.
TV-14
9:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Convention Conundrum, The
Unable to score tickets for Comic-Con, Sheldon decides to stage his own comic-book convention, while the ladies attempt to act like "grown ups".
TV-PG
10:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Friendship Turbulence, The
Things turn rocky between Sheldon and Wolowitz after a barrage of insults, and Bernadette steps in to mediate a peace. Meanwhile, Penny is offered a movie role that may prove embarrassing.
TV-PG
10:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Mommy Observation, The
While Sheldon and Howard continue their bonding holiday to Houston Texas; Sheldon's surprise visit to see his Mommy forces him to start addressing a new reality. Meanwhile the rest of the gang are subjected to a surprise Koothrappali "Murder Mystery" party that leads the gang to speculate where they might all be 20 years from now.
TV-PG
11:00 pm
Conan (CC)
Episode 5647
Guests: Jane Fonda, Ramon Rodriguez and Twin Shadow
TV-14
12:00 am
Cougar Town (SAP)
Runnin' Down a Dream
Jules decides that her heart is no longer in the real estate business. Meanwhile, Bobby discovers his dream job selling premade burgers from a truck. Unfortunately Bobby's Burger Truck proves the perfect opportunity for Ellie to be rude to strangers.
TV-14
12:30 am
Conan (CC)
Episode 5647
Guests: Jane Fonda, Ramon Rodriguez and Twin Shadow
TV-14
1:30 am
Office, The (SAP)
Secret Santa
Andy's Twelve Days of Christmas-themed Secret Santa gifts to Erin do more harm than good. Dwight and Jim hope to infuse the staff with holiday spirit, but Jim's decision to let Phyllis play Santa at the Dunder Mifflin Christmas party ires Michael. A new warehouse worker catches Oscar's eye.
TV-PG
2:00 am
Movie
Norbit
Norbit has never had it easy. As a baby, he was abandoned on the steps of a Chinese restaurant/orphanage and raised by Mr. Wong. Things get worse when he''s forced into marriage by the mean, junk food-chugging queen, Rasputia. Just when Norbit''s hanging by his last thread, his childhood sweetheart, Kate, moves back to town.
TV-PG
4:00 am
Married With Children
Girls Just Wanna Have Fun (1)
Marcy and Peggy go to a strip club, but Marcy ends up losing her ring in a very uncomfortable space...
TV-PG
4:30 am
Married With Children
Girls Just Wanna Have Fun (2)
The men take action over Peg and Marcy, just to make them feel bad about what happened.
TV-PG
5:00 am
Married With Children
Born to Walk
Al needs to renew his license, but fails the test. Kelly, on the other hand, gets her license on the same day.
TV-PG
5:30 am
Married With Children
Alley of the Dolls
When Peggy's old high school rival challenges her to a family bowl-off, Peggy is determined to win - with the help of an "adopted" Bundy, ringer Steve Rhoades.
TV-PG