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SCHEDULE: April 2017

Times listed for EASTERN and PACIFIC timezones except where otherwise noted.

Sunday, April 23

6:00 am
Married With Children
You Better Shop Around Part 2
When the Bundys are evicted from the supermarket where they've taken up temporary residence, Al inadvertently becomes their one millionth customer; but Marcy claims otherwise.
TV-PG
6:30 am
Married With Children
Route 666 Part 1
When Al takes the family on a road trip to a shoe convention in California, the Bundys discover a golden opportunity when their car breaks down in the middle of a ghost town.
TV-PG
7:00 am
Married With Children
Route 666 Part 2
The California Coast will have to wait when, stranded in a ghost town, the Bundys and the D'Arcys catch gold fever and become wary mining partners.
TV-PG
7:30 am
Friends (SAP)
One Where No One Proposes, The
Joey finds himself engaged to Rachel soon after she delivers her baby girl, while Phoebe assumes Ross is the one who proposed.
TV-PG
8:00 am
Friends (SAP)
One Where Emma Cries, The
Joey seeks forgiveness from Ross, while Rachel tries to quell Emma's incessant crying.
TV-PG
8:30 am
Friends (SAP)
One with the Pediatrician, The
Emma's pediatrician drops her as a patient because of Rachel's constant calls.
TV-PG
9:00 am
Friends (SAP)
One with the Sharks, The
Monica fears Chandler has a sexual fetish involving sharks.
TV-14
9:30 am
Friends (SAP)
One with Phoebe's Birthday Dinner, The
Famished Phoebe waits for tardy friends to arrive at her birthday dinner.
TV-PG
10:00 am
Friends (SAP)
One with the Male Nanny, The
Ross ridicules Rachel's choice of a male nanny.
TV-PG
10:30 am
Friends (SAP)
One with Ross's Inappropriate Song, The
Chandler and Joey find a videotape while checking out Richard's apartment; Ross sings Emma an off-color lullaby.
TV-PG
11:00 am
Friends (SAP)
One with Rachel's Phone Number, The
Rachel impulsively gives her telephone number to a handsome guy but worries he will call when Ross is there.
TV-PG
11:30 am
Movie
Heartbreak Kid, The
After years of bachelorhood and ample pressure from his father, Doc, and best friend Mac, Eddie Cantrow starts to wonder if he is being too picky about the women he meets. So when a chance encounter with an alluring blonde named Lila leads to a sweet romance, Eddie impulsively proposes. But right after the wedding, as the newlyweds get to know each other on the drive down the California coast, Eddie begins to realize he''s made a terrible mistake. Soon after reaching their exotic Mexican hideaway, he falls for the down-to-earth Miranda, who has no clue he''s on his honeymoon. Now Eddie has to find a way to extricate himself from his days-old marriage without losing the girl of his dreams.
TV-14
1:45 pm
Movie
Duplex
In terms of living the American Dream, Alex and Nancy have it pretty good. They are a young, vibrant couple in New York City with bright futures ahead of them. But one thing is missing: a home of their own. When they find one, it comes with one feature they didn''t expect--an upstairs tenant, Mrs. Connelly, who lives in a rent-controlled apartment, and who isn''t quite as easy-going or frail as Alex and Nancy originally anticipated. As their blissful life begins to seriously fray around the edges, their dream home rapidly turns into a nightmare and they decide that they must get Mrs. Connelly out of their lives.
TV-14
3:45 pm
Movie (DVS)
Tammy
Tammy is having a bad day. She's totaled her clunker car, gotten fired from her thankless job at a greasy burger joint, and instead of finding comfort at home, finds her husband getting comfortable with the neighbor in her own house. It's time to take her boom box and book it. The bad news is she's broke and without wheels. The worse news is her grandma, Pearl, is her only option-with a car, cash, and an itch to see Niagara Falls. Not exactly the escape Tammy had in mind. But on the road, with grandma riding shot gun, it may be just what Tammy needs.
TV-14
5:45 pm
Movie (DVS)
Blended
After a disastrous blind date, single parents Lauren and Jim agree on only one thing: they never want to see each other again. But when they each sign up separately for a fabulous family vacation with their kids, they're all stuck sharing a suite at a luxurious African safari resort for a week.
TV-14
8:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Launch Acceleration, The
When NASA reschedules Howard's mission and puts his wedding plans in jeopardy, he's forced to face his fears and Bernadette's dad (guest star CASEY SANDER).
TV-PG
8:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Countdown Reflection, The
When Howard and Bernadette decide they want to be married before his NASA space launch, the gang rushes to put on a wedding, on the fifth season finale.
TV-PG
9:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Date Night Variable, The
On the sixth season premiere, Howard discovers that he can't escape his mother -- even in space! Back on earth, meanwhile, Raj turns his existence as a third wheel into an art form.
TV-14
9:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Decoupling Fluctuation, The
When Sheldon learns that Penny is thinking about breaking up with Leonard, he tries to intervene. Meanwhile, Howard is being picked on in space by the other astronauts.
TV-PG
10:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Higgs Boson Observation, The
Amy's nervous when Sheldon hires Alex, a female assistant.
TV-PG
10:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Re-Entry Minimization, The
Howard returns from space...without the welcome he wanted.
TV-PG
11:00 pm
Movie
Heartbreak Kid, The
After years of bachelorhood and ample pressure from his father, Doc, and best friend Mac, Eddie Cantrow starts to wonder if he is being too picky about the women he meets. So when a chance encounter with an alluring blonde named Lila leads to a sweet romance, Eddie impulsively proposes. But right after the wedding, as the newlyweds get to know each other on the drive down the California coast, Eddie begins to realize he''s made a terrible mistake. Soon after reaching their exotic Mexican hideaway, he falls for the down-to-earth Miranda, who has no clue he''s on his honeymoon. Now Eddie has to find a way to extricate himself from his days-old marriage without losing the girl of his dreams.
TV-14
1:15 am
Movie
Great Gatsby, The
1922 New York was a city swinging to jazz rhythms, fueled by champagne and rapid growth. In the midst of this heady atmosphere, one young man, Nick Carraway, becomes intent on understanding the events surrounding the charismatic, wealthy and mysterious Jay Gatsby.
TV-PG
4:15 am
TBS Network Preview
Episode 1
A backstage peek at TBS's original programs.
4:30 am
New Girl
Apartment, The
Cece moves into the loft; Jess must finish the school's budget by morning; Winston gets a new partner to avoid having to work side-by-side with Aly.
TV-14
5:00 am
New Girl
D-Day
Jess agrees to lend Schmidt a hand when he takes over wedding planning after Cece gets an exciting job offer, but things take a bad turn when Schmidt's dad shows up. Meanwhile, Winston and Nick compete to determine who has the harder job.
TV-14
5:30 am
Everybody Loves Raymond (SAP)
Recovering Pessimist
Ray's efforts at optimism backfire.
TV-PG
 

Monday, April 24

6:00 am
Married With Children
Buck the Stud
Buck the Dog has romantic designs on every bitch in the neighborhood, but dashes Peg & Al's hopes of becoming wealthy breeders when he refuses to court a pampered pedigree.
TV-PG
6:30 am
Married With Children
She's Having My Baby Part 1
Marcy excitedly announces she's pregnant but Al's glee at Jefferson's misfortune turns to horror when Peg breaks the news that she too has a little Bundy in the oven.
TV-PG
7:00 am
Married With Children
She's Having My Baby Part 2
While mothers-to-be Peg and Marcy keep everyone hopping with their demands, Al, unable to face another 20 years of parenting, decides to make a run for it.
TV-PG
7:30 am
Married With Children
If Al Had a Hammer
Al, seeking refuge from all forms of women, pregnant or otherwise, decides to build a clubhouse where he can get away from it all, but it's soon overrun by other desperate fathers-to-be.
TV-PG
8:00 am
Friends (SAP)
One Where Rachel Goes Back to Work, The
Rachel crosses swords with her temporary replacement at the shop; Phoebe wreaks havoc on the set of Joey's soap opera.
TV-PG
8:30 am
Friends (SAP)
One with Phoebe's Rats, The
Monica invites Rachel's workplace rival to her birthday party; Joey flirts with Emma's new nanny; Phoebe and Mike take care of a litter of rats.
TV-PG
9:00 am
Friends (SAP)
One Where Monica Sings, The
Monica exults in the applause she receives on karaoke night, unaware that the cheering audience can see through her blouse.
TV-PG
9:30 am
Friends (SAP)
One with the Blind Dates, The
Joey and Phoebe conspire to send Rachel and Ross on disastrous blind dates.
TV-14
10:00 am
Friends (SAP)
One with the Mugging, The
Joey stumbles upon a way to impress a famous actor during an audition; Ross learns the identity of a long-ago mugger; Chandler accepts an internship at a shoe company.
TV-PG
10:30 am
Friends (SAP)
One with the Boob Job, The
Both Monica and Chandler secretly approach Joey for a loan; Phoebe invites Mike to move in with her; Rachel baby-proofs the apartment.
TV-PG
11:00 am
Friends (SAP)
One with the Memorial Service, The
Ross and Chandler trade barbed insults on their alma mater's Web site.
TV-PG
11:30 am
Friends (SAP)
One with the Lottery, The
The gang buys scads of lottery tickets for the multimillion-dollar jackpot.
TV-PG
12:00 pm
Cleveland Show, The
When a Man (Or a Freight Train) Loves His Cookie
When Freight Train misses their anniversary, Cookie runs off with musician George Clinton; Junior's visit to an office supply store triggers an elaborate fantasy.
TV-14
12:30 pm
Cleveland Show, The
Pins, Spins and Fins
Rallo thinks he's a stud bowler when he keeps scoring strikes by using the gutter rails. But when his prowess goes to his head, Donna reveals to him the hard truth: little kids mostly suck at everything. Cleveland, Lester, Holt and Terry decide their friendship has become too predictable, and attempt to spice things up by taking a road trip to an abandoned amusement park.
TV-14
1:00 pm
American Dad
Scents and Sensei-bility
Steve and Snot are fed up with being bullied. When they enroll in a karate class, Snot is brainwashed by the sensei and it's Steve's mission to get him back. Meanwhile, Klaus develops a horrible odor and is forced to be an outside pet.
TV-14
1:30 pm
American Dad (DVS)
Now and Gwen
When Francine's sister Gwen comes to town, Hayley suspects she is up to no good. Meanwhile, Stan teaches Steve the art of hugging Aunt Gwen and Klaus shadows Roger's dramatic comments.
TV-14
2:00 pm
American Dad
Morning Mimosa
When Steve insults Francine, she refuses to cook for him and he becomes a successful internet chef, appearing on a popular morning show. Meanwhile, Stan thinks he can make people invisible by snapping his fingers. Steve becomes an internet sensation called the "Orphan Chef." His success lands him a spot on "Morning Mimosa," Francine's favorite morning show. Meanwhile, Stan is arrested for his insane behavior. Meanwhile, Stan thinks he can make people disappear by snapping his fingers and saying "Gone."
TV-14
2:30 pm
American Dad (DVS)
Dreaming of a White Porsche Christmas
When Stan wishes he could have Principal Lewis' carefree, single life, his wish comes true! Meanwhile, in his wish world, Principal Lewis has Stan's family.
TV-14
3:00 pm
Bob's Burgers
Food Truckin
Bob's family persuades him to buy a food truck and compete with the ones stealing his customers right outside the restaurant. When the Belchers bring their food truck to the "Lolla-Pa-Foods-A-Festival," the Belcher kids' mischief causes the foodies and other truck owners to riot against them.
TV-14
3:30 pm
Bob's Burgers
Dr. Yap
Linda's sister Gayle joins the family ski trip. But before she does so, she picks up a heavily medicated Bob from Dr. Yap, the family dentist. When Bob mistakes Gayle for Linda and kisses her, Gayle falls for Bob. So Bob turns to Dr. Yap for help.
TV-14
4:00 pm
Bob's Burgers
Moody Foodie
When the restaurant receives a bad review from a food critic, the Belchers fear that the negative press will keep customers away. When Bob shows up at the critic's house for a redo, his plan quickly spirals out of control when the kids and his fellow restaurant owners show up to support him.
TV-14
4:30 pm
Bob's Burgers
Bad Tina
Tina starts hanging out with bad girl Tammy in an effort to get closer to Jimmy Junior.
TV-14
5:00 pm
Bob's Burgers
Beefsquatch
Bob appears in a cooking segment on a local news morning program, but Gene steals the show when he crashes the set with a sasquatch mask.
TV-14
5:30 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Brian's Play
Brian's dreams come true when he writes a play and it's a hit...but his happiness evaporates when Stewie writes a better play in one night.
TV-14
6:00 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Giggity Wife, The
After accidentally marrying a prostitute, Quagmire pretends to be gay to end the relationship.
TV-14
6:30 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Valentine's Day in Quahog
This Valentine's Day episode features a series of comic vignettes centered around the residents of Quahog.
TV-14
7:00 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Chris Cross
After Meg sees Chris stealing money out of Lois' purse, she blackmails him into doing everything she says.
TV-14
7:30 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Call Girl
When Peter loses the family's money, Lois takes a job as a phone sex operator.
TV-14
8:00 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Turban Cowboy
After befriending a Muslim man, Peter becomes interested in Islamic culture - only to become unwittingly involved in a terrorist plot to blow up a Quahog bridge.
TV-14
8:30 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
12 and a Half Angry Men
Mayor West goes on trial for murder after his aide is found stabbed to death.
TV-14
9:00 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Bigfat
After the airplane he's riding in crashes in the Canadian wilderness, Peter transforms into a feral beast.
TV-14
9:30 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Total Recall
Peter discovers that he's anything but irreplaceable when Lois begins hanging out with his friends; Stewie and Brian embark on a mission to reunite Stewie with his teddy bear.
TV-14
10:00 pm
American Dad (DVS)
Nice Night for a Drive, A
Klaus gets transferred into the navigation system of Stan's car after Stan refuses to pay for a life-saving surgery. Steve and his friends prank Roger's Frank character and he terrorizes them for revenge.
TV-14
10:30 pm
Angie Tribeca (DVS)
Brockman Turner Overdrive
From the minds of Steve and Nancy Carell comes TBS's hit comedy series Angie Tribeca, starring Rashida Jones as lone-wolf LAPD Detective Angie Tribeca and Hayes MacArthur as her new partner, J. Geils, with whom she shares a will-they-or-won't-they sexual tension. Under the supervision of the apoplectic Captain Atkins and with the assistance of Detective Danny Tanner; his K9 partner, Hoffman; and brilliant medical examiner Dr. Monica Scholls, Tribeca and Geils investigate the city's most heinous crimes, from the murder of a ventriloquist to a rash of baker suicides.
TV-14
11:00 pm
Conan (CC)
Episode 71025
Guests: Kumail Nanjiani, Rep. Adam Schiff, Real Estate
TV-14
12:00 am
Angie Tribeca (DVS)
Brockman Turner Overdrive
From the minds of Steve and Nancy Carell comes TBS's hit comedy series Angie Tribeca, starring Rashida Jones as lone-wolf LAPD Detective Angie Tribeca and Hayes MacArthur as her new partner, J. Geils, with whom she shares a will-they-or-won't-they sexual tension. Under the supervision of the apoplectic Captain Atkins and with the assistance of Detective Danny Tanner; his K9 partner, Hoffman; and brilliant medical examiner Dr. Monica Scholls, Tribeca and Geils investigate the city's most heinous crimes, from the murder of a ventriloquist to a rash of baker suicides.
TV-14
12:30 am
Conan (CC)
Episode 71025
Guests: Kumail Nanjiani, Rep. Adam Schiff, Real Estate
TV-14
1:30 am
Seinfeld
Slicer, The
Kramer buys a meat slicer; Jerry's date (Marcia Cross) considers his job meaningless.
TV-PG
2:00 am
2 Broke Girls (DVS)
And the Silent Partner
Sophie is depressed after being swindled by the contractor in charge of building her dream house, so Max offers to make her a silent partner in the cupcake business but Caroline and Sophie have very different visions for the company.
TV-14
2:30 am
2 Broke Girls (DVS)
And the High Holidays
Desperate for a way to pay their overdue rent, Max and Caroline get involved with a group of sketchy customers willing to pay top dollar for their cupcakes.
TV-14
3:00 am
Movie
Mr. 3000
Ten years ago, Stan Ross was a ballplayer blessed with one of the sweetest swings--and one of the worst attitudes--in the league. A man with big talent, a bigger mouth and even bigger ego, he was clealy on his way to becoming a legend. The day he batted his 3,000th hit, assuring him an eventual place in the Hall of Fame, Ross instantly quit the fame, leaving his teammates in the lurch. Never looking back, Ross began his ''Mr. 3000'' shopping empire, fueling his self-satisfaction solely with that one magical number. But now, just as Ross is about to be voted at last into the Hall of Fame, an error is discovered--the man who thought he was ''Mr. 3000'' is actually ''Mr. 2997.'' Three hits shy of the landmark number, Ross has only one choice--get up off the couch, pick up the back and rejoin the Milwaukee Brewers for the most unlikely comeback sports has ever seen. Literally going back to first base, Ross has no idea what he''s in for. Out of shape, over the hill and in deep denial, he quickly becomes a joke to the press, the bane of his teammates and a juicy story to Mo Simmons, the tough-minded reporter who once had a memorable fling with Ross back inthe day. But just as Ross thinks it''s all about the numbers, he finally begins to see what really counts. Soon the cocky, self-absorbed, ego machine is trying a different tactic: discovering the fun of teamwork, ethics and even falling in love--as he learns the difference between a successful life and a meaninful one.
TV-14
5:00 am
Married With Children
Cheese, Cues and Blood
Lusting for a thousand dollar dress to wear to the Miss Cheese competition, Kelly decides to earn the money the old-fashioned way by hustling pool.
TV-PG
5:30 am
Married With Children
Looking for a Desk in All the Wrong Places
While Peggy and Marcy comb the city for Marcy's old baby furniture after Jefferson sells it to pocket the cash, the guys conduct a search of their own for the perfect maid although cleanliness is the last thing on their minds.
TV-PG
 

Tuesday, April 25

6:00 am
Married With Children
Buck Has a Belly Ache
When Al and the kids are preoccupied with a seemingly sick Buck, Peg, feeling neglected, returns home to her kin in Wanker County for a little TLC.
TV-PG
6:30 am
Married With Children
If I Could See Me Now
After nearly driving off a bridge, Al lets the kids convince him to get eyeglasses, only to discover he doesn't like what he sees.
TV-PG
7:00 am
Married With Children
God's Shoes
When Al has a spiritual experience and sees God's shoes, he makes it his mission to recreate and promote his heavenly vision.
TV-PG
7:30 am
Married With Children
Kelly Does Hollywood Part 1
Armed with cable TV and a new remote control, Al is determined to stay on the couch until he finds something good to watch on television, while Kelly's public access show becomes the hottest thing on cable.
TV-PG
8:00 am
Married With Children
Kelly Does Hollywood Part 2
The Bundys' dream of fame and fortune remain just that after Kelly's popular local cable talk show is revamped for prime time by Hollywood network executive Jeff Littlehead.
TV-PG
8:30 am
Married With Children
Al Bundy, Shoe Dick
In a style reminiscent of the old Hollywood thriller, Al dreams he's a private eye who finds himself in the middle of a murder when he's hired by a femme fatale to protect her inheritance from her thieving family.
TV-PG
9:00 am
King of Queens, The
Double Downer
Doug spoils Carrie's plans for a romantic weekend when he organizes an outing to Atlantic City and his boss ends up joining them.
TV-PG
9:30 am
King of Queens, The
Ovary Action
Holiday visitors interrupt Doug and Carrie's attempt to conceive.
TV-PG
10:00 am
King of Queens, The
Food Fight
Carrie grows jealous when Spence's girlfriend recruits Doug to test her culinary homework.
TV-PG
10:30 am
King of Queens, The
Dougie Nights
Doug starts club-hopping with newly single Deacon.
TV-PG
11:00 am
Cleveland Show, The
Brownsized
Cleveland accepts Mr. Waterman's offer to quit his job and receive six months severance pay. There's only one catch: figuring out a way to tell Donna. Rallo finds a new beau for Robert after Federline forgets about their anniversary.
TV-14
11:30 am
Cleveland Show, The
Rodent Like This, A
When a rat is discovered in the Brown home, Donna and the kids move out, leaving Cleveland to deal with the problem. But Cleveland discovers he likes living by himself and forms a friendship with the whiskered pest.
TV-14
12:00 pm
American Dad
Star Is Reborn, A
While on vacation in Los Angeles, Stan joins the world of old Hollywood.
TV-14
12:30 pm
American Dad
Manhattan Magical Murder Mystery Tour
Francine is up for an award for her lonely housewife novel, so the family heads to New York for the ceremony. Meanwhile, Stan and Hayley hang out with actor Robert Wuhl, and Steve and Roger recreate their Wheels and the Legman personas.
TV-14
1:00 pm
American Dad
LGBSteve
Hayley is dying to be on a roller derby team, but they will only let her play if her "sister" Steve will play too. Meanwhile, a magical carpenter visits Stan and Francine and Roger runs the roller rink.
TV-14
1:30 pm
American Dad
Shrink, The
Stan is horrified when he sees a couple die in a car crash, and he goes to see a shrink. Meanwhile, Roger and Klaus study for a wine tasting.
TV-14
2:00 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Love Blactually
When Stewie convinces Brian to go slow with his new girlfriend Carolyn, Cleveland moves in and steals her away; to get her back, Brian does his best to get Cleveland back together with his ex-wife.
TV-14
2:30 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
I Dream of Jesus
Peter rediscovers his love for the painfully annoying song, "Surfin' Bird" which drives people around him crazy; and when Peter finds Jesus in a record store, he's determined to be his new best friend.
TV-14
3:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One with Rachel's Dream, The
Rachel's visit to a soap opera set inspires her to dream about Joey; Chandler takes Ross on a weekend getaway after Monica cannot take time off from work.
TV-PG
3:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One with the Soap Opera Party, The
Ross invites an attractive paleontologist to a rooftop Days of Our Lives party being thrown by Joey.
TV-PG
4:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One with the Fertility Test, The
Monica and Chandler run into an old acquaintance when they secretly go to a fertility clinic; Ross helps Joey woo the same professor he wants to date.
TV-14
4:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One with the Donor, The
Monica and Chandler interview unsuspecting candidates, hoping to find the right man to father their baby.
TV-PG
5:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One in Barbados Part 1, The
The gang heads to Barbados for a paleontology convention where Ross is the keynote speaker; David prepares to propose to Phoebe, but ex-boyfriend Mike is not yet out of the picture.
TV-PG
5:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One in Barbados Part 2, The
The gang heads to Barbados for a paleontology convention where Ross is the keynote speaker; David prepares to propose to Phoebe, but ex-boyfriend Mike is not yet out of the picture.
TV-PG
6:00 pm
Seinfeld
Betrayal, The
Elaine drags Jerry and George to a wedding in India; Kramer's life is threatened.
TV-PG
6:30 pm
Seinfeld
Apology, The
Jerry's girlfriend teaches him some naked truths; George anticipates an apology.
TV-PG
7:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Holographic Excitation, The
The gang celebrates Halloween at Stuart's comic book store. Meanwhile Leonard and Penny discover a new spark in their relationship when he seduces her with science.
TV-PG
7:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Extract Obliteration, The
Sheldon's friendship with renowned scientist STEPHEN HAWKING is threatened by a game of "Words with Friends," while Penny secretly enrolls in a class at the local college.
TV-14
8:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Habitation Configuration, The
Bernadette pressures Howard to move out of his mother's house, while Sheldon finds himself caught in the middle of a fight between Amy and Wil Wheaton.
TV-PG
8:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
43 Peculiarity, The
Howard and Raj try to solve a mystery about Sheldon.
TV-PG
9:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Parking Spot Escalation, The
Sheldon & Howard battle over an assigned parking spot.
TV-14
9:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Fish Guts Displacement, The
Howard bonds with his father-n-law on a fishing trip.
TV-PG
10:00 pm
The Detour
Mule, The
Robin and Nate live out their (mostly Nate's) action movie fantasies as they make their way to the kids, who are actually doing just fine without them.
TV-MA
10:29 pm
The Detour
Ass, The
The family is reunited, but this time it's Robin who makes a huge mistake.
TV-MA
11:01 pm
Conan (CC)
Episode 71026
Guests: Hank Azaria, Moshe Kasher, Vir Das
TV-14
12:01 am
The Detour
Mule, The
Robin and Nate live out their (mostly Nate's) action movie fantasies as they make their way to the kids, who are actually doing just fine without them.
TV-MA
12:30 am
Conan (CC)
Episode 71026
Guests: Hank Azaria, Moshe Kasher, Vir Das
TV-14
1:30 am
Seinfeld
Reverse Peephole, The
Puddy wears a fur coat; Jerry doesn't use a wallet; Newman may face eviction.
TV-PG
2:00 am
2 Broke Girls (DVS)
And the Bear Truth
A relaxing getaway for two becomes an awkward vacation for three when Max, Caroline, and Andy spend a weekend together in a cabin in the woods.
TV-14
2:30 am
2 Broke Girls (DVS)
And Too Little Sleep
Max and Caroline enlist the gang from the diner to help them bake throughout the night in order to fulfill a giant cupcake order.
TV-14
3:00 am
Movie
Time Machine, The
Scientist and inventor Alexander Hartdegen is determined to prove that time travel is possible. His determination is turned to desperation by a personal tragedy that now drives him to want to change the past. Testing his theories with a time machine of his own invention, Hartdegen is hurtled 800,000 years into the future. There he finds a post-apocalyptic world where he discovers that mankind has been divided into the hunter and the hunted.
TV-PG
5:00 am
Married With Children
So This Is How Sinatra Felt
When Peg thinks Al's having an affair, she sends Kelly and Bud out to do some sleuthing, but no one is more shocked than Al to discover that a beautiful shoe groupie wants to try him on for size.
TV-PG
5:30 am
Married With Children
I Who Have Nothing
When Al decides to draw up a will and divide up his worldly belongings, he tracks down his old high school girlfriend, to whom he gave his most prized possession, his football.
TV-PG
 

Wednesday, April 26

6:00 am
Married With Children
Mystery of Skull Island, The
While Peggy, Al, Marcy and Jefferson play a New Age board game, Bud finds himself unable to say no to sexy Kara even if it kills him.
TV-PG
6:30 am
Married With Children
Just Shoe It
Al relives his glory days as a high school football star (All City '66) when he lands a role in a Super Bowl commercial with ex-jocks Sugar Ray Leonard, Steve Carlton and Ed "Too Tall" Jones.
TV-PG
7:00 am
Married With Children
Rites of Passage
Though Peggy has hired Sticky the Clown to entertain at Bud's 18th birthday party, Al follows Bundy tradition and takes his son to the nudie bar for his first brawl.
TV-PG
7:30 am
Married With Children
Egg and I, The
Steve Rhoades, on the run after hijacking an endangered egg, returns to reclaim his ex-wife, but Marcy doesn't want him back and all the Bundys want is to turn him in to the FBI for the reward money.
TV-PG
8:00 am
Married With Children
My Dinner with Anthrax
It's Al and Peggy's 20th anniversary and Bud and Kelly pack them off to a time-share scam in Florida so heavy metal band Anthrax can party at the Bundy house.
TV-PG
8:30 am
Married With Children
Psychic Avengers
When Al takes over Jefferson's psychic scam, rival mystic Madame Inga puts a curse on the entire Bundy family.
TV-PG
9:00 am
King of Queens, The
No Orleans
Doug and Carrie sneak off to New Orleans without Doug's cousins.
TV-PG
9:30 am
King of Queens, The
Missing Links
Doug and Carrie search for a compatible couple to take with them to the firm's annual golf outing.
TV-PG
10:00 am
King of Queens, The
Hero Worship
Doug's uncle offers to back financially his desire to open a sandwich shop.
TV-PG
10:30 am
King of Queens, The
Screwed Driver
Doug's parents take over the house when Carrie goes on a business trip.
TV-PG
11:00 am
Cleveland Show, The
Hangover Part Tubbs, The
Donna campaigns to be elected to the school board; Cleveland accidentally "kills" an opponent while playing "the Hurt Locker game;" Junior realizes he's an excellent driver.
TV-14
11:30 am
Cleveland Show, The
California Dreamin' (All the Cleves Are Brown)
The Browns relocate to Los Angeles so Cleveland can pursue his fantasy of becoming a major league baseball scout; Donna and the kids are seduced by the glamorous Hollywood lifestyle.
TV-14
12:00 pm
American Dad
Holy S***, Jeff's Back!
Jeff returns from space. Or does he Meanwhile, Steve watches after Snot's hamster.
TV-14
12:30 pm
American Dad
American Fung
American Dad is sold to a Chinese businessman. Meanwhile, Stan has Francine committed to an insane asylum when he forgets their anniversary.
TV-14
1:00 pm
American Dad
Seizures Suit Stanny
When Stan lies about his texting and driving accident, he takes a seizure medication and suffers from the side effects. Meanwhile, Roger helps Steve with his performance anxiety.
TV-14
1:30 pm
American Dad
Roots
Stan sets out to stop a tree that he considers his father from being cut down. Steve realizes he's stopped growing and considers surgery.
TV-14
2:00 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Road to Germany
Mort Goldman accidentally steps into a time machine and winds up in 1939 Poland in the middle of the Nazi invasion. Brian and Stewie follow him to Nazi Germany in an attempt to save him and bring him back to the present safely.
TV-14
2:30 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Baby Not On Board
When Peter wins free gas for a year, Brian suggests a road trip to the Grand Canyon. After careful planning and packing, they depart, only to leave Stewie behind. Hilarity ensues as they race back to Quahog.
TV-14
3:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One After Joey and Rachel Kiss, The
In Barbados, Monica, Chandler and Phoebe eavesdrop on their friends' passionate encounters; Monica styles her hair to look like a blowfish; Phoebe and Mike rekindle their romance.
TV-PG
3:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One Where Ross Is Fine, The
Ross drinks too much alcohol at dinner with Rachel, Joey and Charlie; Frank Jr. cannot cope with his precocious triplets.
TV-PG
4:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One with Ross's Tan, The
Rachel and Joey nervously anticipate their first real date; Monica and Phoebe try to avoid an obnoxious friend with a fake British accent; Ross emerges from a tanning booth with a two-toned appearance.
TV-PG
4:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One with the Cake, The
An X-rated cake is delivered to Emma's first birthday party.
TV-PG
5:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One Where Rachel's Sister Babysits, The
Rachel convinces her sister to baby-sit over Ross' protests; Joey writes a letter to an adoption agency on Monica and Chandler's behalf.
TV-PG
5:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One with Ross's Grant, The
When Ross interviews with Charlie's ex-boyfriend for a prized grant, the doctor makes a shocking stipulation; Chandler lies about watching Joey's bizarre audition tape.
TV-PG
6:00 pm
Seinfeld
Cartoon, The
Susan's old friend Sally succeeds with a one-woman show about Jerry.
TV-PG
6:30 pm
Seinfeld
Strongbox, The
Kramer hides his strongbox key at Jerry's place; a neighbor feuds with Jerry.
TV-PG
7:00 pm
Seinfeld
Wizard, The
Jerry buys his father an electronic organizer; Kramer retires to Florida.
TV-PG
7:30 pm
Seinfeld
Burning, The
George seeks timely exits; Jerry's gal has a secret; Elaine learns Puddy is religious.
TV-PG
8:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Santa Simulation, The
Sheldon unwillingly revisits some Christmas memories during a lively game of Dungeons and Dragons, while Raj joins the girls for ladies night out.
TV-14
8:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Egg Salad Equivalency, The
Sheldon is accused of sexual harassment at the University and winds up dragging Leonard, Raj and Howard into the fray.
TV-14
9:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Bakersfield Expedition, The
Leonard's car is stolen when the guys take a road trip to a comic book convention in Bakersfield, dressed as Star Trek characters.
TV-PG
9:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Cooper, The/Kripke Inversion
Outraged that he's being forced to work with his university nemesis, Barry Kripke (guest star JOHN ROSS BOWIE), Sheldon faces a crisis of conscience.
TV-14
10:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Spoiler Alert Segmentation, The
When Sheldon and Leonard fight, it affects Penny and Amy's living arrangements. Meanwhile, Raj takes care of Mrs. Wolowitz while Howard is away.
TV-14
10:30 pm
Full Frontal with Samantha Bee
April 5, 2017
Full Frontal inducts a new "she-leader" into the Great Feminists in Feminism Herstory Hall of Lady Fame.
TV-MA
11:00 pm
Conan (CC)
Episode 71027
Guests: Dennis Quaid, Morena Baccarin, Nikki Lane
TV-14
12:00 am
The Detour
Ass, The
The family is reunited, but this time it's Robin who makes a huge mistake.
TV-MA
12:31 am
Conan (CC)
Episode 71027
Guests: Dennis Quaid, Morena Baccarin, Nikki Lane
TV-14
1:31 am
The Detour
Wedding, The
Instead of getting back on the road, Robin agrees to marry the southern gentleman Dr. Rob and his Russian bride but soon realizes that something is very, very, very, very wrong.
TV-MA
2:00 am
The Detour
Road, The
Blue Thunder is stuck in traffic. Nate and Robin take a stroll down memory lane about how they met and the kids learn an important lesson in too much information. Seriously. Too much. Stop telling us all this.
TV-MA
2:30 am
The Detour
Drop, The
Nate needs to take a detour to Salvation, Florida where it's Christmas every day of the year except on Christmas. Things get tense when the family discovers Nate has been lying to them in addition to the fact that they are being followed by government goons.
TV-MA
3:00 am
The Detour
Track, The
The Parkers finally make it to Ft. Lauderdale only to have Nate's plan of getting his job back completely unravel. Fortunately, at a nearby race track, there is hope.
TV-MA
3:30 am
The Detour
Beach, The
Nate, Robin and the kids attempt to take down Nate's company in epic whistle blowing fashion. It won't be easy, but if there's one thing we've learned about this family is that they don't give up without at least a punch to the throat and maybe a cheap kick to the groin.
TV-MA
4:00 am
Married With Children
High I.Q.
Bud is up in arms when Kelly is invited to join a group of geniuses while Al and Jefferson try their hand at putting together a workbench and lose a few fingers in the process.
TV-PG
4:30 am
Married With Children
Teacher Pets
When Bud's English teacher has the hots for him, he seeks advice from Al, who takes time out of his busy schedule attending birthday parties at Chuck E. Cheese to correct the situation with the usual Bundy flair.
TV-PG
5:00 am
Married With Children
Goodbye Girl, The
While Al takes a world tour via the living room couch and remote control, Kelly gets a job at the TV World theme park.
TV-PG
5:30 am
Married With Children
Gas Station Show, The
Al takes the family out for a Bundy Sunday Fun Day, but when he can't pay for gas, he is forced to work off his debt as an attendant on the full-serve island.
TV-PG
 

Thursday, April 27

6:00 am
Married With Children
England Show Part 1
The Bundys win a free trip to England but little do they know they are being set up for execution for only the death of every male Bundy can lift the curse of darkness from the English town of Lower Uncton.
TV-PG
6:30 am
Married With Children
England Show Part 2
Al, Peggy and Bud arrive in Lower Uncton, where the townspeople prepare to kill them but lost, globetrotting Kelly, is able to warn them of danger.
TV-PG
7:00 am
Married With Children
England Show Part 3
When the townspeople of Upper and Lower Uncton fight over who gets to kill Al and Bud, Al jousts to save his neck, but a little trouble in Customs concerning a certain hotel towel gets him thrown in the dungeon.
TV-PG
7:30 am
Married With Children
Magnificent Seven
When Peg's 5-year-old nephew Seven is abandoned at the Bundy doorstep by his loser parents, Peg and Al decide to keep him, much to their kids' dismay.
TV-PG
8:00 am
Married With Children
T-R-A-Something-Something Spells Tramp
When Kelly's date gives her an ultimatum, she finds herself stranded but not alone on a deserted road 15 miles outside Chicago. Peg tries to put some spice back into her marriage by spending Saturday night communicating with Al.
TV-PG
8:30 am
Married With Children
Every Bundy Has a Birthday
When Seven can't remember his birthday, Peggy assigns him one, selecting the next day, which also happens to be Al's birthday. The family decides to go to the town park to celebrate, only to find it's been rented by a rich, snobby family.
TV-PG
9:00 am
King of Queens, The
Lush Life
Doug tries to get Carrie inebriated so he can cheat on his diet.
TV-PG
9:30 am
King of Queens, The
Patrons Ain't
When their accountant makes them feel guilty about their lack of charitable donations, Doug and Carrie decide to make a large donation to a school library.
TV-PG
10:00 am
King of Queens, The
Bun Dummy
Doug tries to find a tactful way of telling Carrie he does not like her new hairstyle.
TV-PG
10:30 am
King of Queens, The
Shrink Wrap
Carrie and Doug send Arthur to a psychiatrist, to whom he reveals his relationship with his father.
TV-PG
11:00 am
Cleveland Show, The
Fist and the Furious
Cleveland attempts to improve Dr. Fist's social life, only to discover he used to work for the mob; Rallo and Junior discover a business opportunity in the form of a food truck.
TV-14
11:30 am
Cleveland Show, The
Who Done Did It?
Cleveland seeks revenge against people who've wronged him and his family...until he's accused of a murder he didn't commit.
TV-14
12:00 pm
American Dad (DVS)
Life Aquatic with Steve Smith, The
Steve joins the high school water polo team in order to get girls. Meanwhile, Roger and Stan get a boat.
TV-14
12:30 pm
American Dad (DVS)
Hayley Smith, Seal Team Six
Hayley mentally regresses to a six-year-old. Steve and his pals get a slow cooker.
TV-14
1:00 pm
American Dad
N.S.A. (No Snoops Allowed)
Steve goes to work with Stan and discovers the N.S.A. Hayley decides to let go of being a vegetarian and eat meat for one day.
TV-14
1:30 pm
American Dad (DVS)
Stan Smith as Keanu Reeves as Stanny Utah in Point Breakers
Stan goes undercover as a surfer a la Point Break. Steve befriends a drifter, Hayley might be pregnant and Roger wants the World Cup to be held in their backyard.
TV-14
2:00 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Man With Two Brians, The
When Brian hurts his back saving Peter, Peter thinks Brian's getting too old, and brings another dog--named New Brian--into the family; and when everyone falls in love with the new pet, Brian leaves home.
TV-14
2:30 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Tales of a Third Grade Nothing
Peter is forced to go back to the third grade to try and qualify for a promotion at work. Meanwhile, Brian opens a bar with Frank Sinatra Jr, where they employ Stewie to make it a hotspot.
TV-14
3:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One with the Home Study, The
Monica and Chandler fuss over their apartment as they expect a visit from the adoption worker; Phoebe and Mike opt for a small wedding and donate the extra money to a children's charity.
TV-PG
3:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One with the Birth Mother, The
A prospective birth mother labors under a misconception about Monica and Chandler's respective occupations.
TV-PG
4:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One Where Chandler Gets Caught, The
Rachel and Phoebe spot Chandler getting into a vehicle with a mysterious blond woman.
TV-PG
4:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One Where the Stripper Cries, The
Joey appears as a celebrity contestant on $100,000 Pyramid. Monica and Rachel hire an ungainly stripper for Phoebe's bachelorette party.
TV-14
5:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One with Phoebe's Wedding, The
A blizzard causes Phoebe and Mike's wedding to spiral out of control; uptight Monica steps in as her friend's wedding planner, then drives everyone crazy.
TV-PG
5:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One Where Joey Speaks French, The
Monica and Chandler show Erica the sights but also learn their baby's biological father might be an unsavory character. Joey begs Phoebe to teach him how to speak French before an audition.
TV-PG
6:00 pm
Seinfeld
Bookstore, The
George hopes to meet women at a bookstore where Jerry spots Uncle Leo shoplifting.
TV-PG
6:30 pm
Seinfeld
Frogger, The
Elaine eats Peterman's cake; Kramer helps George steal an arcade game.
TV-PG
7:00 pm
Seinfeld
Maid, The
Jerry begins a relationship with his maid (Angela Featherstone); George wants a nickname.
TV-PG
7:30 pm
Seinfeld
Finale Part 1, The
After NBC picks up Jerry and George's sitcom, the four pals are arrested for breaking the good Samaritan law.
TV-PG
8:00 pm
Seinfeld
Finale Part 2, The
After NBC picks up Jerry and George's sitcom, the four pals are arrested for breaking the good Samaritan law.
TV-PG
8:30 pm
Seinfeld
Ex-Girlfriend, The
George puzzles over how to dump a domineering girlfriend.
TV-PG
9:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Tangible Affection Proof, The
Sheldon struggles to find a Valentine's gift for Amy.
TV-14
9:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Monster Isolation, The
Raj vows never to leave his apartment after a horrible date.
TV-PG
10:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Contractual Obligation Implementation, The
Leonard, Sheldon and Howard try to advance the cause of women in science by speaking with junior high girls about their future careers, while Raj plans his date with Lucy.
TV-PG
10:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Closet Reconfiguration, The
To open or not to open When Howard finds a letter from his father, he's forced to confront his past. And Leonard and Penny throw a grown-up cocktail party at the apartment.
TV-PG
11:00 pm
Conan (CC)
Episode 71028
Guests: Patton Oswalt, Freddie Highmore, Pixies
TV-14
12:00 am
Seinfeld
Clip Show Part 1, The
Clips highlight the show's past nine seasons.
TV-PG
12:30 am
Conan (CC)
Episode 71028
Guests: Patton Oswalt, Freddie Highmore, Pixies
TV-14
1:30 am
Seinfeld
Clip Show Part 2, The
Clips highlight the show's past nine seasons.
TV-PG
2:00 am
2 Broke Girls (DVS)
And the Psychic Shakedown
After discovering that Candy Andy closed up his shop following their breakup, Caroline visits a psychic for a reading about her future love life.
TV-14
2:30 am
2 Broke Girls (DVS)
And Just Plane Magic
When Max scores tickets to a music awards show in Los Angeles, she and Caroline end up flying on a private jet with Grammy-nominated rapper 2 Chainz.
TV-14
3:00 am
Movie
This is Where I Leave You
When their father passes away, four grown siblings, bruised and banged up by their respective adult lives, are forced to return to their childhood home and live under the same roof together for a week, along with their over-sharing mother and an assortment of spouses, exes and might-have-beens. Confronting their history and the frayed states of their relationships among the people who know and love them best, they ultimately reconnect in hysterical and emotionally affecting ways amid the chaos, humor, heartache and redemption that only families can provide- driving us insane even as they remind us of our truest, and often best, selves.
TV-14
5:00 am
Married With Children
Al on the Rocks
When Peggy panics over Seven's sneezes, she begins piling up medical bills, forcing Al to take on a second job as a topless bartender.
TV-PG
5:30 am
Married With Children
What I Did for Love
In an effort to renew her husband's romantic interest in her, Peg drags Al along to shop for some exciting lingerie, only to find Bud hitting on one of the store mannequins. After trying every trick in the book, Peg finally discovers food is the only way to arouse Al, but when she slaves away in the kitchen in exchange for a few romantic results, she refuses to do any more cooking.
TV-14
 

Friday, April 28

6:00 am
Married With Children
Frat Chance
Desperate for a date, Bud founds his own community college fraternity in his garage.
TV-PG
6:30 am
Married With Children
Chicago Wine Party, The
With the elections coming up, Al convinces his family to register and vote for the first time in an effort to stop a proposed tax on beer. When the tax increase passes, Al leads an angry protest to overturn the bill.
TV-PG
7:00 am
Married With Children
Kelly Doesn't Live Here Anymore
When Al can't afford to pay the bills, he convinces Kelly to get a job. Finding employment as a waitress at a burger joint, Kelly realizes why mother Peg has never worked a day in her life.
TV-PG
7:30 am
Married With Children
Rock of Ages
When Al wins a trip to Hawaii, he poses as an aging rock star to get into the first class lounge. Inside the airport lounge, he meets rock heroes. Mistaking him for a fellow rocker, the musicians convince Al to perform with them at a benefit.
TV-PG
8:00 am
Married With Children
Death of a Shoe Salesman
While shopping for a burial plot for the family, Al and Peg discover they don't have enough money, so they have to be buried in the same casket.
TV-PG
8:30 am
Married With Children
Old College Try
Bud's big plans to move into his college dorm are destroyed when Al and Peg manage to get their hands on his scholarship money and go on a shopping spree. Broke and dormless, Bud is forced back into the Bundy household.
TV-14
9:00 am
King of Queens, The
Eddie Money
Doug tries to keep secret from Carrie $5,000 he won in a gambling pool.
TV-PG
9:30 am
King of Queens, The
Two Thirty
When Doug goes to Dr. Farber for a root canal, he finds out Carrie used have a major crush on the dentist.
TV-PG
10:00 am
King of Queens, The
Queasy Rider
Doug buys a motorcycle against Carrie's wishes; Carrie takes up smoking.
TV-PG
10:30 am
King of Queens, The
Female Problems
Carrie befriends a new neighbor; Doug feels left out.
TV-PG
11:00 am
Cleveland Show, The
Squirt's Honor
When Rallo joins Stoolbend's version of the Boy Scouts, he discovers he can make money selling candy bars for a fictitious charity; Cleveland and Donna win a vacation.
TV-14
11:30 am
Cleveland Show, The
Grave Danger
Cleveland and his friends discover the joys of hanging out at a local cemetery; Rallo befriends neighborhood tough guys after making a trip to Robert's apartment in East Stoolbend.
TV-14
12:00 pm
American Dad
Unincludeds, The
Steve and Snot alter their futures when they throw a party for the uncool kids. Meanwhile, Roger is disgruntled when a waitress doesn't compliment his order and Stan and Francine go on vacation in Bosnia.
TV-14
12:30 pm
American Dad
Kiss Kiss, Cam Cam
Stan gets Francine baseball tickets for her birthday but is upset when they have a horrible kiss on the kiss cam. Steve and Roger head to Nevada to help clean polluted water.
TV-14
1:00 pm
American Dad
Devil Wears a Lapel Pin, The
When Stan is given the task of putting together the CIA calendar, Hayley attempts to destroy it. Meanwhile, Roger gets a Discover card and fakes his death to get out of paying the enormous balance.
TV-14
1:30 pm
American Dad
Stan-Dan Deliver
Roger becomes a teacher at Steve's school and gets involved with a class of underprivileged kids. Meanwhile, Stan and Francine visit a retirement home and Stan decides to stay.
TV-14
2:00 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Ocean's Three and a Half
After seven years of pregnancy, Bonnie gives birth to baby Susie, and Stewie immediately falls in love; but when Joe can't pay the massive hospital bill, Peter and the boys plan to rob Mr. Pewterschmidt.
TV-14
2:30 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Family Gay
To pay off a massive debt, Peter participates in a medical experiment, allowing himself to be injected with the "gay" gene; and this change in lifestyle leads him to find a new mate, leaving a broken-hearted Lois behind.
TV-14
3:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One with Princess Consuela, The
Rachel goes to a job interview at a restaurant and winds up sitting next to her current boss. Joey feels abandoned because Monica and Chandler are leaving.
TV-PG
3:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One Where Estelle Dies, The
Ross tries to win back Rachel's job with her former fashion employer. Phoebe tries to keep Joey from learning about his agent's death; Monica and Chandler make a horrifying discovery.
TV-PG
4:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One with Rachel's Going Away Party
One of the guys becomes offended when Rachel does not give him the same goodbye she gives the others.
TV-PG
4:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
Last One Part 1, The
The six friends say goodbye and embark on the next chapters of their lives.
TV-PG
5:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
Last One Part 2, The
The six friends say goodbye and embark on the next chapters of their lives.
TV-PG
5:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
Pilot
Six friends in their twenties pursue careers, love and happiness in New York City while relying on each other for support.
TV-PG
6:00 pm
Seinfeld
Pony Remark, The
Jerry thinks his off-the-cuff remark killed a woman.
TV-PG
6:30 pm
Seinfeld
Busboy, The
A busboy loses his job and his cat because of George.
TV-PG
7:00 pm
Seinfeld
Baby Shower, The
Kramer persuades Jerry to get illegal cable service; guest Christine Dunford.
TV-PG
7:30 pm
Seinfeld
Jacket, The
Jerry loves an expensive suede jacket until he buys it.
TV-PG
8:00 pm
Movie (DVS)
Journey 2: The Mysterious Island
Young adventurer Sean receives a coded distress signal from a mysterious island where no island should exist--a place of strange life forms, mountains of gold, deadly volcanoes, and more than one astonishing secret. Unable to stop him from going, Sean's new stepfather joins the quest. Together with a helicopter pilot and his beautiful, strong-willed daughter, they set out to find the island, rescue its lone inhabitant and escape before seismic shock waves force the island under the sea and bury its treasures forever.
TV-PG
10:00 pm
ELEAGUE
ELeague Extra
11:00 pm
Movie (DVS)
Interview, The
Dave Skylark and producer Aaron Rapoport run the celebrity tabloid show "Skylark Tonight." When they land an interview with a surprise fan, North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un, they are recruited by the CIA to turn their trip to Pyongyang into an assassination mission.
TV-14
1:30 am
Movie (DVS)
Liar, Liar
A pathologically lying lawyer desperately tries to grant his son's wish that he tell the truth for a 24-hour period.
TV-PG
3:30 am
New Girl
Sam, Again
Jess' application for a job at a new progressive school may be jeopardized after she learns the principal is dating her ex-boyfriend. Meanwhile, Nick takes ill so Schmidt quarantines the roommates to keep himself from getting sick before an important presentation.
TV-14
4:00 am
New Girl
300 Feet
Jess sets out to clear her name after she receives a restraining order from a former boyfriend; Nick and Schmidt plot against the owner of a new bar.
TV-14
4:30 am
New Girl
Jeff Day
Jess' plan to use a male alter ego to buy a new car from a sexist salesman backfires; Schmidt & Cece worry when Winston decides to bring his prankster girlfriend to their wedding.
TV-14
5:00 am
Everybody Loves Raymond (SAP)
Dog, The
Both Ray and Robert want to keep a stray bulldog.
TV-PG
5:30 am
Everybody Loves Raymond (SAP)
Neighbors
The neighbors complain to Ray about Frank and Marie.
TV-PG
 

Saturday, April 29

6:00 am
Everybody Loves Raymond (SAP)
Fascinatin' Debra
When a radio psychologist visits, Debra feels dull compared to the other Barones.
TV-PG
6:30 am
Everybody Loves Raymond (SAP)
Why Are We Here?
Debra and Ray reminisce about life in their old apartment.
TV-PG
7:00 am
Everybody Loves Raymond (SAP)
Ray's on TV
Well-meaning advice makes Ray nervous on camera.
TV-PG
7:30 am
Married With Children
Christmas
Al does his yearly pre-Christmas inspection of the family and can find they've done nothing wrong, which means he has to buy them presents but he has to take a job as a Department Store Santa to pay for the gifts.
TV-PG
8:00 am
Married With Children
Wedding Show, The
As the Bundys prepare to attend their cousin Jimmy's wedding, everything begins to go wrong. Al can't find his suit, Peg can't get her makeup right, Kelly and the bridesmaids think they have on the wrong dresses and Bud gets caught with the bride.
TV-PG
8:30 am
Movie (DVS)
Jack the Giant Slayer
When a princess is kidnapped, threatening the long-standing peace between humans and giants, a young farmer leads a rescue mission to the giants' kingdom.
TV-14
11:00 am
Movie
Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides
Captain Jack Sparrow crosses paths with a woman from his past and is not sure if it's love or if she's a ruthless con artist using him to find the fabled Fountain of Youth. When she forces him aboard the Queen Anne's Revenge, the ship of the formidable pirate Blackbeard, Jack finds himself on an unexpected adventure in which he doesn't know who to fear more: Blackbeard or the woman from his past.
TV-14
2:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One with the Sonogram, The
Ross is stunned to learn his ex-wife is pregnant with their child. Monica's dinner for her overly critical parents is a disaster.
TV-PG
2:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One with the Thumb, The
The group loves Monica's new boyfriend; Chandler resumes smoking; and Phoebe receives a large sum of money unexpectedly.
TV-PG
3:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One with George Stephanopoulos, The
While the men attend a hockey game and end up at a hospital, the women spy on President Clinton's top aide, George Stephanopoulos, who lives across the street. Rachel receives her first paycheck.
TV-PG
3:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One with the East German Laundry Detergent, The
While Phoebe and Chandler end their respective romantic relationships, Rachel and Ross do laundry together on their first date.
TV-PG
4:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One with the Butt, The
Joey gets a film role as a stand-in for Al Pacino's butt. Ross tries to be less conservative. Chandler has an affair with a married woman.
TV-14
4:30 pm
2 Broke Girls (DVS)
And the Broken Hip
Max and Caroline pay a high price for attempting to remove a street performer away from the entry to their cupcake shop.
TV-14
5:00 pm
2 Broke Girls (DVS)
And Not-So-Sweet Charity
In danger of losing their cupcake shop, Max and Caroline approach Caroline's rich but callous Aunt Charity for help.
TV-14
5:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Tenure Turbulence, The
Leonard, Sheldon and Raj fight for tenure at the University.
TV-14
6:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Closure Alternative, The
After one of his favorite TV shows gets canceled too soon, Sheldon feels lost, so Amy tries to help him get over his compulsive need for closure by retraining his brain.
TV-PG
6:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Proton Resurgence, The
Leonard and Sheldon hire Professor Proton (guest star BOB NEWHART), the host of their favorite childhood TV show to perform. Raj leaves his dog with Howard and Bernadette.
TV-PG
7:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Love Spell Potential, The
When the girls' trip to Vegas falls through, the guys invite them to a Dungeons & Dragons date night that causes Sheldon and Amy's relationship to take an unexpected turn.
TV-PG
7:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Bon Voyage Reaction, The
On the sixth season finale, Sheldon and Penny are thrown for a loop when Leonard is offered an exciting new job opportunity overseas.
TV-PG
8:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Hofstadter Insufficiency, The
Leonard is away at sea, so Sheldon & Penny spend some time together and spill some revealing secrets. Meanwhile, Howard comes to Raj's aid after his breakup with his girlfriend.
TV-PG
8:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Deception Verification, The
Leonard returns from the North Sea expedition and finds things chilly between him and Sheldon, while Howard's relationship with his mother opens the door to questions about his masculinity.
TV-14
9:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Scavenger Vortex, The
Raj puts together a scavenger hunt that turns into serious, cutthroat competition among the gang.
TV-PG
9:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Raiders Minimization, The
Sheldon is fit to be tied when Amy ruins one of his favorite adventure films, while Leonard finds the key to getting Penny to do his bidding, and Raj & Stuart get creative with their online-dating profiles.
TV-PG
10:00 pm
Full Frontal with Samantha Bee
NOT the White House Correspondents' Dinner
TV-MA
11:15 pm
Full Frontal with Samantha Bee
NOT the White House Correspondents' Dinner
TV-MA
12:30 am
Full Frontal with Samantha Bee
February 8, 2017
Full Frontal takes a trip across the pond before Trump decides to drain that too.
TV-MA
1:00 am
The Detour
Mule, The
Robin and Nate live out their (mostly Nate's) action movie fantasies as they make their way to the kids, who are actually doing just fine without them.
TV-MA
1:29 am
The Detour
Ass, The
The family is reunited, but this time it's Robin who makes a huge mistake.
TV-MA
2:01 am
Angie Tribeca (DVS)
Brockman Turner Overdrive
From the minds of Steve and Nancy Carell comes TBS's hit comedy series Angie Tribeca, starring Rashida Jones as lone-wolf LAPD Detective Angie Tribeca and Hayes MacArthur as her new partner, J. Geils, with whom she shares a will-they-or-won't-they sexual tension. Under the supervision of the apoplectic Captain Atkins and with the assistance of Detective Danny Tanner; his K9 partner, Hoffman; and brilliant medical examiner Dr. Monica Scholls, Tribeca and Geils investigate the city's most heinous crimes, from the murder of a ventriloquist to a rash of baker suicides.
TV-14
2:31 am
Movie
McFarland, USA
A struggling coach and teacher who has had to move around for different incidents in his career finally comes to one of the poorest cities in America: McFarland, California. There he discovers buried potential in several high school boys and slowly turns them into championship runners and brings them closer than even he could ever imagine.
TV-PG
5:15 am
TBS Network Preview
Episode 1
A backstage peek at TBS's original programs.
5:30 am
Everybody Loves Raymond (SAP)
Father Knows Least
When a radio psychologist visits, Debra feels dull compared to the other Barones.
TV-PG
 

Sunday, April 30

6:00 am
Everybody Loves Raymond (SAP)
Brother
Ray's brotherly gesture works a little too well.
TV-PG
6:30 am
Everybody Loves Raymond (SAP)
Golf
Debra vows to get even after Ray gets laughs at her expense.
TV-PG
7:00 am
Friends (SAP)
One with Mrs. Bing, The
Chandler's flamboyant mother comes to New York for a visit. Phoebe and Monica cause a traffic accident.
TV-PG
7:30 am
Friends (SAP)
One with the Dozen Lasagnas, The
Rachel's Italian boyfriend tries to seduce Phoebe. Rachel accidentally reveals a secret to Ross. Monica's aunt refuses to take the lasagnas she ordered from Monica.
TV-PG
8:00 am
Friends (SAP)
One with the Boobies, The
Chandler sees Rachel nude. Joey learns his father is having an affair.
TV-PG
8:30 am
Friends (SAP)
One with the Stoned Guy, The
A restaurant owner interviews Monica for a chef's position. Ross asks Joey how to talk dirty to women.
TV-14
9:00 am
Friends (SAP)
One with Two Parts Part 1, The
Phoebe's twin sister causes confusion and conflict. Ross attends childbirth classes with his ex-wife and her girlfriend.
TV-PG
9:30 am
Friends (SAP)
One with Two Parts Part 2, The
Rachel and Monica squabble over two handsome doctors. Ross ponders his impending fatherhood with his own father.
TV-PG
10:00 am
Friends (SAP)
One with All the Poker, The
The women lose money in a poker game with the men. After getting advice from a champion card player, they demand a rematch.
TV-PG
10:30 am
Friends (SAP)
One Where the Monkey Gets Away, The
Rachel accidentally lets Ross' pet monkey escape, and the friends form a search party. Rachel learns that her former best friend is engaged to marry Rachel's former fiance.
TV-PG
11:00 am
Movie
Divergent
In a future world, people are segregated into different factions based on their personalities. Tris Prior is categorized as Divergent and warned she will never fit into one of these groups. When Tris learns of a conspiracy to destroy all Divergents, she has to find out why being in that classification is so dangerous before it's too late.
TV-14
2:00 pm
Movie (DVS)
Hunger Games, The
Every year in the ruins of what was once North America, the nation of Panem forces each of its twelve districts to send a teenage boy and girl to compete in the Hunger Games. Part twisted entertainment, part government intimidation tactic, the Hunger Games are a nationally televised event in which "Tributes" must fight with one another until one survivor remains. Pitted against highly-trained Tributes who have prepared for these Games their entire lives, Katniss is forced to rely upon her sharp instincts as well as the mentorship of drunken former victor Haymitch Abernathy. If she's ever to return home to District 12, Katniss must make impossible choices in the arena that weigh survival against humanity and life against love.
TV-14
5:00 pm
Movie (DVS)
Hunger Games: Catching Fire, The
After arriving safely home from their unprecedented victory in the 74th Annual Hunger Games, Katniss and Peeta discover they must do a quick turnaround and begin a Victors Tour.
TV-14
8:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Workplace Proximity, The
Amy takes a job at Sheldon's university, putting their relationship to the test.
TV-PG
8:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Romance Resonance, The
Sheldon makes a major scientific breakthrough, but he feels it may haunt him for the rest of career. Meanwhile, Howard makes a grand romantic gesture to Bernadette, which causes Penny to put more effort into her relationship with Leonard.
TV-PG
9:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Proton Displacement, The
When Sheldon's childhood hero, Professor Proton, seeks Leonard's help with an experiment, the slighted Sheldon goes nuclear and decides to get revenge by befriending another TV science guy.
TV-PG
9:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Itchy Brain Simulation, The
Leonard fails to stop Sheldon from overreacting after a past slight comes to light, and as punishment Leonard must walk a mile in Sheldon's shoes. Meanwhile, Penny has a run-in with Raj's former girlfriend Lucy.
TV-PG
10:00 pm
Movie (DVS)
Hunger Games: Catching Fire, The
After arriving safely home from their unprecedented victory in the 74th Annual Hunger Games, Katniss and Peeta discover they must do a quick turnaround and begin a Victors Tour.
TV-14
1:00 am
Movie (DVS)
Hunger Games, The
Every year in the ruins of what was once North America, the nation of Panem forces each of its twelve districts to send a teenage boy and girl to compete in the Hunger Games. Part twisted entertainment, part government intimidation tactic, the Hunger Games are a nationally televised event in which "Tributes" must fight with one another until one survivor remains. Pitted against highly-trained Tributes who have prepared for these Games their entire lives, Katniss is forced to rely upon her sharp instincts as well as the mentorship of drunken former victor Haymitch Abernathy. If she's ever to return home to District 12, Katniss must make impossible choices in the arena that weigh survival against humanity and life against love.
TV-14
4:00 am
New Girl
Wedding Eve
'Twas the night before the wedding, and Nick and Winston help out on Schmidt's rewrite of his vows, while Jess, who suspects Sam will propose to her, gets the gang to play a game of True American to avoid having to answer him.
TV-14
4:30 am
New Girl
Landing Gear
In the Season 5 finale, Schmidt's last ditch effort to convince Cece's mother to attend the wedding leads to complications that might result in him missing the big day.
TV-14
5:00 am
Married With Children
It Doesn't Get Any Better Than This
Al takes a fishing trip alone only to have Peg and Marcy show up and spoil his vacation.
TV-PG
5:30 am
Married With Children
Heels on Wheels
Kelly buys a motorcycle to put some fun back into her life but disaster strikes when Al decides to take the bike out for a spin.
TV-PG
 

Monday, May 1

6:00 am
Married With Children
Mr. Empty Pants
Peggy's unflattering cartoon makes Al a reluctant celebrity.
TV-PG
6:30 am
Married With Children
You Can't Miss
Fed up with his non-existent social life, Bud decides to go on a dating game for nerds. Everyone is surprised when the beautiful Candy chooses Bud for his date. Although the two don't hit it off, Bud is certain that Candy will choose him on next week's show to accompany her on a dream date to Bermuda. Bud is disappointed when she chooses the show's handsome Latin Lover, and returns to find, much to his surprise, a host of available and willing women waiting for him.
TV-PG
7:00 am
Married With Children
Peggy and the Pirates
Peg whips out a trashy romance novel to try to help Seven fall asleep and, imagining herself as the beautiful Princess Scarlett, tells of being kidnapped by Captain Courage, who bears striking resemblance to Al. When Paco, her supposed savior, develops an interest in the androgynous Cabin Boy-Girl, Scarlett turns to Captain Courage, promising to be a loyal servant who will work to feed and clothe him.
TV-PG
7:30 am
Married With Children
Go for the Old
At first depressed when a theater cashier mistakes him for a senior citizen, Al reconsiders and sees the benefits to getting a senior citizen discount card. Al enters the Chicago Area Senior Athletic Championships much to the embarrassment of his family. Placing fifteenth at the end of the first day's events, Al becomes inspired by the memory of his high school football career. He struggles into second place and after debating whether or not it would be fair to steal the title from an old guy, he catches a glimpse of the trophy and snatches the victory for himself.
TV-PG
8:00 am
Friends (SAP)
One with the Evil Orthodontist, The
Rachel reunites with her duplicitous ex-fiance. Chandler agonizes about a woman who doesn't call him after the first date.
TV-14
8:30 am
Friends (SAP)
One with the Fake Monica, The
Monica meets a woman who helps her live out her fantasies. Ross' pet monkey becomes sexually mature and makes everyone crazy.
TV-PG
9:00 am
Friends (SAP)
One with the Ick Factor, The
Monica finds out more than she wants to know about her latest love. Chandler's friends at work treat him differently since his promotion. Ross' ex-wife begins giving birth.
TV-PG
9:30 am
Friends (SAP)
One with the Birth, The
When Carol gives birth, Ross and Susan almost miss the event. Joey befriends an unmarried pregnant woman.
TV-PG
10:00 am
Friends (SAP)
One Where Rachel Finds Out, The
Rachel finds out about Ross' secret love for her but another surprise awaits her.
TV-PG
10:30 am
Friends (SAP)
One with Ross's New Girlfriend, The
Rachel gets an unpleasant surprise when Ross returns home. Phoebe has varied success cutting the friends' hair.
TV-14
11:00 am
Friends (SAP)
One with the Breast Milk, The
Phoebe unwittingly disgusts everybody. Joey competes with a fellow salesman.
TV-PG
11:30 am
Friends (SAP)
One Where Heckles Dies, The
The downstairs neighbor dies and bequeaths his strange possessions to Monica and Rachel.
TV-PG
12:00 pm
Cleveland Show, The
Of Lice And Men
Rallo is forced to have his head shaved after he contracts lice; Cleveland housesits for Freight Train and Cookie.
TV-14
12:30 pm
Cleveland Show, The
Mr. and Mrs. Brown
Cleveland and Cookie get mistaken for a married couple; after he gets caught stealing a candy bar, Rallo pins the theft on Junior.
TV-14
1:00 pm
American Dad
Anchorfran
Francine sets out to help news anchor Greg when he and Terry split up. Roger becomes obsessed with a fictional boy from an old game called Dream Phone.
TV-14
1:30 pm
American Dad
Two Hundred, The
Stan, tattooed and haunted, travels a barren Langley Falls alone. Meanwhile, a mysterious element known as The Two Hundred has reigned terror on the town and separated Stan from his family.
TV-14
2:00 pm
American Dad
Unincludeds, The
Steve and Snot alter their futures when they throw a party for the uncool kids. Meanwhile, Roger is disgruntled when a waitress doesn't compliment his order and Stan and Francine go on vacation in Bosnia.
TV-14
2:30 pm
American Dad (DVS)
Dentist's Wife, The
Roger loses his identity after becoming fascinated by a local dentist's wife. Meanwhile, Klaus throws a party when Stan and the kids are unable to move from being sore after working out.
TV-14
3:00 pm
Bob's Burgers
Ear-sy Rider
A biker gang hangs out at Bob's Burgers as they mourn the loss of their beloved leader "Horny Dave." Meanwhile, Louise has an identity crisis when her bunny ears are stolen and everyone - including the biker gang - rallies around her.
TV-14
3:30 pm
Bob's Burgers
Full Bars
The Belcher kids break their Halloween tradition by ditching their usual trick-or-treating route and venturing off to Kingshead Island, a posh neighborhood that is known for distributing full-sized candy bars. Meanwhile, Bob and Linda attend Teddy's annual "Black and Orange" party.
TV-PG
4:00 pm
Bob's Burgers
Bob Fires the Kids
Bob worries he's depriving his children of their summer vacation by making them work at the restaurant so he fires them. However, the kids become so bored with their newfound freedom they secretly get hired by a pair of married hippie farmers, who hire the Belcher kids as weed pickers. Meanwhile, Bob hires Mickey the bank robber to help out at the restaurant but soon regrets his decision.
TV-14
4:30 pm
Bob's Burgers
Mutiny on the Windbreaker
When Bob is invited to be a private chef on a docked cruise ship, he brings the family along to witness his skills outside of the restaurant. However, Bob's big day goes awry when the ship departs with the Belchers on board, and there is no one tending to the restaurant.
TV-PG
5:00 pm
Bob's Burgers
Indecent Thanksgiving Proposal, An
Bob's favorite holiday of all time, and this year he is determined to make it the most memorable Thanksgiving ever. However, the plans change when Mr. Fischoeder needs to hire Bob as his chef, and Linda and the kids as his family to stage the perfect Thanksgiving dinner and make a former flame jealous.
TV-14
5:30 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Save the Clam
Peter and his friends attempt to save The Drunken Clam bar from being demolished; Meg takes a job as an undertaker's assistant.
TV-14
6:00 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Farmer Guy
When a crime spree sweeps through Quahog, the Griffins move to the safety of a farm, where they're forced to open a meth lab to make ends meet.
TV-14
6:30 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
No Country Club for Old Men
A wealthy girl invites Chris and his family to spend time at the prestigious Barrington Country Club, but complications ensue when Carter gets kicked out of the club.
TV-14
7:00 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Roads to Vegas
Brian and Stewie go to Vegas, but chaos erupts when a glitch in Stewie's new teleportation machine creates a duplicate Brian and Stewie.
TV-14
7:30 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Finders Keepers
After Peter finally goes to the dentist to take care of his bad breath, the Griffins celebrate with a family dinner at The Founding Father Restaurant. The waiter notices Stewie coloring in his placemat, and explains that it's actually a reprinted treasure map.
TV-14
8:00 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Vestigial Peter
Fed up with Peter¿s old, tattered, shirt, Lois takes him to the mall to buy a new outfit for church. When Peter struggles with the top button, they notice a large lump on his neck. Alarmed, they rush to the hospital where Dr. Hartman guesses that it¿s an incomplete vestigial twin.
TV-14
8:30 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Quagmire's Quagmire
Quagmire purchases a new laptop, which promptly gets infected by viruses from all of the dirty websites he visits. When he takes it in to be fixed, the technician, Sonja, is unfazed by his browser history and actually recommends alternate sites. Impressed, Quagmire asks her out on a date.
TV-14
9:00 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Fistful of Meg, A
A new kid arrives at James Woods High and quickly earns the nickname "Mental Mike" for his aggressive and violent reputation.
TV-14
9:30 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Boopa-Dee Bappa Dee
The Quahog 5 News reports an ongoing price war between airlines has led to extremely reduced fares. Lois takes advantage of the situation and purchases tickets to Italy for the family.
TV-14
10:00 pm
American Dad (DVS)
Casino Normale
Francine steals from the CIA and pretends to be a sexy supervillain to incite Stan to be more seductive. Roger tricks Hayley and Steve into trapping Jay Leno so he can take revenge on him.
TV-14
10:30 pm
Angie Tribeca (DVS)
Turn Me On, Geils
From the minds of Steve and Nancy Carell comes TBS's hit comedy series Angie Tribeca, starring Rashida Jones as lone-wolf LAPD Detective Angie Tribeca and Hayes MacArthur as her new partner, J. Geils, with whom she shares a will-they-or-won't-they sexual tension. Under the supervision of the apoplectic Captain Atkins (Jere Burns) and with the assistance of Detective Danny Tanner (Deon Cole); his K9 partner, Hoffman (Jagger); and brilliant medical examiner Dr. Monica Scholls (Andrée Vermeulen), Tribeca and Geils investigate the city's most heinous crimes, from the murder of a ventriloquist to a rash of baker suicides.
TV-14
11:00 pm
Conan (CC)
Episode 71029
Guests: Kevin Nealon, Chuck Todd, The Zombies
TV-14
12:00 am
Angie Tribeca (DVS)
Turn Me On, Geils
From the minds of Steve and Nancy Carell comes TBS's hit comedy series Angie Tribeca, starring Rashida Jones as lone-wolf LAPD Detective Angie Tribeca and Hayes MacArthur as her new partner, J. Geils, with whom she shares a will-they-or-won't-they sexual tension. Under the supervision of the apoplectic Captain Atkins (Jere Burns) and with the assistance of Detective Danny Tanner (Deon Cole); his K9 partner, Hoffman (Jagger); and brilliant medical examiner Dr. Monica Scholls (Andrée Vermeulen), Tribeca and Geils investigate the city's most heinous crimes, from the murder of a ventriloquist to a rash of baker suicides.
TV-14
12:30 am
Conan (CC)
Episode 71029
Guests: Kevin Nealon, Chuck Todd, The Zombies
TV-14
1:30 am
Seinfeld
Chinese Restaurant, The
Jerry, Elaine and George need reservations at a Chinese restaurant.
TV-PG
2:00 am
2 Broke Girls (DVS)
And the Temporary Distraction
When the girls take office temp jobs, Caroline tries to climb the corporate ladder and Max finds herself being hit on by the boss.
TV-14
2:30 am
2 Broke Girls (DVS)
And the Big Hole
After Han fires Caroline for insulting his diner, Max tries to coax Caroline into apologizing.
TV-14
3:00 am
Movie
Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides
Captain Jack Sparrow crosses paths with a woman from his past and is not sure if it's love or if she's a ruthless con artist using him to find the fabled Fountain of Youth. When she forces him aboard the Queen Anne's Revenge, the ship of the formidable pirate Blackbeard, Jack finds himself on an unexpected adventure in which he doesn't know who to fear more: Blackbeard or the woman from his past.
TV-14
 

Tuesday, May 2

6:00 am
Married With Children
Un-Alful Entry
When Al renders a burglar unconscious, he is dubbed a local hero for bravely defending his home. Trying to capitalize on his fame, Al proposes selling advertising space on his clothing. All plans are destroyed however, when he is notified the burglar is suing him for $50,000. Finally, with nothing left to lose, Al hits the burglar again hoping to reverse his losses by suing him for damage to his hand.
TV-PG
6:30 am
Married With Children
Movie Show
When the Bundy family is reminded that Kelly's birthday is coming up, Al seizes the opportunity to appear generous by offering to take her to the movies after Kelly's boyfriend, Frank, has already invited her out. Certain that Kelly would refuse, the Bundys are surprised when she cancels her date with Frank to join them. As they are settling into their seats at the theater, Kelly is shocked to find Frank out with another girl. Kelly confronts Frank about his unfaithfulness then sends Al over to beat him up.
TV-PG
7:00 am
Married With Children
'Til Death Do Us Part
Peg's complaints about Al's lovemaking to the girls at the beauty parlor makes him the laughing stock of the town. Trying to pull him out of his depression, Peg spreads rumors that she was ravished by him. Despite her efforts, Al still feels inadequate until he has some old flames confirm his sexual prowess. Convinced that he was once a real stud, he works his way back into shape and finally impresses Peg with his revitalized sexual vigor.
TV-PG
7:30 am
Married With Children
Tis Time to Smell the Roses
Convinced by Peg and the kids to take the $12,000 offered by his company for early retirement, Al is forced to take another job as a trainee at Homeplate Athletic Shoes when they start spending the nest egg at a rate that is sure to leave them broke. Al learns that three of his coworkers are planning to buy the store but, hoping to join them in the purchase, he misses out when Peg fails to wake him on time. Finally, Al decides to spend his last $6000 on the lottery, only to find that his coworkers are the big winners.
TV-PG
8:00 am
Married With Children
Old Insurance Dodge
Upon reporting that the family's dilapidated 1974 Dodge has been stolen, Al is furious to find out that the insurance will only give him $50 for the car, so he decides to add a few priceless items to the list of things that were in the missing car's trunk. When the police show up and announce that they have found the old Dodge, Al insists that he is happier with his old car back, than he would be with the multi-million dollar settlement.
TV-PG
8:30 am
Married With Children
Wedding Repercussions
Jimmy, the Bundy's cousin, is intent on killing the man who slept with his wife on their wedding day. Bud is worried that he will be identified as the culprit and is relieved when Jimmy enlists him to help find the guilty party. When Jimmy suspects Jefferson, Bud realizes he must admit his wrongdoing, only to find out that Jimmy is no longer interested, having found a new woman, Dee Anna. All is fine until Dee Anna tries to seduce Bud behind Jimmy's back.
TV-PG
9:00 am
King of Queens, The
Assaulted Nuts
After Doug convinces Carrie he doesn't goof around at work, horseplay gets him into a painful and embarrassing predicament.
TV-14
9:30 am
King of Queens, The
Parent Trapped
Deacon and Kelly ask Doug and Carrie to be the godparents of their new baby; Arthur is put in charge of the pretzel stand.
TV-PG
10:00 am
King of Queens, The
Dire Strayts
Doug and Carrie invite Ray and Debra Barone (``Everybody Loves Raymond'') to dinner; Doug gets stuck in the attic.
TV-PG
10:30 am
King of Queens, The
Doug Out
Feeling guilty, Doug invites Arthur to a Mets game; Doug gets arrested trying to catch a foul ball.
TV-PG
11:00 am
Cleveland Show, The
Crazy Train
When Freight Train begins treating Cleveland with respect, Donna concludes there's only one cause: a mental breakdown; Junior and Rallo make off with a cherry-picker.
TV-14
11:30 am
Cleveland Show, The
Wheel! Of! Family!
An exhausted Cleveland and Donna ask relatives for help when Junior, Roberta and Rallo run them ragged; Robert and Dee Dee adopt a baby; Junior takes a pole dancing class.
TV-14
12:00 pm
American Dad (DVS)
Widow's Pique
When Stan is on a mission, Francine pretends she's a widow. Steve and his friends play wrestling and get beat up by Principal Lewis.
TV-14
12:30 pm
American Dad
Nova Centauris-burgh Board of Tourism Presents: American Dad, The
Francine joins in on Steve and his pals' live-action role-playing game. Stan opens a knock-off Seaworld in the house.
TV-14
1:00 pm
American Dad
Daesong Heavy Industries
Stan loses his faith in religion after Steve questions everything in the Bible. He takes the family to Korea to investigate the rumors of a reinvented "Noah's Ark."
TV-14
1:30 pm
American Dad
Daesong Heavy Industries II: Return to Innocence
Everyone is separated after the ship explodes: Stan and Francine lose their memories and resort to primitive living on an island, Hayley and Jeff are rescued by the Navy and Jeff decides to enlist, and Roger and Steve try to survive on a lifeboat in the middle of the ocean.
TV-14
2:00 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Juice is Loose, The
Peter cashes in a raffle ticket, and wins a golf outing with O.J. Simpson; but when he brings home the infamous former running back, the residents of Quahog are not so welcoming to the new houseguest.
TV-14
2:30 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Fox-y Lady
Lois gets a job working for FOX News and has to do a report on a liberal filmmaker. However, she loses the job when her story implicates a conservative radio host.
TV-14
3:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One with Phoebe's Husband, The
Everyone is surprised when Phoebe's husband shows up.
TV-PG
3:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One with Five Steaks and an Eggplant, The
The friends want to give Ross a birthday party but disagree about money. Monica gets promoted and learns a tough lesson.
TV-PG
4:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One with the Baby on the Bus, The
Matt and Chandler try to attract women with baby Ben. Phoebe gets terminated from her singing job and replaced by a professional, Stephanie.
TV-PG
4:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One Where Ross Finds Out, The
Dramatic developments occur in Ross and Rachel's relationship. Chandler regrets asking Monica to help him lose weight.
TV-PG
5:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One with Russ, The
Joey gets a great acting opportunity. Rachel dates a guy who is amazingly similar to Ross.
TV-PG
5:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One with the Lesbian Wedding, The
Carol and Susan prepare for their wedding with some help from an uncomfortable Ross.
TV-PG
6:00 pm
Seinfeld
Phone Message, The
George regrets a nasty message he put on a date's answering machine.
TV-PG
6:30 pm
Seinfeld
Apartment, The
Jerry regrets encouraging Elaine to move into his building.
TV-PG
7:00 pm
Seinfeld
Stranded, The
Waiting for a ride, Jerry and Elaine keep a party's host up late.
TV-PG
7:30 pm
Seinfeld
Statue, The
Jerry thinks a friend stole his statue, but doesn't know how to get it back.
TV-PG
8:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Thanksgiving Decoupling, The
Howard's mother has a say when he and Bernadette host Thanksgiving dinner for the gang.
TV-PG
8:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Discovery Dissipation, The
When Sheldon's accidental scientific discovery is disproved, Amy and Leonard try to help him deal with the shame and the disappointment. Meanwhile, Howard and Bernadette open their home to Raj for a week.
TV-PG
9:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Cooper Extraction, The
With Sheldon in Texas, the gang gathers to decorate for Christmas, and they contemplate if each would have had a wonderful life had they never met him.
TV-PG
9:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Hesitation Ramification, The
Penny turns to Leonard for comfort after her guest appearance on NCIS does not turn out well. She ends up putting Leonard on the spot regarding their relationship. Sheldon works on his sense of humor and Raj practices talking to girls.
TV-PG
10:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Occupation Recalibration, The
There's impactful news on the work front as Penny makes a big step toward pursuing a full-time acting career, and Sheldon is forced to take a vacation.
TV-PG
10:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Convention Conundrum, The
Unable to score tickets for Comic-Con, Sheldon decides to stage his own comic-book convention, while the ladies attempt to act like grown ups.
TV-PG
11:00 pm
Conan (CC)
Episode 71030
Guests: Kristin Chenoweth, Jonathan Banks, Highasakite
TV-14
12:00 am
Seinfeld
Heart Attack, The
George thinks he's having a heart attack.
TV-PG
12:30 am
Conan (CC)
Episode 71030
Guests: Kristin Chenoweth, Jonathan Banks, Highasakite
TV-14
1:30 am
Seinfeld
Revenge, The
George seeks revenge on his ex-boss for not rehiring him.
TV-PG
2:00 am
2 Broke Girls (DVS)
And the Worst Selfie Ever
Caroline panics when she develops a rash after a night with her ex-boyfriend, Andy.
TV-14
2:30 am
2 Broke Girls (DVS)
And the Extra Work
Max and Caroline are invited to be extras on a popular TV show shooting a scene in Han's diner, but when Caroline catches the director's eye, he offers her an actual role with strings attached.
TV-14
3:00 am
Movie
Wild Wild West
Special government agent James West and his co-hort Artemus Gordon, team up to thwart the diabolical Dr Arliss Loveless who is plotting to assassinate the President of the United States with the aid of a huge, walking weapon-transport vehicle called "The Tarantula."
TV-14
5:00 am
Married With Children
Proposition, The
When Coco, a cosmetic millionairess and former girlfriend of Al's, arrives she makes an indecent proposal by offering Peggy $500,000 for one night with Al. Though both Peg and Al have reservations about the proposal, they agree to do it for the children. However, after actually seeing Al in bed with Coco, Peggy reneges on the deal and returns Coco's check.
TV-PG
5:30 am
Married With Children
Tisket, a Tasket, Can Peg Make a Basket?, A
Al and Peggy go to a basketball game, and they switch seats. Soon, Peg is called up for a free throw, which Al feels should have been his since it was his seat in the first place. It's up to Peggy to make the free throw and win the $10,000.
TV-PG
 

Wednesday, May 3

6:00 am
Married With Children
Hood 'n the Boyz
Al meets his girlfriend from when he was young, and a gang seems to be bothering her. Al feels he should help her with the problem.
TV-PG
6:30 am
Married With Children
Proud to Be Your Bud?
Bud's latest attempts to impress women fail miserably, causing him such embarrassment that he confines himself to the basement. But when his cool alter ego appears, Bud learns the secrets of gaining adoration.
TV-PG
7:00 am
Married With Children
Luck of the Bundys
Peg checks Al's horoscope and insists he's due for a stroke of good luck. But when good things actually start happening, Al gets a shrinking feeling that his luck won't last.
TV-PG
7:30 am
Married With Children
Banking on Marcy
When Marcy's superiors at the bank ask her to deliver bad news at a shareholder's meeting, she calls a radio therapist who suggests she focus on sex to overcome her fear of speaking in public, advice that leads to disastrous results.
TV-PG
8:00 am
Married With Children
No Chicken, No Check
Al quits lending his car to Kelly and Bud, who take matters into their own hands and purchase one to share. But when both make plans for the drive-in, they are forced to double date, with each trying to get the other out of the car.
TV-PG
8:30 am
Married With Children
Take My Wife, Please
On Halloween, Al is left to face Death as Peggy and the kids are recruited to fill in for the Village People.
TV-PG
9:00 am
King of Queens, The
Tube Stakes
Doug's big screen television is stolen when Carrie accidentally leaves the garage door open.
TV-PG
9:30 am
King of Queens, The
Get Away
On a weekend trip, Doug and Carrie discover that Deacon and Kelly have a much more active sex life.
TV-PG
10:00 am
King of Queens, The
Roamin' Holiday
Doug invites Spence to move in as part of a plan to keep Carrie's annoying friends from spending a weekend.
TV-PG
10:30 am
King of Queens, The
I, Candy
Doug's self-esteem gets a boost when a waitress flirts with him.
TV-PG
11:00 am
Cleveland Show, The
Pilot
Cleveland and his overweight 14-year-old son say goodbye to Quahog and set out for California. Along the way, Cleveland stops in his old hometown, where he eventually marries former classmate Donna Tubbs.
TV-14
11:30 am
Cleveland Show, The
Da Doggone Daddy-Daughter Dinner Dance
Cleveland asks Roberta to accompany him to a daddy/daughter dance at school, but his hopes of establishing a bond are torpedoed after he accidentally runs over the family's dog.
TV-14
12:00 pm
American Dad
Criss-Cross Applesauce: The Ballad of Billy Jesusworth
When Roger breaks his ankle, Francine convinces Stan to let him play in his basketball league. Meanwhile, Steve sings a song that parodies R. Kelley's "Trapped in the Closet."
TV-14
12:30 pm
American Dad
Mine Struggle
When Stan discovers a salt mine in the backyard, the Morton Salt Company wants to buy it. It turns out Steve is the rightful owner of the land and he faces pressure from the family to sell.
TV-14
1:00 pm
American Dad
Garfield and Friends
Stan brings President Garfield back to life in order to teach Hayley about history. Steve writes for the school newspaper.
TV-14
1:30 pm
American Dad (DVS)
Gift Me Liberty
When Bullock is upset that somebody did not bring a gift to the CIA Secret Santa party, Stan goes on a mission to find out who it was. Meanwhile, Steve poses as the good guy boyfriend of several female classmates.
TV-14
2:00 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Not All Dogs Go to Heaven
After a frustrating day at the annual Quahog Star Trek convention, Stewie builds a transporter and beams the entire cast of Star Trek: The Next Generation into his room for a fun-filled day in Quahog.
TV-14
2:30 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Episode 420
When Brian gets busted for possession of marijuana, he starts a campaign to legalize the drug. Mayor West passes the law, which turns the townspeople into a bunch of potheads.
TV-14
3:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One Where Old Yeller Dies, The
Monica's boyfriend impresses Chandler and Joey. Phoebe finds out what she missed as a child.
TV-PG
3:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One After the Super Bowl Part 1, The
Ross searches for his former pet monkey. Joey dates an obsessed fan.
TV-PG
4:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One After the Super Bowl Part 2, The
Ross spends some quality time with Marcel, his former pet monkey. Chandler gets a big surprise from a sexy former classmate.
TV-PG
4:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One with the Prom Video, The
Monica's old home video shows Ross' true feelings for Rachel. Joey gives a gaudy gift to Chandler.
TV-PG
5:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One Where Ross and Rachel...You Know, The
Ross and Rachel encounter obstacles to romance. Monica becomes enamored with a handsome, older doctor.
TV-14
5:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One Where Joey Moves Out, The
Monica's parents find out about her middle-aged boyfriend. Chandler and Joey argue and it could mean the end of their living arrangement.
TV-PG
6:00 pm
Seinfeld
Deal, The
Jerry and Elaine mull intimacy but without commitment.
TV-PG
6:30 pm
Seinfeld
Chaperone, The
Kramer chaperons Jerry's date with a beauty contestant; guest Ian Abercrombie.
TV-PG
7:00 pm
Seinfeld
Big Salad, The
Kramer helps an athlete wanted for a brutal crime flee police; guest Michelle Forbes.
TV-PG
7:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Locomotive Manipulation, The
Amy has amour on her mind when she talks Sheldon into a romantic Valentine's Day getaway to Napa Valley wine country. Back at home, Leonard and Penny make an emergency visit to the vet with Raj's dog.
TV-PG
8:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Table Polarization, The
Leonard's purchase of a dining-room table for the apartment doesn't sit well with Sheldon, so much so that it forces him to reevaluate his life. Meanwhile, Bernadette isn't quite over the moon about Howard taking another trip to space.
TV-PG
8:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Friendship Turbulence, The
Things turn rocky between Sheldon and Wolowitz after a barrage of insults, and Bernadette steps in to mediate a peace. Meanwhile, Penny is offered a movie role that may prove embarrassing.
TV-PG
9:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Mommy Observation, The
While Sheldon and Howard continue their bonding holiday to Houston Texas, Sheldon's surprise visit to see his mommy forces him to start addressing a new reality. Meanwhile, the rest of the gang are subjected to a surprise Koothrappali Murder Mystery party that leads the gang to speculate where they might all be 20 years from now.
TV-PG
9:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Indecision Amalgamation, The
Raj wrestles with dating two women at the same time; Penny is offered a part in a trashy movie; and Sheldon can't decide between two gaming systems.
TV-PG
10:00 pm
Full Frontal with Samantha Bee
NOT the White House Correspondents' Dinner
TV-MA
11:00 pm
Conan (CC)
Episode 71031
Guests: Kurt Russell, Ron Funches, Chicano Batman
TV-14
12:00 am
Full Frontal with Samantha Bee
12:30 am
Conan (CC)
Episode 71031
Guests: Kurt Russell, Ron Funches, Chicano Batman
TV-14
1:30 am
Angie Tribeca
Pilot
The mayor is being blackmailed and the lieutenant is just sick about it. Angie Tribeca is assigned a new partner, Jay Geils, to find the blackmailer and bring him to justice. The only problem Tribeca works alone.
TV-14
2:00 am
Angie Tribeca
Wedding Planner Did It, The
A baker's been murdered and the lieutenant is just sick about it. Tribeca must track down the murderer before any other people get murdered by that murderer. The only problem She doesn't know who did it.
TV-14
2:30 am
Angie Tribeca
Famous Ventriloquist Did It, The
A ventriloquist is dead and the lieutenant is just sick about it. On the case, Tribeca delves into the salacious world of American ventriloquism. The only problem Geils always wanted to be a ventriloquist, which may not sound like a problem but is.
TV-PG
3:00 am
Angie Tribeca
Thumb Affair, The
A priceless work of art is missing and the lieutenant is extremely sick. Tribeca and Geils search and high and low and in the middle to recover the stolen painting. The only problems The demons in Tribeca's past and the lieutenant's lingering illness.
TV-14
3:30 am
Angie Tribeca
Commissioner Bigfish
Tribeca and Geils are poking around into a prostitution ring and the lieutenant is just sick, mostly about it. Afraid of what they might uncover, he orders them to stop. The only problem "Stop" isn't a word in Angie Tribeca's vocabulary.
TV-14
4:00 am
Married With Children
Scared Single
Al tries to counsel a new employee against marriage.
TV-PG
4:30 am
Married With Children
No Ma'am
The women take over the bowling alley and the nudie bar. Al and his group are furious and create the No Ma'am group and soon hack into the television.
TV-PG
5:00 am
Married With Children
Dances with Weezy
Al and Jefferson avoid a theater event in order to go to a sports bar.
TV-PG
5:30 am
Married With Children
Change for a Buck
Feeling disenchanted and ignored, Buck runs away.
TV-PG
 

Thursday, May 4

6:00 am
Married With Children
Little off the Top, A
Al is accidentally circumcised.
TV-PG
6:30 am
TBS Network Preview
Episode 1
A backstage peek at TBS's original programs.
6:40 am
Special Presentation
Star Wars: The Phantom Menace
Sci-fi adventure which takes place before the birth of Luke Skywalker, featuring the friendship between the young Obi-Wan Kenobi and Anakin Skywalker, who would later become Darth Vader. The galactic government has been weakened, and when the peaceful planet of Naboo is threatened by the giant Trade Federation, it seems that nobody will step in to defend Queen Amidala and her people. Jedi Knight Qui-Gon Jinn and his apprentice Obi-Wan Kenobi are sent to find a settlement and discover the extent of the planet's peril. In the course of their adventures, they find a young slave, Anakin, whom Qui-Gon senses is destined to bring balance to the Force. Against Obi-Wan's suspicions, he decides to train Anakin as a Jedi Knight.
TV-PG
9:26 am
Special Presentation
Star Wars: Attack of the Clones
Set ten years after the events of "Star Wars: Episode I - The Phantom Menace", not only has the galaxy undergone significant change, but so have our familiar heroes Obi-Wan Kenobi, Padme Amidala, and Anakin Skywalker, as they are thrown together again for the first time since the Trade Federation invasion of Naboo. Anakin has grown into the accomplished Jedi apprentice of Obi-Wan, who himself has transitioned from student to teacher. The two Jedi are assigned to protect Padme whose life is threatened by a faction of political separatists. As relationships form and powerful forces collide, these heroes face choices that will impact not only their own fates, but the destiny of the Republic.
TV-PG
12:20 pm
Special Presentation
Star Wars: Revenge of the Sith
The galaxy is weary after three long years of war. Anakin Skywalker and Obi-Wan Kenobi have become legendary heroes in their campaigns against the droid forces of the evil General Grievous. Anakin and his secret wife, Padme Amidala, have been separated for months, and he finally reunites with her to learn that she is pregnant. He is plagued by visions of her dying in childbirth, haunting images of a possible future. Anakin is determined to stop her from dying--no matter the cost. This leads Anakin down a dark path to commit terrible deeds. Obi-Wan Kenobi must face his former apprentice in a ferocious lightsaber duel on the fiery world of Mustafar.
TV-14
3:12 pm
Special Presentation (DVS)
Star Wars: A New Hope
In a distant galaxy, a long time ago, young Luke Skywalker assembles his motley crew of allies including space rogue Han Solo and two "droids" -- C3PO and R2D2 -- to rescue Princess Leia, the rebel leader of her planet from the clutches of the evil Empire as embodied by its enforcer Darth Vader.
TV-PG
5:43 pm
Special Presentation
Star Wars: The Empire Strikes Back
Luke Skywalker and his loyal band team up to do battle with Empire's forces who decide to enact revenge. Yet, Luke is empowered by the Jedi master Yoda in learning to master the "Force", something he will need when he meets Darth Vader in a startling confrontation.
TV-PG
8:17 pm
Special Presentation (DVS)
Star Wars: Return of the Jedi
Luke Skywalker, Princess Leia, Lando Calrissian and their small army of friends rescue Han Solo from the clutches of the menacingly ugly Jabba the Hutt and go on to do battle with the Empire, even after Darth Vader has broken off in his own rebellion.
TV-PG
11:00 pm
Conan (CC)
Episode 71032
Guests: Alec Baldwin, Al Madrigal, Joe List
TV-14
12:00 am
Seinfeld
Pledge Drive, The
Jerry cashes old birthday checks from his grandmother.
TV-PG
12:30 am
Conan (CC)
Episode 71032
Guests: Alec Baldwin, Al Madrigal, Joe List
TV-14
1:30 am
Seinfeld
Chinese Woman, The
George's crossed phone lines acquaint the gang with a woman who isn't what she seems.
TV-PG
2:00 am
2 Broke Girls (DVS)
And the Tip Slip
Caroline's father, Martin Channing, asks Caroline to go on a talk show to defend him when a former employee threatens to defame him in a tell-all book.
TV-14
2:30 am
2 Broke Girls (DVS)
And the Window of Opportunity
When Max and Caroline offer to deep-clean a previously hidden part of the diner, they discover something that could re-launch their cupcake business.
TV-14
3:00 am
Movie (DVS)
Star Wars: Return of the Jedi
Luke Skywalker, Princess Leia, Lando Calrissian and their small army of friends rescue Han Solo from the clutches of the menacingly ugly Jabba the Hutt and go on to do battle with the Empire, even after Darth Vader has broken off in his own rebellion.
TV-PG
 

Friday, May 5

6:00 am
Married With Children
Worst Noel, The
On Christmas Eve, Kelly and Bud try to sneak in a jukebox to give to their parents who spend the entire show sitting in front of their TV set arguing with each other over the proper speed for channel switching. Also, Marcy and Jefferson throw a wild Christmas party next door and do not tell Al about it.
TV-PG
6:30 am
Married With Children
Honey, I Blew Up Myself
Peggy's birthday gift for Al causes quite a stir at the mall.
TV-PG
7:00 am
Married With Children
Sofa So Good
Al and Peggy go away for awhile, and Kelly has her boyfriend over, who happens to ruin the couch. Bud and Kelly have to replace it before Al and Peggy come back.
TV-PG
7:30 am
Married With Children
How Green Was My Apple
The Bundy's and the D'Arcys go to war over a property line dispute.
TV-PG
8:00 am
Married With Children
Get Outta Dodge
When Al's old Dodge approaches the one million mark, the manufacturer offers to highlight it in a commercial in exchange for a brand new sports car.
TV-PG
8:30 am
Married With Children
Valentine's Day Massacre
When Bud discovers a long-lost Valentine's card a girlfriend had sent him a year ago, he goes on a mission to find his lost love.
TV-PG
9:00 am
King of Queens, The
Sparing Carrie
Doug's bowling team must win a match or else fire Carrie.
TV-PG
9:30 am
King of Queens, The
Net Prophets
Carrie insists on using her Christmas bonus to invest in Internet stock.
TV-PG
10:00 am
King of Queens, The
Block Buster
Doug's memories of his glory days as a football player don't match those of his old teammates.
TV-PG
10:30 am
King of Queens, The
Frozen Pop
Arthur moves into the upstairs bedroom when cold weather forces him out of the basement.
TV-PG
11:00 am
Cleveland Show, The
One About Friends, The
Cleveland tries to pair up Cleveland Jr. with Lester's son, Ernie, but things backfire when Child Services puts Ernie in a foster home; Tim and Holt take a trip to Las Vegas.
TV-14
11:30 am
Cleveland Show, The
Birth of a Salesman
Tim helps Cleveland find a position at the cable television company where he works, only to grow jealous when Cleveland excels at his job.
TV-14
12:00 pm
American Dad (DVS)
Next of Pin
Stan and Steve start bowling together to have more quality time and Steve gets discovered for his bowling talent. Klaus holds a contest to test whether Roger or Hayley have the worse attention span.
TV-14
12:30 pm
American Dad
Standard Deviation
In order to avoid being sent on a suicide mission, Stan learns how to become a DJ to beat Bullock in a DJ Battle. Jeff takes up drinking psychedelic teas and Roger helps him build an imaginary musical instrument.
TV-14
1:00 pm
American Dad (DVS)
Father's Daze
The Smith family forgets to celebrate Father's Day, and so to make it up to Stan, they plan out the perfect day. Stan uses a CIA device to erase their memories and have them continually plan perfect days for him.
TV-14
1:30 pm
American Dad (DVS)
Fight and Flight
Stan goes over-the-top to produce a reenactment of Charles Lindbergh's solo flight for Steve's school project after he gets an F. Klaus buys a pair of shoes online and Hayley helps him harass the neighbor they believe has stolen them.
TV-14
2:00 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Stew-roids
After Stewie gets beaten up by Joe's infant daughter, Peter injects Stewie with steroids; Chris's popularity at school soars when he begins dating Connie.
TV-14
2:30 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
We Love You, Conrad
Brian is devastated to learn that his ex-girlfriend Jillian is getting married until he meets The Hills star Lauren Conrad. Though Brian begins to think he and Conrad are the perfect match, he finds his heart may still belong to Jillian.
TV-14
3:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One with the Princess Leia Fantasy, The
Ross' secret fantasy doesn't stay secret for long after he confides in Rachel. Chandler resumes an old relationship.
TV-PG
3:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One Where No One's Ready, The
Ross becomes frantic trying to get everyone ready to leave to hear his speech at the museum.
TV-PG
4:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One with the Jam, The
Monica wants to have a baby. A man is stalking Phoebe.
TV-PG
4:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One with the Metaphorical Tunnel, The
Chandler wants to commit to a relationship with Janice. Phoebe poses as Joey's agent.
TV-PG
5:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One with Frank Jr., The
Phoebe tries to be more friendly with her half-brother. Ross meets Isabella Rossellini.
TV-PG
5:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One with the Flashback, The
The friends recall secrets from their pasts.
TV-PG
6:00 pm
Seinfeld
Couch, The
Elaine dates the guy who delivered Jerry's new couch.
TV-PG
6:30 pm
Seinfeld
Gymnast, The
Elaine must substitute for her boss in a merger deal; a girlfriend's mom sees George eating out of the trash; guest Maurice Godin.
TV-PG
7:00 pm
Seinfeld
Mom & Pop Store, The
George buys a convertible the salesman claims once belonged to Jon Voight.
TV-PG
7:30 pm
Seinfeld
Soup, The
Jerry regrets accepting a designer suit from an obnoxious comedian (Stephen Hytner).
TV-PG
8:00 pm
Seinfeld
Secretary, The
A new secretary's efficiency arouses George; Jerry spots a dry cleaner wearing his clothes.
TV-PG
8:30 pm
Seinfeld
Switch, The
Kramer's mom (Sheree North) reveals her son's name to George; guest Terry Sweeney.
TV-PG
9:00 pm
Conan Special
Conan Without Borders: Made in Mexico
With all of the negative news about the current state of the U.S.-Mexico relationship, Conan has decided to strike a positive note by heading to Mexico City, where he'll outsource his show by shooting his latest "CONAN Without Borders" special with the help of an all-Mexican staff, crew, guests and studio audience.
TV-14
10:00 pm
ELEAGUE
Street Fighter V - Group C
The $250,000 Street Fighter V Invitational: Group C Playoffs.
12:00 am
Movie
Heartbreak Kid, The
After years of bachelorhood and ample pressure from his father, Doc, and best friend Mac, Eddie Cantrow starts to wonder if he is being too picky about the women he meets. So when a chance encounter with an alluring blonde named Lila leads to a sweet romance, Eddie impulsively proposes. But right after the wedding, as the newlyweds get to know each other on the drive down the California coast, Eddie begins to realize he''s made a terrible mistake. Soon after reaching their exotic Mexican hideaway, he falls for the down-to-earth Miranda, who has no clue he''s on his honeymoon. Now Eddie has to find a way to extricate himself from his days-old marriage without losing the girl of his dreams.
TV-14
2:15 am
Movie (DVS)
Hall Pass
Rick and Fred are best friends who have a lot in common, including the fact that they have each been married for many years. But when the two men begin to show signs of restlessness at home, their wives take a bold approach to revitalizing their marriages: granting them a "hall pass," one week of freedom to do whatever they want...no questions asked. At first, it sounds like a dream come true for Rick and Fred. But it isn''t long before they discover that their expectations of the single life--and themselves--are completely, and hilariously, out of sync with reality.
TV-14
4:30 am
New Girl
Helmet
Jess admits to having a sex dream about Nick; Schmidt dogs a talent agent for pets, hoping to get Winston's cat Ferguson an audition.
TV-14
5:00 am
Everybody Loves Raymond (SAP)
Home, The
Frank and Marie return from a trip down to a retirement home in New Jersey and they tell the family that they plan on moving there. Everyone, besides Frank and Marie, is overjoyed after hearing the news. Marie and Frank sell their house to Robert and Amy for $26,000. On they day of their moving, however, Debra reveals some mixed feelings about their moving and doesn't feel right about it.
TV-PG
5:30 am
Everybody Loves Raymond (SAP)
Finale
Ray fears getting his adenoids removed, but Debra convinces him to go through with the surgery.
TV-PG
 

Saturday, May 6

6:00 am
Everybody Loves Raymond (SAP)
Pilot
Sportswriter Ray Barone has parents who like to mind his business.
TV-PG
6:30 am
Everybody Loves Raymond (SAP)
I Love You
Ray cannot utter those three little words to his spouse.
TV-PG
7:00 am
Everybody Loves Raymond (SAP)
Frank the Writer
Frank submits a column idea to Ray's editor.
TV-PG
7:30 am
Movie (DVS)
Hall Pass
Rick and Fred are best friends who have a lot in common, including the fact that they have each been married for many years. But when the two men begin to show signs of restlessness at home, their wives take a bold approach to revitalizing their marriages: granting them a "hall pass," one week of freedom to do whatever they want...no questions asked. At first, it sounds like a dream come true for Rick and Fred. But it isn''t long before they discover that their expectations of the single life--and themselves--are completely, and hilariously, out of sync with reality.
TV-14
9:30 am
Movie
Heartbreak Kid, The
After years of bachelorhood and ample pressure from his father, Doc, and best friend Mac, Eddie Cantrow starts to wonder if he is being too picky about the women he meets. So when a chance encounter with an alluring blonde named Lila leads to a sweet romance, Eddie impulsively proposes. But right after the wedding, as the newlyweds get to know each other on the drive down the California coast, Eddie begins to realize he''s made a terrible mistake. Soon after reaching their exotic Mexican hideaway, he falls for the down-to-earth Miranda, who has no clue he''s on his honeymoon. Now Eddie has to find a way to extricate himself from his days-old marriage without losing the girl of his dreams.
TV-14
11:45 am
Movie (DVS)
Bounty Hunter, The
Milo Boyd, a down-on-his-luck bounty hunter, gets his dream job when he is assigned to track down his bail-jumping ex-wife, reporter Nicole Hurly. He thinks all that's ahead is an easy payday, but when Nicole gives him the slip so she can chase a lead on a murder cover-up, Milo realizes that nothing ever goes simply with him and Nicole. The exes continually one-up each other - until they find themselves on the run for their lives. They thought their promise to love, honor and obey was tough - staying alive is going to be a whole lot tougher.
TV-14
2:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One with the Race Car Bed, The
Joey sees Janice kissing her husband, whom she is divorcing while she dates Chandler. Rachel's father clashes with Ross.
TV-PG
2:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One with the Giant Poking Device, The
Chandler and Janice make a difficult decision about their relationship. Monica accidentally injures Ben and tries to hide it from Ross.
TV-PG
3:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One Where Chandler Can't Remember Which Sister, The
Rachel meets a handsome stranger, who might help her career. Chandler gets into trouble with Joey's sisters.
TV-14
3:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One with All the Jealousy, The
Ross overreacts when Rachel starts working with a handsome guy. Monica becomes enamored with a sexy busboy.
TV-PG
4:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One Where Monica and Richard Are Just Friends, The
When Monica and Richard accidentally meet, they decide to become friends with dire consequences.
TV-14
4:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One with Phoebe's Ex-Partner, The
Phoebe's ex-singing partner wants to make Phoebe's signature song, Smelly Cat, a commercial success. Chandler dates a woman with a handicap.
TV-PG
5:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One Where Ross and Rachel Take a Break Part 1, The
Phoebe becomes involved with a foreign diplomat. Ross becomes involved with another woman after a fight with Rachel.
TV-PG
5:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One the Morning After Part 2, The
Ross wakes up with Chloe but an oblivious Rachel wants to resume their relationship.
TV-PG
6:00 pm
2 Broke Girls (DVS)
And the Soft Opening
Business is booming at Max & Caroline's new cupcake walk-up after word spreads about a shocking incident involving a rock star.
TV-14
6:30 pm
2 Broke Girls (DVS)
And the Kickstarter
Caroline tries to raise money for an expensive pair of new pants through an online fundraising site. Meanwhile, Max's new smartphone comes between her and Caroline.
TV-14
7:00 pm
2 Broke Girls (DVS)
And the Kitty Kitty Spank Spank
When Max becomes smitten with an old stray cat that's been hanging around the apartment, Caroline tries to convince her they need to find it a better home. But just when they think they've found one, the cat's fate takes a turn.
TV-14
7:30 pm
2 Broke Girls (DVS)
And the Group Head
When Max and Caroline can't figure out how to use the new cappuccino maker they bought for their cupcake business, they take temporary side jobs as baristas at a coffee house to learn the ropes.
TV-14
8:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Relationship Diremption, The
Raj and Howard double-date and the latter is flushed with embarrassment after Raj's girlfriend reveals a secret she knows about Howard. Meanwhile, Sheldon is at loose ends when he begins to believe he's wasted his life trying to prove string theory.
TV-PG
8:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Anything Can Happen Recurrence, The
Leonard reinstates Anything Can Happen Thursday, and it leads the regimented Sheldon to attempt something spontaneous, which creates friction among Penny, Amy and Bernadette. Meanwhile, Raj requests help from Howard in prepping for a date with Emily.
TV-PG
9:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Proton Transmogrification, The
A grief-stricken Sheldon receives counseling from his childhood TV idol, Professor Proton, while Penny and Leonard reach a relationship milestone and turn it into a competition and Bernadette and Amy turn Star Wars Day into a special event for the guys.
TV-PG
9:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Gorilla Dissolution, The
A trying day at the movie shoot leaves Penny with questions about her life choices, so she decides to act on it; and caring for a bedridden Mrs. Wolowitz proves a challenge for Howard and Bernadette.
TV-PG
10:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Status Quo Combustion, The
Sheldon gets caught up in all the life-altering changes going on around him and considers a monumental move.
TV-PG
10:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Locomotion Interruption, The
Amy and Leonard take a surprise road trip to Arizona, while Penny goes on a job interview at Bernadette's company, and Howard has problems wrapping his head around Stuart's relationship with Mrs. Wolowitz.
TV-PG
11:00 pm
Full Frontal with Samantha Bee
11:30 pm
Angie Tribeca (DVS)
Turn Me On, Geils
From the minds of Steve and Nancy Carell comes TBS's hit comedy series Angie Tribeca, starring Rashida Jones as lone-wolf LAPD Detective Angie Tribeca and Hayes MacArthur as her new partner, J. Geils, with whom she shares a will-they-or-won't-they sexual tension. Under the supervision of the apoplectic Captain Atkins (Jere Burns) and with the assistance of Detective Danny Tanner (Deon Cole); his K9 partner, Hoffman (Jagger); and brilliant medical examiner Dr. Monica Scholls (Andrée Vermeulen), Tribeca and Geils investigate the city's most heinous crimes, from the murder of a ventriloquist to a rash of baker suicides.
TV-14
12:00 am
Movie (DVS)
Tower Heist
Queens native Josh Kovaks has managed one of the most luxurious and well-secured residences in New York City for more than a decade. Under his watchful eye, nothing goes undetected. In the swankiest unit atop Josh''s building, Wall Street titan Arthur Shaw is under house arrest after being caught stealing two billion from his investors. The hardest hit among those he defrauded? The tower staffers whose pensions he was entrusted to manage. With only days before Arthur gets away with the perfect crime, Josh''s crew turns to petty crook Slide to plan the nearly impossible...to steal what they are sure is hidden in Arthur''s guarded condo. Though amateurs, these rookie thieves know the building better than anyone. Turns out they''ve been casing the place for years, they just didn''t know it.
TV-14
2:00 am
Movie
Duplex
In terms of living the American Dream, Alex and Nancy have it pretty good. They are a young, vibrant couple in New York City with bright futures ahead of them. But one thing is missing: a home of their own. When they find one, it comes with one feature they didn''t expect--an upstairs tenant, Mrs. Connelly, who lives in a rent-controlled apartment, and who isn''t quite as easy-going or frail as Alex and Nancy originally anticipated. As their blissful life begins to seriously fray around the edges, their dream home rapidly turns into a nightmare and they decide that they must get Mrs. Connelly out of their lives.
TV-14
4:00 am
Movie
Envy
Tim and Nick are best friends, neighbors and co-workers, whose equal footing is suddenly tripped up when one of Nick''s hare-brained get-rich-quick schemes actually succeeds: the Vaporizer, a spray that literally makes dog poop, or any other kind for that matter, evaporate into thin air--to where, exactly, is anyone''s guess. Tim, who had scoffed at Nick''s idea and passed on an opportunity to get in on the deal, can only watch as Nick''s fortune--and Tim''s own envy--grow to equally outrageous proportions. When the flames of jealousy are fanned by an oddball drifter who imposes himself into the situation, Tim''s life careens wildly out of control, taking Nick''s with it.
TV-PG