It Doesn't Get Any Better Than This Mon. May, 01 at 05:00 amAl takes a fishing trip alone only to have Peg and Marcy show up and spoil his vacation.
Heels on Wheels Mon. May, 01 at 05:30 amKelly buys a motorcycle to put some fun back into her life but disaster strikes when Al decides to take the bike out for a spin.
Mr. Empty Pants Mon. May, 01 at 06:00 amPeggy's unflattering cartoon makes Al a reluctant celebrity.
You Can't Miss Mon. May, 01 at 06:30 amFed up with his non-existent social life, Bud decides to go on a dating game for nerds. Everyone is surprised when the beautiful Candy chooses Bud for his date. Although the two don't hit it off, Bud is certain that Candy will choose him on next week's show to accompany her on a dream date to Bermuda. Bud is disappointed when she chooses the show's handsome Latin Lover, and returns to find, much to his surprise, a host of available and willing women waiting for him.
Peggy and the Pirates Mon. May, 01 at 07:00 amPeg whips out a trashy romance novel to try to help Seven fall asleep and, imagining herself as the beautiful Princess Scarlett, tells of being kidnapped by Captain Courage, who bears striking resemblance to Al. When Paco, her supposed savior, develops an interest in the androgynous Cabin Boy-Girl, Scarlett turns to Captain Courage, promising to be a loyal servant who will work to feed and clothe him.
Go for the Old Mon. May, 01 at 07:30 amAt first depressed when a theater cashier mistakes him for a senior citizen, Al reconsiders and sees the benefits to getting a senior citizen discount card. Al enters the Chicago Area Senior Athletic Championships much to the embarrassment of his family. Placing fifteenth at the end of the first day's events, Al becomes inspired by the memory of his high school football career. He struggles into second place and after debating whether or not it would be fair to steal the title from an old guy, he catches a glimpse of the trophy and snatches the victory for himself.
Un-Alful Entry Tue. May, 02 at 06:00 amWhen Al renders a burglar unconscious, he is dubbed a local hero for bravely defending his home. Trying to capitalize on his fame, Al proposes selling advertising space on his clothing. All plans are destroyed however, when he is notified the burglar is suing him for $50,000. Finally, with nothing left to lose, Al hits the burglar again hoping to reverse his losses by suing him for damage to his hand.
Movie Show Tue. May, 02 at 06:30 amWhen the Bundy family is reminded that Kelly's birthday is coming up, Al seizes the opportunity to appear generous by offering to take her to the movies after Kelly's boyfriend, Frank, has already invited her out. Certain that Kelly would refuse, the Bundys are surprised when she cancels her date with Frank to join them. As they are settling into their seats at the theater, Kelly is shocked to find Frank out with another girl. Kelly confronts Frank about his unfaithfulness then sends Al over to beat him up.
'Til Death Do Us Part Tue. May, 02 at 07:00 amPeg's complaints about Al's lovemaking to the girls at the beauty parlor makes him the laughing stock of the town. Trying to pull him out of his depression, Peg spreads rumors that she was ravished by him. Despite her efforts, Al still feels inadequate until he has some old flames confirm his sexual prowess. Convinced that he was once a real stud, he works his way back into shape and finally impresses Peg with his revitalized sexual vigor.
Tis Time to Smell the Roses Tue. May, 02 at 07:30 amConvinced by Peg and the kids to take the $12,000 offered by his company for early retirement, Al is forced to take another job as a trainee at Homeplate Athletic Shoes when they start spending the nest egg at a rate that is sure to leave them broke. Al learns that three of his coworkers are planning to buy the store but, hoping to join them in the purchase, he misses out when Peg fails to wake him on time. Finally, Al decides to spend his last $6000 on the lottery, only to find that his coworkers are the big winners.