Meter Made     Wed. May, 24 at 12:00 pm
In order to be taken more seriously, Stan becomes a meter maid who seems to have all the power. Now he's getting the best tables at restaurants, pocketing quarters from meters, and impressing Francine with his prowess. But when Turlington from Parking Internal Affairs pays him a visit, Stan realizes crime and this lifestyle don't pay.


Dope and Faith     Wed. May, 24 at 12:30 pm
Stan prays for a friend and thinks God sent him one, but the friend turns out to be an atheist. Stan tries to convince his friend that God exists by making his life extremely hard, but the plan backfires. Meanwhile, Roger convinces Steve that he has been accepted to Hogwarts.


Big Trouble in Little Langley     Wed. May, 24 at 01:00 pm
Francine's Chinese adoptive parents drop in. Stan can't stand them and tries to find Francine's real parents, but when it becomes obvious they are selfish people who gave up Francine because she would cramp their lifestyle, Stan makes a detour and never introduces them to Francine.


Haylias     Wed. May, 24 at 01:30 pm
Stan, unhappy with the decisions Hayley is making for herself, decides to set her up with a proper husband. He gets her to go along by using her "activation word" which was ingrained in her during CIA summer camp visits when she was little. She listens to everything Stan says, but because it takes too long, reverts to a "mind clause" to kill her handler - Stan.


42-Year-Old Virgin     Thu. May, 25 at 12:00 pm
While playing poker with the guys, Stan is exposed as a virgin, but not in the traditional way - he's never killed anyone. Roger and the guys help Stan bust his killing cherry.


Most Adequate Christmas Ever, The     Thu. May, 25 at 01:00 pm
After Stan comes home from another dangerous mission, he finds that his family has decked the halls with boughs of holly and donned themselves with gay apparel, but just not to his satisfaction.


Franny 911     Thu. May, 25 at 01:30 pm
Francine fakes Roger's kidnapping so she can prove to Roger that Stan still cares about him. So why won't Stan pay his ransom


Tearjerker     Fri. May, 26 at 12:00 pm
Stan and the family are characters in a James Bond-style spoof. Stan must stop Tearjerker, played by Roger, a diabolical film producer who makes movies that can kill. Tearjerker's fiendish plot involves abducting celebrities from his spa and replacing them with celebrity robots that make horrible movies, all in an effort to make his masterpiece "Oscar's Gold" the best and saddest movie ever, causing millions of moviegoers to cry themselves to death.


Oedipal Panties     Fri. May, 26 at 12:30 pm
When Stan's mom, Betty, gets dumped by a boyfriend for the umpteenth time, she comes running to Stan for support. Feeling threatened by her always-visiting mother-in-law, Francine is determined to cut Stan's umbilical cord and figure out what keeps going wrong with the men in Betty's life. Like a regular Cagney & Lacey, Francine and Roger go undercover to solve the case. Meanwhile, Klaus gives Steve the ick.


Widowmaker     Fri. May, 26 at 01:00 pm
Francine pushes Stan to open up to her emotionally, but she gets more than she bargained for when he tells her that he killed her best friend Julie's husband. Meanwhile, Roger plays psychiatrist to help them work through their issues.


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