Bullocks to Stan Mon. September, 26 at 01:00 pmHayley dumps Jeff and dates Bullock. Stan withholds his objections in order to get a promotion.
Smith in the Hand, A Mon. September, 26 at 01:30 pmSteve injures Stan's groin and feels terrible, inadvertently leading Stan to discover masturbation. Meanwhile, Roger opens a bar in the attic.
All About Steve Mon. September, 26 at 02:00 pmStan comes to terms with Steve being a geek when Steve helps him apprehend a cyber-terrorist. Meanwhile, Hayley helps Roger explore life outside the house.
Con Heir Mon. September, 26 at 02:30 pmStan's father returns and tricks Stan into helping him on a jewel heist.
Stannie Get Your Gun Tue. September, 27 at 12:00 pmStan and Hayley attempt to bond, but Stan's obsession with guns gets in the way. When they try to work out their differences at the shooting range, Hayley accidentally shoots Stan and paralyzes him. Meanwhile, Roger takes revenge on Steve for eating his cookie by convincing him he's adopted.
Star Trek Tue. September, 27 at 12:30 pmSteve becomes a famous author, and the entire family gets caught up in his celebrity, including Stan, who becomes an unbearable "stage parent." After Steve hooks up with an agent, he abandons his family to lead a "Cribs" lifestyle.
Not Particularly Desperate Housewives Tue. September, 27 at 01:00 pmFrancine tries to join a women's organization, only to discover that she must cheat on Stan to become a member. Meanwhile, Stan and Roger fight over the attention of an adorable little dog, and Hayley locks Steve and Klaus in her closet.
Rough Trade Tue. September, 27 at 01:30 pmStan and Roger experience life in each other's shoes in a Freaky Friday-type switch. As a result, Roger becomes a car salesman while Stan stays around at home all day, both realizing these lives aren't all they're cracked up to be.
Finances with Wolves Wed. September, 28 at 12:00 pmStan gets a hefty bonus at work and uses it on himself, while Francine opens a muffin shop without Stan's approval. Now without a housewife at home, Stan puts Klaus's brain back into a human body. Meanwhile, Steve is convinced he's becoming a werewolf.
It's Good to Be Queen Wed. September, 28 at 12:30 pmStan seeks revenge for being the focus of a prank during his high school years by showing off that he married Francine, who was the homecoming queen. However, when her title is revealed to be a mistake, Stan's pride gets the best of him and goes out with the real queen.