LGBSteve Mon. March, 30 at 12:00 pmHayley is dying to be on a roller derby team, but they will only let her play if her "sister" Steve will play too. Meanwhile, a magical carpenter visits Stan and Francine and Roger runs the roller rink.
Pilot Mon. March, 30 at 12:30 pmSteve runs for school president to pick up girls (Stan rigs the election, CIA-style) and Hayley pays Roger in candy to write her school papers.
Threat Levels Mon. March, 30 at 01:00 pmAfter a near-death scare involving a CIA bio-toxin, Francine decides to start a job as a realtor...making more money than Stan. Also, bumfighting!
Stan Knows Best Mon. March, 30 at 01:30 pmWhen Stan's military discipline becomes too strict for the liberal Hayley, she runs off with her boyfriend. Meanwhile, Steve claims Roger as his burn-scarred sister in a valiant effort to get some boob.
Shrink, The Mon. March, 30 at 09:00 pmStan is horrified when he sees a couple die in a car crash, and he goes to see a shrink. Meanwhile, Roger and Klaus study for a wine tasting.
Finger Lenting Good Mon. March, 30 at 09:30 pmFrancine asks her family to give up their vices for Lent or risk losing a finger.
Rodger Codger Tue. March, 31 at 12:00 pmRoger runs away after he and Stan have an argument. Once the CIA finds out, they organize a search team in order to find him and bring him in for questioning. So now Stan must either kill Roger or choose friendship over his career.
Francine's Flashback Tue. March, 31 at 12:30 pmAfter a forgotten anniversary leads Stan to submit Francine for memory erasure at the CIA, she reverts twenty years back instead of twenty minutes, becoming once again the wild child she used to be.
Homeland Insecurity Tue. March, 31 at 01:00 pmWhen a new set of Iranian neighbors sends Stan off in a whirl of suspicion that leads to the destruction of Francine's block party, he must find a way to conquer the foreign threat and make it up to her at the same time.
Deacon Stan, Jesus Man Tue. March, 31 at 01:30 pmStan goes to great lengths to compete against his rival, Chuck White, and become the new deacon of their church. Meanwhile, Steve is falling in love with Chuck's daughter, Betsy.