Season 5: Episode 81: The Wife

After Jerry returns a lost locket that once belonged to the dry cleaner's late wife, Marty rewards him with a lifetime discount on all his cleaning. However, overhearing the offer, Jerry's new girlfriend Meryl claims they are married in order to be included, too. So, as they enjoy the idea of being married, Kramer asks if they will take his quilt in to be cleaned. Meanwhile, a kiss at her health club suggests to Elaine that Greg is interested in a romantic relationship, while George admits to urinating in the club's shower.

While Jerry is forced to tell his Uncle Leo that he is married, Greg's wiping off the mouth of her water bottle before accepting a drink causes Elaine to reconsider his intentions as she learns that he saw George peeing in the shower. Then, as the pretend marriage takes its toll on his relationship with Meryl, Jerry tells his parents the truth, while Kramer claims he cannot sleep without his quilt. Worried that his health club membership will be revoked, George asks Elaine to see that Greg doesn't file a complaint. Meanwhile, having gone days without sleep, Kramer remembers he is supposed to meet his girlfriend Anna's family and visits a tanning salon to restore his healthy glow.

His relationship with Meryl on the rocks, Jerry meets an attractive woman who can't afford to have her cleaning done and offers her his discount. Then, after Greg lets her use a piece of gym equipment without his wiping it off, Elaine takes it as a sign of intimacy, while George seizes upon the rules violation as just the thing to save him from being expelled. So, realizing that Greg is actually interested in the club manager, Elaine saves George's membership by threatening to report him. Then, when she goes to pick up her cleaning and is given Paula's, too, Meryl confronts Jerry, who demands that they get a divorce. Finally, after falling asleep in the tanning booth, Kramer's accidentally darkened complexion only upsets Anna's African-American family.

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1:30 am, thursday, august 31st

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